Dragon

21 - She did so much for me

Dragon

When we arrive at the hospital, I lead my family to Kyla’s room. This is the first time anyone other than me has been here. Talisha wanted to visit, but I didn’t think it would be a good idea until Kyla woke up. I don’t know who told her that Kyla was back, but Talisha called me last night to enquire how Kyla was doing. I told her that I’d call her back, and I will when I find the time.

Greer told me that Jane would want to be here; Kyla means everything to her aunt. But I didn’t have a number for the woman, so it hasn’t been easy trying to locate her. Greer mentioned Kyla having a black book at their house. She keeps phone numbers and appointments in that book, but I haven’t been able to find it anywhere.

As Hilly seems to be able to find a needle in a haystack, I sent her to look for the book. Of course, she came back twenty minutes later with the book. I found Jane’s number and called her last night. She was shocked to hear from me, but I could hear the smile in her voice. That is, until I told her about Kyla and what happened. She was devastated, as I had expected her to be.

I haven’t told Greer yet, but Jane should be arriving tomorrow. I don’t want to get Greer’s hopes up in case Jane can’t get the time off work.

I’m dreading Greer’s reaction when she walks into Kyla’s room. She might not be on life support any longer, but machines are still pumping fluids into Kyla. I don’t want Greer to be afraid, but I also can’t put it off.

With her hand in mine, I lead Greer inside Kyla’s room. She surprises me by letting go of my hand and walking over to her mother.

Greer leans in and kisses Kyla’s cheek. “Hi, Mommy. It’s me, Greer; I came to see you. Daddy has been taking really good care of me. You were right. He loves me so much. I miss you, Mommy.” My baby girl sniffs.

“Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.” Hammer mumbles towards me.

“Perhaps not,” I nod in agreement.

Maybe I should take Greer home, but she’s already getting her tablet from her backpack. I watch as she climbs into the chair beside Kyla’s bed and waves me over.

I sit down beside my daughter and stroke the back of her head.

“I bought my tablet, Mommy. I’m going to show Daddy and everyone here your video blogs that you made since I was born.”

I watch Greer with a smile on my face as she asks Mom, Dad, and Hilly to sit around us so that we can all see these videos.

Greer gets herself comfortable on the edge of her seat, a big smile on her face, making sure I’m sitting right beside her. Greer looks around at everyone else and nods to herself. All three are standing behind us because there isn’t room for more chairs. Not if they’re to watch the videos with us.

Greer looks at me, and I nod with a wink, letting her know it’s okay to play the video. She clicks on a file marked Greer, and the screen comes to life.

I see a hospital room with a fifteen-year-old Kyla, the girl I remember, placing her recording device on some kind of platform in front of her. Her hair is tied in a high bun, and she’s wearing a nightie. She’s just given birth, and she looks beautiful. She was always beautiful to me.

I can already feel the emotions clogging my throat, and Kyla hasn’t even spoken yet.

I watch Kyla on the screen, and that’s the girl I remember. She takes a deep breath with her eyes closed. Then she opens them and smiles.

‘My name is Kyla Sw... Just Kyla. I’m fifteen years old, and I am your mommy. You were born two hours ago, and I named you Greer Willow Rose Marshall, and you are so beautiful.’

I smile at my mom, and the look on her face. I’m guessing that hearing Kyla say Greer’s full name, even though Greer already told us she was named after my mother, is very different.

I look back at the screen and stare at Kyla.

‘I’m making this video so that you can one day look back and see how much I loved you from the moment you were born. I’m also making this so that one day we can show your daddy together that I never forgot him.’

I stroke the back of Greer’s head; her eyes are locked firmly on her mother’s face projected through her tablet.

‘Your daddy’s name is Connor Ethan Jaxon Marshall, and he is my best friend. I love him more than anything, except for you, and I will always love him.

'I want to start from the beginning, Greer. I want you to know why we’re alone, why you don’t have a family, and why your daddy isn’t with us. It’s not because he wouldn’t want to be; it’s because we’re just not old enough to be together yet.

‘I met your daddy when I was almost thirteen years old. I was new in school, and he was fighting with an older boy. I was a tomboy, and I stormed over to them. I wanted to get an upfront view of the fight.

'Then the boy with the long dark hair and hazel eyes looked at me and winked, and it made me smile. But because he winked at me, the other boy managed to land a punch on his jaw and knock him back. It made me angry, and I rushed the older boy and beat the crap out of him.’

Everyone in the room laughs along with Kyla on the screen. I’ll never forget that day as long as I live. I thought Kyla was the most perfect creature I’d ever met. I was hooked on her from that moment, and I never wanted to be without her.

‘Your dad and I were best friends from that day. We did everything together, went on many adventures, and got into lots of trouble. But we stood side-by-side and always stuck up for one another.

‘Your daddy has the most amazing parents, Greer. They were always nice to me and always welcomed me into their home. You’ll meet them one day, baby, and they will love you so very much.

‘My parents weren’t exactly pleasant. My dad was strict, and my mother hated me. I won’t go into the reasons why; it’s not worth knowing. . . Your daddy’s mother wasn’t like mine; she was funny and smart. She loved her children, and it always amazed me how she was so willing to show them and tell them how much she loved them every day. I gave you her name, Willow. I did because she showed me what a loving mother should be.

'A few times, your grandmother held me in her arms and told me that one day, I would be somebody’s everything before dropping me home. Those moments with Willow meant so much to me. I love Willow as if she were my mother, and I know she’ll love you endlessly when she finally meets you, Greer.’

I notice my mother wiping a tear from her cheek. Kyla has no idea how much those moments meant to my mother, also.

‘Your daddy and I never intended to make you, Greer. I was frightened because my parents were taking me away, and I didn’t want to leave Connor. I told your daddy that I loved him, and he said he loved me too. Then he kissed me. . . ’ I smile as Kyla’s words trail off.

‘I will never regret having you, Greer. I want you to know that more than anything, because you are my world, and you always will be. My parents may have thrown me away because I refused to abort you, but they never deserved me in the first place. I know that now.

'You will never know that pain, Greer, because I would never throw you away for anything in this world. No matter the mistakes you make, or the accident you may create, I promise that I will always be here for you, and I will always love you.’

My heart aches for the pain Kyla must have been in that day. Kyla’s parents abandoned her because she wanted to keep our baby. It doesn’t even surprise me because I remember how strict they were. Good riddance to them, though that’s easy for me to say.

‘I am also making you this promise, Greer. One day, as soon as I am able, I will take you to your daddy. I know he’s going to love you as much as I do because you are the most beautiful little girl in the world. Daddy won’t be able to stop himself from falling in love with you.

'He is so amazing, Greer, and his heart is as big as the ocean. I hope he’ll understand why I couldn’t come to him sooner. I’m going to keep my promises to him until the day we can be together again. I love you, baby girl, more than anything in this world, and I will protect you always.’

Strong words for such a young girl. Not many would have felt the way Kyla did at that age, but I’m proud that she did.

I close my eyes for a second. I feel the emotion of it all trying to drown me. God, how I wish I could have been there for Kyla at that moment, for Greer, too. I wish I could have held Kyla close to me when she needed me the most.

Kyla, on-screen, leans over the bed to retrieve a tiny-looking Greer wrapped in a pink blanket. She kisses the baby’s head, then looks directly at the camera with a smile on her face. It’s like she’s looking right at me.

‘Connor,’ Kyla swallows hard and turns the baby toward the camera so I can see her little face better. Jesus, Greer was adorable. ‘This is your daughter. She’s beautiful, isn’t she? We made her, Connor. I gave her your name. It’s a better name than the one I was given.

'I’m sorry that I can’t be there with you, and I’m sorry that you won’t get to meet Greer for a while. I’ve been sent to live with my aunt Jane. I don’t know if I ever told you about her, but she’s really lovely, and she’s going to let me keep Greer. Don’t worry; Jane will take care of us.

'I’m scared because you’re not here with us, and I have no way of contacting you. I know that I could write a letter, but what kind of person sends a letter to tell someone they’re a father? What if I write the address wrong and you never get it anyway?’

Kyla drops her eyes for a second.

When she looks up again, I feel her staring right into my soul.

‘I will come back to you, Connor. I promise, one day, I will. I don’t know how long it will take; I’m not sure it can be for a long while yet, but I won’t be gone forever. I love you with all that I am, Connor. I will always love you.’ She blows a kiss to the camera before it goes blank.

I wonder if Kyla planned to somehow send that video message to me. I’ve never had social media. Jett won’t allow it because it’s easy to find people like us that way. If I had something like Faceboo.k, perhaps Kyla would have found me years ago.

I need to get out of this room and get some air, but Greer is already pressing the following video. I don’t know how much of this I can handle. The woman I love, the woman I haven’t seen for nine years, is lying in a bed less than a few inches away from me, deep in sleep, and I’m over here watching videos of her from years ago.

The screen comes to life, and Greer giggles loudly at the sight of herself sitting on a bed facing her mother. She was a beautiful baby, with little dark pigtails in her hair and a massive smile on her face. Kyla is holding her tiny hands and playfully pushing and pulling her little arms, just to hear Greer laugh.

‘Did you enjoy your birthday, baby?’ Baby Greer squeals with happiness. ‘I can’t believe you’re a year old already; it went so fast. This video is so that we can show Daddy how much you’ve grown. We’re going to make one every year on your birthday. Every year, until the year we no longer need to make them. Until the day we’re with Daddy again. I promise, Greer Marshall, with every fiber of my being. I love you so much, baby.’

“I love you, Mommy,” Greer mumbles to herself.

I listen to Kyla making Greer promises through a handful of videos, telling her how much she loves me, how one day we’ll all be together. I hear my daughter’s first words, see her first steps, see her first Christmas, and see her lose her first tooth. All those first milestones, Kyla immortalized on film for me. I may not have been there in person, but I feel like I was, somehow.

My beautiful Kyla gave me something special through these videos. She gave me a way to see everything she saw regarding our daughter, and I will forever be grateful to her for that.

“Greer,” My heart stutters, and my head shoots up. Kyla’s hand is outstretched, reaching for Greer, who jumps out of her seat and rushes over to her mother. “Greer,”

“I’m here, Mommy.”

Kyla’s eyes are still closed, but a smile forms on her lips. “My baby.”

“Mommy,” Greer starts to cry while lying her head on her mother’s chest. “I thought you left me,”

Kyla slowly opens her eyes and wraps her arm around Greer. “I will never leave you, baby girl.” Kyla’s eyes close, too heavy to hold open any longer.