Kissing the Fae

Chapter 40

“The Power of Glamour was originally owned by other kingdom. There was no Achlys or Pixies before. We were once united, everything was white and there was peace. No war, there was no blood shed because of envy.”

We were listening to the Queen Mother telling us about the past. This is what I have always longed for, this is what I have always wanted to hear from her. To know what really happened. The beginning of the tension that still a wonder to me.

The blue Jaybird was nowhere to be found. I figured it must have been gone. So I just focus on the story.

“The Pixies were once part of us. We were so perfect... My mother, the Queen... Me and my sisters were once perfect together. There were no jealousy, everything was parted equally, we were treated equally... The dark emotions hasn’t been found in our hearts until your grandpa came.”

I gulped so hard it made my throat hurts. Was it because of a guy? Was it because of love that our world was separated?

Was it? The love... Oh, how dangerous it is!

“Was it because of love?” I asked curiously yet deep inside, again... I am afraid to know.

I don’t understand it... Because of a guy, one is willing to give up her bloodline. I don’t just get it. One is ready to sacrifice the connection and love she receive from the people for a guy.

I will never get it. I will never understand that mindset. Perhaps because I have no plans to love... for now. And maybe because I grew up with my parents showing me their unconditional love for each other. They proved me that it really does exists. That it is real, that a perfect love can actually happen with the right man.

Honestly, my heart is craving for the kind of love they have. It makes me think of my future. Yes, I have imagined myself sharing a blissful days with the man I would love... And I promised to take care of him, to love him... Yet I also made a promise to myself not to give more if it isn’t returned.

“Yes,” she answered sounded so hurt and sad. “It was because my sister and I loved the same guy, Rani Letisha. It was because we both love your grandfather that our kind was split into two. That was the reason why Achlys was formed... It was the reason why Pixies existed and still living in the dark.”

I refrain myself from talking. Because of love, everything changed. Because of love, we were ruined. The relationship were ruined because of it.

It is really dangerous when one can’t accept the reality, right? If you let your emotion win, you lose. If you let your selfishness takes over you over something that really needs to let go, you’d ruin everything.

It’s so sad to know this. For it means the former leader of Achlys was not successful in taking the love she hoped for. My grandfather chose her, the Queen Mother. Perhaps it was the reason why the leader of the Pixies were so angry she abdicated herself out of the Acres Kingdom to form a group to destroy us.

It was her sister... It was the Queen Mother’s sister.

“She was so jealous and our aunt from another kingdom sided with her that she even gave her power.”

“The Power of Glamour...” I whispered.

“Yes... That power isn’t ours nor Achlys. It was from the forgotten kingdom, Rani Letisha. It was never been ours but my aunt’s power.”

“Then, why... Why is it you who has it now?”

“My aunt die regretting the fact that she gave it to my sister. For that power became her card to split us into to two, it was powerful... It was something we didn’t have. After all, it was the power of the forgotten kingdom which I supposed, is alive until now. We just really don’t know but no one can tell. It is forgotten but it never die.”

I closed my mouth, waiting for the right words to come.

“I have it because aunt, Nuria was the one who gave it to me. She died in that war, she died getting back the Power of Glamour from my sister and yes, she succeeded then, she gave it to me and promise to pass it down to someone I know is deserving. To someone I know won’t use it for her own interest.”

I licked the bottom of my lips. I can see the sadness in her eyes, the loneliness was visible and I may not understand her feelings but I’m with her.

I will always be with her. My grandmother is too precious and I won’t really let anything hurts her. I promise my father to take care of her because he was too busy with his responsibility but I know how much he loves the Queen Mother.

“Rani Letisha, I know you won’t use it for your own interest. I’ve witnessed you grow into a fine lady who cares for her people. Your heart is too pure and soft for them that you won’t do something that would harm them. I know your heart, its put other first before you. I have no doubts that you’d be a good leader everyone will look up to but when the time comes that lies will start to leak, I hope you’d still remain as you now.”

My forehead knotted. Lies.

“What lies?”

The Queen Mother held my hand. She looked at me with assurance in her eyes. It was indeed assuring but because of it, my heart is now filled with doubts and curiosity. What is she talking about? What lies... I know I have a lot of things to learn but what lies...

“What about lies, grandma? What is it about?” I asked her, hoping for an answer but I know I won’t get it soon.

“You’ll know it eventually and I hope you won’t hold a grudge against us...”

My forehead knotted more. I looked at the guys and they seem confuse, too.

“It depends,” I answered truthfully. “It depends on how that lies affects me, Queen Mother. I can’t promise that I won’t hold a grudge but it will be gone later after everything is explained to me.”

I have feelings. I get angry and annoyed. I once held grudges against someone but it was now gone except for the resentment I have for other counselors. I think those type of anger will not be easily erased from me because they deserved it.

They deserve my resentment. Nothing can change nor ease that heaviness in my heart.

She sighed deeply and slightly smile at me. The Queen Mother is kind, yes. She has the looks of kindness that no one would assume that she’s capable of committing a sin.

“I don’t have to prove you’re deserving of the power as I’ve seen your determination, Rani Letisha. You will have the Power of Glamour, I’d even help you grow your wings so you’ll stay on your position. Yet your father is against the idea.”

“Queen Mother, the la Roi wanted nothing but for me to be happy and I am against that. So I am doing this because the people’s sake is more important than my happiness. Besides, seeing their smiles is enough reason for me to smile, too, right? It’s a win win situation and no one should really decide for what makes me happy or not because it’s only me that knows that.”

Lies. I don’t know what truly makes me happy. Is really the smile of people? Is it really staying in the position I have? Is it really my happiness to lead? I don’t know.

It is an obligation. It’s the sense of responsibility that push me to do these things. I am the daughter of the current la Roi and the la Reine. I am ought to follow their steps, to be a responsible and powerful leader, too, like them.

The last thing I want is disappoint from them. Yet these days, I’ve realized that the scariest disappointment comes from yourself.

Failing yourself for the expectation you set for yourself... It’s such a disappointment for me because I know those expectations can be reach if I put my heart and mind to it.

“Whatever it is, I hope it won’t greatly affect me...” I told her.

I hope it won’t. There are a lot of secrets in this world that has been hidden for a long time. I doubt if my parents has none... Yet I didn’t think it has something to do with me. I didn’t think of that.

What it might be? Lies.

The Queen Mother darted her gaze. She looked at the two who has no expression in their faces. I guess like me, they are confused. They seem intrigued to know what those lies are. They want to know as much as I.

“There’s no need to go through sufferings for you to have the Power of Glamour. But I really hope you know the consequence of it, Rani Letisha. Your father won’t let you have it but I also don’t want to see you being abdicated. Your parents won’t like to see you not able to reach your happiness but I hope they’d understand you soon.”

“They will... Eventually, they will understand...”

Being a leader is not easy. It means giving up the future you have for yourself. It means taking care of the people until the day you die. I don’g have plans to give up my titles but who knows... In the future, I might finally find the courage to. For now, that’s just too impossible because I have spent my life thinking leading is what I am really good at. And no matter what, I will always lead.

“I hope...” she uttered. “Your parents loves you so much they’re willing to let you go even how much they wanted you to lead. For your happiness... Your father fated to lead but just like you, he doesn’t want to. It doesn’t make him happy dealing with heavy duties but he had no choice.”

People born with big responsibility doesn’t have a choice. I mean... I had. I had a choice. After all, it wasn’t just me who existed to lead.

There was Julianna. She was an adopted daughter from the other kingdom. Julianna became my sister. She has the ability to rule. She has the power to lead someday yet she was taken away from us.

“This is our fate, Queen Mother...” I heard Terran. “Running away from responsibilities would make us look so selfish for choosing ourselves. And the risk that the throne might be pass down to someone who’d use his power to his own likings is more dangerous. We’d rather suffer than make our people cry in resentment and sufferings in the hands of greedy leader.”

The Queen Mother smiled. I also admired these men, actually. We both shared our little dreams before and I remember, no one wanted to rule. But since this is the life given to us, we just accepted it and become a better version of ourselves for the sake of others.

We don’t prioritize ourselves. We prioritize the safety of other people. We need to think of ways to provide them their needs. Whenever there is a problem, we have to take action, immediately.

Sounds exhausting, right? Yes. It does tiring. Yet this is our fate and we chose to accept it. We didn’t fight for it because we are destined to rule, I guess.

She looked at me seriously.

“Later at evening, be here... We’ll do the rituals to pass down the Power of Glamour to you,” said the Queen Mother.