The 4th CRIME

Chapter 15

"Natalya, can I please have a word?" Mr Kim asked as the sound of the bell, signalling the end of the school day, rang, and I wanted to shake my head and run away. 

Today's been one of the longest days of my life. I've never felt as nervous and unsure as I did today. I spent most of the period worrying about how I looked and how I smelled because I was scared about what Mr Kim would think. 

I know it's pathetic of me to say that, but it's true. Every time he glanced in my direction I couldn't help but to look back at him and hold the eye contact, challenging him but he would win because my eyes would stray from his and I would look down, remembering what happened in this class just a few days ago. 

"Yes, Mr Kim?" I asked kindly as I walked to his table, looking behind me to make sure that the classroom door was open so that nothing could happen. 

"Are you ok?" He asked me as he set down the Shakespeare book he was reading out loud to the class and then folded his arms. 

"Yes, I am. Why do you ask?" I countered as I tilted my head, crossing my feet as I stood up straight. 

"I don't know, you just seem...different," he said as he shrugged like he didn't know what he was talking about. 

I rolled my eyes, "you know, a teacher kissing you, could change a girl a little bit," I shrugged, acting nonchalant and he raised an eyebrow. 

"Well, I guess kissing them back does change them a little bit more," he said with a slight smirk and I narrowed my eyes. 

"Oh please, the last thing I did was kiss you back," I replied with sharp eyes and a sharp tone. 

"Really?" He asked, feigning ignorance, "that's not how I remember it." 

"Cut the crap and act your age, I didn't kiss you back." 

"And why is that? Because if I remember correctly you kissed me back." 

"You're clearly delusional because I didn't kiss you back, hell, I don't even know how..." I swallowed my words and cleared my throat when I saw the light in his face as my hands tightened into fists. 

"Ah," he sighed, "that's why..." He said softly as he leaned against the table, making a simple action seem so effortless. "That was your first kiss." 

I looked him in the eye, "it was not," I said to him, "you overstepped your boundaries and-" 

"Yes it was your first kiss," he said nodding before smiling and then chuckling, "I knew it." 

I turned, walking to the door. I was done with this man and I didn't want to be here anymore with him. I was kind of feeling hurt at the fact that he got it right. It was my first ever kiss, and not only that but he knew it was. That meant I was terrible and that hurt. I don't know why, but it did. 

I felt a hand grip me on my upper arm and spin me around and I was met with Mr Kim's dark eyes and I frowned at him even more. "Let me go," I stated calmly. 

"I was going to apologise for kissing you," he said to me instead, still holding me, "but I don't like lying. And I refuse to apologise for something I wanted to do and something I enjoyed because I know that you, enjoyed it as much as I did." 

"Let me go." 

"I know it was wrong, Natalya, but I can't get you out of my head." 

I blinked in response, astounded by his confession as I shook my head, "that's-" 

"Believe me when I say that I respect my students so much and I expect the same thing back. I've never felt this way towards any student, no matter how attractive or how intelligent...but Natalya, dammit, I liked the kiss." 

He looked at me, waiting for a response but I don't know what he was expecting me to say. Celebrate? Cry? I mean, here's a grown man admitting to me that he has some kind of attraction to me. 

"Excuse me?" I asked him, raising an eyebrow. 

"Nat-" 

"You're such a paedophile," I said to him as I glared at him. 

He was just using me. I was just different from all of his students. I kissed a teacher for crying out loud, what the hell am I doing? I don't do things like this. I don't know teachers, I don't argue with teachers, I don't give teachers that spare time of mine and I don't allow people to touch me. 

"Paedophile?" He said in disbelief, "I..." He stopped and then let go of me as though he touched a hot stove and hissed as though I'd physically burned him, "oh, my..." He took steps back away from me and I stood where I was. 

I don't know what I was feeling but it wasn't good. There was an ache, like him walking from me and the look he was giving me wasn't helping me. It was making me feel some type of way. 

I wanted to apologise. I know the word paedophile can trigger many people but- what the hell am I thinking? I shouldn't care. He's a grown man. He's a grown man who knows the difference between right and wrong. 

He's been using me for his sick pleasures and fantasies and I refuse to be that silly little girl. Something like this will never end well, and I'm not going to waste any time with this man. I refuse to be a victim. 

I don't get played and I refuse to give this man power over my thoughts and who I am. The only ones important to me is my family. 

"I di-" he seemed to struggle with his words, running his hands through his hair as he looked at his feet and then at me, anger in his eyes, "go home, we're done here." 

I was startled by the sudden change in him. Gone was the playful man, and now replaced with this...not so playful man. I swallowed and without a second thought I took my schoolbag and walked out of the classroom. I stopped outside, closing the door to give him some sort of privacy as I walked away. 

I heard the sound of something loud crashing and I was sure that Mr Kim had either flipped his desk or threw a chair across the room. 

I made eye contact with the janitor and he looked away from my eyes quickly as I walked to the wide open doors, towards my brother who was looking at me with a suspicious look, no doubt certain that I was with Mr Kim. 

I could see it in his eyes. They were blank but displayed question and I didn't feel in the mood to answer but I needed to say something to someone to rid the word paedophile from my lips and my tongue. They caused a deadly shiver through my mind when I thought of it and I couldn't help but wonder if really, Mr Kim was some sort of paedophile.

"Drive," I said to him instead as I tossed him my car keys and then walked to the passenger side. Not speaking to him as I got into the car, took out a cigar from my pocket and put it to my lips. 

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