8
BUT I’M AN ODDBALL
I wake, the pain intense. I try different positions, my sleep fitful. When I can’t stand it any longer, I drag myself out of bed. It feels as though hot knives are stuck in my lower spine, sending endless searing pain down my legs. I just wanted to be normal for a while, but I constantly berate myself for dancing. I pace my small apartment, tears leaking as I try to stretch it out.
I get busy to take my mind off of it. I clean Darcy’s litter box. I vacuum. When it all just seems to make it worse, I give in, my cheeks stiff with salt. I get out the prescription bottle I only open on rare occasions. I choke down two chalky pills with water. They work fast on an empty stomach, and as I lay down, I’m relieved to feel the pain begin to ebb. I sink heavily into darkness.
