Plaything

Eyes on me

Jay told me that he had to go take care of some stuff with his chopshop, but that was three days ago. I was pacing my living room, my nerves shot to hell. He hadn’t called, hadn’t texted, nothing. For him, that was real out of character. He’d leave for business, sure, but he always found time to check in, even if it was just a quick “I’m good, baby” or a random meme to make me laugh. But this? Days of silence? Nah, it wasn’t sitting right with me.

I flopped on the couch, dialing Yas on video chat. It rang twice before her face popped up, a bonnet perched on her head, eating a popsicle like she didn’t have a care in the world.

“What’s up, sis?” she asked, leaning back.

“Girl,” I huffed. “I ain’t heard from Jay in days. You think somethin’ happened?”

She raised an eyebrow and let out a dramatic sigh. “You’re gonna drive yourself crazy over that man. You said he been tied up with work, right?”

“Yeah, but he always checks in,” I threw a hand up. “What if he got hurt or somethin’? What if—”

“Stop right there,” she interrupted, pointing her popsicle at the screen. “There’s no point in spiralin’. If somethin’ happened, you’d know by now. Jay doesn’t strike me as the type to leave loose ends.”

“But—”

“Nik,” she cut me off again, giving me that look only Yasmine could. “Eyes on me, breathe. You need to talk to him, fine. But don’t be out here stressin’ yourself sick over a man that’s probably just hustlin’ as usual.”

I sighed, leaning my head back on the couch. “You right. I hate it when you’re right.”

“I know,” she smirked. “Now, go get you a glass of wine or somethin’. Relax.”

“Yeah, I’m tripping hard. I’ll do that and wait for him to call.” She reassured me that everything was fine and we talking a little more before I hung up the phone. This damn wine wasn’t helping at all. I didn’t even finish the glass. I sat glass on the counter when my phone lit and Jay’s name appeared. It was a text from him, telling me to meet him at his place.

When I arrived, I was relieved to see his truck parked in the driveway. I knocked on the door and he opened it after a couple of seconds. I smiled, happy to see that he was in one piece, but that only lasted for all of two seconds. His shoulders were stiff, and his jaw was set like he’d been preparing for a fight.

“Nik, we need to talk,” he voice was low.

That feeling in my chest turned ice cold. “What’s up with you?” I asked, crossing my arms.

“I think... I think we need to cool it.” I frowned at him and he was avoiding my eyes.

His words caught me off guard. “Cool it? What the hell does that even mean?”

“It means this ain’t workin’ out,” he gestured back and forth between us. His tone was detached. “What we had was good, but you deserve better and I can’t be that man to give you what you expect of me.”

I stared at him like he lost his damn mind. Because he did. “You jokin’, right? We’ve been solid. Where the hell is this comin’ from?”

He didn’t answer, just kept looking away.

“Jabari,” I snapped, using his full name. His eyes flickered to mine for a moment, and I swore I saw something, maybe hesitation before he shut it down again.

“This ain’t about you. It’s me. I can’t give you what you need.” Bullshit!

“Don’t play that ‘it’s me, not you’ s**t with me,” I stepped closer. “If you’re done with me, at least give me the damn truth.”

Before he could answer, a voice cut in.

“Well, this is awkward,” Vanessa stepped into the room like she owned the place. She had that same smug smirk on her face that I’d seen before, and my blood boiled instantly. And then Jay did the one thing that broke me. He wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her close like she belonged there. This b***h had the nerve to kiss his cheek.

“Really?” I glared at him, my voice low and dangerous. “This what we doin’ now?”

“Nik, I—” he started, but Vanessa cut him off, her tone dripping with fake sweetness.

“Maybe if you focused less on chasin’ him and more on knowing your place—”

“Oh, you think you’re special?” I shot back, cutting her off. “Sweetie, you’re a non-factor. Stay in a side chick’s lane before you embarrass yourself further.”

Vanessa’s smirk faltered for a second before she turned to Jay, expecting him to defend her.

“You really gon’ stand there like that?” I asked, my voice trembling with a mix of betrayal and rage. “After everything we been through? I loved you, Jabari. I loved you for a while now. And you said you loved me too. Or was that just part of your little game?”

He looked torn, his grip on Vanessa’s waist loosening slightly. But then he hardened again, his walls going back up.

“It’s about what’s best.”

“Bullshit,” I spat, shaking my head. “I never thought of you to back away when s**t gets too real for you. But it was never supposed to go this far, right? You ain’t gotta push me away to deal with your issues. But this? This fake-ass ‘it’s for the best’ excuse? Nah, I’m not buyin’ it.”

Vanessa tried to chime in again, but I silenced her with a glare. “Girl, shut the hell up. You think you’re winning right now. That’s cute.”

I stood there, my chest tight as hell, but no tears came. No way was I gon’ let Jay—or her—see me crack. One thing about me? I’ve never been the type to crumble, and I wasn’t about to start now.

Jay stood there looking all detached like he ain’t know me, turned to Vanessa like I wasn’t even in the damn room.

“Vanessa, you want something to drink?” he asked, his voice low and smooth, like he wasn’t just ripping me apart in real time. I wanted to punch him.

“Nah, I’m good, baby,” she said, leaning into him like the snake she was.

I clenched my jaw so tight, I thought I might crack a tooth. But instead of snapping, I nodded slowly, the anger bubbling in my chest now ice cold.

“Alright,” my voice was calm despite the rage and urge I had to snatch her by her hair. “I see what this is now.”

Jay didn’t even look my way. “Nik, you should go.”

I stared at him for a moment, my fists clenching at my sides. “Oh, I’m gone. Don’t worry ‘bout that,” I assured him, my tone colder than winter in New York.

I stepped forward, my eyes locking on his. “But let me tell you somethin’, Jabari Moore. You ain’t gotta humiliate me in front of... this one—” I flicked my eyes toward Vanessa, dismissing her without a second thought—“to prove whatever point you tryin’ to make. You coulda just said you ain’t man enough.”

Vanessa opened her mouth to say somethin’, but I cut her off before she could get a word out.

“You finally got him for the moment—enjoy it while it lasts,” I threw her a look that shut her down immediately.

Jay’s eyes flickered for a second, a crack in that cold-ass facade. But I didn’t care about his guilt.

I walked to the door, my back straight and my head high, but before I stepped out, I turned around one last time.

“You were everything to me,” my voice was steady. “But you let fear—or whatever this mess is—win and that’s on you. Not me.”

And with that, I left his place, shutting the door behind me softly, but the finality of it echoed louder than any slam ever could. This was why I didn’t want to fall in love.

I walked to my car and drove off. f**k him and her. I’m better than this cat and mouse game. But maybe this was my karma for giving my body to him that first night. Bargaining my body for f*****g parts and labor. It was so dumb and young minded. When I made it home, I kicked off my shoes and headed towards my bed. I didn’t even realize that tears were falling down my cheeks. Ugh! I hated crying and I hated that Jay was the reason.