The Wedding Was Never Mine

A month before the wedding, I looked over the revised wedding plan my parents had made and asked, "Why are there two rehearsals?" "One for you, and one for Serena. Adrian will rehearse with your sister too." The fork in my hand froze halfway to my mouth. For a moment, I thought I had misheard. "It's my wedding. Why does Serena need a rehearsal?" "For fairness," my mother said without even looking up. "Since you were little, when have you ever had something that Serena didn't get a share of?" "Mom, this is a marriage, not something to be divided up." "So what if it's a marriage?" My father set his whiskey glass down hard enough to spill a few drops. "Back then, your sister gave up that school placement for you after crying all night! She's afraid of marriage. She just wants to experience what it feels like. And you can't even let your boyfriend walk down the aisle with her once?" I opened my mouth, but no words came out. Ever since our aunt died ten years ago and Serena was adopted by my family, everything I had had been split into two. All for the fairness my parents kept talking about. That school placement was something I had earned myself. Serena hadn't gotten in. She cried once, and my parents spent more than a hundred thousand dollars to send her to the same school. They always said that whatever the younger sister had, the older sister had to have too. I turned to Adrian. He placed a freshly peeled shrimp in my bowl, then casually replaced my soup with a hot one. "It's still very hot. Let it cool for a while before you drink it." For that one simple sentence, my nose suddenly stung. Throughout our five years together, he had always cared for me so gently. "Adrian." My voice trembled slightly as I called his name. "Will you rehearse with her?" A few seconds passed before he looked up at me. His expression was calm. "It's only one walk-through. Don't make things difficult for your parents. You're the only one I love." Serena lowered her head and said softly, "I don't want anything. I just want to borrow Maisie's wedding for one walk-through—to know what it feels like to get married." Then she changed the subject. "I'm a little cold." Adrian got a light blanket from the sofa and draped it over the back of Serena's chair. He never noticed that I was sitting in the path of the draft, shivering in the cold air all evening. That night, my mother sat beside my bed. Her voice was so gentle that she seemed like a different person. "Maisie, I know this is unfair to you. But think about it. Serena lost her parents when she was ten and had to live under someone else's roof. You've had a better life than she has. Your parents are still here, and you have someone as thoughtful as Adrian. When your aunt died, she held my hand and entrusted Serena to me. I can't let people say that the Carter family mistreated an orphaned girl." "So what?" My voice was hoarse. "Does that mean if she wants my wedding, I have to give it to her too?" "I'm not asking you to give it to her!" My mother grew anxious. "It's just a rehearsal, one walk-through! You'll still be the bride at the real wedding!" She shoved the schedule into my hands, her eyes red. "If you refuse, your father says we'll put the wedding on hold." My whole body went rigid. "Maisie, you've waited for this for so many years. You're only one step away." She gripped my hand tightly. "Don't fight with the family over this, okay?" My phone lit up. Adrian had sent me a voice message. I tapped it, and his low, soothing voice filled the room. "Maisie, don't overthink it. After the wedding, we'll go to Silverpine and see the grasslands. It's only one walk-through. You're the only bride in my heart. And if your parents keep making a fuss, that won't be good either." Then another message came through. "Get some sleep. I'll pick you up tomorrow. If you don't rest well, you won't look good in your wedding dress." I listened to that voice message over and over again. Adrian remembered my period and always bought hot ginger tea in advance, slipping it into my bag. Whenever I worked late into the night, he waited for me downstairs. It felt as though the headlights of his car were lit just for me. One winter, I came down with a terrible fever, and he stayed by my side all night. At four in the morning, I opened my eyes in a haze and saw him sitting beside the bed, using a cotton swab dipped in warm water to moisten my lips, little by little. When he saw that I was awake, he bent down and kissed my forehead. "The fever's gone down. Go back to sleep. I'm right here." In that moment, I thought I would spend the rest of my life with him. The wounds my parents had left in me found comfort in him.