I Thought You Were Dead

Chapter One

"Avada Kedavra!" Rodolphus Lestrange shot the killing curse at me, I narrowly missed it, the spell passing my arm, I collapsed to the floor, pretending to be dead. I heard the Death Eaters leave the street, that's when I decided that I'd disappear for a while, just until things calmed down.

I was on my way to Godric's Hollow that evening to meet James and Lily's son for the first time when Rodolphus Lestrange, Bellatrix Lestrange and Lucius Malfoy had attacked me. I was meeting my brother there as well, then I was due to stay at his.

I thought about it hard and then I felt the change, I had turned into my Animagi form, I was unregistered so the Ministry couldn't figure anything out. I spread my wings out and flew as far away from the West of England as I could get before my wings ached.

I found a tree and looked around. Welcome to Abergavenny. A sign read, even in my Little Owl form I could read the sign. I was in Wales.

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For the next fifteen years, I lived in trees around Abergavenny. I found a copy of The Daily Prophet lying around saying that Sirius Black's name had finally been cleared. Cleared from what? I don't know, this was the first Wizarding paper I had seen since that night fifteen years ago when the Death Eaters attacked me.

Apparently Black had got his old family home back again, which gave me an idea, maybe I could fly across and see if he is there or not.

I found a mouse to eat before setting off on the journey to London, to find Sirius. On the flight across, I wondered how my brother, Remus, was. I hadn't seen him since the month before the attack, he had no clue what had happened unless The Daily Prophet had covered it.

I felt bad, I could have at least sent him a letter in my animagus form, to let him know that I was alive and okay.

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Once I reached the Black Residence, I pecked on the door as hard as I could, I could hear footsteps getting closer and closer and then it opened, Molly, a girl who was in my brothers year at Hogwarts opened the door. "Come in little owl! You must be cold and wet!" She exclaims, letting me fly in, the rain had not long started.

"Who is it, Molly?" Sirius asks, poking his head around the door. "An owl, it's odd though, it's carrying a copy of The Daily Prophet from three days ago." I perch on her arm as she takes to through to the kitchen. I hadn't told anyone about being an animagus so no one would recognise me.

"Where'd the owl come from?" A boy who looked a lot like James Potter asked Molly. " I don't know." She says, I spot my brother and immediately fly over to him and land on his arm, giving him a peck on his hand for affection. "It seems to like you though Remus." Bill grins.

I hoot a little as Remus strokes over my feathers, god I'd missed him. "Where are you going little owl?" He asks as I hop off of him and onto the floor. I thought about my true appearance, my human form and for the first time in fifteen years, I was human again.

"Lola? I thought you were dead!" Remus jumps out of his chair and pulls me into a hug. "I know, I'm sorry. I had to disappear though, it was my only option then." I cry into my older brothers shoulder.

"What really happened? The Ministry said that you were killed by Death Eaters and then they hid your body." Remus pulls an extra chair out and sat me down. "Well, I was on the way to Godric's Hollow to visit James and Lily, like we all were to visit their new child, and on the way, I was stopped by Lucius Malfoy and Rodolphus and Bellatrix Lestrange, they all started firing killing curses at me after I refused to tell them where the Potter's were hiding." I start.

"Then Rodolphus fired another, it barely missed my arm but I faked being dead, so they left. Then as I'm an unregistered animagi, I switched forms and then have lived in Abergavenny ever since. This is the first time I've been in human form since that night." I sigh. "I'm so sorry Lola. How'd you know that we were here?" Remus puts a hand on my shoulder.

I pointed at the copy of The Daily Prophet that I had brought with me. "That, someone had dropped it. It felt good seeing one again, I hadn't seen a copy of it lying around since, well, since when I left. Speaking of which Sirius, what does it mean by you finally got your name cleared? I've had no news at all for fifteen years." I turn to look at the other man.

"Well, the year after you died- I mean disappeared, Peter Pettigrew sold the Potter's out to the Dark Lord, their hiding place and everything. The Dark Lord then killed the Potter's, but their son, Harry, survived. I apparated across as soon as I heard the news, Pettigrew killed twelve muggles with a single curse and then cut his own finger off and ran off, in his animagi form. I then got arrested for it and spent the next twelve years in Azkaban." Sirius explains the whole story.

"Wow. I'm so sorry about your parents." I turn to the boy who looked just like James. He gives me a small smile. "Oh, you don't know who I am, do you? Remus! I'd have thought that you would have at least told the boy about me!" I joke before introducing myself to him.

"I seriously thought you were dead Lola please don't ever do that to me again." My brother says, hugging me again. "I know, I apologise. I was going to write and send it using my animagi form but it was too dangerous, I didn't know what the Ministry had said about me and if word got out to the Death Eaters then I would have been gone for good. And I didn't know where you were living at the time so..." I trail off.

"Don't worry about that. All that matters is that I have you back now and I won't let you out of my sight." I study Remus' face, there were tears rolling down it. I use my now way to small cloak to wipe his tears away. "We need to get you new cloaks and probably a wand as well." He says.

"I don't need it," I say. "Why not?"

"It's probably best if I live as an owl, for now, considering that Sirius said that the Death Eaters and you know who is on the rise again. I don't want to risk anything. When we're here then I might change into my human form, but like I said, I can't risk it." I smile weakly at my brother.

"I understand. I can't believe I wasn't with you that night, I-I could have fought them off." He blabbers, I stop him. "They'd have killed you too. They took my wand and snapped it so I couldn't fight back." I sigh.

I catch Dumbledore whispering something to Severus and him nodding in agreement. "Well, I'll get dinner started! I'm sure you all, especially Lola must be hungry!" Molly stands up, Professor McGonagall and what looks like Molly's daughter go and help her.

"Definitely, I've lived off of rodents, beetles and other small mammals for the past fifteen years, I can't remember what real food tastes like." I laugh, it was a dry, raspy laugh as I hadn't used my voice for fifteen years.

"Ew!" Another boy, who looked like Molly and Arthur, exclaims. "How about we make you live off of that diet Ron?" Two identical twins giggle. "Can you tell me who everyone is, I only recognise Bill Weasley out of the younger people, I've not seen Molly since he was born," I whispered to Remus.

He points everyone out, including people I already knew, just to refresh my memory. "Thank you, big brother." I smile, not too long later, Molly and the other two are done cooking dinner, which was mashed potato and chicken.

"Thank you, this is amazing. It's so nice to eat proper food again." I wolf done my plate. "You're welcome." Molly smiles. "Lola, slow down, you're going to-" I cut my brother off by coughing violently. "-choke." He finishes, helping me out.

"Thanks, Remmy." I grin, wiping my mouth. "Don't call me that and calm down yeah? No need to eat so damn quickly." Remus shakes his head. "Wouldn't you be excited though to finally eat proper food and not rodents and beetles and stuff?" I ask him. "I know where you're coming from. Azkaban doesn't feed you well and when I escaped and before I got my name cleared, I was living in my animagi form, eating whatever I could find."

"Thank you, Sirius!" I exclaimed, happy that someone got my point. He smiles up at me before I turn back to Remus. "See my point Remmy, human food is much nicer than the food I've lived off of for fifteen years."

"Okay okay! Just stop calling me Remmy." He groans. "What about Rem?" I ask. "No!"

"What can I give you as a nickname then?" I giggle. "You can use his nickname from school. Moony!" Sirius suggests. "Great idea! Thank you!" I grin. "So Moony, you see my point now?" I stuff the last mouthful of food into my mouth.

"I'll go wash up, once you're done, bring your plates through!" I stand up and head towards the sink."Lola, don't, I'll do it." Molly says. "Nope, you, Ginny and Professor McGonagall cooked, I'll clean."

"Lola, it's Minerva to you now, I'm no longer your teacher." McGonagall laughs. "Sorry Professor- I mean Minerva!" I start to run a sink full of water. After I'd finished washing everyone's plates and the pots up, I sit back down next to my brother.

"So, owl life eh?" Moody asks me. "Yeah," I reply. "How was it?" He asks. "It was decent until the male owls took some uh interest into me." I roll my eyes at the thought. "Haha, that must have sucked."

"Yep."

"So Lola, you'll be sharing a room with your brother, for now. You may join the Order if you wish, but stay undercover as an owl." Professor Dumbledore smiles at me. "Alright. I will join the Order, considering this time I am old enough." I say. "Good. We'll have you spying on people because you are unregistered, right?" I nod. "And if we need to reach Harry or anyone in or out of Hogwarts, we'll rely on you to deliver messages as an owl, it's less risky than using one of our own, no one will know who you belong to."

"Great!" I say I feel Remus wrap an arm around me protectively. "Don't worry dear brother, I won't get myself hurt or anything," I say. "I know. I'm just worried after the accident fifteen years ago. I really don't want to lose you again."

"I know, I'll be fine though. I'm thirty-four now, that's only a year younger than you." I reassure him. "You're still my little sister though." He says. "Yes I know, I'll always be your little sister, I can't really change that." I pat him on the back.

"Well, it looks like it's time for me to turn back into an owl," I say after half an hour of discussing things that I have missed in the past decade and a half. "I love you, Lola." Remus mumbles. "I love you too."

Then I transformed back into an owl. "We'll go and get some mealworms tomorrow for you," Hermione says. I flap my wings and sit on Remus's knee. It made me happy to finally see him again. He cups me in his hands and holds me close to his chest, stroking my feathers gently.

Remus was overprotective of me at Hogwarts when we were younger, goodness knows how protective he'll be now, now he knows what really happened.

I gently pecked his face, as if I was kissing it. "Hey man, can I hold her? I want to tell her something." Sirius says, Remus nods and hands me over to him.

"Hey, avoid the other owls, the male ones are a little... "He couldn't finish his sentence because an owl swoops down and starts to run himself against me. "Hedwig! No!" Harry showed the owl away.

"Just be careful, yeah?" Sirius sniggers, I peck his hand hard out of annoyance. " Ouch, Moony! Your sister pecked me." "I can see why she'd do it, if I were an owl then I'd peck your eyes out."

"Don't give her ideas!" Sirius squeaks. I give a weird sounding hoot, which was meant to be a laugh but oh well, Remus gave me a weird look. "What's it like having an owl for a sister?" Sirius jokes. "Well, I also have a dog for a best friend so you know." Remus laughs, taking me back off of Sirius.

Sirius transforms into a dog and barks at me, I hoot back loudly. He tries to lick me so I peck his ear. "Ouch, Moony, your sister's a bully." Sirius whines, turning back into his human form and rubbing his ear. I give a little-satisfied hoot before settling myself onto Remus' shoulder and snuggling into his neck.

"Isn't it a bit weird though? Having her living as an owl." Ron asks. "Ronald! It's for her safety." Molly whacks him over the head with a tea towel. I jump off of my brother and switch forms. "That's rich coming from you, you slept with Peter Pettigrew every night for years." I snort.

"So?" He glares. "It's no different, he's an animagus as well. And he slept in your bed with you." Remus pulls me down. "Stupid woman." Ron mumbles. "Excuse me, what was that?" I gasp. "I SAID YOU WERE A STUPID WOMAN, GET AWAY FROM HERE." He yells.

I transform back into an owl and fly out of an open window. I hovered by it to hear the argument that raged on inside.

"RONALD! THAT WASN'T VERY NICE!" Molly screams. "Mum calm down, I'll go and find her." Bill stands up, Charlie and a girl called Nymphadora follow him out of the door. I fly higher up so I don't get seen. "What if I never see her again? I don't want to lose her again." My brother cries.

"They'll get her back, don't worry Moony." Sirius comforts him. "I hope so Padfoot. Fifteen years was long enough without her. I failed mum and dad, I promised to protect her, then I lost her." He Sobs. "You haven't failed anyone."

You never failed me or mum or dad don't worry Remus. You were a great big brother. I think. "Ron, apologise to Remus. You're the reason his sister is gone." Arthur snaps. "Well she shouldn't have interfered should have she?"

"I'm going to bed." Remus sighs. I looked down at the ground, I could see the Weasley brothers and Tonks below me. "Have you found her?" Sirius asks, coming out and joining them. I silently fluttered to directly above him and pooed into his hair.

"Accio Owl." Charlie sniggers, I land into his arms. "LOLA LUPIN! YOU RUINED MY AMAZING HAIR!" Sirius screams once we got inside. "Scream again and I'll s**t in your hair again." I giggle, turning back into my owl form. "Oh no, you won't." Sirius uses magic to get rid of the poo before turning into a dog and chasing me upstairs into the room that Remus was staying in.

My wings began to ache so I landed on the bed, Sirius jumped up on top of me and barked. "Sirius, shut up." Remus groans. The dog licks my face, he goes to lick me again but I get there first and peck his nose. He whines a little and I hoot happily.

I transform back into my human form, Sirius still on top of me. He licks my face again before transforming into human form as well. "Well Miss Lupin, have you learnt your lesson?" He straddles me, moving his face closer to mine and whispering.

"I guess I have Mister Black," I smirk up at him, he leans down and kisses me, moving to my neck and starting to take off my top. I moan slightly when he hits a certain place on my neck, he smirks at me and continues to suck that part of my neck.

"Lola quit moaning, I want to go to sle-." Remus got off of his bed. "Sirius Orion Black, get the f**k off of my sister, now!" He yells, Sirius scampers out of the room and my brother comes to sit next to me. "Did he hurt you? What happened? Why was he on top of you? Are you oka-" I cut him off by kissing him on the lips.

"s**t! I'm sorry. I didn't- I-I." I jump off of the bed realising that I'd just kissed my brother, on the lips. I switch form into my animagus and fly off in embarrassment. "Lola?" I see Charlie Weasley in front of me.

"Yeah?" I switch back into a human. "Why are you flying so quickly?" He asks I flush red. "Um." I start. "There you are!" Remus shouts, I ran. Right into Sirius. "What's wrong?" He asks. "Hide me where my brother can't find me," I say.

"My wardrobe, owl form quick." I switch and he puts me on his arm, covering me with his cloak. "There you go." Sirius places me into his wardrobe. I hoot a thank you to him before he closes the doors on me.

"Hey Padfoot, have you seen my sister?" Remus asks. "No." Sirius answers. "Shit."

"Why do you need her?" Please don't tell him. "I was rambling on after I told you to get off of her. I asked a ton of questions and and..." Remus cuts himself off. "And what?"

"She cut me off by um." Remus stutters. "By kissing me." He whispers the last bit, I swear my feathers turned a violent shade of red as I cringed. "She kissed you? Lola kissed you?" Sirius yells.

"Yes, no need to shout though." My brothers hisses. "Was it a good kiss?" Sirus asks, there was a smacking sound thirty seconds later, had my brother just hit Sirius? "Jeez, I just asked a question."

"How am I supposed to answer that? It was my SISTER who kissed me, I can't exactly say that it was good because it's wrong." Remus screams. "So, you thought it was a good kiss?" Silence.

"You did!" Sirius exclaims. "No. I. Did. Not." I hear the door slam shut, turning into my human form, I let out a tear. "Lola?" Sirius opens the wardrobe. "I just ruined my relationship with my brother. I've been gone for fifteen years and what did I do? I kissed him, Sirius. I f*****g kissed him. He's going to hate my arse."

I run out of the room and collapse onto a chair in the kitchen. I feel a hand on my shoulder, it was Charlie Weasley. "Are you okay?" He asks, sitting on a chair opposite of me. "I messed up. Really badly." I sigh.

"What did you do?"

"My brother went on one of his rambles and I stopped him. By kissing him. I can't believe how much of an i***t I am." I say. "Oh, Merlin." Charlie curses. "I know. I ruined everything." I slump back into my chair. "No, you didn't." We turn around and see Remus. "I am so sorry Remus, I really didn't mean to kiss you," I say.

"It's fine, don't worry, besides..." He smirks slightly, getting closer to me. "Remus-" I start, he places his hands on my cheeks and presses his lips onto mine. I deepen the kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Well, this will be one f****d up family tree."

Sirius laughs from behind us.

"Lyall Lupin, married Hope Howell. Kids, Remus and Lola Lupin, Remus Lupin married Lola Lupin." He continues. "Oh shut up Sirius." I smack the back of his head after Remus and I break apart.

"Ouch, what was that for?" He asks. "For being a dickhead," I say, Remus wraps his arms around my waist and puts his head into the crook of my neck. "This is very messed up." Charlie shakes his head. "It is but I don't care." My brother says.

"What's messed up?" Molly asks, entering the room, the majority of the Order stood behind her. "Nothing."I flush a bright shade of red. "LolaandIkissed." Remus blabbers without thought.

"REMUS!" I elbow my older brother in horror. "All I heard was 'Lola' and 'kissed', I don't think I want to know what happened." Kingsley sniggers, I shoot him my death glare. "Lola and Remus kissed, twice actually. Lola accidentally kissed him upstairs, in his room and then Remus just kissed her now." Sirius smirks.

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK! HOW DARE YOU TELL EVERYONE!" I screech, I turn into my animagus and fly at him, trying to peck him. He switched form as well and I flew after him. "LOLA, SIRIUS STOP!" Remus chases after us.

I see blood dripping down Sirius' ear. "Lola, what did you do to him?" My brother grabs me in my owl form, I try to peck at him as well. "Petrificus Totalus." My brother points his wand at me. "Remus, did you just petrify your sister?" Molly asks sternly.

"Ah, she'll be fine." He waves it off, little s**t. "Pads, I need you to transform back," Remus orders Sirius, he does as he's told. Remus wipes the blood off of Sirius' ear. "Lola, you've taken a chunk out of Padfoot's ear." He says. Oops, well. He deserved it.

"I'll take care of Sirius, Remus. Don't worry." Molly shuffles past my brother, picking Sirius up. "Thank you, Molly." He says.

Remus POV

I pick my sister up, in her petrified owl state and carry her upstairs into the room we were sharing. "Finite," I mumble, she becomes unstuck and changes back into human form. "Lola, you took a chunk of Sirius's ear out," I say.

"I know, I'm sorry." She sighs.

"Well, we'll need to punish you."

"I'm thirty-four."

"So?" I say, Lola gives up arguing and flops onto the bed, exactly where I want her. "Remus, what are you doing?" She asks, I straddle her and press my lips onto hers. Lola kisses me back, my hands wander up to her chest before the door banged open.

"I don't know your intentions with your sister Remus, but it's very wrong. And I advise that you don't do anything inappropriate." Molly stumbles over her foot and falls into the room.

"Okay." I get off of my sister and go downstairs. "Hey Nymphadora, I've changed my mind. I will date you." I say.

Lola POV

I lay on the bed where Remus had left me and pulled the duvet over my eyes, had he just tried to do what I thought he did? After a while of lying in silence, the door opens. There are two voices, one belonging to my brother, the other to Nymphadora Tonks.

The two start messing around in bed, after an hour of putting up with it, I grab my duvet and pillow and make my way downstairs, going into the kitchen and lying down there. I close my eyes and think about the past fifteen years, how I could have tried to find my brother, or made an attempt to contact him but didn't.

"Lola?" I look up and see Arthur stood over me. "Yeah?"

"Why are you lying down here?" He asks. I explain to him the situation and he chuckles. "Loud were they? Must have put a silencing charm on so the people outside couldn't hear. Unlucky you."

"They were VERY loud." I shake my head. "Well, we can't have you sleeping on a tiled floor. Come, there's a spare bed in the room that Fred and George are sharing." Arthur beckons me to follow him.

"Boys?" He knocks on their door. "Yeah?" Voices reply. "Can we come in?" The door swings open and the two identical twins stand on the other side. "What would you like Dear Father?" George, or was it, Fred? I don't know, giggles.

"Can Lola use your spare bed? Please." Arthur shoots them a stern look. "Of course, come in Lola." The twin on the left side of the door grabs my wrist, pulling me in before shutting the door on their dad.

"Thank you." I smile at the boys, pulling my other pillow and duvet on top of the ones that were already on the spare bed. "Not a problem. How come you need the spare bed?"

"My brother and Nymphadora are very loud in bed, let's just leave it at that." I sigh. "Oh damn. Well, you're very welcome to move into this room. Even when we're here, you can still have that bed."

"Thank you," I say again. "Not a problem, now, we'd best be off to sleep. Got planning to do. Don't tell Mum though. Last time she found out, she burnt all the order forms."

"I won't tell her, don't worry." I say, pulling the duvet over my shoulders and closing my eyes.