Love Letters To Meredith

PROLOGUE I was never the woman a man wants to be with. Before, I thought having some extra adipose tissue makes a woman ugly. I was so abashed of how I look that I would often cringed every time I would looked in the mirror. "You're not beautiful. Go lose some extra weight and you will be..." was the words I often told myself. This world's beauty standards are so up high that I would sometimes just hide in my room, locked myself up, and find comfort reading fantasy novels or watching cold case documentaries. I felt like every time I go out ,there will be people staring at me, laughing, and think how much meals I consume a day. I am a fetal macrosomia or a big baby. Born 9 lbs on August 16th, 1993 to an African-American mother and a Senegalese father. My Pàppa or father is a biomedical engineer who moved to Fort Lupton, Colorado when he was just 16 years old. My Amai or mother is public high school teacher. I have two siblings, Imani and Dakarai. I had the best childhood in Fort Lupton until we had to move to Torrance, California for my dad's work. It was a lot of change to grasped but thankfully, my family and I were able to adapt. I went to private schools and even went to my dream university, UC Berkeley. Now, I am living my best life, with my dream job, and my three cats. I am no longer that kid who is afraid to be judged based on how I look and how I weigh. I have gained confidence all throughout the years and realized that my extra fats make me special and that I should not change who I am to please others and fit in their standards. I love me for me. I love my thickness. I love my color. I embrace who I am.