Love notes by a black girl

I get angry and lonely too

I’m convinced I have anger issues.. in fact I think I do. I don’t let people in and I don’t really express my feelings, it always ends up in a battle or a war and trust I always win. But maybe that’s because I’m passionate about certain topics and it’s difficult for me to be completely vulnerable. I don’t like to be vulnerable, I need the wall to be up to a certain extent so I feel safe, you can never feel more safe than you are with yourself. If you can then sis or sir, you are definitely to reliant and dependent on other people, sometimes being one with yourself brings more balance to your life.

Rather than constantly trying to please someone by making sure your being the best friend or the best partner for them. What about you? I’m trying to hit a spot here cause a lot of men don’t even know where it is but let’s not get into that. That can wait until later on in the book or maybe the continuation of this one who knows. I’ll see how I feel.

Anyway back to what I was saying, trying to make yourself into someone else’s perfect image of how they see you, is not going to make you happy. Maybe for a short time but then you start to rebel and saying f**k this, this person or situation is making me sarffft. Yes sarrfftt.

It’s just as bad as trying to make someone into something their not. Yes you can push them to want to do better, but is it better for them or is it benefiting you? Because let’s face it girls if he is the way he is how you “trained” him or “made” him to be when he’s around you. What the hell do you think he gets up to when he’s not around you ? Can you really live someone who has a double life, who is constantly trying to please you. Loves you one minute but then despises you the next ? Ahh nah I don’t think so.

For me he’ll lose his legs. Better yet I’m smart I’ll clock the little nice guy act, trust me when I say sometimes when something is too good to be true, mmm 9 times out of 10 it probably is.

Just saying