Call me, ma'am, Mr. Chief of Police

Nishiyo We were at a bar, and Shinho, "my friend," accidentally touched a random girl's bum while the girl is dancing wildly. If you've been to a bar before, you'll understand what I mean because people on the floor sometimes go wild and don't think if they're bumping other people. My friend had already apologized, but the girl began to make a scene. What the f**k? Well... At some point, I understood the girl because, maybe? She feels harassed or violated. But really? Does she really need to call her boyfriend and make a scene? Kahit na aksidente lang 'yun? Shinho and I had been friends since college. Sabay din kaming pumasok sa PNPA kaya ipupusta ko ang 'tsapa' ko na hindi talaga sinasadya ng kaibigan ko 'yon. I don't know how many times Shinho tried to clarify the situation to the man, but he never even made an attempt to acknowledge what my friend was saying and just kept talking angrily. The DJ had already stopped playing music, and the bouncer had already arrived, but they were no use because they just stood like a pole and were not doing anything. Things were getting really messy. Dang, this isn't good. "See, Man. I was trying to get to my friend, and in order to do that, I needed to walk on the dance floor, and like what I'm trying to tell you, I didn't mean it! My hand just happened to brush past your girl's butt. I'm very sorry for what happened, but it's an accident." Mahinahon niyang paliwanag pero mabilis akong napatayo nang sinuntok siya nung lalaki. "You think I'll believe in your lies? Sinadya mo 'yon kaya aminin mo nalang!" I watched as Shin wiped the blood that came out of his nose. Tssk! I looked at the girl, and I saw her smirking while looking at Shin. D'mn! Attention seeker... I clicked my tongue and started to make my way in the crowd when, suddenly... "Bakit ba pinapalaki niyo pa 'yung gulo?" We heard a slurred voice coming from a very drunk woman. Paano ko nasabi na lasing na lasing na siya? Well, it's pretty easy because her skin can be compared with Snow White's. Kitang-kita ang pagkapula sa maputi niyang balat. She tried to walk in the middle of the dance floor while stumbling and slurring incoherent words. Nakaabang kaming lahat sa kung anong gagawin niya, kaya nakatututok ng maigi ang mga mata namin sa kaniya. Even the man who kept on shouting earlier stopped just to wait to see what she was going to do. Oh well, she came to a halt in front of him and repeatedly pointed her well-manicured index finger in his chest. "He... he already explained his side, right? And... and come on! You're in the bar, not in the church, so don't be mad when people accidently touch 'your girl'. Pwede... niyo namang pag-usapan ng maayos. Oh-wait, ikaw lang pala 'yong 'di maayos kausap kasi ang ingay mo! Alam mo bang nagmoment ako kanina?" I look at her in complete amusement. Napatingin kaming lahat doon sa girlfriend nung lalaki ng bigla itong nagsalita. "I can't just let these pass! Conservative akong tao pati na rin ang pamilya ko kaya hindi ako papayag!" She even wiped her imaginary tears. Wow, should I clap? "Kaya pala halos lumabas na 'yung boobs mo-teh?" I bit the side of my cheeks to stop myself from laughing. Pero hindi nakapag-pigil 'yong iba dahil parang naging payaso 'yung isang babae sa lakas ng tawa nila. She even covered her breasts and tried to pull her dress upward, but she's too late because everyone is already laughing at her ridiculousness. Mukang nahiya naman yung kaibigan nung babae, kaya hinatak nalang sila palabas ng bar. Well, can I say 'shame on her? ' - Ghenich Walang hiyang Lark na yun?! Sinayang niya yung apat na taon namin para lang makipagbalikan dun sa first love niya na iniwan siya dito sa pilipinas para mag migrate sa ibang bansa?! Napainom ako sa wine na iniinom ko. Walang hiya! Edi magsama sila! First love-first love! Iiwan lang ulit siya non. . . Tssk! What did he even see in that girl? Huh? Everyone keeps saying that I'm the full package, so why did he do that? I finish the wine in one more gulp and put more wine in the wine glass. I need to drink more to forget these nights! Tignan mo Lark-na walang taste! Bukas na bukas ay kakalimutan na kita. Who you ka na sakin bukas! Like, for example... "Hey!" I called the bartender. "Yes, Ma'am. You need something?" Aba magalang. Nice, nice... "Who you?!" Napakurap-kurap pa siya ng ilang beses. Sasabihin ko na sana na ginamit ko lang siya sa demonstration ko kaso nabaling yung atensiyon ko dun sa gitna nung may narinig ako na kumosyon. I pout my lips when the DJ stops the music. Aw, they're ruining my drama! Broken din ba sila?! "Ow, fvck you, Man, how dare you touch my girl like that, huh?" Hala... nalunok 'ata niya yung speaker kaya nawalan ng tugtog! Poor Dj... "Look, man, I'm sorry, but I think we're having a misunderstanding here... like what I tried to explain to you earlier. My hand just brushed your girl's bum'. I did not mean to do it, which is why I immediately apologized!" In fairness, may point si kuya. "Hindi sinasadya o sinadya?" The man shouted and took a step. Hala! Napainom ako sa mismong bote dahil parang nagiging intense na yung sagutan. Nagpaliwanag pa yung sinasabing nanghipo, kahit na parang hindi naman nakikinig yung isa. What the fudge?! Why isn't anyone attempting to get in between? I squinted my eyes, and my forehead creased when I saw the bouncers. Bakit nakatayo lang yung mga yun, ha? Hindi ba sila pinapasahod dito, kaya wala silang ginagawa? Kumuha pa ako ng bote ng vodka dahil naubos ko na yung wine. I open it quickly and take a sip. Wow, it's much better than wine! 'More poisonous, much better', sabi nga ng Tatay kung adik sa champagne. . . Sinandal ko yung mga braso ko sa railings at tsaka tumingin ulit sa harapan. Ano ba yan, hindi pa rin ba sila tapos jan? Hala bakit naging apat na silang nag-aaway diyan?! I took a big gulp from the bottle and placed it on the counter. I watch the fight in front of me for, I don't fudging know, how long until my eyes widen and my lips form into an O shape. The protective boyfriend threw a punch. Halaka dumugo. . . Kinuha ko yung bote at tsaka tinungga, pero napakunot yung noo ko ng walang lumabas. Inalog ko pa yung bote, pero wala na talagang laman. I glare at the man by my side and point my index finger at him. "How dare you steal my vodka?" I watch as his eyes widen. Halatang guilty si Kuya! Kainis mga lalaki talaga! "I didn't steal anything, Miss!" He said. Na may kasama pang pag-kumpas ng kamay at iling. Aba at lolokohin pako. Anong tingin niya sa 'kin uto-uto?! "Tsk, tsk! Liar. Here, get these and pay for it." I got down from the stool while shaking my head. Ano yun iinom-inom siya tapos hindi niya babayaran? The nerve?! "What the-?! Hey, Miss, I swear! I didn't drink these-" I tuned him out because I knew that he was lying. Wala na talagang honest na lalaki ngayon! My curiosity is killing me. That's why I walk my way to get in the middle, but I can't get there because the floor is moving. Wow. High-tech ba tong bar na napuntahan ko? Huminto muna ako saglit at tsaka naglakad ulit kaso nabibingi na ako dun sa isang lalaki kaya sinigawan ko rin siya. "Bakit ba. . .pinapalaki niyo pa yung gulo?" At tsaka bakit pa ayaw tumigil nung paggalaw nung sahig? Nevermind that, Ghenich. Ang importante ay mapatahimik mo yung maingay na lalaki. I stop right in front of him and point my index finger right in front of his chest, repeatedly. "He... he already explained his side, right? And... and come on! You're in the bar, not in the church, so don't be mad when people accidently... touch your girl'. Pwede... niyo namang pag-usapan ng maayos. Oh-wait, ikaw lang pala yung 'di maayos kausap kasi ang ang ingay mo! Alam mo bang nagmoment ako kanina?" I said. Speech pa 'ata yung nagawa ko... "I can't just let these pass! Conservative akong tao pati na rin ang pamilya ko kaya hindi ako papayag!" Huh? Sino yung nagsalita? I turn to my right or left. Ah, basta! I squint my eyes and look at the girl. Oh, is she my girlfriend? Conservative? I blink my eyes repeatedly. Kaso bakit nakikita ko pa rin yung boobs niya na parang lalabas na sa damit niya. Tsaka yung panty niya. . . Halaka kita ko na! "Kaya pala halos lumabas na yung boobs mo-teh?" I whispered to myself. Napailing nalang ako at lumabas na ng club. I opened my phone and booked a taxi. I looked at my feet and giggled because my heels were so cute. I take a picture of it and look at it in my gallery to see if the quality of the picture is good. Napatango-tango naman ako dahil maganda naman. Kaso bakit apat yung paa ko dun? Iche-check ko pa sana ulit kaso may biglang pumara sa harap ko. Wow, ang bilis naman ng Taxi. I immediately opened the passenger seat and told him my address. "Huh?" I massage my head as I repeat what I said. Ano ba yan ang bingi naman ni Kuya? "Miss? What are you saying?" Gosh, my head is pounding.Ba't ba ang dami niyang tanong?! Niyugyog niya pa ako, pero hindi na ako naka-sagot dahil bigla nalang nagdilim yung paningin ko...