Drunk on Emotions

Chapter Two - Hope

FEAR...

Despite feeling safe these past few months, I think I still need to snap to my reality. I have no family here. I need to go back to my hometown. I need to face my fears to go to my sisters. I don't know what the future holds, but the thing that I am sure of is I need to leave this place.

But leaving seems difficult.

I kept staring at the window. Outside, I can see the clear blue skies and the song playing on the radio. Mrs. Smith bought it months ago so that I have some entertainment while being here. It's been three months since that happened and every time I remember it, my tears flow automatically. I think it caused me trauma that will forever haunt me. No one on the staff knew about what happened nor Mrs. Smith. I don't know, we've been talking about other stuff, yet I couldn't tell them what happened before the accident.

I heard the door open, so I immediately wiped my tears. Mrs. Smith's smile faded when she looked at me. Now, I can look at her closely, I realize that she's indeed in her 50s. Her graying hair is neatly styled or tied back. Her face shows some wrinkles, especially around her eyes. I look down when she sits beside me on my bed.

"Is there a problem? You're going to be discharged tomorrow," she whispered.

I didn't talk. I just shook my head as a response to her. She sighed and hugged me sideways.

"You know you can count on me, right?"

My eyes are now starting to water.

"Mija, I know you don't want to talk about that night because I've noticed you avoid it whenever we discuss it. However..." She took my hand and caressed my cheek, "... you can tell me."

"I'm sorry," I said as tears streamed down my face. "My parents both died in an accident, and my siblings are still young and living with my parents' friend in Davao. I came to Cebu to study because my uncle asked me to, but..."

I paused, my throat tightening with emotion. "It turns out that my uncle has been lusting after me instead of helping me with my education. I've caught him entering my room and even smelling my clothes. Sometimes, I'll discover my undergarments missing, and I know it's because of him. B-Because...I saw him. I...saw him."

As the emotions overwhelmed me, I could no longer control the tears and finally gave in to them, letting them flow freely down my cheeks as I broke down into uncontrollable sobs.

I couldn't finish what I had to say because of fear and hatred. Mrs. Heidy quickly squeezed my hand and immediately hugged me more.

"H-He tried to...rape me too. And that night...he almost did..."

Tears streamed down my face as I buried my head on her shoulder, my body trembling with fear and confusion. My hand involuntarily clenched into a tight fist as I looked around, desperately searching for a way out of the overwhelming situation.

"I was so s...scared..." I whispered. My heart hurt so badly.

"I don't want you to be alone, Zee. You have no one to go home to. Let me give you a home," she whispered.

My eyes widened in fear as I recalled my uncle's previous words. His words were sweet, but there was always a price, and I didn't want to find myself in that situation again.

"I-I don't want..." I nervously said.

I distanced myself from her too, creating some space between us. She seemed to sense the change and let out a deep sigh. In response, she reached out and clasped my hand tightly with hers.

"I understand that you are scared to trust people again. But, I'm not a bad person, mija. I'm a retired doctor from this hospital. I'm all alone at home because I don't have a husband anymore, and my children are in another country."

I knew she was kind, and in my almost three months here, I could see that. However, I wasn't sure if I was ready to trust again.

"No... I'll look for a job when I get better. I'll stay away from this place," I said.

She didn't reply but just stared at me. Her gaze shifted to the scars on my face and those on my body.

"What if your uncle sees you again? I cannot fathom the circumstances, mija..."

I know, she's right. What if I'll see my uncle?

" And...I don't know why, but I feel the need to help you, Mija," she finally said, squeezing and caressing my hand. "And... knowing your situation makes me want to help you more..."

As I heard her utter those words, my heart sank and I was taken aback. I gazed up at her with a mixture of shock and sadness, and before I knew it, tears began to trickle down my face...once again.

"I know you're going through a tough time, but I want to help you get back on your feet," she continued. "Let me be your mother, Zee."

I couldn't hold back my tears anymore. I cried and immediately hugged my knee. She guided my head to her stomach, and I leaned against her.

"I hope you'll trust me, mija. I will never lose your trust," she said.

I nodded. "Okay, Mrs. Smith..."

Now, there is no doubt. She smiled and kissed my head.

She frowned a bit and eventually smiled at me. "Mama please, Zee."

Something touched my heart, and tears started rolling down my cheeks. I quickly wiped them away and smiled back at her.

"O-Okay... Mama," I whispered. It's only been in the past few years that I've been able to call someone that again.

A white car driven by a man named Caloy took Mama and me from the hospital to her house, which is quite far from the city, about one and a half hours away. When we arrived, I was surprised to see that their whole house was big, with white walls, sliding glass windows, and a swimming pool on the side. The hall was also large and had a wide staircase in the middle.

We were warmly welcomed by a woman who greeted us with a smile. Her name was Rita, and she was a slender woman with brown skin and neatly pinned hair.

"Rita, did you prepare Zee's room?"

"Yes, ma'am," Rita replied.

She glanced at me, and I realized that we were maybe just the same age. Rita is slender, with brown skin and straight hair that is neatly pinned to the side.

"Zee, come with Rita to your room and get ready. I am still asking Maria to buy some other things for you."

Rita and I were making our way up the stairs when she told me something surprising - she knew what had happened to me in the accident.

"Being in a hospital for such a long time must be so traumatic. But, don't worry, Madam is very kind to everyone, even to us. She is currently sponsoring Maria and me to attend school."

My eyes widened as I looked at her. I was amazed by the attitude that Mrs. Smith showed to them.

"We are not interested in going to college because we don't have the means, but Madam has already scheduled us to take an exam at a university in the city. We are Madam's former steward's grandchildren, and since Lola, our grandmother, passed away, Madam has taken care of us. We have grown up here, and she treats us like her own children."

I smiled at her, thinking that maybe being here was a good option and a good chance for me. Rita opened the door to my room, revealing a simple design with white walls, a bed in the middle, a table on the side, and two more doors. I am certain that one of the doors leads to the bathroom, but I am still trying to figure out what the other one is for.

I sat on the soft bed and took in my surroundings. The whole place seemed vast, almost like my uncle's house. It was just one big room.

"Mrs. Smith has children, right? Where are they?" I asked Rita.

"They're in Canada. One is named Harrison, and the other is Dylan. They have a pharmaceutical company in Canada which was managed by the two sons,"" she replied.

I nodded and looked at Rita, grateful for her company.

"Just rest here for now, Zee. It's nice to meet you," she said with a smile before leaving the room.

I looked around again and realized how unpredictable life can be. It's scary to think about what might happen, but sometimes unexpected changes can be for the better. I was given hope. To have a better life. Maybe. I hope so.