You are Enough

Chapter 10

I am in a really good mood today when I walked into the doctor's office for my appointment. I signed in and waited my turn. I'm a people watcher, not in a creepy way. I just like to watch how people interact with each other. There are so many people here for their mental health. Why aren't we talking more about this? "Kathleen Prescott?" Here. We head back where my vitals are taken and then I go into the psychiatrist's office where I meet Dr. Kavangh. Hello Kathleen, how are you feeling today? Hey doc, you can call me Kat, I'm doing okay, I told her. Well, what we are going to do today is, I will ask you a series of questions and I want you to answer them as honestly as you can, okay? Yes ma'am. After what seemed like a solid thirty minutes of nonstop questioning, we are done. "Well Kat, I am going to diagnose you with bipolar 1, borderline personality disorder, PTSD, anxiety and a little bit of paranoia. I am going to put you on a few different meds to help. I also want you to get your thyroid tested because that can cause a hormonal imbalance which doesn't help with your mental health. You are very strong for what you have gone through and what you continue to go through. You are almost twenty-three and you have lived a life that no other can compare to. I understand that you don't like asking for help but you have got to or I fear what will happen. Your babies need you to be as healthy as possible or they won't be healthy and taken care of. You also have to stop trying to take care of everyone else before yourself. Make sure you set up boundaries as well. These will help with your mental health and physical health. I also want you to read a few books about these mental illnesses and jounral. They will help you to understand more and the journaling will help you to get out all the negative feelings. It will help you out along with the meds.We will work together and see if we can get you on more stable ground. Okay sounds good to me, I told her. Okay, well, I want to see you back here in two months to check your progress and see if the meds are helping or if we need to try something else. On my way out, I made my next appointment to see her in two months and make my way home. Upon arriving home, I feed the animals and mow the lawn. I figured I would help when I could outside since George and mom work so much. I head in to clean and shower, then to pick up the kids from daycare. Once I return home from picking the kids up, I start supper. Corey and Charolette are upstairs doing their homework but they will probably eat what I cook. Now just to figure out what to cook is the question. After their homework, Corey and Charolette come down and watch cartoons with the kids, all while making them giggle and laugh. Though Harper can't hear, she loves watching the cartoons.

After supper, I sat down with everyone and finalized the details of the kid's birthday which was coming up. Everyone has a job to do so I'm not so stressed out and can enjoy my babies. I decided to take Dr. Kavangh's advice and ask for help more often. Mom about fainted when I asked for help and George, well he just knew I needed help. Did you invite your dad and his family? I did, but they never got back to me in regards to them coming or not. So we shall see. I tried to call again today to see if they were and he didn't answer. It'll be okay even if they don't come to the party. You see, our dad and us don't have the greatest relationship due to how he treated us growing up. I feel myself slipping into a depression cycle. No Kat, you can't do that. You can't let yourself slip. I get up and say, okay well now that that is all settled, I need to get the kids in the bath and into bed or they will make it hard to get up in the morning. After bathing, reading them two stories, since there are two of them, I get them tucked nicely in their beds and head downstairs. The kids go to bed at eight pm to ensure they receive the correct amount of sleep. How am I going to live on my own with two kids and working two jobs? As I am lost in thought, Toxic plays on my phone. Ugh, what does he want now? Hello, this is Kat. How can I help you? Cut the crap Kathleen, I want to talk to my kids. Wait, what? Why I ask him? Because they are my kids. Umm well they are already in bed for the night. Why are they already in bed? It's only eight pm? I don't have to answer that. You have said for how long that they weren't your kids, yet now all of a sudden they are? What gives Dylan? If you don't have to answer my questions, I'm not answering yours. That is real mature Dylan. I just want to know why, all of a sudden, they are your kids when you have been saying I cheated on you and that they aren't yours. Dylan, let me talk to her. Maybe I can help. Who the hell is this chick? Hi Kathleen, my name is Sabrina. How are you doing? Who are you and why are you trying to talk to me? I am dating Dylan and wanted to know why you won't let him speak to his kids, she stated. You are joking, right? No, this isn't a joke at all. Well, how about you stay in your lane? He has been saying since day one that these kids aren't his and that I cheated on him. Well, we all know that you did, because there isn't anyone deaf in his family. Okay, this is done. Have a good night. The audacity of these two I can't even think straight. What the hell has he been telling this woman? I should have known him wanting to talk to the kids was to make him look good and me to look like I'm keeping the kids away from him. What does he think he's playing at?