Lost Tribrid

Life can be a bit of a mystery, sometimes one that will never be solved. No matter how difficult it gets, I never stopped questioning why my life had turned out as it had. Even after tragedy struck and things went south. I just kept on going, doing my best to push forward. Knowing that it wasn’t going to change. No matter how much I kept moving, trying to wear a smile on my face throughout the moments of the day. I feel lost and confused, unable to remember anything before this past year of my life. I have tried everything that’s within my access. To remember anything before that dreadful day when I had awoke. Laying in a bed that I didn’t know within a house, I didn’t feel comfortable calling home. Words ringing through my mind, bouncing off the walls. I was lawyer Skylar Jones, considered one of the best divorce attorneys in all of Ohio. The other being Jeremy Jones, the man my conscious screamed to be my husband. However, the moment the thought of him as my husband rang out. My entire body shivered in fear but I just couldn’t, place what was happening. It hadn’t taken long for him to know I was awake. As though he could sense a shift in my breathing or even the slightest movement I made on the bed. Tragically, in a mere weeks, that was when the shift happened, and I knew why I feared his name so greatly. Jeremy has never been shy about exactly how he feels about having our lives tied together. I have lived in this fear-shaken hell for a year, filled with emotional and physical abuse. Every day was an exercise in survival, in submission to what felt like an insurmountable force. Leaving me too scared to ask for help or make the choice to leave. Jeremy allowed me to go to work and back to the house. My job wasn’t lavish or exciting by any means. I worked at an exceedingly small firm within this giant city of Cleveland. Unsure of how anyone could consider me one of the best, for shouldn’t I work somewhere more pristine? Knowing the exact answer to my unspoken question. Jeremy knew what he was doing when he made all the decisions. Within this nightmare the only light is Jeremy confessing how disgusted he is by me every day. "You are a worthless waste of a being. How I was the one to get stuck with you is beyond me. You are lucky I have to keep you alive, you would be dead if it were up to me", Jeremy screamed as his fist collided with my face. While I know that should make me feel horrible. Break down my spirit, as I have clients who come to see me for these very same problems. They don’t suffer the abuse that I have to endure. They don’t have to sleep in a cold basement all alone. The concrete floor cold and hard, as I lay on a torn blanket and a torn blanket to cover up with. All my clothes and belongings are in Jeremy’s closet. He picks out my clothes daily and threatens me before leaving for work. Graphicly describes the horrific things he will do to me if I dare speak a word out of line. Today was one of the many times he has hit me so hard, losing all control of his actions. Leaving lacerations and bruises in places, I wouldn’t be able to cover with clothing. Now I stare at an obnoxiously long list of chorus Jeremy demanded to be completed. “My home will sparkle before I walk through this door, or I swear. Tonight will be the night I finally get to watch the life drain from your eyes!” Jeremy spit as he roughly gripped my face. Though Jeremy was never in the house, so I can’t see why he could possibly care if it sparkled or not. Cameras lined corners in every room, making certain there was no means of escape. Not that I knew anyone that would help. Deciding to take one moment for the day to just feel a sense of peace. I sunk further and further into the chair, thinking of every hurtful word Jeremy could spew. Every accusation he could create to place even just a sliver to defend his actions. To tear away a little bit more of my already fragmenting identity. I truly feel worthless, as though no one in the world could possibly want me when I myself didn’t. Dropping my head into my hands, trying to will away the tears. If I allowed them to fall, that would be it. He would win! I would be broken past the point of no return. “Maybe the time has come, this way my death would be on my terms,” I whispered to myself. “Shh, you should never speak such a despicable thing.” I whipped my head around looking for the owner of that voice. I wanted to be terrified that someone I didn’t know had entered the house. But there was no one in the room. Slowly rising to confirm the house was indeed empty. Coming back into the living room realizing I must have imagined the voice. Knowing my subconscious spoke words to boost me from the black hole that was consuming my soul. “Skylar, get your s**t together,” I shouted before going back to my duties. All consumed with all the tasks, focusing on not burning his dinner. Or hell this horrific house that I have that has become my prison. That’s when Jeremy’s loud and domineering tone filled the room. My heart instantly sinking, sweat beading my forehead under the aggressive and cutting tone. “What the f**k is the horrendous smell?” Jeremy shouted. I froze the moment his form filled the doorway to the kitchen, “it’s the dinner you requested before you left this morning.” A growl so loud erupted from his mouth I had to take a step back. Knowing exactly what would follow. Instinctively continuing to step backward as Jeremy stood there with a smirk on his face. “Please, I did as you asked. I beg you.” Jeremy immediately cut me off, “don’t you dare beg me unless you intend to do so from your knees.” My mouth frozen open, jaw hung down unsure of what he had just uttered. Jeremy has never said such a thing to me before. Never feeling more afraid than I did right this second.            Jeremy magically hasn’t been able to break my spirit due to the absence of s****l abuse. A person can endure many things in their lives, but we all truly have a line. If you cut or break that line, then there is no possibility of returning. The moment he caresses my skin, the darkness will surely suck me into the abyss. Not realizing, my back hit a wall, leaving me cornered under his brutalizing gaze. “Don’t flatter yourself, I would rather f**k a shark than you!” Jeremy continued to stalk toward me wearing his devious smirk. Flinching the moment, Jeremy raised his hand, surprised when he didn’t strike. A thought I prayed for had never crossed my mind. As my head quickly whipped to the side, pain shot through my head. Screaming as I dropped to my knees and raised a hand to my cheek. Unable to touch my skin as searing pain pulsed. Jeremy had hit me with a frying pan that was still cooking on the stove. How f*****g stupid could I be! To allow myself to be backed into the stove that was lined with multiple scorching pans. “Out of all our time together you should know by now that I don’t give a flying f**k that you have a job. I am untouchable something you should have learned by now,” that smirk crossed his face again. “Get up!” Jeremy shouted. Chills slid along my body as Jeremy painfully pulled me by my elbow toward the basement door. Knowing he hadn’t walked me to the basement since the first time, he showed me my permanent sleeping arrangements.            Thoughts bouncing along the walls of my mind. Not daring to imagine what was to come. Praying he would be true to his word in having no interest, as I have heard all this time. I couldn’t look at him, leaving my head bowed to stare at my feet. More pain hit me as my knees buckled and I fell to the floor. Jeremy landed a blow to my ribs, leaving me breathless. Feeling the now cracked ribs move with every staggered breath I took. “Please,” was all I could gasp out. Knowing it was stupid and that I shouldn’t beg. However, if he struck my ribs again they would puncture my lungs. Not even having a chance to move, my body was flying down the stairs. Colliding with each step as I bounded to the bottom. A groan escaped my lips as my body lay limp on the cold floor. I won’t make it to my corner of the basement tonight. His villainous voice was shouting at the top, but I couldn’t hear him. Without control, that one tear finally slipped down my cheek and I happily left death come to claim my soul.