Through The Dark

5.

Mackenzie

So much time had passed. So fleetingly, that it was so hard to think that I would be going off to New York the next day. I was filled with mixed feelings. I was excited at the the thought of going to university to major in what I'd always wanted to look into. I always thought Jeannie Mai was the perfect role model for me, till I saw this woman up on CNN reporting the news.

I was even more excited about the thought of not having to be alone. I was more than glad to have Tanner by my side.

But then, I was worried about mom. She had been crying a lot these days and I was scared it might affect her. Dad did and said all he could to calm her down, but she wouldn't even pay attention to him.

I was a little nervous and a part of me desperately wanted to remain here in Los Angeles which had been my home for most of my life. I'd never been to New York, but I knew it was a place where everything happened. It was such a busy city and I wasn't sure how to cope and adapt to the new environment, and now, I wished I followed dad at least once out of the many times he'd suggested that I went with him to New York for short vacations, just so I could have an exact idea of what the city was like.

I sat in my bed, my eyes wandering around the room. It wasn't yet half-empty as I was doing a lazy job packing my things, so, being the professional I was in procastinating, I decided to complete my packing later in the day. I had plans with Ryan and Bambi to meet at our spot. It was the same spot Tanner and I met. It was our place for closure. The place we all went to have time to ourselves. A serene place.

I quickly made a mental note to text Tanner so we could meet there as well.

I pushed myself off my bed, wearing my flip-flops and I walked into the kitchen where I met dad brewing coffee.

"Someone's started warming up to coffee, I see," I teased as I walked to the cupboard to grab a mug.

"I just feel like I need it," he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

How he maintained such a fine face, I didn't know, but I couldn't help but notice the strands of grey hair growing by the sides of his hair.

"We all need it," I nodded, walking to where he stood, "Can you brew for two, please?"

"Sure, sunshine."

We moved around the kitchen in silence and I couldn't help but notice the weary look in his eyes.

"Is everything okay, dad?" I asked him as we finally sat by the island table with our mugs steaming with black coffee.

He opened his mouth to say something, then he closed it, taking a quick sip of his coffee before finally saying, "Are... are you sure about this? I mean, New York. Do you really want to go?"

I looked at dad in surprise, "What? Yes, dad. I do want to g, it's gonna be a new environment for me, but I'm pretty sure I can handle it," I told him softly.

"I know you can handle it. It's just your mom," he said worriedly and I let out a breath, "Where's she?" I asked.

"In the room."

"I don't get it. How do I explain to her that I'm not dying. I'm just going to university and I wouldn't even be there forever."

"You should tell her that. She's been upset since she woke up and I've been trying to talk to her," he ran a hand down his face.

"I'll talk to her," I nodded.

"Please do."

I wouldn't pretend like I didn't know why mom was crying so much. It just hurt to see that she was crying a lot. She had always held me so close to her. Not just because I was her only child, but because at some point, she'd considered me her other half. I was going to miss her as well... a whole lot.

"I'll miss you so much, sunshine," I heard dad say, adding a little cream to his coffee.

"I'll miss you too, dad." I smiled at him.

"I'm still sorry, you know."

"For?" I asked, an eyebrow raised at him.

"Being such a coward? Leaving? For some reason, it just sucks that I missed some parts of your life. I wish I watched you grow entirely," he said, water in his eyes.

"Oh, dad," I said in a quiet voice, "It's fine. You apologised and admitted you were wrong. That alone was enough. If you ask me, you're doing a great job, trying to make sure we're happy. And you know the good thing? I'm happy. Mom's happy. What matters is you're here and that's okay for me."

"I love you so much, sunshine," he said, a smile playing in his lips.

"Me too," I smiled, "I love you too, dad."

"Just promise that when you get there, you won't suddenly forget us."

"I would never!" I said in shock.

"I'm sure you wouldn't, but you know those kids who go off to college and never call home."

"Yeah, yeah. I understand," I nodded. "I'll make sure to call."

"Good. We'll be calling too," he said in satisfaction. "So, what are your plans for today?"

I rubbed my lips together, "Well, I'm meeting up with Ryan and Bambi, and Tanner, I think."

"You and Tanner can't seem to get enough of each other," dad said, amused.

"Dad!" I flushed.

"It's true. I mean, you want to meet with him when tomorrow you'll be flying to the same place."

I playfully rolled my eyes, a smile on my face.

"My baby's so grown. Not only is she going to university, she's also been shot by Cupid—"

I burst into laughter, "Wait. Cupid is that baby thing holding a bow and arrow, right?"

"Yeah, and that's what shot you," he rolled his eyes.

"It was nice talking to you, father," I chuckled, getting up before I got lectures on not 'doing it'. "I need to hit the bathroom and head out."

"Alright, sunshine," he nodded and I gulped down all the coffee left in my mug before dropping it into the sink.

*

The warm water from the shower ran down my body, making my muscles relax and leaving me refreshed. My mind wandered to the events of the past few days. My work was done at the diner and so, I did all I could to make sure I was always by mom's side, watching her favorite TV shows with her and bingeing on a lot of ice cream and helping her as much as I could.

The day I went shopping for the things I would need in school was a major highlight. Dad and mom insisted they went with me to shop. It was a good feeling— having my parents beside me, recommending things they felt I could get and just making shopping fun. The day wasn't just spent on shopping, we'd gone out for lunch, and not just the kind of lunch where we sat quiet while we ate. It was the kind which had mom, dad and I talking and laughing our eyes out as we reminisced on a lot of things. A lunch where we all had it in mind that we were one, big family. That night, we'd also had lots of chicken and ice cream, I was starting to worry about my weight.

Aside from all the happiness with my family, there was a lot of emotion in the course of these few days. I never could explain the waves of emotion that ran through me while I was in Tanner's house. I hadn't seen any bond between siblings as strong as the one between Tanner and Renée.

I was at Tanner's house the day after he broke the news to Renée about her having a nanny. She had refused to talk to Tanner, even when he did all he could to engage her in conversations. It didn't even make things better that the nanny— Tori Daniels, appeared on the footsteps of the house later that day. Tori was a pretty lady with a brown, wavy shoulder length hair. Her skin was a toned caramel complexion and she carried helself with confidence.

When Tanner introduced Renée to her, Renée's eyes welled immediately she heard the word 'nanny' and she ran up to her room, not acknowledging the young woman's presence. I'd simply apologised to the lady, going after Renée while tanner stayed back to talk to Tori, a slight scowl on his face.

It had taken almost an hour to calm Renée down and go over many reasons why it was just logical that she stayed back in LA. I was almost forced to make a thousand promises to her, but I didn't want to get the little girl's hopes high. It just took a lot of reassurance, kind and sweet words and she calmed down. We hugged for a long time before we finally we went back downstairs.

Tanner was seated across Tori, not smiling, and I was reminded that he wasn't exactly comfortable with the nanny thing. The nanny sat upright, though, a little smile on her face as she talked about her qualifications. I really hoped she didn't feel intimidated by the fact that she was older that Tanner and I, but it didn't appear that way. She composed herself, nodding when she had to and talking when she had to.

The rules tanner set for her were sensible. What made me laugh, though, was the seriousness in his voice and the look on his face. Tanner made her understand that his parents were just busy people, nothing more. He told her about Renée's school, the opening and closing time, special weekdays, her homework and other things she needed to know. He gave the list of things Renée had to to eat and warned her sternly about not giving Renée the things she was allergic to. He told her about Renée's English, and how she shouldn't fail to correct her when she had to.

He warned her seriously against hitting Renée and also warned her against the use of insultive or swear words around her. It was cute and amazing how Tanner wanted Renée to be brought up in that manner. Tanner swore a s**t ton, but he was so composed and cautious around Renée, and was making sure the nanny did so as well.

Tanner wasn't exactly nice to Tori on the first day and I'd scolded him mildly about it, making him understand that if he wasn't nice to her, then there'll be no way Renée would see a reason to be nice to her, so after that day, he began to warm up to her. She had a room down stairs and the fact that his parents hadn't been home made it easier for us to watch the nanny and so far, she was doing good. She was polite, friendly and hardworking. I could only hope that it wasn't all an act.

I let out a breath at the thought of Tanner, Renée and the new nanny, Tori, and as I grabbed my shampoo, I also remembered the time Tanner took Renée and I out to dinner, saying his 'favorite girls needed to have fun'. He literally spoiled us that night and I smiled at the memory.

I couldn't help but marvel at the amount of the time I'd spent in the bathroom and finally, when I sat to blow dry my hair, I thought of Bambi and Ryan. We hung out twice and as usual, it was just me with my silly best friends who cracked me up everytime.

I got into my clothes after trying to look for something extra comfortable to wear. I grabbed a small sling bag and walked to the living room, ready to call to my parents that I'll be back soon, but I met dad seated, his eyes on his phone.

"Dad," I called.

"God, sunshine, you're a mermaid!" He said as he looked up at me.

"Why would you say that?" I chuckled.

"You spent an hour in the bathroom!" He laughed.

"You actually kept track of the time?"

"It was hard not to, considering I thought you'd be out in twenty minutes."

"Well, first off, I had to do some thinking, and second, a girl's gotta take her time."

"Girls," dad playfully rolled his eyes.

"What now?" I bent, kissing his forehead. "I've got to head out now. I'll try to be back early."

"Keyword being try, because, I know with Tanner around, you wouldn't have an idea of the time."

I giggled, "I'll be back early to talk to mom," I walked to the door, but before opening it, I called to dad, "But you were right!"