Through The Dark

6

Mackenzie

I caught sight of Ryan's cute, black Rio Optima as he pulled up to the park. I'd arrived at the park about thirty minutes ago and I wondered how on earth I'd arrived so early when my best friends had cars of their own. I always walked to the spot as I didn't have a car. Hell, I didn't even know how to drive.

I remembered to text Tanner and I got out my phone to text him, asking if he could make it to the spot that afternoon.

"Hey there, Doritos!" Ryan grinned widely as he got down from his car, making his way to where I stood.

Ryan was my best friend alongside Bambi. We had known each other for years and we were almost inseparable.

"What?" I raised an eyebrow at him, trying to think of a million possible reasons why he would call me a snack.

He smiled, "I promised myself to call you the last thing I ate."

"How does that even make any sense?" I rolled my eyes, a smile on my face. "You're just weird," I finally said.

"You're best friends with a weirdo. That makes you a weirdo," he chuckled as he pulled me into a hug, "Hey Kenzi."

"Hi," I chuckled as well and he planted a sloppy kiss on my forehead as he pulled away.

"Ew," I giggled, wiping my forehead with the back of my hand.

"Great. Bambi isn't here yet," he rolled his eyes, "She literally woke me up, blowing up my phone with texts, telling me not to be late."

"Oh, Bambi," I laughed. "It's good to think she's the late one."

We walked to our spot in that park. It was a secluded place filled with trees and grasses with beautiful flowers. There in the midst of the trees, was a rock. It was a rock big enough for ten, but Ryan, Bambi and I made it just big enough for three.

"Do you want an ice cream? Or a hot dog?" Ryan asked before grinning evilly, "Something we can have just before little Bambi arrives. I've been craving ice cream since I got up this morning. What would you like?"

"An ice cream is fine," I nodded.

"Right, stay here. I'll be right back," he said and I watched as the brother I never had made his way out of the spot.

Ryan was a bag of amazing. He was all in one. He could be a brother, a father, a counsellor, a teacher, a diary... everything. He was the one to overprotect Bambi and I. The punching bag when we were upset. I couldn't have ever asked for a better guy best friend.

Just then, Bambi came in practically running, "Please don't tell me Ryan's here. Tell me he isn't, tell me he isn't," she said, panting.

I laughed, "Clearly you didn't see his car parked by the swings."

"Damn it, he's here," she groaned, sitting beside me. "Where's he?"

Before I could tell her, Ryan came in, two cones of ice cream in his hand, grinning from to ear even as his eyes landed on Bambi.

"Hey, ice cream," Ryan playfully winked at her who rolled her eyes, "Did... did he just call me an ice cream?" Bambi looked at me.

I rolled my eyes too, "He called me Doritos."

"He's weird," Bambi shot him a look.

"And you're weird," Ryan raised an eyebrow at her, a smile playing on his lips. "Thanks a lot for blowing up my damn phone."

Bambi's hands flew to her chest as she pretended to look innocent, "I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"Sure, you don't," he looked at me, "Kenzi, your ice cream," he handed a cone of strawberry flavored ice cream to me.

"Thanks," I smiled at him.

"Where's mine?" Bambi asked, looking directly at Ryan.

"Uh, as you can see, there's only two," he replied in a 'duh' tone.

"So?"

"So, you have nothing, suck it up," Ryan shot.

"Bullshit," she walked up to him and snatched the cone from his hand, swiping her tongue across the ice cream, leaving Ryan looking stunned.

"Bambi!" He said when he could finally speak.

"What? Suck it up," Bambi used his words against him, sticking out her tongue at him.

Ryan only let out a breath then sat by my side on the rock, and we were quiet before Ryan spoke up, "I hate Bambi."

"I love you too," she grinned like a child and Ryan rolled his eyes before looking at me, "Kenzi's off tomorrow."

I let out a breath, "I'm feeling a million things, guys."

"Is mom still crying?" Bambi asked.

"I'm actually so worried about her. I purposely didn't see her before coming out. I probably won't be here," I sighed.

"I also wish you don't have to go," Bambi said. "But again, you've always wanted to school in the big city."

"I'm excited, I'm scared, I'm nervous. To think that I'll be leaving the place I've always called home."

"I think you'll be fine," Ryan said. "It's not like I'm exactly happy you're leaving, but just as Bambi said, you want this and you'll be fine," he finished and Bambi nodded.

"Thanks guys. I'll miss you so much," I smiled, water forming in my eyes but I got the feeling this wasn't the time to cry so I blinked hard to stop them from falling.

"We'll miss you too," Bambi said softly.

"How's Bambi holding up?" I asked and Ryan looked at her. "I mean, about Jesse and stuff."

She sighed, "To be honest, I'm still trying to get over the fact that we aren't going to be together-"

"You told me he said he wanted you guys to try at least, right?" Ryan looked at her and I did as well, asking, "He said that?"

"Yep," she let out another breath. "He did say he wants us to try... but I don't want to try."

"Why?" I queried.

"Because I just prefer now that we aren't going to be together, than have it in mind that we are, then we go to our schools and things become hard for us. I'm not sure I'll be able to handle it. I'll rather go to university with a free mind, instead of having to feeling insecure all the time," she explained.

"I fully understand." I said, nodding.

"I mean, it's better safe than sorry, right?" She looked from me to Ryan.

"Right," I replied and Ryan nodded.

"But I feel better about it, you know," she nodded. "We don't have to be together. Jesse would always be my friend... a real one."

I was so glad she felt better about not actually going to be with Jesse, and I knew it was hard for her— she and Jesse were into each other and everyone knew— but seeing that she had already taken time to think about her sanity and safety was a good thing.

"It's great that you and Ryan get to study in the same university," I said.

"Yeah, and Bambi tries to act like she's depressed about the thought of having to spend another four or five years with me, but deep down, I know she's super excited," Ryan said, smirking.

"I actually am depressed," Bambi said.

"Oh, great then. Thank God I didn't choose that university to end up going to," Ryan said in relief and I, for one, was stunned.

"Wait, wait... what do you mean you didn't choose that university?" Bambi appeared more stunned than I was.

"What does it mean to you?" Ryan looked at her.

"That... you, uh, I-"

"It means I got accepted into another university. It's in Florida. That's the one I'll be attending," Ryan answered.

What. The. Actual. Hell.

I immediately turned to look at Bambi who looked hurt, "You chose to go?! Ryan, you chose to go?! Really?!" Bambi almost screamed, tears welling in her eyes.

"Is... is that water in your eyes?" Ryan burst out laughing.

"Ryan, what is happening?" I asked him even as Bambi's lips quivered.

"It's not true!" Ryan laughed harder and Bambi pushed him off the rock.

I sighed in relief as Bambi said, "Ryan is an idiot."

"What? I just needed to scare you... Not after you indirectly said you didn't like that we would be in the same university," his laughter reduced to chuckles.

"Don't scare me like that again," she flung her arms around Ryan. "I actually am excited at the thought."

"I knew it," he chuckled.

When they pulled away, Bambi asked him, "So, what's up with you?"

"I'm single," Ryan simply answered, causing Bambi and I to laugh

Our best friend was amazingly hot and cute, but he didn't pay attention to the girls who literally drooled over him.

"But, I'm ecstatic. Mom and Brooke's dad are so close these days. It's so great to think that when she's not home, she's at Brooke's, and not, you know, the club. And she likes Brooke a lot."

The smile on Ryan's face was so contagious, Bambi and I were smiling widely now.

Ryan's mother had had a one stand with a man, and while his mom had gotten pregnant, she delivered the baby and asked the man to keep it. The man was Brooke's dad, and Ryan had only found out about his sister the previous year. Brooke's dad was the perfect father figure for Ryan since his own biological dad preferred to drink his life away.

"Really? That's wonderful, Ry!" I clapped my hands in excitement and Bambi did the same. Just then, my phone vibrated, it was a text from Tanner.

~Sure, bubbles. In an hour?~

I smiled, my fingers moving across the screen as I replied.

~Sounds great. I'm already there with Bambi and Ryan, though. An hour is just fine.~

"She's so texting Tanner," I heard Bambi say and through the corner of my eye, I saw Ryan nod.

"He'll be here in an hour," I told them.

"Don't worry, we'll leave you guys to your lovey dovey selves," Ryan said and I chuckled.

The next few minutes were spent on us talking and laughing about random things and just things we'd done in the past generally.

"Speaking of which, I brought my camera, but it's in the car," Ryan got up from the rock, "I'll be right back."

We watched him jog to his car and then jog back.

"It's time for pictures!" Bambi squealed and Ryan was sure to take the picture.

I threw an arm around Bambi, flashing a smile at the camera and Bambi did he same as Ryan took the picture. We took a few more pictures after that; the wide grins, goofy smiles, tight hugs and best friend moments that needed to be captured was enough for us to know that distance wouldn't have anything to do with what we had.

Ryan let out a breath after walking to his camera to turn the timer off. We finally felt satisfied after taking almost a thousand pictures.

"Wow," Bambi chuckled. "That was a lot."

"It was," I nodded, running a hand through my hair.

Ryan put away his camera, sitting back on the rock. "I'll have these gems sent to you guys."

I smiled, and all of a sudden, my lips began to quiver. It was so hard to think and accept that I wouldn't be seeing the two people who I'd considered family after tomorrow.

"You two are coming with me to the airport tomorrow, right?" I asked, my voice shaky.

"Of course," Bambi said the same time Ryan said, "We'll be there."

I nodded, swallowing. "I still can't believe it... after tomorrow-" I choked on a sob.

"Aw, no," Bambi whispered, throwing her arms around me and I knew she was crying too.

"Don't leave me out," Ryan said and next thing, we were in a hug. Our bear hug. I heard Ryan sniff, but I wasn't sure if he was crying.

"You guys are the most amazing people I've ever met. It's crazy how we've been together for years. I'm so glad, and proud to call you two my best friends," I said softly.

"I feel like I'm the luckiest. How can I have such extremely smart and beautiful girls as my best friends?" Ryan said in a low chuckle.

"Now, what do I say?" Bambi cried harder.

"We can choose a day to visit. I mean, driving is gonna take a long time but I guess we could?" Ryan said and Bambi nodded.

"We'll still be here for each other," Bambi said.

"Yes.." I nodded.

We pulled away after what seemed like two minutes later. Bambi and I wiped tears from under our eyes and Ryan watched us, a sad smile on his face. We spent the next few minutes laughing, saying a million 'I love you's' and hugging like we didn't want to let go. We were only laughing when Tanner arrived, a smile on his face.

"Hey, man," Ryan got up from the rock, giving Tanner a brotherly shake. Bambi got up as well and Tanner wrapped his arms around her in a hug.

"How are you doing?" He asked her in a low voice and I knew he was referring to how she was feeling about Jesse.

I liked that he was friends with my best friends. It made me feel comfortable. It wasn't like how it was with Darren, a guy I'd met in high school who Ryan didn't like one bit and Bambi felt indifferent about. Not that I could blame them, Darren literally screwed me over in the end.

While Tanner talked to Bambi, Ryan pulled my cheek, "I'll miss doing that," he said.

"At least, I get a break," I chuckled and soon, Bambi and Tanner made their way to where Ryan and I stood.

"I guess this is the part where we say bye," Ryan said and I smiled at him.

"Bye, Kenzi," Ryan hugged me first, then Bambi came to me as well, hugging me tightly. Ryan gave Tanner a brotherly hug this time and Bambi gave him a hug too and then, she and Ryan were off.

"Did you cry?" Tanner asked, moving closer to me.

"Yep," I let out a breath, sitting back on the rock, "The thought of not seeing them after tomorrow..." My voice trailed off. "Did you see Jesse and Edward yet?" I asked him as he sat beside me.

"Not yet. They're staying the night at my house."

"Oh, that's nice," I looked up at him. "I just wanted us to meet briefly, like, our last time here before we're off to the city that never sleeps."

He chuckled and put an arm around my neck, pulling me closer to him.

"We could have don't some stargazing. But it's just afternoon," he spoke softly in my ear.

"I know, and I'm not even done packing yet."

"At least, you aren't done yet. I haven't even started."

"Really now?" I laughed.

"I swear I plan on making Ed and Jesse do my packing tonight," he said, an evil smile on his face.

"You're unbelievable," I chuckled, admiring how adorable he looked.

"So what's up? How are your parents doing?" He asked me.

I let out a breath, "Dad's fine, but mom, you know what's up. She hasn't stopped crying and she's literally scaring me. I- I feel wrong about going to New York-"

The hurt expression on Tanner's face caused me to stop to correct myself. "No, Tanner. I mean, I really do want to go to New York, but, she worries me to the extent that I'm scared about her health and leaving her," I explained and he seemed relieved.

I ran my thumb over his lower lip, looking into his eyes. I closed the space between us as I pressed my lips against his. He raised a finger to my chin, lifting it a little as he bit on my lower lip softly, causing me to part my lips. He slipped his tongue into my mouth. He left kisses on my jaw, then my neck, sucking lightly on the spot. I let out a small moan before he moved back up to my mouth and kissed my lip again then I pulled away slowly.

I rested my head in his shoulder, trying to catch my breath as he stroked my hair.

"Hows Renée doing with Tori?" I asked him as I lifted my eyes to look at him.

He swallowed, "Pretty good. I'm amazed and happy at her cooperation, really."

"How about Tori. How's she doing?"

"Well, so far, she has done a great job. She gets up really early to clean the house, and she's been making the meals. She cooks pretty good. She takes Renée on walks and to school. I asked her to do it just so Renée gets used to it. Overall, everything's going well."

"That's great, Tanner!" I smiled. "What about your parents? Have they seen her yet?"

"Yeah, they have," he nodded, pressing his lips together, "They weren't exactly happy. Especially mom, but they still pretty much go out a lot. I honestly can handle them even if I'll be away from L.A," he seemed relaxed. "So, how do you feel? We're leaving tomorrow."

"It's so surreal," I said in a breathy chuckle, "I think we have to get to the airport before I believe it."

He chuckled as well, rubbing his thumb over my cheek.

"Is everything with your apartment settled yet?" I asked him.

"Yep," he breathed. "I paid for it last two weeks."

"Does it have furniture?"

"It does. It a pretty cute apartment with furniture, but I was thinking to do some shopping? Like, a little bit of decors, since we don't resume until three days after we get there."

"Right," I nodded, "Like curtains and rugs?"

"Yeah. Think you can make a list?"

"Sure," I nodded.

"We're doing the shopping together, you know, right?" He looked at me.

"Of course, since you can't do it without me," I teased.

"I'm just trying to see if I can change your mind so you can live with me."

I rolled my eyes, smiling, "You know that can't work anymore. There's no doubt your apartment would look lovely, but yeah, I'll be up in the dorms," I stuck a tongue out at him and he rolled his eyes.

"You're so cute," I chuckled.

We were quiet for some time.

"I'm so missing this place," I said finally.

"It's so calming."

"Yep," I leaned into him and he held me protectively against him.

We spent the the next hour talking about all the possible things that could happen to the spot when we leave, talking about whatever popped into our heads.

"I should get back home. Get back to mom," I said later after our laughter had just died from out conversation.

"Right. Let's go," he got up from the rock and stretched out a hand to me. I took it and we walked to his car, but not before grabbing hotdogs.

*

"How did it go?" Dad asked, poking his head into my room as soon as I'd gotten into my room.

"Good. Great, actually," I nodded, smiling.

"Did Tanner bring you home?

"Yeah, he did, just that he didn't come in."

"Oh, right. Sunshine, where are your packed bags?" He asked, an eyebrow raised.

"Oops," I said under my breath.

"Doing a lazy job, aren't you?"

"I don't like packing," I groaned.

"As much as I'll love to help, I've got a deadline for a report to work on, hopefully, if I send it in on time, I'll be here to help."

"Thanks, dad," I nodded. "Where's mom?"

"Over at Mrs. Heather's house. She went to drop something or so."

"Right," I made my way to my wardrobe, "I should start packing now."

"Yeah, you should," he playfully winked before walking away.

I sighed to myself, throwing some of my clothes in my bed. I got out my boxes then started folding up my clothes. After folding seven tips and T-shirts, I fell back on my bed, panting.

"I'll pay anyone who freaking helps me do this," I breathed.

"Does MZ need help?"

I looked at my door to see mom standing, a smile on her face.

"Mama!" I squealed like a child, giggling as I left my bed to flung my arms around her. "You're my angel!"

She chuckled, "I was over at Mrs. Heather's and I remembered you didn't like packing. I didn't think you were home yet."

"I got home few minutes ago. Is Mrs. Heather okay?"

"Perfectly okay. She asked me to try out her recipe of chocolate chip cookies. so I did that while you were out and went to drop it off."

"I see. How did they turn out?"

"Just fine, but the sugar needed a decrease."

"That's great! I mean, just to adjust the measurement of the sugar?"

"Yep. I left some in the kitchen for you. I know how much you love them."

I kissed her cheek, "Thanks, mom."

"Anything for you. So, how far have you gone with packing?"

"Not far," I sighed. "Nowhere at all."

"Well, I'm here, so, what do we start with, uh, your clothes, yeah."

*

Mom and I fell back on the bed about three hours later, panting.

"That was a lot," mom said.

"If you didn't come, I won't be almost halfway done."

Mom and I laughed. Just then, dad strolled in, a smile on his face and a tray in his hand.

"You guys must be so tired, so, I brought you drinks and the cookies your mom made," he said, kissing mom's lips.

"Thanks dad," I said, smiling as I picked up a cookie.

"This room is empty," dad said, looking around my room.

"It is," I nodded.

"Aw, my sunshine," dad kissed my forehead and ruffled my hair before walking out.

"I can't believe this room is empty," mom said, her voice was cracked and I looked up to see that water was in her eyes. "I... I always thought it'll have no reason to be. I-" She burst into tears.

"Mom," I pulled her into a hug. "It's okay."

"I'll miss you so, so much, MZ. You're the best daughter any mom could ask for. You..." her voice trailed off.

"I'll miss you too, mom. A lot. But I promise, it's only university. I'll be fine. And whenever Tanner comes home, I'll be coming with him."

"Really?" She looked at me, relieved.

"Yes, mom," I chuckled. "He's leaving Renée with a nanny and he would want to check on her. So, you have nothing to worry about. I'll call you too. I'm not dying, mom. I'm just going to further my education," I chuckled.

She looked at me for a while as if she tried to process my words. Then she chuckled and hugged me tighter.

My heart swelled.