Absolute Silence

29

Dante sat taller in his chair, his face growing stern. “I absolutely did not. Has someone else contacted you?” I sighed. “Some woman named Liana showed up at my bank yesterday. She didn’t seem to like me very much.” “I’m so sorry about that. It won’t happen again.” His midnight gaze went glacial, broadcasting a scathing intolerance for the woman. “She didn’t do anything outrageous, just caught me off guard.” I wasn’t sure why I was defending her except that I’d always been taught snitches get stitches. It went against my upbringing to get her in trouble. Dante quickly thawed and waved me off. “Don’t worry. I won’t do anything rash, but I believe I know what happened, and it’s an issue that needs to be sorted. I appreciate you bringing it to my attention.” I gave a tight-lipped smile. “No problem.” “Is there anything else I should know about? Perhaps what happened last weekend?” He peered at me from beneath a forest of lashes. “No, really. I just needed some time to think.” Dante was sweet, but I wasn’t talking to him about my issues with Filip before I even talked to Filip about them. It would be a betrayal, and I wasn’t that type of person. Those perceptive eyes studied me, searching and analyzing my every tell. Before he could dig for more, I turned the tables on him. “Dante, why exactly are you here? I know this isn’t normal protocol. You don’t go check on every member who has a rough night.” He sat back in an open stance and regarded me as if debating what to tell me. “I see all sorts of people walk through my doors at the Den. Many are curious about a kink or bored with their lives. A select few are addicts, and s*x is their drug of choice. But you, dear Camilla, you are a rare flower where before there were only vines and weeds. I sensed from the moment I met you that you were worth nurturing. That your growth would be something to behold.” I was speechless, struck dumb by his unabashed confession. “I don’t know what to say,” I whispered, my eyes darting to his only briefly. The intimacy of eye contact after such a personal admission was more than I could bear. I’d been so caught up with Filip that I hadn’t given Dante a second thought, but I’d clearly been on his mind. The disparity was uncomfortable. What did he hope to achieve by coming over and sharing his feelings? If he’d just wanted s*x, he could have approached me at the club. Was he asking for something more? My stomach dipped and swerved at the prospects. “You don’t have to say anything,” he offered. “I only want you to know I’m here for you.” He reached over the table and wrapped his large hand around mine, giving me a gentle squeeze. “I won’t bother you anymore, but please tell me I’ll see you again at the Den. I’d hate for one bad experience to bar you from other … possibilities.” Possibilities? As in, a relationship with him? He was definitely interested, but I wasn’t sure how I felt. I’d already been overwhelmed with how to handle Filip, so throwing Dante in the mix made me positively dizzy. “I’d love to reassure you, but I’m just not sure at the moment. Thank you, though.” I pulled my hand out from beneath his. His smile faltered ever so slightly. “Well, I don’t need to keep you. It’s a relief to know you’re okay, and I’ll remain hopeful that I’ll see you again soon.” We both stood, but before leaving the table, Dante’s eyes tracked to my kitchen island where my vase of roses was on display. “Your flowers are lovely.” He turned back to me, stepping in and placing a gentle kiss on my temple. “Just like you,” he breathed, then made for the door and let himself out. I never budged from the table. When I decided to become a member at The Lion’s Den, I never imagined I’d be complicating my life to such an extreme. Between Filip, the catty Liana, Dante, and my own sordid issues, I was embroiled in more emotional angst than I cared to experience in a lifetime. Proverbial waters were inching up and over my nose. Any higher, and I wouldn’t be able to breathe. I’d opened Pandora’s box when I joined the club. What if I put the lid back on and walked away? I’d never have to see Liana and Dante again. I wouldn’t have to tell anyone about my sordid past, and Filip would eventually give up trying to see me. I could pretend none of it had ever happened. Filip and I only seemed to hurt one another. Maybe it would be merciful to put an end to our relationship. The whole point of the club was to seek out pleasure and learn more about myself. A place I could go purely for my enjoyment. At this rate, the Den had stirred up more strife than pleasure. It would be so much easier to walk away. Would that be so bad? If I needed that to support my own mental health, it had to be the best course of action, right? If I still wanted to pursue my erotic exploration, I could join one of the other clubs. Despite what Filip implied, the Den wasn’t my only option. There were two other elite clubs in town that could provide what I was seeking without the other entanglements. My phone vibrated back on the couch, and I rushed to grab it. Mom calling. Can’t a girl catch a break? I took a deep breath—good air in, bad air out. “Hey, Ma. What’s up?” “You know, it’s Saturday, so I just wanted to see if you’d be able to come to Mass with us tomorrow. It’s been ages since you’ve come.” Somehow, the universe knew my emotional cocktail was one bitter flavor shy of a complete recipe. Guilt. The secret ingredient to a world-class case of emotional instability. Just what I needed. “Sorry, Ma. Not this week.” There was no way I could handle family interaction after the week I’d had. “I’ll try to come out next weekend, I promise.” Why did I just promise something I had no intention of doing? It just set her up for disappointment and armed her with more ammunition to make me feel guilty. I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to want to please her. I wanted to be the kid whose parents boasted about them at every chance, but my efforts felt more cumbersome and less effective with each passing year. “Sofia’s birthday dinner is next Friday evening, so I guess we’ll see you then. Remember, you never know how long we’ll be around. We’re getting older every day, Cam.”