Stay

Smile…

 I'm ready to hope, swing me out of the low

Wide awake in the glow, can't do it alone…

- Oh Wonder

“Please, let’s not. I can’t.” I practically whine.

He grins and pulls back. “I know, I know. I was just playing with you.” He says and seats me on a sofa. For the first time in these 10 minutes, I have a moment to look around. His office is modern and bright. His desk is blue and yellow with many folders and documents on it next to his computer. His leather chair is red and the sofa in the corner of the room is grey with red, yellow and blue cushions. The furniture is also in the same colors but the walls and the ceilings are white with the exception of the wall behind his desk which is a mosaic of colors. Overall, it’s very beautiful and tasteful.

“How did you decide to visit me?” He says as he leads me to the sofa making me sit.

“I just missed you and thought one short visit wouldn’t hurt.” I shrug. He grins.

“Thank you. You did so right.” Then he sits next to me and pulls me to him. “I missed you so bad.”

“Aren’t you hungry? You have been here for a long time.” I ask eyeing his beautiful face. Then I trace my fingers along his jaw. He closes his eyes and leans into my touch. I shiver.

“No, I had lunch recently.”

“Alone?”

“No.”

“With whom then?” Miriam? Katherine? Another woman?

“With a person.”

“Alexander!”

He laughs a hearty laugh and I can’t help my own smile. “It was a business lunch baby.”

Phew! What a relief. “Weren’t you supposed to meet someone for umm… You know… David’s case?” He shifts in his seat.

“The first thing I did in the morning was that.” I can see how much he doesn’t want to talk about that, so I suppose it’s better I don’t push him. He will tell me if he thinks I should know it.

“Okay. Thank you.” He raises his eyebrow as an indicator of his surprise at my retreat.

“Kitten? You are not going to push?” I grin and shake my head. He also grins and kisses me. “I love your common sense.”

“Today Lily asked me how long we are going to stay at your place.”

“Yeah. About that. My broker has called your dad. We are waiting for his answer.” Oh. This is quick. “He might call you about that.”

I nod. Pretty possible.

“So, according to your suggestion to him, when will we move out?” I ask him stroking his a bit longer hair. He catches my palm and kisses it.

“You will have a new place by the end of the week.”

“But we have planned to travel to my parents’… We won’t?” I pout. I really, really wanted to do that.

He smiles and pulls me to him, laying my head on his taut shoulders. “We will do everything you want. Always.”

“I love you so much.” Then I reach to kiss him. He is tasty.

“Your office is very beautiful and comfy, by the way.” I tell him. He gets the proud expression on his face and I beam. “I am so proud of you.”

“Thank you baby. By the way, Ash is on his way here. You will meet him finally.”

“Really? I’m super excited. I haven’t met any of your friends yet.”

“I don’t have any friends baby. Just him.” My face falls. It must have been very hard for him. He has trust issues now. That he wants me to meet him is already a big step for him.

“Hey, don’t…” He tilts my chin and places a soft kiss at the corner of my lips. “He’s a good guy. Has been with me since the day I finished my first course in programming, some 7 years ago.”

“Then I would love to see your friendship.” He kisses my temple.

“Where is Lily?” He asks me curiously.

“She went out to meet a friend…” I freeze. “Oh no, I forgot to tell her I am not home!” I jump up and grab my phone.

“Tell her to come here. We’ll go home together from here.” Alexander mouths to me. I nod.

“Lil, hey, where are you?” I say quickly.

“I’m heading to Alex’s place now. Why?”

“No, no, no, wait. I’m not home. I’m with Alex at his office. Come here, I’ll text you the address. He will take us home later.”

“Oh, okay then. Text me.”

“Okay.” I say and hang up. Then I send her my location.

“She’s on her way.” I tell Alex. He gets up, rounds his desk and sits on his red chair.

“Then I’ll switch this off. I’ve done a lot of work today. Will finish the rest at home. Let’s go make coffee.”

His company kitchen cabinets contain things way, way tastier than my home kitchen cabinets do. Pastry, different kinds of teas and coffees and a lot more. We end up laying a nice table for the guests. When we finish, I contemplate telling him what I did to Miriam’s earring, but then what if he finds it stupid and takes the envelope? I want Miriam to feel the bitterness. I wonder if she has contacted him after the mall incident… I will have to find out.

As I’m washing my hands, I hear footsteps.

“Alex? I’m here.” A voice calls from the foyer.

“It’s Ash.” Alex says and goes to meet him. A moment later they come back together. Ash is a bit taller than Alex, thinner but also muscular. His hair is pitch black and he has dimples.

“Ash, this is Sarah. Sarah, this is Ash.” Alex introduces us and Ash extends his hand. I take it smiling.

“Nice to meet you.” I say. He beams.

“Oh, the pleasure is mine.” Ash says and I feel Alex’s hand flexing on my waist. He is tense. You have no idea how much I hate Katherine and the scars she has left on my man’s soul. I put my hand on his reassuringly and glance at him. He relaxes.

“Come, we have your coffee ready.” Alex says to him and takes my hand. We go to his office.

“But there are four cups here.” Ash says glancing at the small table.

“Oh, my friend is also coming here. Her name is Lily.” I say casually. Something flicks on his face and disappears as quickly. Ash has a puzzled look. Then he looks at Alex.

“If this is arranged, you know I will kill you.” He threatens.

Alex grins. “It’s not. Just a coincidence, I promise.”

Ash glances at me. “Is he telling the truth?” I blush and nod.

“Okay. Because he always tries to set me up for dates.” He exhales and takes a seat. Just as he does this, Lily calls me.

“Sarah, the security guy wants a confirmation you are waiting for me.” I laugh. Of course.

“Alex, the security…” I mouth to him. He huffs and takes the phone. “Lil, give him the phone… George, let her up.” Then he hangs up.

“That guy deserves a promotion.” I tell him. “He’s very good at his job.”

“Maybe.” Alex says and turns to Ash. They start discussing a new project they are doing and I go to get Lily. She’s turning the corner to the foyer.

“Lil!” I hug her briefly.

“This is such an amazing place! How did he do this?” She is in awe. Me too.

I lead her to his office telling her what I did to the earring on the way. She thinks I have a b***h side. She’s not wrong.

We enter Alex’s office, the smile on her lips fades. She just stops moving.

“Ash…” She whispers. What? I look at her to find her extremely pale. How do they know each other?

Ash stands up unsteadily. He opens his mouth to say something but doesn’t. I look at Alex. He’s also baffled.

“Lily…” Ash says in a low voice and we all look at him. He doesn’t speak for a moment but then he says. “I… It’s nice to see you again.” He swallows.

“What the heck is going on in here?” Alexander asks and I nod. Indeed.

The room is silent but we all can feel the energy pulsating between them. The tension is thick.

Lily breaks the silence. “Sorry. I have to go.” She turns and rushes out of the room. In a split second, Ash is after her. Alex and I are left in complete confusion. What the hell did just happen?

“What do you think?” I ask Alex grinning.

“I have no idea but they clearly still have it hot for each other.” He comes closer to me and hugs me. I lean into him. “Whatever it is, we will let them solve it themselves.” I nod and inhale his majestic, intoxicating smell. I love him so much.

Almost an hour later we leave his office but Lily and Ash are nowhere to be seen. I am worried.

“Alex, should I call Lily? I am so worried!” I tell him as he starts his car.

“No. You can trust Ash. Don’t worry.”

“Okay then. Just a quick text.” I put my puppy eyes on and he grins.

“Okay, okay…” He raises his hands in defence. I beam and quickly text Lily to use our safe word, if anything. She replies, saying she’s fine. Good.

Alexander driving is a sight. He is so handsome, so focused. The power of his car equals the power of his gaze on the road. My heart swells with love for him.

Suddenly, he stops the car. I look at him with a raised eyebrow. He answers my unspoken question with a wink that has my knees weak, and gets out of the car. I have no idea where he is going and for some moments I contemplate calling him. Oh, his phone is in the car. Awesome! The only thing I can do is wait. So I wait. Some five minutes later he returns with a big paper bag in his hands.

“Oh, what’s this?” I ask and try to get a peek into the bag. He doesn’t let me.

“You can look into the bag only if you kiss me.” He announces with a proud face.

“There’s no better deal!” I squeal and smash our lips together. The kiss, unusually, is not heated. It’s just a quick peck.

“Okay, look.” He permits me. I want to jump with excitement! I open the bag. It’s full of… Coconuts! He bought me a big bag of coconuts!

“Alex, this is the best gift ever! Thank you so much!” I giggle with joy.

“If I knew you would get so happy, I’d buy you coconuts every single hour.” He beams. My perfect man. My love. I kiss him again, this time it’s longer, deeper, hotter. We barely make it home before undressing each other.

“Alex, it’s almost midnight. Where’s Lily?” I ask him as we lie on his couch watching a movie.

“I don’t know, but I am sure she is alright. Don’t worry.” He pulls me back to his chest. It’s very relaxing but still…

“Can you please call Ash? Please?” I ask him. He makes a frustrated sound but relents to my pleas. As he’s unlocking his phone, someone knocks at the door. I jump right up and run to it.

“Lily?” I almost yell before opening it.

“Yeah, it’s me! Open!” I do.

“Lily! Where the heck were you?” I say hugging her. “Are you okay?” She fakes a smile. Something’s off.

“I’m fine, Sarah, it’s okay. Just tired. Hey Alex!” She waves at him. He winks. “Can we please talk after I have had a shower?” She looks at me with pleading eyes. Oh Lily!

“Yeah, sure. Go.” I let her go and join my man back on the sofa.

“See, she’s fine.” He says and kisses my temple. I nod and nuzzle into his neck. “Who knew they had a history…” He whispers. I nod again.

“Yeah. Even I had no idea. But it’s not too strange. There are still people who don’t even know we are together.” I say nonchalantly. He shifts and takes his phone. I eye him suspiciously.

He opens the camera, sits me up, hugs me and takes a selfie. To my great surprise, it’s a very cute one. Then he asks me to get my phone. I am still suspicious but I go to fetch it. On my way back to the sofa, my phone beeps. It’s a f*******: notification. ‘Alexander Tateossian is in a relationship with Sarah Kasparian’. Below the caption is our selfie, loving and warm. I chuckle. This is such a sweet move!

"See, now everyone knows we are together. I should have done this way before." He says.

"Thank you. I appreciate this." I tell him looking into his eyes. He kisses my cheek. Suddenly, my phone buzzes. It's my dad.

"Daddy!" I squeal with joy. I miss him.

"Baby girl! Hey." His voice is warm and gentle, like he always is with me.

"Hey dad. How's everything?"

"We're good Sarah, all is fine. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, all good."

"Baby girl, I have something to tell you." His voice gets tense. I look at Alex, who gives me a reassuring nod. "Would it be okay with you if we sell the apartment you live in and buy a new one? Recently I got a very good offer, don't want to miss it." He waits for my answer.

"Dad, I don't mind. It's okay. But when will you sell it?" I hope my voice sounds surprised. I'm bad at imitations.

"Will two days be enough for you to move out? If you and Lily can manage that, it would be fine." Oh, that's a short time. "Meanwhile, I will take care of the new place and you will move in as soon as possible. Good?"

"Oh. Umm, yeah, I guess. So, you will come here? For the paperwork, you know."

"Yeah, but I won't have much time there, so I might only see you for a short time. I'm sorry baby."

"Dad, it's okay, really. Just let me know when you get here."

"Okay. That will be tomorrow. Love you."

"Love you too, dad." He hangs up. I look at Alex.

"Alex, he is selling the apartment." He grins.

"I knew he would." He kisses my forehead. "Moving out?"

"Yeah. We have two days."

"Are you sad?" He eyes me.

"I am. I loved my place."

“I know…” He says and nuzzles my neck. I lean into him once again. My rock, my home.

“Alex?” I whisper into his chest.

“Hmm?” He sounds so sleepy, no wonder.

“Has Miriam contacted you after the mall incident?” When was that? Two days ago? Seems like ages have passed.

“No. And I’m surprised at that. She would be here weeping now under any other circumstances.”

I contemplate telling him what I did to the earring but what if he gets mad at me? What if he thinks I’m being bitchy and way too jealous? Oh come on, any other girl would have left him the moment they’d found the earring! I am so patient and willing to work things out. True, what I did was a bit too stupid, but I had all the right in the world to do that! Or did I? No, I’d rather tell him. What if they eventually talk and he says he has not done that?! That would be the end! Okay, you can do this Sarah, come on, tell him…

“Baby?” He sounds so amused. “Are you trying to tell me something?”

My chin drops. Did I say all of that out loud? No. he looks like he’s just guessing.

“How do you know?” I inquire imitating a smile.

“You just looked like you were giving yourself a small pep talk in your mind. Your face was funny.”

“Oh, okay then… Yeah, I have something to tell you…”

“What’s wrong?” He looks at me with a serious face.

“Okay… So… Today I did something maybe too stupid and it was totally out of jealousy. I… I took Miriam’s earring and… Put it into an envelope and wrote a note…” His face is a huge question mark. I take a deep, calming breath. “So, I wrote that the envelope must be sent to Miriam and I put it on your secretary’s desk… I signed it with your name…” I squeeze my eyes shut and wait. Now that I have said all of that loudly, it seems more stupid. Moments pass and Alex still hasn’t said anything. With my eyes shut, I can’t even see his face… I slowly open one eye, then the other… He is grinning at me! From ear to ear… Then he laughs. A long, hearty laugh that has my knees weak. I love him laugh. I love how his nose creases and his eyes get watery and the sounds he makes. I fall a bit deeper right now. As if it was possible.

“Why are you laughing?” I ask him cautiously. He sighs.

“You are a complete baby. Why did you do that?” He laughs again. I shrug.

“I just wanted her to feel that you don’t want to interact with her in any way… Or do you?” His brows furrow.

“Of course not! It’s okay, sunshine. You did right.”

“Oh. Did I?” I am utterly surprised at his reaction.

“Yeah. It’s okay. I like how possessive you are.” He comes closer and closer till our noses touch. My heart starts beating faster… I tilt my chin inviting him for a kiss and his eyes sparkle with need. Our lips touch slightly… And Lily enters the room…

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry.” She says quickly. Alex shifts and sits next to me. The feeling of disappointment gets on his small throne inside my head.

“It’s okay. Come, tell us what the heck that was…” I say and extend my hand as an invitation for her. She takes hesitant steps but then joins us on the sofa.

“I’m sorry I interrupted…” She says blushing.

“It’s okay buddy, stop it. Now tell us.” Alex urges her.

“By the way, if you are not ready to, it’s also okay.” I say quickly just to reassure her she doesn’t have to. She shakes her head.

“No, you need to know.” She clears her throat. Alex pulls me to his chest.

“Ash… He was my boyfriend once… Some three years ago… Before I came to live with you, Sarah.” I sigh with relief. It would feel awful if all of that had happened when she was living with me and I had no idea. “We dated for some 6 months.”

“Lil, are you sure? Because three years ago he… He was engaged…” Alex’s voice is full of confusion.

“What!?” I almost yell. This cannot be true.

“That’s the point, Alex. I was the side chick… Without even knowing it. I had no idea he was engaged. When I found out, I just left him and disappeared from the city for a while.” I am in shock.

“Lily, why didn’t you tell me?” I take her hand gently. She must have been in so much pain…

“It’s not something you easily talk about, Sarah.” She’s right. I just hug her.

“I had no idea.” Alex says equally shocked. “Though he did break up with Mary a short time after… He would never explain why, but the girl was devastated… Apparently, he was in love with you.”

“Really? You think so?” Lily asks kind of hopefully. I look at her with a raised brow. My sister is still in love.

“Yeah, but did you talk today?” Lily nods.

“He explained that he was too scared to tell me and that he never married her… But it’s not enough… He has no idea how deeply hurt I was and how long it took me to heal… What hurts most is that all of my progress for these three years went down hill as soon as I saw him today…” She looks away. My chest tightens. Oh, Ash…

“Lil, he never really loved Mary. She was just a convenient choice from a family they knew. But she’s a good girl. Though I have no idea where she is now.” Alex explains. Lily’s eyes fill with tears.

“For six months… He lied to me for six months. He let me dream about us. He let me think we would be a family eventually. All of that while he was going to marry another woman.” Her tears cut through me.

“Lily, please, don’t cry.” I hold her again. I didn’t know she had gone through such a horrible situation.

Alex’s phone starts ringing and he groans. “It’s Ash.” Lily looks up and shrugs. “It’s okay, I’m fine. I know that we are going to have to meet each other sometimes.” Alex nods and answers the phone.

“Ash. What’s up?” He listens intently. “I don’t know dude. That’s a pretty messed up situation you made. Yeah, I see, but still. I don’t know, you’ve better talk to her about that.” Ash says something more. Alex looks at me and then at Lily and says. “That won’t be a good idea. It’s late, the girls are going to bed shortly.” Lily jumps up.

“He wants to come here?” She sounds genuinely excited but tries to feign disinterest. Alex nods. Her eyes sparkle for a moment but then her face gets serious. “No, I don’t want to talk to him again. Today was enough.” She says forcing sternness. I know her too well to realize she wants to see him really bad.

“But Lily…” I say gently. “Maybe he has more to say and you are depriving him of the right to express his point of vi…” I don’t even have enough time to finish my sentence.

“Okay. Sure. Tell him to come. He still has to explain things to you.” Alex smirks at her words.

“Ash, come up.” Oh, he’s on the street then.

Lily is pacing the room like a wolf. She fixes her hair and smooths out her clothes. I study her in awe. I have never seen her like this. She really wants to see him and I know it’s for her own good. Though I am perfectly sure Ash’s going to have a hard time trying to get her back. A moment later the doorbell rings. Lily jumps at the sound. Alex and I laugh. I get up to open the door. Ash’s face expression is so much like Lily’s it makes me chuckle.

“Ash, hey.” I invite him in. He’s overly nervous. As he takes his seat on the L-like couch, Alex pulls me to him at the corner. In the end, Lily and Ash are facing each other. The silence is awkward, so I gesture to Alex to say something.

“Ash, you never told me about your story with Lily.” Alex says nonchalantly.

“Dude, you’d kick my ass if you knew I had a girlfriend while being engaged.” Lily looks away as he says the words. My heart aches for her.

“Right. But you still did that. How?” Alex’s voice is tense, almost angry.

“I didn’t love Mary. And Lily… She just appeared…” Ash’s voice trails off. I understand him, but what he did is wrong on so many levels. Lily might love him like crazy still but it is going to be hard for her to forgive him…

The tension is thick in the room. Lily and Ash are looking at each other intently, as if talking to each other without speaking… I get how it is. We are also like that. Me and my ace.

“I think we should leave them alone.” I whisper into Alex’s neck. He nods curtly and we get up. We would excuse ourselves before leaving the room but no one even      pays attention, so…

In his study, Alex hugs me and inhales deeply.

“I love you so much baby.” He says softly. In those words, all of his emotions are hidden. He is thankful for how we never let each other down. I don’t have to reply for him to know how deep my own love is. I am also grateful to life for having found him. Sometimes it feels like I find me inside him. My reflection, my soul… And I’m not trapped. I am where I want to be… Where I’m meant to be… I smile.