Stay

A Love Too Strong…

 Love your curves and all your edges,

All your perfect imperfections…

- John Legend

I wake up from a slight tug. I’m being lifted up. My eyes open.

“Shh, baby, I’m taking you to bed… You fell asleep in my arms.” I nuzzle into him more and he lets out a small laugh. “Here, you’re in bed. Go back to sleep.” He covers me and turns to go but I grip his hand.

“Don’t go, please.”

“Baby, I have to work.”

“Please.” My eyes flutter open and I put my puppy face on.

He groans. “Okay, sunshine. I’ll come to bed then. Wait.” He pulls the cover off me and starts undressing me. I understand that the sole purpose of undressing me is making me comfy, but I cannot help the sensation I get when he touches my skin. His gaze is also clouded, I know he is also fighting the urge to deepen this, so I decide I should help him make the right decision.

“Ace, I want to take a quick shower, can I?” He studies my face as if he knows my game.

“Yeah, sure.”

“But I’m too tired. I cannot even stand!” I say in the most unnatural way and he narrows his eyes on me. “Would you help?” I ask him batting my eyelashes. He laughs.

“Come.” He takes my hand and leads me to the bathroom.

We shower together, our breaths slow and heavy, full of animalistic lust… We mold and collide. We are a whole.

Then we go to bed together… I win the game. Again.

I wake up from a nightmare with a gasp. My cheeks are wet, I have been crying in my sleep. I put my hand upon my chest and try to calm, telling myself it was just a dream again and again. I open my eyes, disoriented, and when I register where I am, everything calms in a moment. Serenity. Peace. Alexander. It’s morning and the sunlight is pouring from the windows into the room. I look at him. He is sleeping besides me, so peaceful, his beautiful features calm and relaxed. His right hand is tucked under his pillow, his left one is holding my waist. He’s lying on his front, his back bare and muscular. I want to worship him with everything I have. I reach my fingers and trace a soft line down his spine. Then I touch his eyebrows, eyelashes, his perfect, kissable lips. He stirs and does a funny little dance with his lower lip. I beam. My ace, my everything… I rake my hand through his hair, feeling them so soft under my fingers. His hair is always cut short and tidy but now it is a bit longer. Maybe he has missed an appointment with his barber. Then I trace his shoulder feeling his muscles. So perfect. My hand goes down to where he’s holding me by my waist. I stroke the hairs on his arm, but the blanket is covering his hand. I remove the cover from me. I trace his fingers lingering a bit too much on his ring finger. I draw a little circle around it. Suddenly, his hand grabs mine and he takes it to his mouth for a kiss.

“I’m sorry I woke you. Didn’t mean to.” I apologize. He was very tired yesterday. How could I be so careless now?

“I love you waking me, sunshine.” He pulls me closer to him and hugs me. Our bodies, covered with nothing, touch. I hum in response.

“Sarah, do you have any idea how much I love this body?” He touches and caresses me everywhere. “You are so gorgeous. Perfect. So perfect.” I feel the exact same thing for him.

“I cannot breathe without you.” I tell him.

“I won’t leave you without me, baby.” This is a promise.

“What time is it?” I ask him.

“I don’t know. Let me check.” He grabs his phone from the nightstand. “It’s 11 am.” Six hours of sleep then. I wonder if Lily is asleep.

“I want to send Lily a quick text so she doesn’t feel ignored. I already broke my promise of staying with her tonight.” Alex seems to be too carried away with his own fantasies. He’s not even listening to me while he explores my body for the thousandth time. I take my phone and let her know I’m awake, if anything. A quick text is all I can manage in the split second he puts me under him…

As I’m getting dressed after a quick shower, Alex keeps hindering me with swift kisses and touches. By the time we are both dressed, Lily has already sent me a hundred texts, like: “Are you awake?”, “I’m hungry. Gonna make breakfast.”, “Where is the toaster?”, “Oh, okay, found it.”, “Come on, wake up.”, “Or should I say, enjoy your time?”. The last one makes me tomato-red.

From the way Alex is dressed, I suppose he’s going out. He is wearing a dark blue polo shirt with a pair of grey pants. His loafers are dark blue as well, matching his outfit perfectly. He has a great taste in everything. When he takes his sunglasses out of the drawer, I know for sure he’s leaving.

“Where are you going?” I ask hugging him. He drapes his arm over me.

“I need to take care of things. Feel yourselves at home, do whatever you wish. I’ll be back in the evening.” He kisses my cheek.

“In the evening?!” I whine like a baby and he laughs.

“Yeah. It’s complicated. I hope I will be able to come home before 9. I need to meet people. And also, I need to go to the company. I can’t work from home all the time.”

“But it’s Sunday!” I protest. “Please, ace, don’t go to the company today. See, I’m here. How will I endure this day without you?”

“Baby, I’ll do my best to come home early. I promise.”

“Okay…” I am so sad he’s leaving. But I also understand I’m being a complete baby. “Will you have breakfast, at least?”

“Yes, I will.” He cups my cheeks. “Are you too sad I’m leaving?” I nod. “Oh, Sarah. You are so hard to keep away from, but I need to work, you know it. I also need to meet the guy I was talking to in the evening.” I know all of this, but still…

“Yeah, I know. Just be careful okay?”

“I will be careful and you can call me whenever you wish.” I nod. “What would you like me to bring with me? Name anything.” I beam.

“A coconut.”

“A coconut? You like coconuts?” I nod quickly. He laughs. “Okay then baby. Coconut it is then. Now let’s go eat. Lily must also be hungry.”

“Okay.” We go to the living room hand in hand.

Lily has prepared the best breakfast table in the history of breakfast tables. Pancakes, omelets, fruits, veggies and freshly squeezed juice.

“Thanks for this amazing breakfast sis.” I say to Lily and kiss her cheek. She blushes. 

The breakfast is really delicious. I study Alex as he eats, not ever wanting him to finish his meal so he doesn’t go. But I know he must go. Lily and I will find something to busy ourselves with. I have so much to tell her. She doesn’t know a lot yet.

“I need to go now.” Alex says and gets up. I also get up, in sync. “Lily, see you.” He taps her shoulder the way he would do to a guy. I giggle. Lily scowls.

I follow him to the door and kiss him goodbye for some five minutes. Then I lock the door and go to help Lily clean up.

“Lil, there are things I need to tell you.” I say as I’m loading the dishwasher. “The last two days have been more complicated than you know.”

“I could guess from the way you were. Too emotional. You are not, usually.” She knows me way too much.

“Well, let’s start. So, I told him about David, everything. He took it ok, but I know it was not an easy thing to accept. He never made me feel bad about my past, and it amazes me.”

“Sarah, he’s an amazing person. David can never hurt you as long as you have Alex. And I knew you had told him about your past because he never asked who it was in the flat.”

“Yeah. I know. Then he demanded that you and I move out from that flat and get a new one. Since it’s my dad’s possession, he made a plan to offer a high price for it and buy the place. Not personally him, of course: a broker. Then the same broker will offer my dad another good place with a lower price. One that Alex wants. This is his plan. We won’t stay here for long.”

Lily is gaping at me. “Sarah, do you even understand the enormous lengths he’s going for you just to keep you safe?”

“I do. I feel do safe with him.”

“I am amazed. Okay, what’s next?”

“Umm, so he took me to meet his parents?”

“What?” Lily almost drops the plate she’s holding. “Oh my god, Sarah! Yaaay!” She puts it on the counter and hugs me. “I’m so happy for you. Do you realize this is a huge step?”

“Umm, why is this a huge step?” I am puzzled.

“Are you insane? He wants to marry!”

“Lil, please, don’t talk about it yet. Don’t jump into conclusions. He hasn’t said a word to me yet and it’s way too soon. It’s been only two months…”

“Okay, okay. I will keep my mouth shut, but I’m right.” I roll my eyes. Impossible Lily. “Did they like you?”

“Alex says so. They are wonderful people.”

“Good. What then?”

“This is where the drama starts. We met Miriam. His ex. At the mall.”

“What? Are you kidding me? How?”

“Yeah. She saw us buying clothes and she went into the b***h mode. She said he would leave me soon and go to her. Anyway, don’t dwell on it much. What’s more important, a day before that I had found an earring under his bed. It was hers.” I wait for the realization to down on her. Her eyes widen.

“Sarah, what the heck are you telling me now?”  

“Yeah. It’s complicated.” I shrug. “But nothing had happened between them. She had been depressed and he let her sleep in his bed. Nothing more.”

“Are you sure?” She raises an eyebrow.

“I am. I trust him.”

“Yeah, me too, but why would he care for her? Doesn’t it worry you?”

“It does, a lot. But now he has a lot on his shoulders. I won’t bother him with that.” She nods. I swallow. I so want her to know the story about Katherine, but it’s too personal for Alexander. Something he struggled to tell me about. I cannot. I have to respect his privacy about this. Miriam is enough for Lily to know about.

“How did your dull and uninteresting life become so full of events?” Lily asks eyeing me.

“I have no idea!” I grin. “Coffee?”

“Hell yeah.”

For the next two hours we just chat and laugh. Then we watch a movie. Then we get bored. Then Lily gets a call from one of her friends who wants to meet up. Lily wants to go but refuses because she doesn’t want to leave me alone. I persuade her to go telling her I wanted to take a nap anyway. She goes. I stay alone and with no intention of sleeping. I miss Alex, I miss him so much. Maybe a quick text?

“I miss you, ace. What are you doing?

-Sarah. 18.06.17, 4.21 pm”

Some moments later, my phone beeps. I open the text with shaking fingers. I always get this feeling when I talk to him.

“I miss you too, sunshine. I’d give anything to kiss you now, but I have a lot of work to do still. I’m in the company.

-Alex. 18.06.17, 4.24 pm”

‘I’d give anything to kiss you now?’ Wait. Why can’t I surprise him? The idea cheers me up so much I beam. I will go to him and let him kiss me. No pressure, I will leave as soon as he does. I just really need to see him. My insides are burning with longing.

I jump from my comfy spot on his sofa and run to his bedroom. I change into a pair of ripped, light blue denim shorts with a matching simple tank top. Then I pull out my white sneakers from the closet. A bit of light makeup and I’m done. As I’m rushing to the door, my gaze falls to the round vase. I quickly grab the earring and leave.

His company is not hard to find and, thank goodness, the doors to the building are open. There is a security guy standing in the foyer and as I have no idea where exactly his office is, I decide it’s better to ask.

“Umm, hi. I’m sorry, I was just looking for Alexander Tateossian. He told me he’s here.” He eyes me suspiciously.

“Can I have your name please?”

“Sure. I am Sarah Kasparian.” His brows shoot up as if in surprise.

“Miss Kasparian, of course. We are told to grant you access everywhere. You can take the lift to the tenth floor. Then just go straight through the glass doors. His office is the last door.”

“Oh. Nice to know. Thank you.” I say and go in the direction of the lift. He has told the security to grant me access? Did he know I was going to come here? Anyways, it’s a thoughtful and a very considerate thing to do. I smile to myself. I am so lucky.

The doors of the lift open. In front of me, on transparent glass doors, it’s written ‘CODEET IT Company’ in the most tasteful way: the first word is ‘handwritten’, then it’s classic bold. It’s in black. Simple and beautiful.

I walk into the foyer. The style of the place is nothing like the style of the logo. It’s colorful, cheerful, with many bean bag chairs and even a swing! I bet it’s so fun working here. There are a lot of beautiful paintings on the walls, all of them colorful and bright. Even the sofa is red! Far into the hall, it is very tech. There are three wide desks that accommodate some ten computers each. There is a lot of other equipment, so it’s very, very tech. I look around and see a desk. His secretary’s, I suppose. It has a computer on it and a lot of folders. Exactly what I was hoping to find. I take the earring out of my bag. I find a glue, a sheet of paper and a pen. Quickly, I make an envelope (I’m good at origami, if anything), put the earring inside, glue it and take the pen.

‘Please, make sure this reaches miss Miriam Atoian.

-Alexander’

I take a look at my creation. I’m a genius! This way, he won’t even have to talk to her. I leave the envelope on the desk and go in search for Alexander.

His door is closed but I can see his figure in the opaque glass. I knock. It is silent for a moment, then he asks.

“Who is it?” I grin and open the door.

“It’s me, ace.” I say cautiously and approach him. He jumps from his seat and rounds the table.

“Sunshine! You’re here.” Then he pulls me to him and pins me to his door. I’m trapped. I love it. His kiss is fevered, hot, breathless, needy. He almost bruises my lips.

“Hell, I missed you so much.” He says in between kisses. “You came to me…” I kiss him back. The tension is so thick I can feel it on my body.

“We need to pull back before we do something stupid in your office.” I say breathlessly.

“Stupid? Do you mean amazing?” He grins, his nose touching mine. Is he serious?

“Alex, no, we can’t.” I protest, pushing him. My efforts fail. He’s too strong.