Dazai x Reader Fanfic [ONE-SHOTS]

White.     Everything is covered with a bright, white light, slowly embracing them toward a world where all things will start anew.   A huge door opens, letting you take a peek inside. In there, familiar faces sat side-by-side with a soft smile on their faces while looking at you, painting the atmosphere with jubilee. The place is undeniably sacred, with beautiful chandeliers hanging on its ceiling.   With a red carpet under your feet, you strode your way towards the other end where a man, a man whom you cherished with all your life waits with astounding patience. But, to state the facts, he's there, clenching his fists as tight as he could, trying to control himself from running and throwing himself safe in your arms.   Even you, who's barely hanging on a thin thread, want to break free from that stereotypical beliefs and ideals, and just claim your man. Right here. Right now. Right at this very moment.   Oh, you've forgotten. That certain white piece of clothing hinders you from sprinting. No, it's not just simple clothe, but your wedding dress.   Voices from an orchestra drowned the whole place. While walking at a slow pace (just to tease your man), you looked at the visitors occupying the church's seats. Members of the Armed Detective Agency are present. Kunikida is as composed as ever. Kyouka and Atsushi both looked at you with a smile on their lips, as well as Kenji, Yosano, and the President. Naomi and Junichiro, surprisingly, are well-behaved today, not causing any weird ruckus. Other employees are there too, including the clerks and the part-timers.   Finally, you're near and the figure of the man you loved grows clearer and clearer as time goes by until you didn't even realize that you're already there, standing face to face with him. As your eyes met, it seems like the whole world vanished. Everything vanished, only you and him remained in the realm that your heart created.   You heard him chuckle. You're quite worried though. Why? Because most of the time, he's faking it. Whenever he's at the agency, in front of the eyes of many, he tried to look happy, curving his lips upward and trying to portray the role of the clown. But… His eyes can't lie. It's empty. No matter how many smiles he gives. No matter how many laughs escape out of his lips, his eyes are always dull, monochromatic.   You mustered all of your courage and looked straight into his eyes and for the first time, you saw a glimmer of light.   A hand touched your cheek. No, your damped cheek. You're crying and he attempts to stop those tears with his bare finger but that only makes you much more emotional.   He looked away. "Please don't cry. I don't want to see you like this."   “Osamu…"   His first name escaped your lips which made him turned towards your direction again. He smiled, but this time, it's real. You can feel it.   "(Y/N)-chan~ Let's go?" He said while offering his hand. You accepted it and anchored yours in his.   Somehow, it feels so different. You were walking alone, but now, he's by your side, ready to walk with you towards the end.   You're no longer alone because he's already here.   The moment you and he reached the altar, the wedding song stopped and silence ensued. It's not an awkward silence but a comforting one.   The ceremony continues in solemn. Not a single soul inside that church wants to ruin this very special event, especially for you two. The minister gave his words of wisdom, talking about the real essence of being a married couple, and other things that might spark yours and his soul into living the rest of your lives together in each other's arms.   Throughout that sermon, he intertwined his hands with yours. You also did the same. The thought of letting go didn't even cross your mind. Both of you don't want to break free from that grasp as if your hands had already found the place where it truly belongs, and that is in Dazai's.   "Osamu Dazai, do you take (Y/N) to be your wife? Do you promise to be faithful to her in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love her and to honor her all the days of your life?"   He looked at you, straight into the eyes that he loved so much as if he's trying to tell you that you deserved to be happy, and you deserved the world. "I do."   "(Y/N), do you take Osamu Dazai to be your husband? Do you promise to be faithful to him in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love him and to honor him all the days of your life?"   `Likewise, you looked at his eyes, those once lackluster eyes that filled you with curiosity. But now, his eyes differ from before. His eyes that portrayed his lost hope disintegrated and are now renewed with a different hue.   You might try to lie and deny the truth, but an irreversible fact remained.   You love that hue so much.   It's blinding, but you can't take your eyes off it.   Now, back to the question at hand… can you live your whole life and devote your being towards that man?   He, who killed a hundred.   He, who is undoubtedly a huge ball of mess.   He, who can't even make a single step forward.   He, who hated himself and wanted to end his existence.   Can you give your heart to someone like that?   No, it doesn't matter anymore. The moment you looked into his eyes, it's more than enough. Because that look is what you're longing to see, and what you want to look at for the rest of your life.   And that's when you realized that you've fallen too deep. Can you possibly escape now? No, not anymore. You can't. And even if you can, you choose not to, because that world that you've fallen into is a thousand times better than the surface.   The world is so so loud, but he's the one who listened when everybody else had plugged their ears.   The world is so so chaotic, but in him, you found peace and solace.   Now… How can you not love a man like that?   He's struggling.   He's doing his best.   He's trying to heal his scars little by little until those things that made him remember what type of person he was cease existing.   He's trying to free himself from the chains of his tainted past.   And most importantly, he had done a great job, of keeping himself breathing no matter how much he despised living.   And you're proud of him for that.   He's such a warrior, a strong warrior.   There's this feeling of wanting to go back in time and meet the old Dazai, the Dazai that was left alone in the darkness. You want to praise him and to thank him… for hanging on for quite some time.   And with just two words, you gave him the reassurance that he needs, that you're going to stay by his side forever, accepting him for who he is and who he wants to become.   "I do." You said while smiling at him.   After all those years of seeking, he finally found a person who loves him, no matter how much tainted his past was.   And now… He's grateful. If he can meet his old self, he wants to say, "Thank you… for keeping yourself alive."   After the wedding vows and the exchange of rings, the ceremony is coming to an end.   "And now… by the power vested in me, I hereby pronounce you as husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."   The next moment happens in just a blink of an eye.   Dazai leaned forward and inched closer to you.   "I love you," he whispered before claiming your lips. And here you are, unconsciously responding to its movement.   A round of claps echoed but both of you couldn't hear anything. It seems like the whole world went silent and that moment belongs to you and him alone.   Now, Dazai felt it for the very first time. The darkness surrounding him dissipates, and he was embraced by a white, bright light.   Yes, living in the world of light is possible and he's the living proof.   ***   "(Y/N)…?" White beds scattered in that small room, along with other medical equipment. "… But didn't she died one year ago?"   Nakahara Chuuya asked the man beside him.   "That's right, Chuuya-kun," Mori Ougai, the incumbent port mafia boss and an ex-doctor replied.   They both looked at the man sitting on one of the beds. His brown hair remained unkempt and his gaze is so distant, but his eyes are still bright.   He's there, but at the same time, he's not.   "Then… Why did he keep on uttering his departed lover's name?"   Mori looked at Dazai's current state. He's so far from that renowned and feared 'Demon Prodigy of the Port Mafia.'   Where did that pair of sinister eyes go?   It vanished into existence.   Mori let out an exasperated sigh. "He's beyond salvation."   Chuuya and Mori looked at Dazai who's currently residing in his fantasies.   In the world that his mind created, you and he continued to live on, had a family, and spent the rest of your lives in each other's arms, just like what you promised to him on your wedding day.   Dazai's eyes are still covered with that white, blinding light, completely devoid of any darkness.   But the source of that light is now non-existent.   -END-