Love Unexpectedly

Chapter 12 - Cassandra

I'm standing in the hallway mouth agape. I'm utterly lost for words.

"Are you okay Cassy?"

I look at Alexander. "What is going on? What's all this?" I demanded.

"What do you mean?" He looks at me innocently.

"Really? Now you will pretend like nothing is amiss?"

I look at the table for two in front of us with candles and flowers. "Are you having a dinner date after we do the deed?" That's really an asshole move. And why do I feel jealous? I shouldn't be! After this, we'll go back to our normal life like nothing happened.

"Well, actually yes. It depends if she wants it before or after though." He looks at me smiling boyishly.

"What?"

"You mean to say this is for me?" I asked him with bewilderment.

He nods once. "Yup!" No, no, no!

"No!" I said immediately.

"What? Why?" He looks confused.

Feeling exasperated. "We agreed Alexander! This is just a one night stand! Not a date!" I exclaimed.

"You did but I didn't! You, simply assumed!" He points out.

This is not what I want! If we do this, emotions will come and I don't want to risk my heart just to be trampled all over again. I'm even doing us a favor.

"We don't need this!" I said referring to the fiasco in front of us. 

"We'll simply do it and I'll leave right away. You said you want to help me! This..." pointing to the dinner table "is unnecessary and stupid!"

He steps closer to me with blazing eyes. Oh! Did I say something? Why is he so furious now? I step back a little.

"So you're saying I'll just f**k you and then throw you out when I'm done? Is that what you want Cassandra?" He practically spits every word out.

Alexander looks so feral like anytime now he'll show his canine and eat me alive.

"Yee...ye...yess..." I stuttered feeling my heart jumps in my throat.

He didn't say anything else just growled and turns around.

"Alexander! Whe...where are you going?"

He whirls back and looked at me ferociously. "You want to f**k right? I'll be in my room!" Then he strides towards his room.

Oh my god! Should I follow him? He looks really angry. I've never seen him that angry. 

Don't go Cassandra he looks like he wants to strangle you! My mind warned me.

I know he wouldn't do that. But what if he does? I shouldn't have told my bodyguard to not wait for me. We both trusted Alexander that he didn't mind or question me further. I just told him that Alexander will send me home later and he simply agreed. Ugh! So much for being a bodyguard. Now the next time he'll see me I will be in a big black bag lying somewhere in a ditch.

Anyway, I don't have a choice now. I'm already here I can't prolong this any longer. I followed him with unsteady feet. I'm not certain what will happen when I enter the room, nevertheless, I braced myself for the onslaught.

I saw Alexander sitting on a single couch near the bed. 

"Alexander?" I called his name timidly.

"Get in!" Apparently, he's still mad at me. I thought delaying for a little bit will make his anger subside. I guess I was wrong.

I got in and close the door. I walk and stand in front of him waiting for his...his...what? Instruction? Oh god!

He's still sitting on the couch without moving an inch.

"Strip!" He barked the word with a voice so rough and cold.

"What?" Did he just say strip?

"I said strip!" He looks at me with a fire burning in his eyes.

I gulp. Is this right? Why is he acting this way? 

Oh, you brought this to yourself, Cassandra! My mind scolded me.

"Alexander I..."

"Strip Cassandra! Now!" I jump a little.

This is what I want right?

With trembling hands, I deliberately remove my wrap dress and let it drop on the floor. I hope this will be over soon.

His hard eyes are raking me up and down, scrutinizing every inch of me. I squirmed inside feeling self-conscious.

"Remove everything, Cassandra." He instructed.

Feeling anxious and scared, I slowly remove my bra and panty including my shoes. Now I'm standing fully naked. My hands are trying to cover myself.

"Don't cover yourself! Go and lie on the bed." 

I was going to complain but when I look into his eyes I decided to just follow him.

Still trembling, I lay on his bed. I feel so exposed. 

"Now, do you still want this Cassandra?" Though he's staring coldly at me, I can still hear the tenderness in his voice.

I don't know why but I just nod at him. I thought he would calm down but he's angrier than ever.

He discards his clothes in record time. "Open your legs."

"Alexander?" I looked at him with wide eyes.

"I said open your legs, Cassandra!"

When I open my legs he was on top of me in seconds. He didn't kiss me or even look at me. He just enters me forcefully. But before he can fully penetrate I flinched and push him hard. 

"Stop!" I cried out.

I turned to my right when he's weight lifted from me. Oh my God! That really hurts! Why is he doing this to me? I thought he said he was going to be gentle, to take it slow. 

I didn't notice I was shaking and crying uncontrollably until he said my name.

"Cassy? f**k! f**k! f**k!"

"Cassy, I'm sorry! s**t! I'm so sorry!"

"I didn't think! Please forgive me!"

I can hear Alexander frantically begging and calling my name from the background. But I couldn't stop crying. I'm just so terrified and all I feel is pain.

He wraps me in a blanket and sits beside me. "Cassy! Please don't cry. I didn't... I shouldn't have...Shit! I'm truly sorry!"

I was just crying and didn't say anything. After I calm down a little I decided to get dressed and go home. I'll just hide in my own room and never leave.

I stand up and almost crumpled but Alexander catches me before I fall flat on the floor. My legs are shaky and I feel a little pain in my private part. I winced a little.

"Here, sit down for a while. I'll prepare a warm bath okay." I didn't answer nor look at him.

After a while, I can hear the water running in the bathroom. Should I leave now while he's not here? 

Yeah, if you can walk. My mind says angrily. 

Anger? Am I angry? With whom? Even my conscience is angry. 

Sighing. I'm not even sure if I'm angry with him for treating me like this or with myself because I let him treat me like this? My thoughts and feelings are in a jumble right now. 

I'm just staring into the abyss lost in my own thoughts when Alexander called me.

"Cassy, I'll carry you okay. The bath is ready." He informed me carefully like I might break if he does something wrong. 

I still didn't answer him. I don't know how to talk to him either.

He carried me gently towards his bathroom and puts me inside the tub. 

"Is the temperature okay?" When I didn't answer he continues. "Well, I'll be outside if you need anything okay." And then he left me to my own devices.

I replayed what happened earlier. 

I can't believe I allowed that to happen. 

I can't believe Alexander did that to me. 

Yes, I told him there will be no feelings involved but I didn't expect it to be like that. 

Is that what usually happens to people who decide a f**k and go commitment? I'm not entirely certain but if it is I didn't like it! Not one bit!

So, it's true then about that percentage thing of being a virgin. What's my percentage? Twenty percent or did I reached fifty? He didn't enter fully though. Right? I'm not entirely sure because it's still hurt and my legs feel like jelly.

A lot of things are running in my mind that I didn't realize the water has gone a little cold. So I decided to step out and reach for the towel. I dried myself and wear the bathrobe that I found in the bar holder since my clothes are probably still scattered in the bedroom. 

I'm hesitant to go out. I don't know what to expect when I see him again. But since I can't just stay in this bathroom forever I decided to be brave and face my problem head-on.

When I open the door the room is empty. Did he left? Did he decided to stay away from me now? I notice my clothes are nowhere in sight but there is a pair of t-shirt and sweatpants neatly folded on the bed.

Is that for me? Did he place it here for me to wear? 

I look around. Well, no one is here to ask so I suppose I'll wear it. Besides, I don't think I can wear my dress again without remembering what happened earlier. I shudder. 

When I got dressed I see the t-shirt looks too big, it reached just the middle of my thigh. While I have to roll the sweatpants' waistband a couple of times so it won't look too baggy.

Feeling almost normal again, I walk towards the balcony. As I open the curtains I saw the same dinner table which was in the hall minus the candles and flowers. It has two covered plates, chilled wine, and utensils.

"Cassy!" A low and hesitant voice called me from behind. I jumped and turn around.

Alexander was standing near the bed wearing the same clothes as mine, a t-shirt and sweatpants. 

"Sorry!" He said sheepishly. "I...I didn't mean to startle you!"

I didn't respond. I just look back to the balcony, looking at the table arrangement outside.

"Oh! Ah...yes! I thought you might be hungry? So I ask Ralph to help me transfer it here."

"I hope you don't mind. I.., I just want to talk and I guess we'll have more privacy here. My bodyguard is a little nosy you know!" He clarified while massaging the back of his neck. Did he made a joke?

He looks forlorn and uneasy though. Is he sorry about what happened between us? Is he worried I might bolt and never talk to him again? What is he thinking now?

I'm determined to know everything, so I went out of the balcony and sits on the chair.

He followed and sits opposite mine. He then uncovers both plates. Steak and grilled shrimps. Hmmm. It smells really good. My stomach growled quietly. I guess I need to eat. At least my stomach will not be miserable.

Hmmm..delicious! Did he cooked this? 

"This is good." I said breaking the silence. "Did you cook this?"

"Uhh...well Mrs. Rodriguez cooked it but I help prepare the table." He explained. If we are in a different situation I would think he's being sweet.

I'm not sure if I'm just hungry or Alexander's cook/housekeeper is simply amazing. No wonder our parents always prefer to have a family dinner here rather than my place. Mrs. Rodriguez prepares the most sumptuous meals. 

"Well, please tell her I enjoyed the food. It's really good. You should include this shrimp when our parents decide to have dinner here next time." I smiled faintly.

Alexander looks at me with less uncertainty. "Yes, that would be great."

We kept to ourselves for the rest of the dinner and just savoring the food. 

"Do you want more wine?"

"Yes please!" I guess I needed more wine in order to survive this night.

"Ah...Are you comfortable with your clothes? I don't have any clothes for women here so I merely guess you'll be okay with my shirt and pants."

"I put your clothes in the wash while you're in the bathroom. It will be ready for a few more minutes."

"Oh! This is okay. Yes, I'm comfortable. Thank you."

We were quiet again. I was lost in my thoughts and just staring at the stars when he spoke.

"Casey, I... I know what I did was inexcusable and unjustifiable. I'll never forgive myself for hurting you like that." He locked his eyes on mine showing how ashamed he is.

"You can lash at me all you want. Hurt me! Punch me! Kick me! Do whatever you want and I will not stop you."

"I don't know why you even stayed. I thought after your bath I would find you in my door ready to leave." He said looking remorseful.

"Why?" I interject before he can continue.

"What?"

"Why?" I look at him with watery eyes. "Why did you...I...I don't...understand." I croaked, not able to form words coherently. I just feel so down and betrayed. 

"I...I'm sorry Cassy. I was irritated and angry when you keep on insisting to make this just a one night stand. When you said that back in your estate I thought you were not serious. That...that you were just playing with me."

"Hell, I don't know but I thought,  maybe if you see me and see what I prepared for you tonight, it would change your mind."

"I didn't expect you to be mad about my plan. I didn't expect for you to continue with...with your plan." He reasoned though I can see in his eyes that he had lost and failed.

"I became furious. I thought I'll just play along and gives you what you want. I didn't expect you to do everything I say."

"And when I ask if you still want to continue you just nod. You f*****g nod as if you're not trembling under me with fear in your eyes!" I don't know what to say. My heart is beating faster, my palms are sweaty. Does he even notice how anxious I am right now?

"So I lost it, Cassy. I...fuck! I'm sorry. God, Cassy I'm so sorry!"

Then you should have stopped when you notice me trembling. My mind argued while tears are running in my eyes.

"I couldn't stop Cassy!" He continued to talk but he's not looking at me anymore. Like he's back to that time again. "I keep on thinking what if you asked someone else? What if you did it with someone that isn't me? What if he'll hurt you and I wasn't there?" 

He paused for a minute looking so desperate and sad.

"But f**k!" He looked at me again. "I...but I did Cassy! I hurt you and I'm so sorry!" I thought I saw a tear in his eyes. He scrubs his face with both his hands looking so frustrated.

"I shouldn't have urged you!" I finally admitted.

He looks back at me. "Cassy..." He's starting to shake his head.

No! No Alexander! This is as much as my fault as it is yours. I pushed...I provoked you! 

"I know you, Alexander. I know you wouldn't hurt me like that." And I started to sob again. I'm never a crybaby in front of anyone even with my parents. I don't usually show my weakness to people. But this time I couldn't stop it.

"I completely acted like a spoiled brat! I am a stupid, selfish, insensitive b***h!"

"Casey, love!" He came closer and crouch beside me. He took my hands gently and look into my eyes. "You are a spoiled brat."

"Hey!" I protested

He chuckled lowly. "But! But you are not stupid or selfish and definitely not an insensitive b***h either. Don't sell yourself short."

"But...."

"Ah...Let me finish first." He shushed me before I can say anything further.

"It's solely my fault Cassy. I could have stopped it. I could have turned you down. I could have sent you home. But I didn't. I gave in to my emotions."

"I thought...I thought I could teach you a lesson for being stubborn." He look down. "It was wrong...so wrong!"

"Casey I honestly didn't mean it to happen. And I know I've already said it so many times but I'm really sorry. And I will say it over and over again until you will forgive me." He looks at me with so much tenderness that I swear I thought I might melt.

I don't know what to respond to that so I just hug him. I think both of us were at fault and I'm not the kind of person that holds grudges for a long time.

After a while, Alexander invited me to sleep in one of his spare rooms. I'm not sure why he insisted but I decided to stay. I guess I don't want to be alone tonight.

But I don't know what came over me when I ask him if I could sleep in his room. He was surprised and I thought he would say no but then he agreed. 

After a few minutes of lying on the bed, I still couldn't sleep. I'm actually conscious of Alexander lying next to me. And every time I close my eyes I could picture what happened earlier. Ugh! why did you agree to sleep here, Cassandra?

I know I shouldn't be sleeping here with him but if I think of sleeping alone...

"Can't sleep?" I was cut off from my own thoughts.

"Hmmm..."

I can hear the rustling of the blanket and I notice that he is near me.

"Cassy?"

"Hmmm?"

"Can I hug you?"

What? Why is he asking me? Should I allow him? Why would I even allow him?

"Okay," I said in a small voice. Cassandra, I think you are simply losing your mind!

In a second I can feel him getting more closer to me. My body became stiff, like I'm anticipating for someone to strike me. 

When his hand came around me and pulled my body closer to his I thought I would react badly but to my surprise, I feel comfortable in his embrace like I belong here. My body relaxes from his touch.

"Goodnight love!"

"Night Alexander!"

I stayed awake for a little while and eventually fell asleep.