Changing Her Stars

Chapter Ten

Speechless. She was utterly lost for words. The man holding her was filled with such worry for her, such tenderness and care for her. And yet, she couldn’t help but recall how not even 24 hours earlier, he hadn’t given her a second look or said a single word to her. He had been deliberately cold towards her. How could this man be both warm and cold to her? It confused her more than anything else.

“You feel pity for me, m’lord, not care.”

Leira could taste the bitterness in her words, as they left a disgusting feeling on her tongue. However, she didn’t allow herself to feel sorry for telling the truth. She couldn’t.

“That’s an interesting view,” he replied slowly, carefully choosing each word. “You seem to know more about my emotions than I do.”

“How am I supposed to think otherwise when you completely ignored me last night?” she retorted, unable to stop herself.

The atmosphere turned tense, and she heard him take in a sharp breath.

“You’re right. I shouldn’t have acted so childishly. I shouldn’t have ignored you like that.”

Staring at his shirt, Leira traced an imaginary pattern with her eyes. She didn’t know how to respond to such a statement. In fact, she couldn’t remember the last time a man had truly apologized to her. So, she stayed quiet.

“I… want to be a good husband to you, Leira. It seems that I don’t know how to do that for you. Would you be willing to help me?”

She looked up at him, surprised. “You… do…?”

“Yes.”

Biting her bottom lip, Leria looked back down at his shirt. “You baffle me, are you aware of that?”

“Oh? How so?”

“Well, for starters, you say things like that.”

He raised an eyebrow at her. “Things like how I want to be a good husband?”

She nodded.

“How is that baffling?”

“You don’t need to be a good husband to me,” she said barely over a whisper. “No one would fault you for it.”

` He sighed. “That may be true, but I do recall saying that I wanted to be a good husband to you, not that I need to be.”

She could feel him getting frustrated with her, which allowed her the realization that she needed to end the conversation. Speaking her thoughts would bring nothing but strife for them both.

“Okay,” she replied, thinking only of changing topics.

“...That’s it?”

Looking back up, she saw him pouting at her. His expression was not something she was expecting, especially since he looked like a forlorn puppy. This man’s mood swings were giving her whiplash.

“Then I guess I’ll have to do it the old fashioned way.”

“Do what?” she asked, intrigued.

“I’m going to have to woo my own wife, and if she won’t give me any hints, then I’ll have to figure it all out on my own.”

“Well, good luck with that, then,” she half-smirked.

Pursing his lips, he thought for a moment before questioning, “Tell me one thing you want. Anything in the world.”

“A-anything?”

“Yes!” the duke exclaimed cheerfully. “Anything I can make happen.”

“Um,” Leira attempted, trying to decide the best way to phrase what she was thinking.

“Go on.”

She averted her eyes from his, which were imploring her to continue. “You see, there is one thing that I may like or want or that could be helpful. Or rather, that’s to say that if you could make this happen, I would, um…”

Using his fingers to gently rest on her chin, he tilted her face up to his, locking their eye contact. “It’s not like you to beat around the bush, Leira. Just tell me what you want.”

“Do you think you could find Ezair and assign him as a personal guard for me?” she asked sheepishly.

The dark look in his eyes that clouded over the previously playful one simultaneously frightened her while telling her his answer. She knew it was a long shot to ask, especially after his reaction with the prince the other day; however, she had been hoping that since he wanted to get her something that he would cave to her request.

But, it hadn’t.

The duke was clearly upset with her, which became even more pronounced when he left the bed moments later. He quickly dressed without a word and slammed the door shut when he exited the room. She winced at the noise and sat up slowly.

After an hour, both of them sat quietly and slightly uncomfortably across from one another in plush, grey chairs in front of a fireplace. Leira could easily see how in the winter months, this would be an extremely cozy spot to curl up in and relax. However, the atmosphere was anything but relaxing. This wasn’t how she thought her honeymoon week would go, and it was apparent that neither did the duke.

The remnants of breakfast were strewn over the table in between them, and they each were avoiding the eye contact of the other. Neither had uttered a word during the meal.

“So…” the duke began and eyed her light yellow, tea length gown that had small, puffy sleeves which fell off her shoulders and how her hair was pinned back away from her face.

She felt self-conscious.

“You want me to hire that rogue, hmm?”

She nodded timidly. Though she wanted to defend Ezair from the brash assumption, she didn’t dare with his sour mood.

“How can I even find him? Do you have any leads?”

Leira’s head instantly shot up and she met the duke’s fierce gaze. He had been waiting for her reaction, and she had just given herself away.

“He means a lot to you, then,” he muttered, seemingly to no one in particular. “I suppose this could go two ways, now that I know that.”

Unsure of how to respond, which she recognized happened to her a lot around the duke, she kept her mouth shut. Leira didn’t want to say anything that may sway him from agreeing to her request. She silently cursed the prince for bringing Ezair’s name up, for it had created unnecessary assumptions.

“If I do this,” he paused dramatically. “What do I get in return?”

“What do you want?”

He grinned at her like a fox, and she was the rabbit. “Is he really worth giving in to whatever my price is?”

Swallowing nervously, she tried to think of a way out of his trap. She was sure that his intentions weren’t entirely sincere. Now that he knew she wanted something, he could use this against her. It was only natural, especially for someone who was used to negotiation.

Against her better judgment, she chose to be honest. “Yes, I think he is, so whatever it is, I’ll do it.”

“Even if it is humiliating?”

“I’ve endured many things over the years, m’lord. I am well aware of my position here. I will do whatever it is you ask of me.”

She watched him work his jaw, though she could not deduce the reason behind it.

“Alright. You’ll owe me a favor then, if I decide to adhere to your request, and it can be called in at any time, and you must do whatever it is I say.”

“I agree to your terms, if you so wish to do so. Would you like a written contract?” she asked, forcing her voice to remain even.

She couldn’t put her finger on it, but the entire conversation made her feel distant from him. It was as if he saw her as one of his associates or an underling he needed to battle. His face was a mask she couldn’t read, and so, in response, she attempted to mirror him.

“Take a walk with me,” he said abruptly. “It’s probably one of the few remaining sunny days we have left in the season.”

“As you wish, m’lord.”

The duke opened his mouth, but then closed it just as quickly. Standing, he walked over to the door, waited for her, and then escorted her out into the gardens.

He had been right. The day was pleasantly warm with a few clouds dotting the blue sky. It wasn’t too hot, but it certainly wasn’t chilly. She had one hand wrapped into the crux of his arm and they wandered through the gardens together.

“I think it’s time to address it.”

“Address what?”

“How I found you in a cell at your father’s house on the brink of death.”

Leira felt her face drain of color and her stomach tied itself up into knots. Though she figured that this topic would eventually come up between them, she hadn’t ever prepared herself for it. How could she? If the duke knew that was how her father treated her, would he leave her? Would he see that she wasn’t enough and was just a failure?

“That’s, um, sometimes my father can lose his temper, so–” she began, flustered.

“You were beaten, Leira. I find it hard to believe that he didn’t know what was happening and simply lost his temper in a fit of rage. Had I not come to get you when I did, I don’t know what would have happened to you!”

Her heart beat furiously. “It’s all a misunderstanding!”

“A misunderstanding? How can you call it that? How can you defend that man?!”

“M’lord!”

“Damn it! It’s Rin! For the love of everything, it’s f*****g Rin, Leira! Please!”

Tears sprang to her eyes as she stepped back from him. His face wore a scowl and he was glaring at her, rage evident in his eyes. He had raised one hand in the air, and she had flinched away from him out of instinct, creating space between them.

“Did–did you think I was going to hit you?” he then asked, completely perplexed by her.

“I–I…” she tried, her mind going blank.

She did believe that he would hit her. It was her natural conclusion.

“You know what? It’s fine. Forget I said anything. What’s done is done.”

She watched him stomp away from her. For every sweet moment they shared, it seemed as though they created unpleasant memories in its place.

Leira didn’t hear from him that night and was placed back into the navy room she had spent her time recovering in. And, when she woke up the next morning, she was informed that the duke had left on a business trip.