Broken

Chapter one

Depression is something too many people take for granted it's only recognized after the person takes their own life.

Tanya's POV

It's happening again I could hear her whispers. the darkness and the fear that comes with every step she makes I want to get her out of my head but it's impossible I'm right where she wants me. alone! there is no one stopping her from digging her claws into me and she whispered the sweet words that she has poison not only my brain but every part of me. I'm so afraid to be alone I'm terrified of her. I call her Tessy but you might know her as depressed. she whispered softly in my ears.

"you are nothing," the tears flow out my eyes slowly and steadily as a stream.

"No one wants you," she whispered again and my tears turn into a raging river.

" Your father left you because you are nothing but garbage," my body begins to shake like an earthquake but she didn't stop there she wanted more she wanted blood.

"kill yourself!" she shouted.

"NO! NO! NO!" I shouted while shaking my head.

"do it now !" the voice shouted again.

I looked at the razor not too far from me.  it shined as the sun reflected off of it.

"cut yourself. end it all no one won't even miss you," it whispered so softly and calmly and I wanted to end this pain I wanted to say goodbye to all of this so I grabbed the razor.

"cut deep so you die fast," the voice whispered.

I put the razor against my palm...

"Am home!" my Mom shouted from the living room. I jumped up from my space on the ground and quickly washed my tear-stained face. I looked at myself in the mirror and painted on the beautiful smile that everyone sees.

I then put on light makeup to hide my puffy eyes and headed downstairs.

I looked in the living room for my mother but she wasn't there.

I then headed for the kitchen. that is where I saw her.

"Why are you not ready for school?" my mom asked.

"I'm going to get ready right now," I said softly.

"As you can see I just got home from work so I can't drive you to school today honey."

It felt weird hearing my mother calling me honey. She has long stopped using sweet names after my father left us those years ago.

"I'm going to get ready now," I said smiling and hurrying upstairs.

I got into my room and closed the door. my eyes scanned my brightly painted yellow room. from my beautifully garnish dresser draws to my pure white bed with a yellow and green spread. I walked over to my bed to scan for my blue skinny jeans and blue "I LOVE CATS" shirt. I hurry to put on my clothes. 

I have no time today to flat iron my hair so I grabbed the blow dryer and my comb. I had thick blackish brown unruly hair it fits perfectly with my caramel color skin, I wasn't thin or was I fat I was a perfect size, I have curves in all the right places and my eyes were the part of my body I loved the most my eyes was cognac brown.

I blow-dried my hair and began combing and brushing it in one. When I was done my hair gave me a cute puff at the top of my head. My hair was too thick so I couldn't do the normal ponytail.

I'm not really a girly girl so I put on my black and white retro 8 Jordan. then did a final look in the mirror and head downstairs I quickly grabbed an apple and ran out.

"Bye, mom!"

"Bye honey!"

the day was sunny not even a cloud was in the sky. I looked over at my neighbor's yard watching some of the most handsome boys running out and laughing. I shook my head they might be good-looking but they were too childish for me.

I slowly began to make my way to the bus stop where I would be catching the school bus since my car is in the shop.

"hey, beautiful do you need a ride?"

A red 2010 mustang gt500 pulled over with my neighbors Sam and James.

"no thanks, I'm good I'll walk," I said as polite as I could.

"you're lost," Sam said from the driver's side and drove off loudly and fast.

I continued my walk.

as I slowly approached the bus stop I could see that it was filled with students that go to my school. I really didn't want to catch the bus I wish I could be saved.

that was when I heard music from behind me when I looked back I saw a pink car coming towards me. 

my wish was answered it was my best friend's car.  I waved my hand so she could see me .she then spotted me and pulled over.

"Why are you at the bus stop?" she asked 

"My mother couldn't drop me and remember my car is down until next week," I reminded her.

"Oh yea hop in," she said.

I didn't even waste any time I jumped in the car and we were off to school. I love my best friend she's so crazy. We sang along to our new favorite song.

'I know that I can treat you better .better than he can 'blasted through the radio.

And we both sang along with or terrible voices. laughing in between.

we have been best friends since Kerry first moved here which is four years ago. we did almost everything together.

Kerry is built like a model with her long legs, she also has long blond silky hair, she was naturally beautiful and didn't wear much makeup.   

In a matter of minutes, we were driving into the school's parking lot.

I opened the door and stepped out and Kerry did the same. eyes watched us from every angle as hawks looking for their next prey. I put on my school bag and held my head high and began walking to the entrance. people around us weren't only watching us but were whispering to each other. I'm very popular at school I'm the captain of the cheerleader squad, I'm also the student body president and I'm also dating one of the hottest guys.

We both held our heads high and walked through the hallway as it belongs to us. I stopped at my locker which's right next to Kerry's own. I took out my first-period books. I'm not planning to come back here after homeroom.

"Tanya! I forgot to tell you the story my mother told me last night with my Dad and her."

"What story?"I asked amused 

"you know my family is into pranks right ?"

"yes," I answered getting more interested.

"my mom was laying on the bed.." my friend said laughing already.

"my father...." she says laughing again.

"tell me you're wasting my time," I shout.

 "my father came into the room when my mother was lying down. he-ee just came out of the shower and he..." she began to laugh again.

" Kerry really stops laughing," I said laughing myself.

"he farted in her face and all the water from his wet a*s got on her face," she said laughing. she even began coughing.

"Ewww," I said laughing with her.

I couldn't stop myself from laughing I can't believe he did that.

Kerry stopped laughing and was looking behind me seriously as if she saw something she didn't want to.  

"Hello, beautiful." I knew who exactly it was even though my back was turned 

"Hi handsome," I told my boyfriend Jake as I close my locker. His blond hair looking messy as if he just rolled out of bed but that's what makes him sexy. His plum pink lips claim mine just as it always does. He kissed me harshly as if he was trying to prove something. I pulled away and looked at him giving him a questioning look. All he did was kiss me again but much softer.

"I have to go see you later Tan," Kerry said to me as if she was in a hurry but we have the same first-class.

"Kerry where you going ?" I called out but she didn't look back

the bell rang signaling the start of school.

"see you at lunch babe," kissing me one last time.

the classes were long and boring I couldn't wait until it was lunch. I watched the clock as it slowly ticked by.

"Tanya the board is not by the clock ." my math teacher said in an angry tone.

when lunch finally came around and I was so happy.

I was the first person to be out of the class. 

and I made my way to the cafeteria.