Hidden Sanity

5 o’clock in the afternoon Jack awoke, his eyes slowly came to focus on the naked bulb above. He was dimly aware of his body being rigid and straight - no movement possible. Pulling his head upward, he could see thick straps over his arms and legs. Saliva pooled in the back of his throat and he swallowed, panicked. More saliva came and over and over he drank it down so as not to panic. He twisted his limbs, turning them, feeling the friction of the fabric against his skin. In that place time was marked by the coming of meals and the medications. Never was there anything good, anything that would lift the spirits. Always there were the violent patients to steer clear of, or those that harbored grudges for obscure reasons. Behind his locked doors and barred windows, time slowed - the clock ticking out the moments lost to just sitting and staring from one peeling poster to another. In here he had no rights. He cannot leave. He cannot choose when to rise or the time at which he may go to bed. He cannot refuse the poisons that make his mind slow to the point of stopping and cease every emotion. The rooms have no handles and are sheets of smooth metal aside from the window staff peer through.  A doctor entered his room bringing a syringe with him together with a pill and a glass of water. The doctor said “Here, Jack. Drink your medicine.” Two people came behind the doctor after he finished his statement. Jack stared at him, recognizing the face that he used to see but can’t remember. He can’t restore information in his mind for so long.  The medicines probably made his memory shorter. He tilted his head a little bit, making a weird look to the doctor. Then the two people behind him instantly moved like they were preparing themselves in case Jack gets uncontrolled again. Jack looked at them too and smirked. There isn't a person in there who isn't at least a little afraid of him - him who is soft and gentle. Crazy is crazy and the staff are the worst for carrying that stigma. He was one of the most dangerous patients around because of his impulsive nature. A lot of blood has gone through his hands. His plans were scarier, darker like criminals’. But the way he looks was the most deceiving of all. He looked stable when you look at him at the first meeting. He was very good at hiding his madness that normal people won’t be able to decode what goes in and what doesn’t. One person removed the thick straps and freed him for a while. He was sitting on his bed, guarded by multiple eyes, watching him, CCTV pointing at him, recording every move he makes… He can feel their eyes moving as he moves. He can feel all their deadly stares.  Jack stretched his arm and reached for the pill from the tray that the doctor was holding. He swallowed it and drank the water without hesitation. Then after he drank the medicine, the doctor held the syringe and said “This will hurt a little.” He pumped the liquid inside. Jack said “That’s for?” “Calming your nerves…  3 hours from now, the medicine will lose its effect. We’ll be checking you out every 3 hours from now.” “For?” “For your safety.” “I am safe.” “You are not safe.” “How could I not be? I’m inside this room. You got all the cameras recording me…” The doctor looked at him seriously and said “You don’t get it Jack. You, yourself, are dangerous. You Are Not Safe.” “Well…” “I want you to keep calm while I inject this medicine to you, because this is for your better condition. I guess you don’t know yourself that much Jack, you are not yourself when you don’t get injected.” “I’m not myself?” The doctor injected the medicine to his arm while he says, “Yes, it’s a different ‘you’, so you have to get this daily.” “What am I doing when I’m not me?” “Do I have to do this every day, Jack?” Doctor said as he chuckled. Jack looked at him with a blank expression in his eyes. The doctor saw that look from his eyes so he said “Alright then, I have to tell it all over again; You hurt a lot of people. And when I mean hurt, I meant you killed them.” “I kill people? How many people have I killed then?” “10 people. And now, you’re hunting for another one.” Jack looked at the floor and said “Will that be you?” “Don’t joke around, Jack. Or else I’m going to get this process done without doubt.” “You’re going to kill me right away?” He smiled. The doctor replied “If there’s nothing else I could do, I would. I’m serious about this. Don’t dare me. I have your life.” He gazed at the doctor’s eyes with such a creepy sense. “Don’t you just love the thrill of it?” There wasn't one word anyone confined could say that wouldn't be taken as insane. Every little thing was over scrutinized, every emotion taken as a sign of imbalance. The doctor said “Okay, Jack, check up is over, See you later, good bye.” while he gets the equipment and prepares to leave. Jack was still staring at him and he had that smile on his face that seemed to mean something. The doctor walked away with the two people behind him. He whispered to them, “It’s not safe here anymore. Let’s go now.” And they walked away quickly then closed the door of his room. The sudden change with the way he acted is visible through his suspicious smile. Anyone can tell the difference before and after.  He was now left in his room again. He stood up and roamed around each corner of his room. He thought “I’ve killed 10 people? Puny.” He looked in the mirror, combed his hair and just stared at his face for 1 minute. And then he saw a picture frame beside the mirror so it got his attention. It was a photo of a woman. He looked intently to her face and tried to remember if he knew her. He was clueless who that woman is and what her picture is doing in his room. He looked around his room and noticed that he had pictures of the same woman on his walls. Then he remembered what the doctor told him. He was hunting for another one. He touched the photo and smiled. Upon trying to remember the woman, his head started to ache severely. He closed his eyes and began pulling his hair from his head. He was in pain. He screamed like a helpless child. The memory of her flashed back to his mind. He shook his head so hard. He pictured out the woman in his mind, she was running in front of him. She was saying “Stop!” His vision of her blurred out and another memory came in, he was inside an office and the woman was sitting as she smiled bashfully at him. It was very chaotic that memories were coming back to his mind all at once. The pain became intolerable. He opened his eyes and shouted for help. “Help!” But no one heard him. He knelt down on the floor and curled his body while holding his head. His memory was coming back to him and it made him suffer so much, physically. It was an unimaginable pain, no one would dare to experience. After several minutes of severe headache, fortunately it faded off but now, he could feel his blood rushing through his veins so fast. He can’t explain what he’s feeling. It was probably the medicine fighting back his urges. His sight swirled, the surroundings spun round and round. Until, the door opened and the woman from the pictures on his walls entered his room. He paused a bit and looked at her. She said “What’s happening?” He tried to stand straight and said “Who are you?” “I’m Alice. Can’t you remember?” She smiled at him and spoke in the sweetest manner possible. He acted normal even if he’s visibly breathing so fast because of hyperactivity of his blood inside his body. He’s also sweating. Alice said “Are you okay?” She looked at him with shock in her eyes, as if everything was unexpected for her. Then she smiled again. Suddenly,  everything turned black. He just woke up so he asked right away, “Where’s Alice?” The female nurse said “Sir?” “Where is she?” “Sir, you need to get some rest.” “What happened? Why are you all here?” “You were screaming but you passed out. It’s a good thing you’re awake now.” “But what about the woman who came in? Where is Alice? Where did she go?” He looked so worried. The nurses just looked at each other. Jack said “What?” One of the male nurses said “Sir, no one is entering your room lately.” “You gotta be kidding. She just did lately!” “This room is locked sir. No one could enter here only but us.” “Code combination! Maybe she has those.” “The doctor only knows the code, sir.” “But I saw her here!” The other female nurse butted in and said, “You got to understand…  that your mental condition is different from the others. You’re seeing something that everyone doesn’t see.” “You mean…” “Yes, it didn’t happen for real.” He was dumbfounded. He said “It seemed so real.” “For you, it was.” He looked away from them and looked somewhere else. He suddenly spoke as if he was called to recite. “I’m a Chief Executive Officer of Def Media Corporation (DMC),beside the Empire State , 5th avenue East, 24th street, currently living in an apartment, a few streets away from our company building. I have 24 employees sharing the same ground with me in our building, one from those 24 is Alice Simone and all the others are below us. Alice Simone was my secretary. I grew old alone, thirsty for love. All I want is Alice-just her. My name is Jack Kinley, escaped in prison 8 years ago, rehabilitated 5 years ago, killed 10 people, all of them during night time. 4 of them are guys, Timothy Phillips, Jake Adams, Smith Billwyger and Harry Joe, then the 6 remaining are all girls…... Alex Morrison, Findy Cho, Jessie Fort, Sally Wyler, Ashley Bedingfield, Leighton Black and next will be………….. Alice Simone.” He paused for a bit. “Killing people was a pleasure, like a habit.” Then he looked at them and he slowly showed an evil smile. The nurses got scared. Therefore they concluded that he didn’t really forget anything, he was just playing with them. He was just acting like he was incapable of remembering because of the drugs he’s taking but truth is, he was just trying to test them.  Jack being serious was not scary, they say. Jack being playful was a dreadful threat. The nurses started to step backwards. The other one said, “You’re right.” Jack’s personality itself was tricky. The male nurse said “We’ll get back to you. Okay? Have you eaten your dinner?” “It’s getting late. Yes, please, give me something to eat. I’m hungry.” “Right away, sir.” They all went out of the room. And when they get back to his room with dinner in trays, they panicked. His room was cleared and he was not around anymore. They looked around his room while yelling “Doctor! He escaped!” Until one of the nurses heard a loud smash, she looked back. She saw the other nurses on the floor with blood in their necks. She screamed, wondering who did it and how could they all be dead so fast. Then she felt a breath from the back of her head. He whispered, “Oops. You forgot to lock the door, sweetie.” He held her head and twisted it immediately. He broke her neck. All the nurses were dead. He chuckled at the sight of dead people. Then he ran away from his room and sneaked out of the building immediately. “I never thought escaping would be that easy.” He ran through an alley then as he searched his way out, back to the city, back to the free way where there were a lot of people. He stopped running and just walked, as if no one’s going to chase after him. He went back to his apartment, remembering his passcode very well, changed clothes and went out the next day. He fixed his collar and his coat like a confident man. He was just all relaxed and calm, like nothing happened. He said “Now that I’m free, I can now have easier ways to find my target.” He hailed a cab. “Taxi!” The taxi stopped right in front of him. He said “Bring me to 5th avenue East, 24th street. Def Media Corporation building, please.” “Well yeah, sure thing.” The taxi driver replied. The taxi moved. He looked inside his bag and picked a picture. He said “Alice Simone…… I’ll be there.” Then he carved a smile on his lips, painting dark skies in his eyes.