Hidden Sanity

Darkest Secret

Jack immediately went his way back to Alice's house. He arrived and the first thing he witnessed was an anxious Alice.

He walked towards her and said, "Okay, calm yourself first... Breathe in, breathe out. Don't think of anything bad. Are we clear?"

"How could I friggin’ calm down in this situation?", Alice freaked out.

"Alice, what did I say?", his voice sounded so tough as if it proclaimed authority.

"What?" She replied in panic.

"I said don't think of anything bad, right? You're just doing the exact opposite of what I said." He held both sides of her shoulders and said "Calm down, okay? Calm down. You are not thinking well! So don't panic!"

Eventually, she calmed herself down. She was panting.

When Jack saw her contemptible condition, he wasn't able to help himself, so he hugged her tightly, aiming to make her feel the comfort. He kept on saying, "It's okay, Alice... It's gonna be okay."

Alice was never up to cuddles this time but she found herself wrapping her arms around Jack's back. She realized that she really couldn't resist his touch.

Just when she was tightening her grip to Jack's body, he said, "Would you like a cup of tea?"

"A tea?" She responded, not letting go.

"Yeah. Just for you to relax."

She didn't answer. She wanted to remain still, covered with his warm embrace.

"I'd make you one, come on...", he said as he slowly moved away from Alice. She was disappointed that the hug thing ended way too soon when she needed it the most. But she couldn't request, never in her lifetime came a time that she asked something like that to her boss. She never really did want her image looking like a desperate woman.

But not until Jack slid his arm to hers and held her hand as he walked toward the kitchen. She never felt so electrified by it. Perhaps because this is the first time that Jack ever held her with nothing but that simple physical contact. It's quite new but it felt like they've done it in ages.

He suddenly said without looking at her, "Know what, you're the first..."

"First to what?" She wondered.

"First woman I held hands with. I've never held hands with the girls I've dated in the past... I guess you're the only exception to that." He said unromantically but enough to make Alice smile and blush.

"Wow.", she said.

Jack looked back at her and a crooked smile appeared. "You don't believe me?"

"No! I do. It's just... so sweet... though you didn't sound sweet-ish. But I think... I think it's cute."

He laughed very manly. "Tell me more." He faced her and held both of her hands. Both of them, leaning their hips on the kitchen counter's edge. "What do you see me as? What am I to you?" His face showed eagerness and interest to know about her thoughts.

"Why?"

"I just want to know how I was in another person's perspective."

"Well..." She stared at his eyes that were sincerely looking at her eyes as if they were asking for something good to come out of her mouth. He had that small grin on his face. Very appealing.

She stuttered because of Jack's stare. "I am...I-I mean, you..." It wasn't much of a big deal, heck it wasn't supposed to be because she saw his face almost every time in the office. His stare wasn't something to be taken as a big deal because first, he usually does that to her and second, because they already had s*x so what's the consciousness about.

"I couldn't describe you yet. Wouldn't it be too early? Shall we know each other well first?"

Jack's face seemed to have so much discontentment with her answer. He said "Any judgment? First impression? Anything?"

"OK. So you want my first impression? I.... Uh, how do I say this..... A creep?" She said straightforwardly.

He raised both of his eyebrows as if he wasn't expecting that kind of answer from her. It gave him seconds before he could talk back. It shocked him a lot, maybe. "A creep?" He chuckled. "Really? A creep huh? You mean... an annoyingly unpleasant and repulsive person? Wow. Didn't see that coming." He sounded so offended.

"I'm sorry. You asked for it. I just took it off my mind."

Jack removed his one hand from Alice's and he covered his mouth with his hand clenched facing sideways in Alice's viewpoint and he looked like he was resisting himself to laugh. Alice smiled, very glad to know that Jack wasn't really someone who'll take her words seriously.

"I'm better at this, come on... Get used to it.", she said with a charming smile on her face, joking maybe.

Jack hung open his mouth like he wanted to say something but couldn't at the second. His ego was a little bit stepped on by it. His smile was stuck on his face. He was really challenged to know a strong woman like her. Alice was waiting for his words so then he finally spoke, "How about... running a company?"

Alice laughed so loud at his reply. She knew she couldn't easily win against him at this.

Jack took the chance to stare at her face while she's busy laughing. When she's nearly done laughing, Jack said, "Alice..." with calmness in his voice. The mood changed through the tone of his voice when he called her name.

She looked at him. She didn't say anything. She just gave him her full attention.

"I'll make a tea.", he said. So randomly enticing. It must be his composure at the moment that made her feel so attracted even though his words don't really denote any connection to whatever they're talking about. But his tone of voice was so inviting that she just agreed to it right away. Jack gently let go of her hand and faced back. He said, "You could sit on the sofa and wait until the tea is done."

"Or I could just stay here and watch you make one?" She bit her lower lip while flashing an innocent smile.

Jack looked back at her, gave an intent look to her eyes and then he suddenly hid his face with his one hand. He was clearly giggling, he's just too shy to show it right now. Alice found it very striking to know that Jack has that cute side too. She never knew that until now.

"I didn't know a man like you could feel such an emotion."

"I'm a person too! What the hell are you talking about?" He can't take his smile off his face.

"No, it's just new to see you giggling. Do you do that normally to other girls? Was that your way to lure them?"

"Only you could make me feel so weak in my knees like this, Alice. What's with you that makes me feel like... an i***t smiling? Tell me your secret. I have the right to know. God! What did you do to me?" He said so expressively but undeniably charismatic.

Alice shrugged. "I don't know. But by the way you mention it, it sounds like you're so crazy for me right now." She was joking.

His smile slowly washed out of his face. He stared more deeply into her eyes and stayed silent.

Alice became anxious by his abrupt silence. "Why?", she asked.

"I am crazy, Alice. Very crazy..." He said it like he really meant it literally. But since Alice didn't know, she believed that what he said was just an expression of feelings.

She said "You're crazy... for me?"

"You make me..." His sight still glued to her face.

"Well, I guess I must have to stay on the sofa and wait for you there." She freed her hand with his then started to walk backward, away from him.

"Why?"

"'Cause I make you crazy?" She delivered the words cutely. Practically, she's fooling around with that.

He closed his eyes, sneered and covered his whole face with both of his hands, acting childishly endearing. He thought what she said was really funny. He was giggling again, also laughing at the thought of him doing it. He spoke with his face covered with his hands. "Go now, please."

Alice laughed too and did what he said. "Fine... fine!"

When the tea was done, he sat with Alice on the sofa and then they decided to watch a movie together and talk about their lives, small talk (it was Jack's idea), and maybe cuddled a little bit. Later on, Alice felt sleepy. Jack didn't waver in his position because Alice was just leaning her head on his chest. He liked it a lot, especially the scent of her hair that still smells like shampoo after shower.

He stared at her and then chuckled. Alice raised her head and looked at his face. She caught him smiling naively.

"What's up with that face?"

"What face?" He had that faint smile on his face. It appeared that he was smiling even though he badly wants to sleep right at this moment.

"That face you're making."

"I'm smiling because I'm happy." He looked keenly into her eyes.

"Why are you happy?" She sat properly on the sofa. Willing to know and hear Jack's reason.

He looked at the table, his eyes showing sincere affection within the moment. "Because you called me first to be with you here right now. I can't imagine if it was another man. Good choice, by the way."

"If it was another man, then?" She teased him. She wanted to see his jealous face.

He curled his lips downward and shrugged. "I don't know." He wrinkled his forehead. His eyebrows almost met. "I think I'll get mad. Very mad." His eyes met hers.

"Why?" She was keeping her smile off her face though she felt so giddy already.

"I should be that man! If it's not me, you'll regret it. If it's me, it's worth it. Ain't it?" He looked at her eyes with such seduction.

She scoffed. "Who knows? Maybe someone's better?"

Jack was shocked. He opened his mouth and stammered as he said "Ah- What?" He wasn't expecting Alice's boldness with the way she spoke.

She laughed. "I'm kidding!"

"I was glad you are. 'Cause if you weren't, I might have to let you try me one more time and let you feel if there's still going to be someone better than me. Come on Alice, I'm good at it. Ah no, wait, I'm the best at it."

"You're really cocky."

"Well I bet no one has made you scream that loud except me."

She smiled then bit her lower lip. "I want to pull out another joke to keep up but my eyes are really heavy."

"You can lie and sleep now."

"Where will you be sleeping?"

"I'll find my place."

"That won't be to another woman's house, right?"

"Oh great, yes, thanks for the idea, now let me go to my other woman's house. But by any chance, do you know Ms. Simone's address?"

Alice was touched in no way she can't deny. Jack was really good in uttering sugar coated words. She liked his smartness. Liked it to the highness of heaven. She just left a smile at Jack before she laid in bed to sleep.

Jack admired her venerable attitude. Not too easy, not too complicated. Kind of playing in the middle.

Soon after, Alice finally fell asleep. Jack watched her meek face while sleeping. Surprisingly, he said "Why is it that... when I look at you, I can't help but fall for you more? Every time... It happens every time... My greed keeps on growing... even bigger now."

He gazed at the pulse on her neck. He can almost count its beats.

There's nothing around her house but an utter silence.

The absolute silence irritated him, terrified him for some reason. It made his blood rise up to his head. It was so quiet that he can almost hear her heartbeat. Or she was just too endearing so he heard her own sound the loudest?

"Stop...", he said.

His mind struggled to make sense of what's happening. Alice's heartbeat became the only sound that he could hear. It was a massive stress which he couldn't handle himself.

Who knew that tranquility could be so exciting to Jack?

He didn't want to hear her heart beating. Nor its existence in his ears. It was driving him insane.

"Stop!", he nearly yelled.

He gritted his teeth and he's been besieged in pain that he's already been pulling out his hair with sheer tenacity. His palms had gone sweaty. His body temperature rapidly got hot and he couldn't stand the heat so he unbuttoned his long sleeve polo to discharge the heat steaming out from his body because of too much pressure.

He was restraining himself from the urge of killing her tonight. He's prepared enough to fall out of his plans. He can't just fail himself by a simple distraction.

He lied down on the floor, with his polo left open. His back resting on the cold floorboards. It was a big relief for it helped him to divert his attention from the heat of his body which was a big pain in the ass. At that time, he knew he found his comfortable spot.

He was out of breath, currently wheezing while lying on the floor and staring at the ceiling.

He grew out of tiredness.

Not too soon, he fell asleep too.

It was past 4 in the morning when Jack felt something different. He was awakened by it. Something was tickling his abdomen. He squinted his eyes to have a peek of what's going on.

Then he found out it was Alice, crawling her lips up around his upper body. He didn't expect anything like that from her.

He spoke, "Hey." then smiled a little. Way too fascinating and sexy for a groggy man.

Alice's eyes were different that morning. She greeted him with an alluring voice. "Good Morning, sleepyhead."

Jack, whose eyes were still closed, just showed a one-sided smile as a response.

Alice continued to do her thing. She was kissing his abdomen on the way to his neck.

Jack felt a hasty provocation through that. Alice saw it in his face. He breathed in heavily, feeling the tension.

Something about Jack's moves was really irresistible. She was aroused more by that. When she was already near his neck, Jack suddenly held her shoulders, as if he was asking her to stop.

Alice indeed paused. Until Jack slowly opened his eyes and looked at hers right away. "What a nice greeting huh?"

"Your body right now tells me to do it."

He remembered that he was half naked when he slept. "But Alice, don't you think this space is too big for us? Too public."

"I locked the door. And what, are you shy now?", she murmured.

"Hell no." He immediately tossed her down and he went on top of her instead. His arms were leaning on the floor. "What about your little sister?" He raised an eyebrow.

"We'll do it silently then. And besides, she usually wakes up at 6:30 AM."

"So... it's going to be a quickie huh?" He then gradually got low in her belly button and he started licking it. What a good starter. Jack really knows women's weak points.

It made Alice's eyes closed and mouth opened. She was barely breathing, suddenly feeling her s*x hormones dashing through her veins. Until Jack licked her neck with so much intensity up to her lips that Alice could almost feel the shape of his tongue drawing in her neck. He's reckless when it comes to this. He opened his mouth widely and stuck out his tongue then brushed it to Alice's lips like her lips was a sweet taste of ice cream. Then he finally put it in her mouth. He expressed how thirsty he was for Alice. Jack really is a good kisser. Alice can tell.

Jack unzipped his pants, wore everything off until he was completely naked. He removed Alice's underwear and detached her legs to put it in. Alice bit her lower lip while she had her arms lying upward on the floor. She can't forget how good Jack sounded. It was so dreadfully sexy. Just when Jack was pumping too hard, Alice scraped Jack's back every after his push.

Alice opened her eyes a bit and saw Jack's face suffering from pain, especially through his mouth that seemed screaming but no sound. Of course, they can't make a sound because Mary is still sleeping.

When they're already at the climax, the phone unexpectedly rang. Jack kept on doing her but Alice seemed to be bugged by the sound. She said "Jorge... the phone."

Jack just won't listen.

"Jorge, Mary might get awake."

She heard him growl then said "f**k!" He got upset. He moved away. So then Alice stood up and answered the phone, "Hello?"

Jack listened. He checked the time and it's almost 6 so he shouted, "Damn it!"

Alice gave him a signal to hush his mouth because the person on the other line might hear that there's a man with him.

The phone was for Alice anyway. All of a sudden, Jack decided to stand up, put his pants on and wore his polo.

Seconds later, Alice's conversation with the other person on the line ended. Jack directly asked, "Who's that?" as if he had all the rights to be acting so possessive toward her.

"My friend."

"I hate your friend." He said without hesitation. "So much." He walked to the mirror to button his polo. He looked frustrated.

Alice followed him and hugged him from the back. She liked Jack's perfume. "Didn't you have a nice breakfast though?"

He rolled his eyes and said, "I'm not full enough. Not satisfied. Very disappointing."

"Well... Should I be sorry?"

"You should be. I know I must not be saying this but I'm starting to hate your sister too."

"So you're beginning to hate the people closest to me huh?"

"I just hate... being interrupted." He faced her. "I should get going. Though I hate to leave you with your body looking like that in front of me now..."

Alice remembered that she was still naked so she got shy a little bit and covered her body with her clothes.

Jack said "Put your clothes on. Your parents might see you."

"You're really leaving now?"

He put on his coat. "Unless you want me to stay..." Then he gave her a crooked smile with such an inviting stare.

Alice put her clothes on and said "Uh no... I guess you should leave."

"Got it." He winked at her. He is now looking like a well-groomed man, a CEO, who precisely is portraying a good-looking bastard role which you commonly meet in the streets of New York. Well, he really is.

When he had already opened the door to go, Alice said "Jorge---by the way..."

He looked back to listen to whatever she'll say.

"You cannot just simply get anything you want.", she said, perhaps pertaining to his frustration at what happened.

"If that's your best epilogue, I got to say, I kind of didn't like it. But trust me..." He stares at her eyes. Lovely death stare. "I can."

She was speechless.

He went out of her house and while holding the knob, he peeped through the slightly closed door and said, "Oh! And I already got what I want... Slowly getting there." He showed his cocky smile again. "You can call me again in case you need me... and in case you feel like doing it again." He raised his eyebrows. "Oops!"

He chuckled. "I forgot... I couldn't just get what I want, right? But I will..." He closed the door and left.

Alice watched him as he started the engine of his car up to driving it away from her house. She just can't help but to enjoy the prettiest view.

I don't know what's with me... But whatever is happening between us must be..... my darkest secret, she thought.