My Mate's Secrets

What I Really Craved

*Through Oliver's Eyes*

    As I looked around for her shirt, I couldn’t help but think that it was too f*****g early for this s**t. Never again was I bringing someone back to my room the night before a 6 am training. 

    “Oliver,” she whined, still rolled up in my sheets. “Do you really have to go to training?” 

    “Savannah, your dad is head of security, how are you this lazy?” I teased as I finally shuffled over to turn on my light. She groaned when I did and I winced at the sudden brightness. 

    “f**k you, you know I go later.” 

    Her shirt was hanging on one of my bed posts, having been hastily flung through the air the night before. I tossed it to her. 

    “Well some of us don’t have that luxury,” I said, making my way into the bathroom. 

    “You know you could go whenever. Goddess forbid the great Oliver Slade doesn’t stick to the perfect routine,” she droned on sarcastically as she finally stood and got dressed. I knew for a fact that she’d crawl immediately back into bed when she snuck into her house.  

    She was right. I could go to any training I want. Or none. My parents would respect my decision if I gave them a valid reason. 

    But my parents were my heroes. I knew they were proud of me, but I spent every day trying to walk in their shoes. 

    Plus, bitter cold or not, I loved training. 

    “Same time tonight?” she joked when we were both dressed. 

    “Hell no, I need my sleep.” She just laughed and leaned up to kiss my cheek. 

    Savannah and I were not mates, but she was a good time and only two years younger than me. She was fine with the casual arrangement of occasionally hooking up, so who was I to say no? 

    I made sure I had everything before putting my finger to my lips, telling her to stay quiet. Cracking the door open, I stuck my head into the hall to check for other early risers. 

    When I didn’t hear anything, I opened the door wider and we slipped out. We made it a few feet towards the stairs before I heard another heartbeat and knew we’d been caught. 

    Standing at the counter in the small kitchenette on our floor was my mom, polishing an apple and adopting a sly smirk.

    She raised an eyebrow at us as we froze and I heard Savannah’s heart rate speed up. If I heard it, my mother certainly did too.  

    Savannah cracked first. “G-good morning Luna,” she stammered quietly. Savannah was by no means a stranger to my mom, but it was an awkward situation. 

    “Hello Savannah. Oliver, next time, listen more carefully before opening the door all the way,” she said calmly, clearly admonishing my poor demonstration of observation rather than my decision to have an overnight guest.  

    I just nodded and gave her a sheepish smile. 

    As a twenty-one year old man, and a full grown wolf, s*x was not a forbidden or taboo topic, but a parent catching their child and their f**k buddy redhanded is uncomfortable for anyone on the planet.

    Savannah took a step towards the stairs to leave. “Well, see you all later,” she whispered, clearly wanting to get as far away as possible. 

    My mom held up a hand. “Go shower first,” she said, pointing to the guest bedroom down the hall. “I don’t need your father yelling at me about this.” 

    The idea of anyone yelling at my mother was ludicrous, but Ryan would consider it. As the man in charge of the pack security unit, he was naturally very protective of his precious daughter and a close friend of my parents. 

    Savannah nodded her head and scurried towards the room, mumbling something that sounded like “thanks Luna.” 

    Mom just smirked at me as we both turned to walk downstairs and out to training. 

    As we passed the house kitchen my dad joined us and immediately slapped me on the back. “So how did you sleep?” he asked, obviously aware I didn’t. I gave Mom an evil stare.

    As the most powerful wolf in the country, it surprised no one that she was also one of the only wolves to be able to mindlink others without losing focus. She said she glazed her eyes over when other people were around, but I knew she sent my dad messages without showing others she was sending them, and my dad’s expression made it obvious that he was already fully informed. While she had taught me many of her skills, that was one I could never do and that frustrated me even more.  

    I turned my glare to Dad and he just smiled and wiggled his eyebrows. 

    “f**k off,” I groaned, which earned me a thump on the back of the head from Mom. 

    They both just laughed as I yawned in response and we made our way to the training ground. 

    My parents took their spot in the front along with Uncle Ben. I moved to the side to join my friends, paying special attention to avoid Ryan and returning Emily’s wide smile with a guilty one of my own. Unlike Savannah, I didn’t get the chance to shower any scents off me. 

    “Ten mile start, then your choice of four extra miles or two laps around the obstacle course. GO!” Uncle Ben announced to the group. 

    “Dude, you look like s**t,” Ace laughed at me. 

    I shoved him and took off with the rest of the group hot on my heels. 

    “Better roll in the dirt to get that smell off you,” Nick teased before shoving me into the frozen bushes. 

    The ten miles continued with a lot of pushing and teasing, but when it came time to choose, I took their advice and did the two obstacle course laps so that I could get down in the mud and snow a bit. 

    “Alright, new combo today! Get in rows!” Uncle Ben yelled once everyone was back to the center. “This one involves a knife, so it goes without saying, but watch your tips, don’t get carried away.” 

    He taught us the moves and then passed out the knives, giving us a few minutes to practice before telling us to get in pairs to spar. 

    He walked around the pairs, yelling out occasional tips or corrections. 

    I got another thump on the back of my head when he walked by me. “Oliver Slade, quit growling!” 

    I heard the smile on his face as he said it. It was a habit of mine. Whenever I learned new moves or needed to concentrate hard on fighting, I growled softly. He had been trying to correct it for years but I never stopped. 

    By the end of training everyone was tired and sweating despite the cold, but I felt like I was going to pass out. Luckily I only had one class today so I could go back to sleep. 

    We made our way to the house for breakfast, everyone splitting into their own groups and joining other friends once in the dining room. 

    After parting with Nick near his house, I found a table with Ace in the pack house. Breakfast usually only entertained the wolves who lived in the pack house and a few others from training. Most pack members who lived in the village ate at home for convenience. Ace was a fighter who lived in the pack house because he didn’t get along with his dad. He’d been my best friend since he moved in when we were fifteen. 

    Emily and Elliot joined us, now at the age where they thought they were too old to sit with the other ranked kids. Both were sweaty from training too.  As the teenage kids of the gamma and beta respectively, they joined the early training session for the fighters. 

    Elliot was almost fifteen and entering the stage of his teenage years where he thought he was hot s**t and tried to act like it. Emily was sixteen and had just gotten her beautiful, russet wolf several months before. The color matched her long, straight hair perfectly.

    While I considered all of the ranked pups as siblings or cousins, I was closest with Emily. Our parents all thought we would be mates, but when she got her wolf, my wolf Odin and I didn’t feel the unmistakable pull. We wouldn’t be positive until she turned eighteen, but I was pretty sure we weren’t mates. Odin was still more fond of her than other she-wolves though. 

    When I was younger, I really wanted her to be my mate. But it was unnerving to feel in love with your best friend who was around four years younger than you. When I turned eighteen, she was fourteen, and when I didn’t feel any kind of mate pull to her, I gave up that hope to save myself from disappointment as she grew older. Since then, I’d had my moments when those hopes threatened to weasel their way back, but for the most part she was just a best friend.  

    And the Moon Goddess clearly liked to f**k with timing, because now that I had pretty much moved on, Emily had a massive crush on me. So I noticed the quick, scrunched up face she made when she sat across from me and got a whiff of the last traces of Savannah on my skin. Her intense, hazel eyes avoided mine as she dug into her food, a rare display of uneasiness that was quite atypical for her. It made my next bite of eggs stick in my throat.

    Ace started a conversation about an upcoming test we had, but we were soon interrupted by commotion and laughter from the table in the corner. 

    It was the table of our pre-teen siblings and we all turned towards the riot, except for Elliot, who just rolled his eyes before going back to his phone while the rest of us watched. 

    Clearly some kind of truth-or-dare game was happening because Emily’s little brother, Jett, jumped up on the table, ripped off his shirt and waved it around his head. The others howled in laughter, while most of the adult population in the room winced at the youthful display of early morning energy.

    “HEY!” someone at another table yelled and slammed a fist down, making all the kids, and most of the surrounding company, turn to see Uncle Mark standing and glaring at them. 

    The kids giggled but took their seats, whispering amongst themselves. 

    The table consisted of my twin siblings, Aurora and Asher, who were 13, Elliot’s 12 year old little sister Ivy, Emily’s little sister Maxie, who was 13, and of course Jett, who was 10. They were also joined by Elliot and Ivy’s cousin Leo, now 11. 

    “Idiots,” Emily mumbled before turning back to her pancakes.

    “You know we used to play that all the time,” I shrugged at her. 

    “Yes, but our dares were much better than that,” she smirked, waving her fork in their direction. 

    “Very true,” I laughed, remembering the good days when that whole group had still been toddlers and not as loud. 

    “Girl troubles?” Ace asked Elliot, who was now scowling at his phone. 

    “Ye… no… f*****g wolf,” he mumbled as he abruptly stood up and stalked off. 

    “What crawled up his ass?” Ace asked Emily. 

    She just shrugged. “I think he likes this girl at school, Candice, but she’s interested in someone else.” 

    “He’s Elliot Thompson. How is he having trouble with girls?” I asked, knowing the unfortunate influence a name or rank could have on attracting the opposite s*x. 

    Well, maybe not actually unfortunate. But it took maturity to not let it go to your head, which Elliot was nowhere near achieving.

    Emily looked at her watch and gasped before shoveling the rest of her food into her mouth. 

    “Fe opfer di hathi wol,” she answered me with a full mouth. 

    Ace laughed. “Try that again and don’t choke please,” I said, pushing her water closer to her.

    She finally swallowed and took a sip. “The other guy already has his wolf,” she repeated while gathering her dishes and Elliot’s. “See you guys later!” she chirped as she ran off. 

    “I do not miss high school drama,” Ace sighed, sipping his coffee, although the nostalgic look on his face said otherwise. 

    “Same.” 

    He leaned a bit closer. “But really dude, how’d you sleep? Savannah again, really?” 

    I nodded. 

    “You better hope that her mate isn’t in this pack,” he laughed. 

    “It’s her choice, not like I’m hurting her,” I said with a shrug. Sure, some wolves like when they could take their mate’s virginity, but when you didn’t find your mate until your late teens or early twenties, having ex-partners was usually no big deal. 

    “What if your mate is in this pack and knows her?” he continued.  

    “You’re really into the mate thing today aren’t you?” I asked as we gathered our stuff and made our way out of the dining room. I didn’t want to mention that I was starting to think my mate was in a different pack.

    Mom reached out a hand to give my arm a squeeze as we walked by her table. I smiled at her and the rest before we moved on. It was one of the rare mornings that they were all eating together and everyone looked quite pleased about that. Usually at least one was already working.  

    “I dunno, I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I mean, we’re 20 and we still haven’t met our mates.” 

    “The only pair on the team who met early were Uncle Mark and Tizzy,” I reasoned. “They met when she turned 18, but everyone else was in their twenties.” 

    “I know, but I’m hoping it doesn’t take a disaster or traveling across the country to find mine,” he said. “And I went to my dad’s last night. You know he always tries to push me to a forced mating. Not being alone and all that shit.” 

    “It’ll happen when it happens,” I yawned, knowing he didn’t need me to comment on his dad. “I need to sleep, I’ll meet you before class.” 

    “It’s my turn to grab lunch right?” he asked. We took the same classes and one of them was during lunch, so we took turns bringing food to the conference room that we used to call into the online session. 

    I just nodded in response and trudged up the stairs. 

    My room smelled funny, a combination of s*x and Savannah’s purfume. No matter how much fun she was, her scent mixed with mine would never feel right to me. It was like eating vanilla ice cream when what I really craved was chocolate. Still sweet, still ice cream, just not… it.

    I cursed my sensitive nose as I opened the window before passing out face down on top of my sheets.