My Mate's Secrets

Making Others Nervous

*Through Oliver's Eyes*

    The week of Valentine’s Day had become my least favorite week of the year for two reasons. 

    First, it included the anniversary of Mom’s kidnapping. The kids were never told many details. It had happened only a few months after I arrived at the pack so I didn’t remember it that well. But we knew that sixteen years ago there was an attack and she was taken. They got her back a couple months later and then they adopted me. Some people talked about it in terms of “before” and “after” and I heard mentions of the differences between the two periods, but I never noticed anything. Or at least I couldn’t remember if I did.

    While there had never been another direct attempt on her life since that time, my parents always spent this week more tense than normal. As wolves, and as the leaders of a pack, their lives were always technically in danger and there were always battles and wars, but the memories of that time still haunted them. Growing up, I noticed that during this time of year they stood slightly closer to each other and they tended to spend more time within the same room. My mom never looked weak, but there were days in this time when she looked tired, and my dad would stand slightly in front of her when interacting with anyone outside of our immediate family. 

    The second reason I hated the week was because it was a reminder that my mate wasn’t in the pack. Being single was fun, sure, but when everyone who is mated is spending extra amounts of time talking about love, it rubs it in your face a little. Additionally, as I got older, Odin got more and more restless with regards to the whole mate topic. I knew some wolves waited for years and years to find their mates and it had only been two for me, but for some reason it felt like a desperate need.

    Each year the group of unmated wolves that I went out with for Valentine’s got smaller and smaller. This year it was just Ace, Vince, Sasha, Savannah and myself. Nick, the lucky bastard, had found his mate a few months before when visiting family at Strong Rock. She had immediately come back with him and they were living with his dads while they prepared to get their own place. 

    Because of the small group and last night’s snow storm, we decided to just go to a bar in our town. Pine’s, as it was affectionately known, had a small dance floor, bar games like darts and a lot of beer, so it was a perfect alternative to a club in the city. Plus, it didn’t adhere to the national human laws so the drinking age was 18.  

    We played drinking games for a while and chatted with other patrons, some wallowing in the single life and some celebrating it. Both groups encouraged copious amounts of alcohol and some of the games got quite rough and rowdy, nothing new for a group of drunk werewolves. I decided to bow out of the darts competition when men started challenging their competitors to make a shot while another stood in front of the board.  

    I moved over to the dance floor, smirking as my shoes stuck to the floor with each step. Clubs were fun, but there was nothing better than a classic shitty bar. Savannah was off to the side of the floor with a friend, and immediately turned to me as I joined them. We danced a bit but managed to stay relatively platonic. We had an agreement to keep things casual, which she had agreed to, and hooking up on Valentine’s Day was probably not the best idea. 

    Luckily training wasn’t until 8 am, so when we all stumbled to our respective houses way past midnight, I could actually get some sleep. 

    I tried to be as quiet as possible moving through the halls and to my room. I stripped once in my bathroom and stepped in the shower, hoping to get the bar smell off of me. Standing under the hot water, I swayed, and sent my usual thanks to the Goddess for making sure that werewolves didn’t have to deal with hangovers. 

    Turning the lights off, I crashed down onto my bed, my head bouncing a bit on the pillow. When my eyes focused, I found myself looking at the picture on my nightstand. 

    It was a medium-sized sketch of a beautiful woman with black hair and green eyes. 

    My sister, Jessie. 

    The picture had been a present from Mom when I was a child. I think she got a police sketch artist or someone to draw a version of my sister from what I told her. Sometimes I wondered if it was an accurate likeness of her. It was my most treasured possession. 

    Jessie and I had left our pack when I was four and lived in the woods for a while. We got separated, and while Jessie died, I was found by Strong Mountain. Mom and Dad always told me that Jessie was incredibly strong and brave and had saved my life, and even though I wondered how they knew that, I never questioned whether it was true or not. I just took it as fact. 

    Mom had even found her remains to make a small grave for her that I visited often. Other than the picture and my general backstory, they had never told me anything else. While I didn’t think they’d prevent me from knowing if I asked, I didn’t actually know what to ask. I was sure they had more information, but if they hadn’t told me, it probably wasn’t relevant or anything that would be helpful for me to know. 

    I considered Mom and Dad my parents, but there had always been a part of me that felt like I was missing something without Jessie’s presence. No one knew anything about my birth parents or my original pack. Or if they did, they didn’t tell me. Our files on my home pack only included vague details available to everyone, like the location and name of the alpha. 

    Every time I looked at her picture, those thoughts ran through my mind. 

    Salt Creek. 

    It was really far, and I had never felt any need to ever go there. 

    But after the week of thinking about mates and the months of a growing desire to find mine, I couldn’t help but focus on Salt Creek. 

    I was almost positive my mate wasn’t in Strong Mountain. I knew most of the girls my age and I didn’t feel a mating pull to any she-wolves between the ages of 16 and 18. I’d visited the satellite pack location and she wasn’t there either. She wasn’t in Uncle Hotah’s pack or in any of the other nearby packs I’d visited. 

    She had to be at Salt Creek. 

********** 

    Pacing in my room, I finally decided to mention my plan to my parents. After weeks of thinking about Salt Creek, I needed to take the first step. 

    I walked down the hall and knocked on the door of my mom’s office. “Come in,” she responded before I even finished the second knock. She could smell it was me. 

    She was sitting at her desk working on some new blueprints for some new thing in the pack and looked up as I walked in and took a seat in one of the chairs. 

    “How’s your day going?” she asked, smiling at me and putting down her pen. 

    “It’s fine. What’s that?” I responded, nodding my chin at the plans in front of her. 

    “A potential expansion for the distillery. Not sure if I want to change anything about it though.” She glanced down at the drawings and I decided to just go for it before she got lost in her work again. 

    “Can I talk to you and Dad about something?” 

    She paused before looking up at me and saying “of course.” I knew the pause was to send a message to Dad, because a second later I heard his office door open and his footsteps in the hall. He walked in and my mom’s eyes immediately shifted to him, her expression briefly melting into one of deep love before going back to her usual content expression. 

    It gave me more confidence in my pitch. They knew the importance of a mate, they would definitely understand and give me their blessing. 

    “What’s up?” my dad asked as he moved to the side of her desk and leaned against it. Their gaze focused on me and I sat up as straight as I possibly could. 

    “As you both have probably deduced, my mate is not in this pack,” I started. They looked at me with understanding and a tinge of sadness. “That doesn’t mean anything,” my dad said, reaching out his hand and placing it over my mom’s. They weren’t from the same pack. 

    “Well I know that, but I need to find her.” 

    “What’s the rush?” Mom asked. My dad smirked. 

    “Come on, you have to know the feeling of anxiety I have. It’s been two years and nothing. You remember that feeling, right?” I pressed on, looking between the two of them. Dad nodded his head with an understanding “mhm.” My mom glanced at my dad, looking slightly guilty, but he made no comment at her lack of an answer. 

    “So how do you plan on finding her?” Mom asked, pushing along the conversation. 

    “I’m going to Salt Creek,” I stated. 

    Whatever I was expecting their reactions to be, I didn’t get that. 

    My dad glanced nervously at Mom, while her expression had gone perfectly neutral, as it did when she wanted to hide what she was thinking. 

    “Uhm, why?” Dad finally asked. 

    “Well, it’s where I was born. Maybe the Moon Goddess thought I’d stay there and put my mate there?” 

    “That’s not how the Moon Goddess does things,” Mom said, fixing her gaze back on the plans on her desk.

    “And how do you know how she does things?” I snapped back. Their open skepticism at my plan annoyed me. She snapped her eyes back to mine. 

    “What about Cold Moon?” Dad quickly suggested. “You haven’t been there in a while, you might have missed someone or she may have recently come of age.” 

    I sighed. I couldn’t disagree with that. “Sure, I’ll stop at Cold Moon, but I still want to go to Salt Creek.”

    I saw the muscle in Dad’s jaw tick as he clenched his teeth. “You’re still so young Olly,” my mom added, using the nickname I had when I was a child. I opened my mouth to reply at the same time she tried to continue with her point, but we were interrupted by a harsh knock on the door. 

    Whoever knocked didn’t wait for an answer before they barged in and I turned around to see Uncle Ben looking quite unhappy. 

    “The council has decided to visit us today,” he said through gritted teeth. 

    Dad stood up suddenly. “What? Why?” 

    “Only one way to find out,” Mom said as she stood up and put on the blazer that was draped over her chair. 

    “Come, Oliver,” Dad said to me as they followed Ben out the door. 

    “Not too young, am I?” I replied snidely, only to be met with a death glare from him. I sighed and followed. I usually didn’t disrespect or fight with my parents, but their reaction to my plan was frustrating. They never had any problems when I went to other packlands without them. Granted, I usually knew people at those packs, but I was a twenty-one year old man for f**k’s sake. They knew I could handle myself, because they had trained me themselves. It’s not like I had said I was leaving forever.

    We all arrived at the front door of the pack house just as a large SUV was pulling up. Two fighters got out of the front seats while two older wolves got out of the back, obviously the council members. They straightened their suit jackets and made their way towards us. 

    “Luna Sage, Alpha Xander,” they greeted my parents as they shook their hands. “We apologize for the sudden visit,” one said insincerely. 

    “Elder Colin, Elder Edward. To what do we owe this pleasure?” Mom responded. 

    “Is there somewhere we can talk in private?” the one she referred to as Elder Colin asked. She nodded and turned to lead the way upstairs.   

    When we reached the second floor she turned down the hall towards the conference rooms. I lowered my head to hide my smirk. It was disrespectful for anyone to show up at a pack without advanced notice, unless during an emergency, and she was acknowledging and returning the disrespect by holding the meeting in the conference room instead of her or Dad’s office. 

    I followed them into the conference room, mostly because I was never told not to. 

    “Elder Colin, Elder Edward, this is our eldest son, Oliver,” Dad added before we all sat down. I shook their hands and nodded in greeting. They were some of the oldest werewolves I’d ever seen, and they looked way past their prime. 

    “Having Elders visit our land is always a pleasure,” Dad continued, “but I’m sure there is a purpose to your journey here?” 

    Elder Edward’s eyes shifted to me and Dad noticed. “Anything you have to say, you can say in front of him,” he said. 

    Elder Colin stared at my mom, and she stared right back. She sat perfectly still in her chair, looking both relaxed and ready for attack at the same time. Her expression was the one I had seen her use many times in meetings and when interacting with powerful people. It was pleasant but gave nothing away. 

    “You know you have our greatest respect Luna,” Colin said. “A complaint has been made against you for rallying support and seeking out totalitarian control of the North American werewolves.” 

    My jaw almost hit the table and Dad stood up suddenly, throwing his hands up and letting out an angry growl. 

    The punishment for that crime was death. While the elder council had nothing to do with day to day pack life and pack politics, they still monitored pack relations and helped keep the relative peace among the species. They acted as facilitators when many packs got involved with a matter. Every country had one.

    I glanced nervously at my mom and still couldn’t pick my jaw up off the table. I had never seen the expression on her face before. 

    She wasn’t shocked. Her face didn’t show anger. It showed… nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not the nothing that was the neutral facade she used when feeling strong emotions: this was a step further. It showed absolutely nothing, not even a carefully constructed mask. It was extremely unsettling. 

    Even the Elders grew uncomfortable the longer she sat like that, her gaze on both of them at once. Colin shifted in his chair slightly and Edward let out a nervous cough. 

    Finally I pulled myself together. “That’s ridiculous, who would file a complaint like that? We haven’t fought with any packs in months, let alone taken over any?” 

    Dad huffed and sat back down. “The packs we have absorbed over the years were done in respectful ways and we followed all protocol guidelines. And you have approved each of our alliance filings.” 

    “You are thinking of expanding your territory, no?” Edward chimed in. How did they know about that? 

    “Yes, but you know that. I sent you the plans for our new boundaries last month. There are no wolves or humans living in the mountains we wish to take on,” Dad responded. 

    “Look, we know all of this,” Colin said, raising his hands slightly to signal that he wasn’t trying to argue. “But there is no denying you are the largest pack on the continent. And it can be argued that you have the most alliances, giving you the largest following by thousands. It is clearly making others nervous.” 

    I shook my head and Dad let out a scornful bark, which I interpreted as a sarcastic laugh. “Absurd,” I heard him mumble under his breath. The idea that others might be nervous of their power didn’t surprise me, but no one had anything to fear from them unless they gave Strong Mountain a good reason to interfere. The battles we fought in over the past years were mostly when assisting others. Those involving Strong Mountain as a whole were responses to threats. They were a fierce and loyal alpha pair, it was only common sense that other pack teams wanted them as allies. 

    “Does it make you nervous?” Mom asked. 

    The Elders hesitated in their answer, and she raised an eyebrow at them, taking their silence as all the information she needed. “You have an honorable past Luna, we have no reason to believe that you have changed your values or have dishonest goals,” Edward quickly corrected. Clearly other pack alphas weren’t the only ones who wanted her as an ally. 

    “Why is the complaint only against her, and not me?” Dad asked. But it almost sounded like he already knew the answer. 

    “That... is not for us to speculate,” Colin responded. 

    Dad threw his hands up in frustration. “So what is the point of this visit? You could have called if this is your only piece of news?” 

    “They wanted to see my reaction to it,” Mom said, keeping her gaze on the two elders.  

    Dad shook his head. “Well, if that’s all you’re here to tell us, then I think we’re done here,” he said, standing up. 

    The elders stood as well, so I followed their lead. “You haven’t asked but I must say, we cannot tell you who made the complaint. It’s protocol to keep it anonymous, as is visiting accused leaders. You are correct, we have all of your appropriate paperwork and have approved everything that has needed it. Just think through future plans,” Colin said, adopting Mom’s skill of remaining emotionless. 

    She stood then and reached out to shake their hands. “If I cross a line, you will know,” she said simply, coming deliberately close to a threat. “Oliver will show you back to your car.” 

    I blinked at the boldness of her statement and almost missed the wave of her hand, dismissing all of us. I wondered if the Elders picked up on the anger that was obvious to me. 

    She and Dad stayed in the conference room as I led the Elders out and down the hall. Usually wolves tripped over themselves to accommodate and please the Elders, but she was obviously so sure of herself and would never lower herself to a level lower than anyone else. She had seemed less nervous about the serious complaint against her than about my desire to go to Salt Creek. That reminded me of something and I half turned to the Elders. 

    I opened my mouth to ask them if there was a large database with all of the details of every North American pack, but quickly shut it when I figured that it would come across as suspicious to them in light of the accusation. 

    After, shaking their hands and wishing them a safe journey back to… wherever they came from… I made my way back upstairs to finish the conversation I had started with my parents. Based on their scents, they had moved back up to the fifth floor. As I approached her office door, I could hear their voices. 

    “...thought we were done with this!” I heard Mom hiss, followed by the sound of something breaking against a wall. I winced. She didn’t usually get like this. 

    “I know, ma reine, but this isn’t something we need to worry about. Just someone who needs someone to blame for their failures. The Elders are on our side,” Dad said in a calm voice. I noticed it wasn’t soothing, as some wolves used to calm their mates. I’m sure my mom would find that patronizing. 

    “Ha! You saw their reaction.” 

    “I did, but we have the laws on our side. We haven’t done anything against werewolf law or regulation and you know that.” 

    “I know that!” she snapped. “But after twenty-odd years, it’s ridiculous that this is still an issue for some!” What was she talking about? There would always be power struggles in the wolf world. 

    There was another thump as she hit something, followed by a small chuckle from Dad. 

    “Your reputation precedes you, darling. At least we know the complainant is a man,” he said, his voice getting softer. 

    I heard her huff softly. “That’s because there’s still no other women,” she replied in a calmer tone. I couldn’t clearly hear anything else that was said and didn’t want to, guessing where the nature of their interaction was going. I could finish my conversation with them later. 

    Walking away, I ran through the last extremely confusing hour. Why were they so against me going to Salt Creek? Were they hiding something? Was there something about my family they weren’t telling me?

    And then, who filed the complaint? What did they hope to achieve by filing it? Should my parents be more worried? Did they really think it was about gender? 

    My head was spinning, and I turned to go to the woods for a run.