To Love Is To Let Go

Looking forward to something, and aiming for something is endless anticipation. I haven't achieved what I aimed for. I haven't discovered it yet, but I know it will be endless because that's how life works. "What is it like to be one of those people with access to everything?" My creative writing teacher asked. Everyone was quiet, focused, and attentive, readying our answers because this teacher likes randomly calling someone. "Walang sasagot?" Saad niya "Plus five." She said the magic word to us. I quickly raised my hand and was about to stand when someone already spoke his answer, sayang five points ko na sana yun! "In my opinion, ma'am, being someone with access to everything is like having a world of endless possibilities at your fingertips." He stopped talking, out of breath, then continued, "It's exciting, liberating, and comes with the responsibility of making wise choices and using your resources thoughtfully." He answered like it was the best one. "Very good answer, Mister ? May I ask who you are? Hindi pa kita nakita sa klaseng ito, transferee ka ba ijo?" my teacher asked him, 'saka ko na nilingon, ayy! that's why hindi familiar iyong boses niya, gagi! Bat diko napansin yun? He's tall, he looks clean with that uniform, fair white skin, looking good with the specs he's wearing. He looks smart, I think he is. "Uhm... I'm Ysmael Ybanez ma'am." Ani niya habang napakamot sa ulo niya, "By any chance, is this STEM 12 po?" he cluelessly asked. "Oh, it looks like you're in the wrong class, Mr. Ybanez, nasa third floor ang STEM 1" Narinig ko ang mga kaklase ko, gushing about how handsome he is. Ang iba naman ay tinatawanan siya, probably because he's in the wrong classroom, and he has the guts to recite! And as I look at him intently, the more I appreciate how appealing he is, my god! I have this feeling I would break one of my promises for this school year! "Sorry ma'am, nagtanong kasi ako kanina kung saan 'yong room ng STEM 12 tas dito ako dinala, maling room pala" Nahihiyang ani niya. "It's okay, good answer by the way. You should head to your right classroom, alam mo ba? Oh! to be sure the class president will accompany you." Nakapalakpak na sabi ni ma'am, grabe favorite niya ba agad? porket na sagot niya ng maayos. "Ms. Tan?" Tawag niya sa katabi ko, class president namin. "Hoy Caitlyn! Tawag ka ni ma'am" Bulong ko sa kanya kanina pa siya naka kaob, class president ba talaga toh? dapat nakikinig toh e, bat natutulog? "Sabihin mo masakit puson ko dali!" Bulong niya pabalik, mukhang hindi naman! Pero sinunud ko parin ang sinabi niya, baka mamaya hindi ako pakopyahin sa Gen. math. "Ma'am masakit daw puson niya" Ani ko. "Ikaw na lang Ms. De Gracia, paki samahan" Ani ni ma'am na maiging nakatingin sa akin. "Ah... ma-" She cut off my words by saying" Time is gold Ms. De Gracia." Sige ma'am tama ka na mali na ako. Wala naman na akong magagawa, baka mapahiya pa'ko, tumayo ako saka naglakad papunta sa may pintuan kung saan naka tayo 'yung Mr. Ybanez, "Please be back in time, Ms. De Gracia, we'll be having group acitivity.", Pahabol na sabi ni ma'am. "Grabe naman 'tong si ma'am, may trust issue sakin, anong akala niya de-deritso ako sa canteen?" Bulong ko, na narinig din naman nang lalake sa likod ko. "Aren't you?" He said smirking, naka bulsa ang dalawang kamay sa dark green pants. Napaka-angas mukha namang walis at aba! Huwag kang ganyan 'di tayo close! "Aren't you' ka 'diyan, grade 12 na tas 'di parin alam kung nasaan ang building at classroom niya" ba't di ka nalang nagsama ng mama, bwesit! "Wow! Ikaw kaya tinanong ko kanina tas sabi mo 'follow me' grade 11 ka na tas wala kang galang" Ani niya na parang sampung taon ang agwat ng tanda namin! Pero s**t, ako daw? Wala naman akong maalala? I was wearing airpods kanina 'ni diko nga alam kung may naka-usap ba ako kanina e, "Huh? Wala naman akong naka-usap kanina" Saka ako naglakad papuntang hagdan. "You're young, yet you're oblivious," he said while holding the rails," and I hate it! It makes him cooler! Huwag kang nag english kahinaan ko yan! "Ako ba talaga nakausap mo kanina?" Lingon ko sa kanya 'saka tinuro ang sarili. "Sige hindi na lang, late na ako bata saang room ba 'yun?" Saka lumingon-lingon. "Bata?! Kung ako bata ikaw gurang! Tanders!" Inis na sabi ko. Mukhang compliment na nang-aasar. "Yeah, whatever you say" Ka inis! Maypa english-english pa siya. I take back my words! He's not cool! He's annoying! As we arrived at the new building, particularly in their classroom buti nga alam ko agad room nitong lalakeng 'to may silbi din naman pagiging SDRR ko. I faced him, looking irritatedly. "Fyi, late narin ako sa groupings namin sa susunod isama mo mama mo para 'di ka na maligaw." Mabilis kong sabi 'saka agad na umalis. I hope I never see him again but that's probably impossible! Bukod sa maliit lang ang school, magka same building pa kami!