7 years later

Chapter 2-3

‘Lana? It’s me.’

‘Hayden!’ she gasped, taken by surprise.

‘I hope I didn’t wake you,’ he started in embarrassment.

‘I wasn’t asleep yet. It’s just that… I didn’t expect you to call me tonight,’ she answered hesitantly. The reply was a quiet mumble, and Lana held the phone a little away from her ear, blinking at it with wonder, as if it would help her understand Hayden’s reaction. What could he want? What could this mean?

‘I just really wanted to tell you… ehm,’ he coughed, ‘how happy I was that you, both of you, could come tonight. Pamela’s so cool! Such a spirited, straight forward woman – someone who cares about you.’

‘That’s true. She’s a very good friend.’

‘Antony and Sylvie were absolutely charmed by you. They want to see you again as soon as possible. And by the look of it, the twins loved you as well. But I’m not surprised. I knew it would be like that,’ he said, and Lana could clearly hear the smile in his voice.

‘That’s very nice of you.’

‘I mean it.’

‘I liked both of them very much as well. They are just the sort of friendly, cordial people I imagined them to be, based on your descriptions. And the twins… well, I hardly know what to say…’

‘I know,” laughed Hayden. ‘They are quite exuberant, in every sense of the word.’

‘Exactly,’ she laughed as well, because she could not have found a better fitting description for the two energetic nine-year-olds.

Hayden sighed as if he still had something to say, but didn’t know how to start.

‘I don’t want to keep you long, I just wanted to know that you got home safely, and just one more thing.’

‘Yes?’ Lana said, sounding a bit too excited.

‘We could maybe… have lunch together sometime next week… if you…’ he cleared his throat in embarrassment, ‘if you have time, and if you’d like to, of course.’

Lana paused for a bit. Although she was beside herself with joy, she didn’t want to answer too enthusiastically. Clearly, this wasn’t the best idea if she was to cool her feelings for Hayden. It was very risky for her to accept a mid-week meeting like that in their complicated situation, but she was also unable to say no to him. She knew that she was just torturing herself, but she unspeakably longed to see him. She swallowed and said yes, defying all rationality. They said goodbye without mentioning Grace even once during the whole conversation. Lana had a strong feeling that Hayden wanted to let her know, though without words, how the rest of the evening turned out for him. He was at home, and he was alone. She suddenly felt much better, and although she was aware that her reaction was totally illogical, a huge rock had rolled off her heart.

What Lana could not know was that Hayden’s persistence lasted only until he entered his apartment. The challenges of the evening had worn him out completely, and as a result, he was upset and frustrated. He could not have said when he suffered more: when he could not see Lana for days on end, or when he was near her but could not act as he wished to. He longed to take her in his arms, push her against the wall and kiss her until she would beg for mercy. He did everything in his power to make things run smoothly between the two of them, but it was awfully difficult to play the role of a friend beside the woman whom he had been in love with for ten years. He had to admit, however, that Grace’s obvious flirting had come in handy for him and made things a good deal easier through the evening. He tried not to encourage her too much. He attempted to be merely moderately polite. All he could do was hope that Grace didn’t take the rejection too much to heart when he took her home and dropped her off in front of her apartment. Now that he was alone at home and no one saw him, he no longer had to pretend. His frustration broke forth, and the bathroom mirror suffered the ill effects. His fist barely bled, and the pain was not strong enough to distract him from Lana. The next day, Giselle made sure that the mirror was replaced.

#

The preparations for the trip to the USA were going at full speed. The employees at the publishing house were busily planning and organising so that as many meetings and deals as possible could be completed in the short three weeks their boss would be spending overseas. There were days Hayden could not get off the phone for the whole of the morning. One phone conference was followed by another. They planned to launch a new paper, which would deal with daily economic events in a way that was understandable to laymen, and they also had a number of tasks in relation to the expansion in Ireland. Hayden tried to be present everywhere at the same time, if not in person, at least through video calls. At these times, Christian took a great deal of weight off Hayden’s shoulders. Fortunately, there were other trustworthy people as well, like James Harris, who were able to make responsible decisions on their own. He had to acknowledge, however, that though he still liked his job and enjoyed working, he was no longer able to find in himself that exclusive enthusiasm for the company that he’d had earlier. There was no question what, or who had caused this change. Lana’s reappearance had overturned his well-organized life completely. It showed him there could be more to life than hard work; the only problem was that this more was slipping further and further away from him. Thus, it was as if he was floating in an emotional vacuum. He let go of something that had been a foothold for him, and he hadn’t found anything else he could cling to.

That week his lunch with Lana was his first and only lunch break when he actually left the office and had more to eat than a sandwich. Although they would not have admitted this for the world, both of them had prepared for this friendly lunch together as if it were the most important event of the year. At 12:00, Hayden waited for Lana in front of the entrance of the Masters Law Office with his stomach quivering. He had suggested the little Thai restaurant they intended to go to, and Lana had no objections. On the way there, they talked about the past weekend and the Costas. Hayden made no secret of his regard for Antony, and entertained Lana with some anecdotes from their shared past. It reassured Lana to know that Hayden had such people, such sincere friends around him. She knew that people in a position like Hayden Ravensdale were often surrounded by fake friends who only wanted to exploit the connection for their own benefit. She was pleased to see that Antony Costa stood by Hayden selflessly as a friend from childhood, without other personal interests. She had a suspicion that in the doctor Hayden saw his brother whom he had lost very early. Tony was someone for him whom he could trust unconditionally, and who had nothing to do with his role in business whatsoever. Hayden’s life revolved around business ninety-nine per cent, and he lacked the loving and supporting family she had.

By the time they arrived at the restaurant, the subject of conversation had become more intimate. The topic was Lana’s family. Hayden was still ashamed of his behaviour at Zafferano’s, and the events of that evening still haunted him like a nightmare. He was convinced that Rober Bell and his girlfriend must consider him a raving madman. He did not know how much Lana had shared with them about the scene in front of the house, and he didn’t dare think about it. In truth, he was curious to see Lana’s brother, and though one half of him was eager to become acquainted with him, his other half feared it. He had no doubt the Bell family knew all the sad details of their relationship, so he wouldn’t have been surprised to learn that Lana’s loved ones did not approve of their reunion. Plus, he also knew Lana had always held her parents’ opinion in great regard. Of course, we’re only friends now, Hayden thought bitterly. To this, they could hardly object.

They were just about to order, when the ringing of Lana’s phone disturbed them. She took out the device reluctantly, apologized to Hayden, and pressed the green button.

‘Hello? Yes, it’s me.’

‘…’

‘Oh, hello Ken. What? But what happened?’

‘…’

‘What?’ Lana’s face turned gloomy. ‘Is it serious?’

‘…’

‘I’m in London but…. When did it happen?’

Hayden leaned back in his chair with ominous premonitions, and worriedly watched Lana’s gradually darkening face.

‘Of course I’ll go. Where exactly…? Yes. Thanks, Ken.’

After the conversation had ended, she still held the phone hesitantly for some time, and languidly stared at the bluish light of the screen.

‘Is something wrong?’ Hayden asked, though he already expected the answer.

He felt from her silence that something had happened that closely concerned her, and would most probably end their afternoon idyll. She shook her head and forced a smile.

‘No… I mean, yes. Something did happen. It was Ken, from the band.’

Hayden’s stomach convulsed as he realized that Lana was talking about Rush. By that time he was certain he would not like what he was about to hear.

‘Ben’s been in an accident. He’s in the hospital and wants to see me,’ she blurted out.

Hayden thought for a moment, pondering how he should feel about the issue. He wasn’t sure it was a good thing, but eventually the homo sapiens inside him conquered the situation.

‘Oh. That’s not good. An accident,’ he repeated thoughtfully. ‘What are you going to do?’

‘I think I have no choice really but to go there,’ she shrugged uncertainly. ‘He wants to see me.’

Of course, he wants to see you, he sulked inside. Then, he took a deep breath and answered with the voice of sobriety.

‘Right. I mean it’s clear that you can’t really do much else in this case,’ he murmured. ‘But what actually happened? Is it serious?’

‘I have no idea,’ Lana shook her head. ‘Ken wouldn’t tell me anything more on the phone. I’m very sorry about our lunch,’ she said and began to get ready to go.

‘Oh, forget it! It’s not your fault.’

‘I hope we can repeat it sometime.’

‘Certainly,’ Hayden replied, wondering if Ben Jones had telepathic abilities to know when to have an accident to ruin the time he was going to spend with Lana.

Lana looked around uncertainly, while Haden explained to the waiter what had happened and tipped him generously for the inconvenience caused.

‘Can I be of any help?’ he asked politely as they were leaving the restaurant, but he did not actually expect a positive answer to his question.

Lana looked at him gratefully, and answered with hesitation, ‘Well, I really don’t know. In fact, I have no idea what to expect.’

She was biting her lower lip and looked completely at a loss. He stopped, took Lana’s elbow, and turned her towards him. Even if he had tried, he would have been unable to conceal the affection burning in his eyes. He would have done anything for her.

‘What can I do for you? Ask anything, I’ll do it,’ he said.

Lana considered the offer for a short while. What could Hayden do for her? For example, he could pick her up and run with her somewhere, perhaps to a desert island, where they could be alone until the end of time, Yes. She would have loved the idea, but it would have sounded rather silly if she had come up with it. She was fixing her eyes on the man’s tempting lips, and came to the conclusion that a kiss would have sufficed in this situation, although she didn’t have the right to ask him, due to their agreement. She should simply let him go, and she should leave for the hospital alone. Yet, she blurted out the following answer:

‘Well… if you could take me to the hospital… I’d be grateful for that.’

The whole issue was terribly embarrassing, as Ben Jones was her ex-fiancé, and Hayden most probably had better things to do than play taxi driver for her in the middle of the afternoon.

‘Of course, I’ll take you there, no problem,’ he replied quickly, urging Lana towards the car immediately.

While Hayden drove the car deep in thought, Lana called Stephanie to tell her that she would not get back to the office until later. Hayden was very surprised at Lana’s request. He was not sure what could have motivated Lana to ask this of him. Was it possible that she already entertained such purely friend-like feelings for him, that she would take him even to her ex-lover if it was necessary? This option filled him with pain and disappointment. He wanted to be her friend, support her when she needed help, but if Lana was going to cry her heart out about Ben Jones on his shoulder, then he would probably run away.