7 years later

Chapter 2-1

Chapter 2

Hayden spent some time in the Ravensdale house in Cornwall for the first time in ages. Cornwall, England’s westernmost county, which is practically a peninsula, is a breathtakingly beautiful place. It has the pleasant effects of the Gulf Stream to thank for its temperate, sunny climate. Hayden felt that he truly needed the cleansing, healing effect of the endless rocky seashore and the constant ocean wind.

The large white house built on the rocks was surrounded by abundant greenery and mighty trees. The terrace offered a wonderful view of the ocean, and he could not have found a better place to retreat from the world than this house which blended in with the natural surroundings so well. There weren’t any close neighbours, and from the estate only a steep narrow winding path led down to the rocky seashore. Hayden had loved to come here as a child. The closeness of the sea and the numerous opportunities for entertainment offered by the place pulled him like a magnet; if he had been free to choose, he would have spent all his school holidays here. After the death of his brother, the house naturally lost much of its charm for him. For a long time, every rock and every secret little place reminded him of Jacob, and he came here much less often. All the more so, because his father, Edward preferred his other house in Nottinghamshire. He called himself a landlubber jokingly, and true enough, the seashore held little appeal for him. Edward Ravensdale had bought the villa as an uncommonly generous engagement gift for his future wife. Victoria, a Spanish girl whose family stemmed from an area near the beaches of the Mediterranean, loved to spend time in the beautiful seashore villa and enjoyed the weather, which was warm and dry compared to other regions of England. Though she enjoyed the scenic but rather desolate landscape of Cornwall, the livelier and noisier Brighton, where they had another house, appealed to her much more.

Hayden, after he had made sure his mother was not there, escaped to Cornwall from the suddenly suffocating air of London. He went jogging for hours along the beach. He swam a lot and attempted to restore his upset emotional balance. He tortured himself on the rowing machine which was set up in the spacious living room, while he stared at the BBC. Very little of the information ever reached him; although his eyes watched the screen, his thoughts were constantly elsewhere. He considered everything again and again that had happened since he had met Lana a few months ago. He reflected once again on Lana’s disappearance seven years before and the explanation she had given for it. He came to understand her reasons and did not blame her any longer. The method with which she had tried to resolve their problems may have been questionable, but she was certainly led by goodwill. He had blamed her unjustly, and Lana did deserve his forgiveness and trust. He felt all the more guilty for reacting so irrationally whenever any issue emerged concerning her person. He had to admit she was also right in saying that she never acted provocatively and never tried to deliberately hurt him while they were together. She never flirted, even though she had all the qualities necessary to seduce any man. If he had been jealous, it was only to due to his own roundabout nature, not her behaviour. Why was it then, that he couldn’t trust her? The very first time they wound up in an ambiguous situation, he immediately questioned her honesty. He accused her in such a rude manner which she did not deserve in any way. No matter how many times he convinced himself that the old shock was over, every time Lana passed out of his view, he grew uncertain. Whenever he left a room where they had been together, or when he didn’t see her for more than a few hours, panic took over him. Why couldn’t he relax and handle their issue in a cool manner? Will there ever be a time when he would stop having butterflies in his stomach when they were near one another? He couldn’t imagine ever getting used to her closeness. Even after he and Lana had been dating for two years at university, he would still knock at her door in the dormitory with shaking knees, and nearly forget to breathe when she finally stood in front of him and smiled at him. He could not find the slightest trace of habit or routine in their relationship.

He enjoyed the breath-taking, glowing red sunset sitting on a rock at the beach. He let the soft wind ruffle his hair and tug at his white, long-sleeved, linen shirt. He imagined the wind blowing through his whole body as if he were only a sieve, and taking with it all the dirt that had piled up inside him in the last years like a thick layer of dust. He imagined as his mind and thoughts became cleansed by the salubrious sea wind. He had no intention to banish Lana from his thoughts. He knew this would be a futile attempt anyway. He loved her from the deepest depths of his heart, and knew from experience his love would accompany him to the grave, regardless of his possible future relationships.

#

At the beginning of the following week, he appeared in the London headquarters in a fairly relaxed mental state and a fully recharged and fit physical state. There was a lot to do, and after Giselle showed up in his office with heaps of files, he spent the rest of his day focused on his work and with overseas business phone calls. In the afternoon, Christian showed up too. He also had a lot to discuss. They ordered coffee and sandwiches and never left the office until the evening. In a few weeks, the longest business trip of the near future was to take place. Among other things, a meeting had to be organised with his American partners and investors, whom he had met not long ago in London. In this case, he didn’t even consider sending Christian to represent the company instead of him. Why would he have done such a thing? He felt he had no reason to stay, especially since he and Lana were only mates. Although he tried to stay calm and sober, and always kept himself occupied, her absence left a gaping void in his days.

Since that embarrassing incident they had not spoken to one another except for a few text messages. Lana briefly related what she was doing, and Hayden also informed her of how he spent his days in general. They were polite and friendly to one another, just as they had agreed. They decided they would certainly meet one evening, not alone of course, but in the company of some other friends. Hayden, now that he didn’t spend all of his free time with Lana, once again devoted more time to sports. He deliberately pushed himself until he was ready to drop.

He took up playing squash every week again with Antony. One night, just when Hayden would have most needed something to occupy him in the evening, Antony called him to cancel the game. He had long promised to go bowling with his children, and this coincided with their playing time. But all was not yet lost, since Antony invited Hayden at the same time to join them. His wife, Sylvie, had also invited one of her friends, and Antony hoped he could convince Hayden to come with them, so he wouldn’t be the only man in the group.

‘It’d be great if you came, mate!’ he tried to persuade him on the phone. ‘At least we can talk for a bit. I’m sure the twins would be glad to see you again. We’ll have a drink, chat, and just chill out. Sylvie’s bringing one of her friends,’ he added quietly, knowing that Hayden hated to be faced with such surprises. He didn’t want all of this to seem like some sort of blind date. This truly was not what they intended.

‘I haven’t seen Sylvie or the twins in a long time. True, it would be nice to see them’ Hayden answered.

‘That’s what I like to hear, mate! You know what? Bring your mysterious Lana too! Frankly, I’m very curious to meet her after all you’ve told me. I’m beginning to doubt she actually exists,’ he howled.

‘Tony!’

‘Sylvie also keeps pestering me that she wants to get to know Hayden’s mysterious girlfriend.’

‘Lana’s not my girlfriend… not in the way you think.’

‘Well, is she your girlfriend or not? You haven’t fallen out already, have you?’

Hayden sighed tiredly and began to scratch the glass surface of his desk, deep in thought.

‘I’ve done something stupid,’ he confessed with regret in his voice. ‘But no, we haven’t fallen out. It’s much more complicated than that.’ He exhaled loudly. ‘We’re friends,’ he shrugged his shoulders.

‘Friends?’ Tony asked, furrowing his brow, as the picture didn’t seem to make sense, based on how Hayden used to talk about the woman, but he didn’t want to pursue the matter on the phone. ‘Well, it’s all right then. A problem-free evening. A real friends’ get-together. Friends bring their friends, and everyone will have great fun. Well, what do you say?’

Hayden laughed into the phone bitterly, and said, giving in, ‘All right, Tony, I’ll mention it to her but I can’t promise anything.’

‘Okay. Agreed then. Let me know, and take care, mate.’

‘Take care, Tony.’

Hayden hung up with a sigh and wondered what Lana would say to the invitation. It would be the perfect occasion for them to meet again without the situation becoming too intimate. The circumstances would be neutral since they would not be alone – this would be the safest way to meet. He took his mobile in his hand and selected Lana’s number. He gripped the small device ever stronger as he waited for the connection, and he tried very hard not to lose his nerve, to have control over his voice. In spite of all his effort, when Lana picked up the phone after a few rings and he finally heard her voice, a bitter lump in his throat prevented him from talking. It took him a few seconds to collect himself.

She felt the same way when she saw the name of the caller. Her heart was up in her throat when she thought of meeting Hayden again. She realized then that she was to meet Pamela Masters on that evening, and shared this fact with him with poorly disguised disappointment in her voice. Hayden was also at a loss for words for a moment, then he suggested she bring her friend along as well. It would be an informal friendly gathering, and there would be several people present who wouldn’t know each other anyway. Lana promised to ask Pamela whether she would like to join them, and she secretly hoped that her friend would not let her down.

#

That evening Lana parked her car in front of the bowling centre in drizzling rain, and she stared at the entrance through the jeep’s windscreen with a troubled expression. She got out of the car slowly. Pamela put her arm through Lana’s and elbowed her teasingly as they approached the entrance.

‘Oh, the things I do for you! Just so that you could see your knight again.’

‘Pamela, please! I have already explained to you that Hayden and I are just friends,’ she said indignantly. ‘And this will only be a nice friends’ get-together, where we’ll have good fun, and we’ll get to know new people. Is that clear?’

‘Of course, it is. Clear as daylight,’ Pam rolled her eyes. ‘You’re just friends, and this is simply a friends’ evening. Is that correct?’ She glanced back at her giggling. ‘At least you believe what you’re saying…’ she murmured to herself.

‘What? What did you say?’

‘Nothing, hon. Nothing.’ Pamela waved her hand and arranged a few wayward strands in Lana’s hair.

‘Okay, we’re here,’ Lana said, stopping briefly at the entrance. ‘Calmly then, everything is perfectly all right,’ she said, while breathing deeply, trying to keep her increasing anxiety in check.

Although she was looking at her and speaking to her, it was still clear to Pamela that Lana intended the soothing words for herself. Pamela was eager to meet the man who had such a magical effect on her friend.