Outlet

Every morning, I wake up as me, but never felt real. I do things as me, but doubtful everytime. how ironic, I see myself as me but I never knew what's inside Am I nothing? Am I slow? 'cause that's what I breath I am a good for nothing girl, I inhaled that too openly It suffocates me I know, not good. but do I have to let it out? I am what I am they say but he said I am what he says he said breath, but I cannot let it out all the things he said crumpled inside me, like bubbles full of air. ready to burst and disappear into thin air. into nothingness. just a bubble. once full of crap that she breathed, pure gaslighting just dark gas but never light just pure black never hope just a sad bubble in the air, pure disappointments and doubts. am I what he says I am? do I have to keep being that bubble in the air? ready to be gone? when can I let it all just out? how do I let it all just out? can someone tell me how? before I just burst like a bubble full of polluted air.