Not My Alpha.

What Happened/Chapter 4.

It has been over a week since I have been here. Nothing has really changed except Tora won't come see me anymore. To be honest I'm glad about it though, I don’t know how to act since finding out we knew each other, finding out I lived here. I needed more answers but I don't know how to ask him or anyone else for that matter. Taylor or Leo took turns coming up here every few hours. I could tell they were both worried about me. I haven’t eaten a real meal since coming here. It didn’t matter what they gave me I took maybe five bites before pushing it away. On top of that I haven't said a word to anyone. I don’t even know if I can I haven’t used my voice since the car ride here. The one question I do have though is, what happened to Joe? I haven’t seen him here while looking out the window and I know he wouldn’t let Taylor do something like this on his own. It wasn’t long before I heard the afternoon knock sounds at the door. I heard the squeaking of the old hinges but I still didn’t look up. I was sitting at the reading nook watching the clouds roll by out the window. 

“Cam, you need to eat something. You look horrible. Can you even walk right anymore?” Taylors pleading voice came from behind me. I continued to look out the window not bothering to look at him. I refused to give anyone the satisfaction of my acknowledgement right now. I was beyond upset and confused still about the photos I had seen. “That's it.” Taylor suddenly yanked me up and over his shoulder. I didn’t fight him as he carried me down the steps and into Tora’s bedroom. I heard him open a door before stopping and tossing me to the ground. “Take a shower, when your done you are coming downstairs with me and eating a proper meal.” He turned around and left not even bothering to hear any protests that I may have. 

I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror. You could tell I wasn’t eating properly. My face was starting to hollow out and I looked sickly pale. My clothes, that I have been wearing since I got here, were now baggy and hanging on my extremely slender frame. 

I stood in the shower just letting the water hit my weak body. When I got out there were fresh clothes sitting on the counter. I didn’t bother looking at them as I threw them on. My thought was there clothes and they cover my body. The only complaint I had was just how cold I was since losing all this weight. I cracked the door open and searched Tora’s room. No one was in here. If I was fast enough, I could make it back to the attic before Taylor came back. Taking my chance, I opened the door fully and started to move towards the stairs. There were only two problems with this. One, my body didn’t have the energy to move very fast. Two, I slammed right into the last person I wanted to see. 

Tora looked down at me with surprise in his eyes. I guess after not seeing or speaking with me since I got here, he forgot about me. With him confused I might be able to make it to the attic. It wasn’t that far if I timed everything well. My foot slammed down on Tora’s not hard enough to hurt him but hopefully enough to surprise him. I didn't look at him as I walked as fast as I could to the stairs. I had just made it into the room when Tora barged in after me. 

“Why did you do that?” He yelled from the doorway. 

I didn’t answer him as I walked over to the nook. I could feel him glaring at me. I know how much he hated it when he didn’t get a response. I felt his breathe on my neck and it made me jump out of surprise. I don’t know how he does it but he seems to be able to move at hyper speed when he was angry. His hand gripped my arm roughly as he tried to make me turn towards him. Instead I dropped like a sack of potatoes making him pull his hand away or fall down with me. I scrambled to the drawer under the nook and yanked it open. Tora’s eyes went wide when he seen me pull out all the pictures I had stashed there. 

“How the hell am I in these pictures?” My voice came out just above a whisper. “How did I know you? Why does it look like were friends? Why would you do all of this to me if we were friends?” I stood up weakly, walking towards him still clutching the photos. “Why did you kill them?” My voice broke. My emotions were starting to get the better of me as my eyes stung with unshed tears. “Why would you put me through all of this?” I yelled before tossing the pictures, frames and all, right at him. He looked at the photos scattered all over the floor before raising his eyes to me. The anger there was evident. 

“That is none of your business.” He growled out. 

“Bullshit! Stop playing this game. Apparently, I knew you when I was young. We look like we were the best of friends. We grew up together for years. Then the next time I see you, you’re murdering my parents in front of my very eyes. You knew from that day exactly who I was, yet you let me live. After having you little friends almost beat me to death.” He flinched very slightly at this. “Then I see you five years later at a town I ran to, to escape from you and everything you did. You don’t introduce yourself; you don’t even try to acknowledge me at all. You sit there eating with your friends like it’s any other day while I just want to die seeing your face. Worst of all you show back up and try to kidnap me, and when I think I'm finally free my best friend no my brother is the one who knocked me out for you. Then you drug me and bring me to this place where I have been a prisoner just because I hate you. Have you even noticed I haven't eaten this whole time nor I have I let this room? No, you're too busy doing whatever things crazy assholes like you do.” I was breathing heavy by the time I finished my rant. I felt a weight lift off my shoulders after getting to express everything I've held in. 

“You were never my friend. Your parents died because of what they did to all of us, including you. You have made yourself a prisoner. This is your home whether you like it or not. Stop acting like a child and grow up!” 

My fist connected with the side of his face fast and harder than I thought possible. When he met my eyes, I couldn’t help it anymore. Tears overflowed and streamed down my face. I can't believe he just said that. Grow up, they deserved it, how? My body started shaking and I didn’t know if it was from me crying or my body giving up. My knee’s buckled and I was on the floor, sobbing harder each passing second. I felt it coming on and I knew it would be bad. I haven't had a panic attack in years but just being by Tora was enough right now. My breathing turned into gasps. My chest hurt so bad I thought I was dying. My vison, well already blurry from the tears, started darkening. My body was shaking bad enough that even my teeth were chattering. I knew if I didn’t calm myself down soon, I would pass out. I would normally take my pills but they were back home. I moved myself into the fetal position hoping the little bit my face turned away from Tora would calm me down a little bit. 

A woman ran into the room and assessed the scene in front of her. She started yelling at Tora, who looked genuinely afraid, before rushing over to me. She put my head in her lap and smoothed my hair back in a calming gesture. I could feel her talking or maybe shushing me I couldn't tell over my sobs and gasps. With her help I calmed down rather fast. It was like I had a connection with her that I don’t remember. When I looked at her I knew who she was instantly. She was Tora’s mom and also the woman from the photographs. The same woman who was smiling with my mother while watching their children play.  

She continued to stroke my hair and started to hum a familiar tune softly. My body was still on high alert as were my nerves, but I slowly continued to calm down. It wasn’t until Tora stood directly above me that everything just stopped. He caused all of this but apparently one look from him was enough to stop it also. Tora and his mother seemed to have a silent conversation before both looking back down at myself. I quickly turned away from them both. Not only was I embarrassed with myself for breaking down, I was pissed. I was pissed that I let Tora get to me. I was pissed that I let one look calm me down. I was pissed that he was hiding things from me. I was pissed that he continued to act as if everything that had happened up to this point was normal. But I was also in a weird way, happy. I was happy that I got to meet someone who not only knew my parents, but seemed to genuinely like my parents too. 

“Cam, honey?” I looked back to Tora’s mother. Her face showed only concern as she looked me over. “I think it would be best if we took you to the in-house doctor. After that I can personally take you to get something to eat and then take you to a nicer room. There is no reason you should ever feel like a prisoner when you are here. As Tora told you this is your home too. It always has been.” She smiled to herself as she said this was my house. She must be remembering all the fond memories of Tora and I as children. She could even be remembering my parents. 

“I'm not hungry.” I stated stubbornly. If I was going to have to stay here it would be over my dead body. Literally and figuratively.  

“How about we see what the doctor says first?” I glanced at her once last time. I searched her eyes looking for something anything to prove she was a monster like her son. When I couldn’t find anything but happiness and love in those blue eyes I sighed. I looked at Tora once more before slowly nodding my head.  

Before I knew it, I was being picked up. Tora was holding me bridal style and walking out of my room. I thought about protesting. Hell, I even thought about hitting him, but it was the soft hand of his other that stopped me. She held my hand like I was a child who was afraid of getting lost in a crowd. She must have not noticed what she was doing because moments later her eyes widened before meeting mine. I gave her a slight nod to tell her it was fine. In top of all this I don’t think I could have fought him if I had tried. As much as I hate him, I can't lie. Being held by him was causing my body to do very dangerous things. Not only was my heart going crazy but I could feel the arousal between my legs. He wasn’t just carrying me his scent was wrapping around me. I could watch every muscle move while he walked. I could see his hair flowing in the slight breeze he created as he walked. I could feel the power and authority in him and it was turning me on more than pissing me off. 

Before long we were in the doctor's office. It was small and clean. Not much was on the walls except a few pictures of wolves and their cubs. There was a bucket of toys in one corner and a small shelf with books and magazines on it for all ages. I was laying on the table with the uncomfortable paper beneath me. Tora and His mother, whose name I still didn’t know, were sitting in beige oversized chairs. 

“Hello Cam, my name is doctor Ray. What seems to be the matter?” He turned away from me and spotted the two people who accompanied me in the small room. “I'm sorry. It's nice to see you, young master Tora. Of course, it Is always a pleasure to see you, Queen Destiny.” HE even bowed a little towards Tora’s mother, Destiny. She’s a queen. The queen of what? Well at least now I know her name. Destiny, I don’t know why but for some reason I got a feeling her name suited her very well.  

“She hasn’t eaten much, if anything, in a week. Not only that but she barley talks. She doesn’t even seem to be alive. She doesn’t seem to feel emotions very much and also has not needed to use the restroom but maybe once a day. She also started to have a panic attack right before coming here.” Tora spoke before I had the chance. TO be honest I wouldn’t have told the doctor anything anyways. 

“Is all of this true, Cam?” The bald-headed man turned to look at me. Now that I got a good look at him, he reminded me of Leo. He had the same build and the same eyes. His eye color and hair color also seemed to match. It made me wonder if there wasn’t a connection between the two. I don’t know much about Leo’s past, maybe he came from here? All I know is if he left, he probably had a reason. 

“Yeah. I have had panic attacks since I almost died when I was fifteen. I also have nothing but nightmares from watching my parents being murdered in front of me when I was also fifteen.” I made sure to look Tora dead in the eye. I instantly regretted it as his eyes seemed to shift from his normal green to almost black. 

“When was the last time you ate a decent meal?” 

“The day I was brought here. I ate with my friend Leo.” The doctor's eyes lit up at the mention of Leo. 

“You know my son?” Well at least I was right about the connection. 

“Yeah, we were friends. As for the not talking or feeling anything, why the hell should I? I quickly changed the subject off of Leo. I was still hurt by my former friend. Just like I was hurt by my former basically brother. 

“I see.” He turned towards Tora and Destiny instead of talking to me. “I think after what she has said it is pretty obvious, she has horrible anxiety. She may even have PTSD from what happened to her when she was younger. I honestly don’t know and I won't unless I could spend more time with her as a phycologist instead. I would also bet my whole pay check that she is severely depressed and might also have been suffering with that for years. That would explain why you couldn’t understand her emotions or why it seems like she might not have any. Most people don’t realize that depression and anxiety show themselves in different ways with different people. As for not using the restroom that goes along with not eating, I assume she isn't drinking much either. My guess, without further testing, is that she is dehydrated. I can give her an IV with fluids or you can take her to the kitchen and give her a small meal and some water or Gatorade. Just don’t let her eat too much or too fast. She could get sick or even rupture her stomach. I will also prescribe her medication for the depression and anxiety. I would like to do a follow up to check out her phycological health as well when she is feeling better.” He turned back towards me and gave me a small sad smile. The same smile I get from everyone that finds out I'm broken. That I'm damaged. It’s pity. Its written all over his and Destiny’s faces. 

“I’m fine. Last I checked I am a grown woman. I don’t need them for anything.” I regretted this when I see the sad look that crossed Destiny’s face. Tora looked angry the whole time. “if I wanted to eat I would. I would also take my medication. For now, though I think I will head back to my room. Thank you doctor, but I am fine.” I swung my legs over the side of the exam table before sliding off. My legs buckled and if I hadn't grabbed the table I would have fallen.  

“That's enough.” Tora growled, again with the growling, before grabbing my arms. He bent down so his face was right in front of mine. “You are going to stop this now. We are going to get something to eat and that is final. You will do as the doctor says or else, I will make you.” HIs eye was that dark brownish black color once again. His face contorted into anger. He no longer cared about what I wanted. I could tell by the look in his dark eyes.  

I tried to pull out of his firm grip only for him to shake me. He was shaking me back and forth making me dizzy. My legs started to buckle once more while my vision darkened.  

“You are literally trying to kill yourself. Please.” I looked at him once more forcing my eyes to focus on his face. His eyes were back to that emerald green and they were filled with desperation and sadness. His whole face was filled with worry. My stomach did a backflip seeing him like this. It was like my body reacted before my brain did. I leaned forward and rested my forehead against his. “If you do this, I will let you have five passes. You can ask for favors or even questions, just please eat something.” I closed my eyes weighing the options I had. I could continue doing what I was doing and kill myself, never getting the answers I wanted. Or, I could do as he says and have five free passes for whatever I want. I nodded my head, which was still resting on his, before opening my eyes.  

“Great, let's go get you something to eat. What would you like?” Destiny asked as she walked over and took my hand. “You can have whatever you would like.” She continued to hold my hand as she led me out of the room, Tora following as closely as he could behind me. 

“Knephla soup.”  

“Of course. DO you want the American version or the German version?” 

“German.” I would listen to what I was told, but I was still going to try to talk as little as I could. Before long I was sitting at the kitchen island giving short answers to Destiny’s questions. The chef, yes, I said chef, was cooking my food. Tora was standing on the other side of the island watching our every move. 

The kitchen we were in was huge. It was connected to the large dining room. The room it’s self-screamed private school lunch room. The kitchen had all the new stainless-steel appliances. The floors in here were a dark wood that matched the light-yellow walls and gave off a homey feeling. The large high windows gave the room an even better feeling as it let in the bright sun. The dining room had the same yellow walls and dark floors. Windows covered most of the walls. There were several long light wood tables with matching chairs, that had the same color yellow as cushions, that were scattered around the room. There was a light wood bar set up in one of the corners along with a buffet table. Drink stations were set up in their respective areas. Whether it be by the breakfast area, for the cereal, or over by the buffet table. There was also a large crystal chandelier that hung right above one table that no one was sitting at. The thing with this house is it was equipped to house more than a hundred people at least. 

“Tory!” A high-pitched voice yelled out across the large kitchen. It was the girl from Tora’s bedroom. In the midafternoon light she looked gorgeous. Her shoulder length brown hair was curled and two pieces were pulled back into a crown effect. Her makeup was done perfectly making her light brown eyes pop. Her full lips had the lightest shade of pink on them. Her slender frame made me feel anorexic. Her curves were on full display in the tight bodycon dress she wore. She reminded me of a Victoria secret model with slightly less curves. She was absolutely stunning. When those light eyes found Tora, she smiled making her way over to us. 

“There you are! I have been searching for you all over.” She giggled and grabbed onto his arm. He looked down at her with a small smirk on his lips. It was the closest thing to a smile I has seen him give. They seemed to be lost in their own world before Destiny cleared her throat making both of their heads snap to us.  

“Your Majesty.” The girl bowed at Destiny before moving her eyes towards me. “And you are?” She asked me sweetly. 

“Camden.”  

“That’s a guy's name, silly. I’ll call you Cami.” She giggled to herself. I didn’t say anything to her about the nickname. “Tora, are we still eating together? I’m hungry and have been waiting for you all afternoon.” Her full lips turned into a pout as she starred at him. She was a scary girl. If anyone looked at her they would think she was the hot girl next door. She was actually more of an actress. She knew exactly what she was doing with her pout and the way she moved her body closer to him until she was just barley brushing him with her chest. It made his attention snap there, this way she could say anything and he would agree. If he started to snap out of the sneaky boob attack, she could just press herself to him a little harder, making her cleavage look larger and regaining his attention. She was a temptress and I wasn’t the only one who noticed.  

Destiny look angry as she watched what was going on in front of us. Maybe it is because that is her son and she knew he is being played? Maybe it's because she just doesn’t like this girl? I honestly don’t know and I don’t care. She seems nice enough and her and Tora make a cute couple. 

“Lena, would you please stop? You are not only humiliating yourself, but also myself and my son. We are in a public area this kind of behavior is unacceptable.” Destiny’s voice held authority and sounded almost regal which would make sense since she is a queen. 

“I’m sorry ma’am, but I'm not doing anything wrong.” She again had a sweet smile on her face. Tora threw his arm around the woman, Lena, and pulled her closer to his side. 

“We will get going I promised her a date and I don’t intend to be a liar.” She let out another giggle as he led her out of the room. 

“I’m sorry about her Cam. She can be such a brat, for lack of better words. I think your food is ready.” As soon as she said that the chef brought over a steaming bowl of knephla. It took all my will power to not pick the bowl up and drink it, instead of using my spoon and being civil. 

“It's okay. It is not your fault that she is the way she is. Nor is it your job to apologize for her acting the way she does. She chose to do what she did. We all form opinions of people on our own, no matter what you say it won't make or break my decision of who she is as a person.” With that I picked up my spoon and started to eat. 

“Slowly now. We don’t need you getting sick.” I nodded at Destiny. My body only let me eat half the bowl before I thought I would throw it all back up. I managed to get two glasses of water down as well. Now hopefully I could go back to my room and pretend today hadn't happened. 

“Are you ready for me to show you to your new room?” I looked at Destiny like she was mentally deranged. 

“I like my room. I may not like that I have to go through Tora’s room, but I love my room.” 

“Are you sure? I could get you moved closer to your friends.”  

“I don’t have any friends here.” I felt bad saying it because I thought Destiny could be my friend. Even if she was old enough to be my mother.  

“Then will you at least follow me before going back to your room?” I nodded and followed her. We went up the stairs towards Tora’s room. Destiny stopped at the last door in the hallway, giving me a smile, she pushed the door open slowly.  

Inside the room was not what I was expecting. On one side of the room was a nursery. The other side had been decorated for a teenage girl. I was led over to a white wooden wardrobe that had a little crayon drawing of a little boy and girl holding hands in a flower garden. Destiny opened the wardrobe without any explanation. Inside of it were all different types of clothing. There was everything from bras and underwear to sun dresses and leather jackets. Some of the clothing was name brand while others were thrift items. 

“What is all of this?”  

“This is and was your room. The nursery over there was yours when you lived here. This side of the room I recently had decorated when I heard you were coming home. I told you when you were little this would always be your home. No one has been in this room since you left, except to decorate obviously. We even the left the drawing you made of Tora and you in the gardens out back.”  

“Can you tell me more?” I turned to see that she had tears streaming down her face. She shook her head at me. 

“I wish I could. I wish I could tell you all about your parents and the time we all spent together. I wish I could tell you stories of you and my children. Sadly, it is no longer my place. When the time is, I will tell you everything, but for now just be happy with this.” She opened her arms and gestured to the room around us. I smiled sadly but understood. 

“Now hurry you deserve a shower after everything that’s happened.” I grabbed some random clothes out of the dresser and followed her back to Tora’s room. She explained that she had someone bring me my own shampoo, conditioner and body wash before leaving and letting me shower. Let me tell you it was the best feeling in the world after a week of being in the same smelly clothes. 

Once I was out, I quickly dressed. In my hurry I grabbed and red sundress with white flowers on it. Thankfully whoever brought my shower supplies had also brought a brush and the rest of the basic necessities I would need. I ran the brush through my hair ripping out half of it I swear. When I was fully satisfied, I cleaned up and thought about what I would do for the rest of the day. 

Tora still wasn’t home I noticed. I walked over to the couch that was in front of his TV. It's been so long since I got to watch one of my shows. Would he mind if I used it? Deciding that he couldn’t be to mad I plopped down. I picked one of my favorite shows before pulling my legs up and lying down. I must have been exhausted or all the stress I put my body through finally caught up with me because I was out in seconds. 

I woke up when I felt a blanket wrap around me. Tora stood over me with the softest expression I have ever seen. He was looking at me like I was going to break. He mustn't have noticed I had woken up because he kept muttering things to himself. When he knelt down next to me, I closed my eyes and tried to focus on my breathing, keeping it steady. I felt his hand on my head as he gently caressed my cheek. I almost gasped when his lips touched my forehead. HIs breath fanning my face reeked of alcohol. 

“Don't ever put me through this again my little mate. I told myself I would never care for you, don’t make me change my mind. I told you once I would love you until the oceans dried up and all the stars fell from the sky, but that was then. Now I need you to hate me.” He kissed my forehead lightly before lying his head on couch cushion near my chest. “Please hate me, it would be so much easier. I can’t have you and keep my promise to them.”