Embracing the Beast Within

Chapter 03: Tim

Dad came five minutes after Parker called him. Elias lent me a thin blanket and his airpods so I would not see my surroundings lighten every time lightning strikes and I wouldn’t hear the thunder.

I don’t know what happened after he put airpods on me. The next thing I knew was Parker tapping my shoulder to tell me that we were home. Slowly, I pulled the blanket off me, and the moment I did, lightning struck again. I squealed and jumped on my seat and put the blanket back on covering me.

Seconds later, I felt an arm at the back of my knee and one on my back and I smelled dad’s perfume. He carried me until we reached the inside of our house. Dad put me down and the blanket fell on the ground. Our house was dim and all the windows were covered with our thick curtains.

I sighed and slammed on our couch and took off Elias’ airpods in my ears. I can feel my whole body shaking from fear. I took deep breaths to calm myself, but it wasn’t working.

“I thought you were already healed?” Parker asked, handing me a glass of water.

“I thought so, too,” I answered.

This fear isn’t just fear. It was a trauma from a past experience that took the life of our older brother Timothy. We once lived in a house surrounded by big trees. My parents bought that house because they thought those trees would help our house every season. If it’s summer, it will help reduce the heat. Same with the other seasons, but they never expected what those would bring us once the rainy season came.

There was a supertyphoon when that incident happened. It was just me, Parker, and Tim in our house at that moment. Our parents were still on their way home from work when a lightning struck the tree near Tim’s room and a big trunk of it fell on Tim’s roof, crashing everything inside his room, including him. It was just Parker and I that was there for him.

I was just twelve and Parker was only nine when we witnessed how our older brother died.

“You should continue your therapy,” he said, and I shook my head immediately.

“Therapies cost a lot. I don’t want to burden mom and dad more, now that I’m in college,” I told him.

“But you keep on suffering from that trauma!”

I sighed. “I’m fine, okay? And it’s not always raining. I won’t see lightning always,” I said. “And… I don’t want to forget Tim.”

“Liv,” he called.

I smiled and tapped his shoulder. “I’m fine, Parker, really. I just need to keep my eyes closed and airpods on my ears every time there’s a typhoon.” I handed him Elias’ airpods. “Tell him my thank you.”

Parker sighed and just told me, “Don’t come out to pick me up again when it’s raining.”

I rolled my eyes. “Learn to answer your phone before you tell me that,” I said, and he took out his phone from his pocket.

“There,” he said after maneuvering something on it. “I removed it from silent mode.”

“Very good,” I told him, smirking, slowly calming down.

We had dinner shortly and after helping mom with the dishes, I went straight to my room. Getting inside, the first thing that I noticed were my curtains. I have two big windows in my room and I remember pushing the curtains on both sides. I always do that first thing in the morning, so there would be natural lights coming into my room. But I found them both tightly closed.

Parker must have closed it.

I just washed up before going to bed. It was just 8pm but I felt so tired that I fell asleep too fast.

“Tim!” I kept on shouting from outside Tim’s room.

There was a huge trunk that fell on his roof and his room is a mess now.

“Tim!” I shouted again when he still had not responded. “Tim!”

A lightning struck that made me jump. “Parker, I can’t find Tim!”

“Mom isn’t answering her phone!” he answered back from our living room. I asked him to call mom to tell her what happened.

“Try calling dad!” I shouted back. It was still raining hard and the water from it was starting to get out of Tim’s room because of his open roof.

Lightning struck again and I was forced to step back, anticipating the thunder following it.

“Tim!” I called again, but still, there was no response from him. “Tim, where are you?”

I picked up inside his room again to look for him but the big trunk hindered me to find him. The truck almost occupied the whole room.

“Parker, hand me an umbrella!” I shouted at Parker. He came a few seconds later. “Have you contacted them?”

“Dad answered. I told him what had happened and he said they would be here in ten minutes,” he answered as he handed me the umbrella.

I grabbed it and opened it immediately. “Stay here. Mom will get mad if you get sick from the rain,” I told him before I went inside Tim’s room.

I searched for him in the mess in his room. And when I finally found him, my world felt like it stopped. I saw the red liquid flowing down his bed and mixing with the rain water until I saw him.

He was in his bed, lying… a branch of the tree pierced his chest.

I dropped the umbrella as I fell on the floor of his room. Tears started flowing from my eyes.

“Liv!” Parker yelled, running to me. He held me on my shoulder but his hand immediately dropped as he slammed beside me, seeing what was in front of us.

“Liv… Parker…” We heard Tim say in a very small voice, reaching his hand to us, before he closed his eyes.

Lightning struck again and the power in our house went out. Parker and I remained at our stop, shocked by what we saw, that even the thunder did not bother us anymore.

“Tim!” I tried calling him, hoping he would open his eyes again. “Tim!”

“Tim…” I muttered, tears slid down my cheeks.

I dreamed of it again. I sighed and sat on my bed.

That incident was seven years ago–it has been seven years since Tim died, but that scene still haunts me to this day.

Mom tried to do therapy for me and Parker right after Tim was buried. It works for Parker but it doesn't for me. And I knew half of my recovery was my fault because I couldn't let go of Tim.

He was my first brother. I adored him so much the same way I adored Parker. That continuing doing my therapy scared me that I might forget him and all the memories I shared with him. I don't want that. I don't want to forget that once, I had him as my brother.

That's when I decided to stop my therapy. I asked my parents to let me heal at my own pace. Aside from that, I know how the cost of the therapy burdens them. We're not rich and we just came from circumstances that caused so much pain in our family; losing Tim was the biggest challenge our family has faced.

Like me, I knew my parents had not been healed from that, either. And I knew they would never heal from that. They lost their first born, their first baby. And thinking how hard it must have been for them hurt me more. It was already hard for them to lose Tim, but I knew it was harder to pretend that they were fine in front of Parker and I.

My parents have gone through a lot.

"Who…" I cannot continue my words when the wind blew on my face again. I immediately stood in bed and ran to my window to close it.

I, then, turned to my door. It was locked. "Who opened this?" I asked myself, confused.

I remember sleeping with my windows closed. And I don't think either mom or Parker would open this–Parker closed it so that's impossible he will open it again. Dad doesn't go inside my room, so that's impossible as well.

Sighing, I looked outside. The rain has stopped and so has the lightning and thunder. The moon is now shining brightly.

"It's a fullmoon," I said as I slowly pulled the curtains close, but before I could fully do it, a reflection of a man showed in my glass window.

"Sebastian?" I blurted, shocked and confused. "What… How did you get in here?" I asked him.

"Your window was open," he said as he stood beside my dresser.

"What? It was closed."

"It wasn't locked," he answered and took a step forward. Both his hands are inside his hoodie's side pockets.

I glanced back at my window. Parker must not have noticed that it was not unlocked. However, what the hell is this rude guy doing in my room?

"What are you doing here? In my room?" I asked again, but he just shrugged.

"I was just checking on you," he answered.

Getting more confused, I stayed in my spot. "Checking on me?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "Who's Tim?"

My brows creased immediately upon hearing my brother's name. "What?"

"You were calling him in your sleep. Who is he?" He asked again.

I shook my head and asked him instead, "I was the one asking you first. Why the hell would you come to my room to check on me?"

But instead of answering, he walked towards me. I stepped sideways when he stopped in front of me. He pushed back the curtains on the side and opened my window and in a snap, he was already out of it, standing on our roof.

"What the hell, Sebastian?" I blurted in panic.

"Go back to sleep, Olivia," he said instead, looking straight into my eyes. I saw how the moonlight glistened on his golden eyes– was he wearing contacts?

"...and do not call another man's name in your sleep again," he added before jumping off our roof.

"What the f**k?" I muttered before rushing out my room. I climbed down our stairs as fast as possible and rushed to our front door, hoping I would still see him on the ground–flinching in pain–once I got out of our house, but no one was there. He was no longer there.