Suddenly, Luna

Chapter 13 - Midnight conversations

Grace POV

Here I am,  once again on Logan’s couch but the atmosphere is much tenser than earlier. 

Few hours ago, I was nervous as hell but excited, and now, I’m tired, hurt and I just want to go home. When I say  home I have to be honest, I don't know where exactly I want to go to..,  

Logan was in the kitchen doing I don’t know what. I just wanted to get done with this mess and, like I’ve said go home. When I was about to go to the kitchen and ask him is he was coming, he arrived, bringing a plate of sandwiches in one hand and two beers in the other. 

“Sorry,  I don’t have too much food up here. Is beer ok? I can bring you a glass of wine or something.”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll take the bear but I’m not hungry.” I  mumbled. 

“You have to eat. You’ve been here almost all night and you haven’t eaten anything.” he said with a combination of pleading and bossing in his voice. 

“Don’t boss me around!” I snapped.

“Well, it’s in my f****** nature so learn to deal with it!” he snapped right back at me. 

“S***. I’m sorry!” he pulled fingers through his hair and then as if he remembered he was holding a beer. He took a long sip and then sat on a coffee table near me. He wasn’t  even looking at me, apparently, the floor was more interesting. Suddenly, he took my hand and said: “I obviously  have a few things to say, but promise me that it won’t affect your decision, when it comes to us.”

“To us? I kind of got the idea you were done with us?” I’ve closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. 

“I think you want to leave me, you think I want to leave you.:” he said with a bitter laugh. “What a pair we are. 

Anyway, I’ve been trying to explain the mate bond, I’ve said how strong it was. To answer your question, of course you have a right to decide if you want me or not. I have as well. And I want you. Don’t you ever doubt that. If we make this work, trust me; I’ll act like an i***t from time to time. I might do stupid things, I might say them, but be sure in one thing - I want you. I need you. And nothing will ever change that. No matter what I say or do my loyalty to you will never change. My devotion.. it will never change!” 

“Do you want another beer? I think I might need one.”  I have interrupted him, .got up and went to the kitchen after he nodded. Upon return, I gave him his beer and sat back on the couch. 

Another minute has passed by before he continued: 

“I don’t even remember if I’ve said earlier, but as an Alpha I am stronger, faster, smarter than the rest of the pack members.”

“Of course you are.” I replayed, sarcasm more than obvious in my voice.

This time he truly smiled and said: “I’m not trying to be cocky, these are the facts.” 

After smiling once again, he continued: 

“When it comes to emotions, I feel them 10 times stronger than others. I love to believe that I'm a rational person, but when it comes to mates, all rationality flies out of the window. Breaking the mate bond hurts. Just mentioning it brings pain, like physical pain. So when you asked me if there was a way out of  this, well, you can imagine what was happening in my head, in my body. So I just needed some space. I didn’t mean to leave you alone and scared, but I needed space.”

I got up and sat next to him: “Your mom mentioned dying earlier.” my voice was quite, filled with worry. 

“She’s a bit dramatic, don’t worry, I’ll probably survive your rejection,,”

“Probably? There is actually a chance for you to.. “ A sob stopped me from finishing.

“Shhhhhhh..” He pulled me to his lap and hugged me. “It happens sometimes, but it’s quite rare. If you decide you don’t want me, I won't lie to you. It will hurt. Physical pain will disappear. Emotionally, I’ll..I’ll feel it for a long time. But I will learn to cope. So you don’t have to worry, ok?”

By the time he finished I was sobbing so hard, my whole body was shaking and the only thing keeping me together was Logan. 

“I didn’t mean it like that, I swear I didn’t. I, I.. I am so s-s-sorry. I don’t want to leave you.”

After a while, I’ve whipped my eyes, trying to smile: “Look at me. Are you sure you are not going to leave me, I am probably the ugliest crier you’ll ever see!” 

His tender look slowly relaxed me: 

“Go to bed, baby, it’s almost morning. You really need to get some rest.” he almost whispered. 

“What about you?” I asked. 

“I’ll stay here on the couch. If you need anything, just call, ok?” I won't go anywhere. 

“No, no, “ I’ve said while shaking my head. “Please, come with me to the bed. I don’t want to be alone.”

“Are you sure?” he asked roughly. 

“Yeah, baby. I am. I need you.. God, I feel silly just saying this, I barely know you but.. yes. I really need you.” 

""Ok, honey, let's go to bed." he kissed my temple, took me by the hand and lead me to out bed. 

The funniest thing is that curling to his body was one of the most natural things I have ever done. All of my confusion about where home is disappeared in a second - home was where Logan was.