Memory lane

I am kevin, Kevin warner. I am 23 and married. 3 months ago I hit my head pretty badly in a car accident. Following that I went to a breif coma and woke up week after.I dont have any memory due to amnesia I got after the head injury. I am staying with my husband Liam, in a medium size house located far from city. On the day I woke up from coma on a hospital bed, I felt totally left out but then seeing Liam i wanted to live again. Just seeing him made my heart skip a beat and I got butterflies in my stomach. I have never seen even on TV a man as much as handsome as Liam. I felt so lucky to have such a wonderfull husband. My love for him however didnt grow with time but it turned to a hatred and disgust. He works really hard for both of us each day, i can tell from the way he come back home very tired.I wanted to share his burden and be usefull to him but i failed. Before i retired i had been working as an architec. I knew very well there is no way i can do that kind of a job anymore so i never aimed high.But still i couldnt find one decent job that would hire me. Then i gave up on the idea to help him. At first i felt both sad and guilty when Liam left for work but lateron i started to feel annoyed and jelous.I wanted to go to work too. He has a life that i dont get to enjoy. I felt so unfair. Many times a day I wanted to cheat on him to equal with him. But still i hated the idea and was scared to get caught in action. Liam seems kind and gentle but who knows he might even kick me out if he came to find my true intentions. Moreover Liam is the only family i know, so where do i go if he kick me out. Live on streets and go on hunger. I cant do that. Earning a living will be never easy for me, for someone with a severe amnesia. But what can l do, i hate living with Liam evenmore.But i cant risk stepping out, atleast i am safe with him. I am well aware that i am definitely not worthy of him, but still i feel used and him enojing his life outside bother me like hell. Liam and me are not meant for each other and i have decided that. I need to find someone ordinary as same as me pretty quick. I want to feel equally valued. In this relationship i have no value, other than pleasing him on bed. I thought lucky when i woke up from coma, but now i have different thoughts. " Hi babe, again in deep thoughts huh? , concentrate babe" Liam wispered in my ear as he pulled out of me and straightened him self. Then he laid on the bed by my side and pulled me on to his bare chest. I know what he is trying to do with me. Now he wont even let me think freely."f**k" I wanna yell at him. But I cant. Afterall Liam is my husband and he is the one who is feeding me and giving all the other necessities.All relationships are all about give and take, if i fail to give him the respect that he should be given, that will be the day I will be replaced. I dont know what he found so interesting in my old self that he wanted to marry someone like me. I unconsiously rolled my eyes. "Manners kevin. He gave a poke on my forehead. "It is rude to roll your eyes at your husband " I felt instantly annoyed. I wanted to punch his beautifull face, but i had second thoughts. "Babe, I love you so much" Liam whisper into my ears gently brushing my hair. I know he is lying. He has this friend who owns a restaurant and he visited us almost every week 2 months earlier. His name is Roger, he is just like Liam, but i must say Liam is more handsome. Even his friends are this much handsome. Birds of same feather surely flocks together. Since he frequently visited I became friends with him. One day i asked him for a job in his restaurant and he was hesistant for a bit but then instantly agreed.I told about this with Liam he too agreed. But from next day onwards Roger stopped coming to our house and then i tried to call him but he never answered any of my calls. I asked Liam about this, he told me they had some conflict so they are not meeting anymore. And i too believed untill one day i saw him dropping Liam home from the windows. I asked Liam about roger, but liam repeated we are not meeting anymore. That hurt me like hell. Ever after i disliked his touch, just the sight of him made me angry. Morning sun fell on me waking me up. Liam is not much of a heavy sleeper, so he wakes early. He prepares breakfast for both of us and waits in the kitchen till i come down. If I am getting late, he will let me sleep more and heads out for work. Knowing this i always wake up late and today is no exception. I walk to the kitchen to eat whatever liam has prepared. In the past I tried to learn cooking. And Liam taught me how to cook some few basic dishes. And i could well understand.But next morning, i realized i dont remember anything at all. I gave up but Liam once again taught me from the begining,but this time I wrote down everything. After going through it several times i could somewhat remember the contents. Then i started cooking.I will always follow all the steps that i rarely missed any but i kept forgetting what i am doing in the middle and ended up burning the dish.After this happened several times, I finally gave up the whole idea of cooking So i just let Liam do it all alone. I am so annoyed that i never even come down to help him. I can hear someones presense in the kitchen. "Good morning babe" It is Liam. Seems like he has not left for work and surprisingly he was still in his pijamas from last knight. Did he wakeup late. "Oh , are you in a daze or what" "lately you are always in your thoughts. whats worng huh?. you know I am all ears. you can always tell me if something is bothering you" I dont know what to say so i kept silent. He came close to me and hand me glass of water. I sip it. Then he mess my hair and kiss my cheek " you wanna go out. I thought we should go out more often. You are always inside here, you must be bored. I want to show you the sourrounding. " " see babe, there are pretty much beautifull locations round here, we can enjoy a lot without travelling too far" "Why dont you go get ready in to some nice clothing, we can leave in a hour" " Do you have somewhere that you would like to visit" I dont want to go anywhere else but his office. I want it so badly to see who he flirts with going behind my back. Offcourse he must be involved with some hot chicks, he himself is so damn handsome. While I am in a daze he sits in the kitchen tool and pull me by my wrist and sit me on his lap. " Babe, I am so worried. if you keep thinking too much , you might get sick. And that drives me crazy. Did i do something wrong. please give me a chance, I will make it up to you" Liam said kissing my forehead, cheek and down to my nape. I dont want to lose my mood this early in the morning. I stood up. He still has his grip on my hand. I turn to face him. " I need to freshen up. And didnt you said we are heading out.I want to get dressed up too. Arent we leaving in an hour" I asked fixing my gaze at his hold on my wrist, waiting till he release me. " Okay babe" he said chuckling, releasing me from his tight grip. Soon i walked to my bedroom then to my bathroom and locked the door. I put my hands on the sink and raised my head to look at me in mirror. Then i touch my cheek that he kissed earlier. What is gotten on to him. The hell. Cant he just leave me alone. Going out when he should be going to work. What kind of a play is this and acting all concerned. Does he even care.Does he even love me. Finally i got dressed and walked to living room, there Liam sits on the couch sipping his coffee. "Ready?" he asked. I nodded. I cant deny he looks so cool and sexy. And here i am looking like a mess. I feel even more jelous. I feel annoyed. He is wearing a tee and a coat on top that makes his porcelain white nape somewhat visible to the outside. i nodded my head. Then he looked at me from head to toe and standed up dragging me outside closing the front door.