Entrapped

Chapter 11.

"A naive boy doesn't demand his mother to marry a girl!" She retorted, a part of her knew that no matter what he would say to justify his actions she would never believe him.

"I was afraid, Tiara! My fifteen years old self was afraid that one day you might like someone else. I was clueless and I-insecure..." He stopped for a second and looked into her green eyes that were shining brightly with the burning amount of anger and hatred, all for him.

"I-I just wanted you to be mine and to be sure that you would be mine. I loved you and just a mere thought that you would not be mine petrified me." He exposed his weakest point to her he had never feared anyone but a future that won't have his beautiful Tiara in it.

His confession only made Tiara to scoff in anger as she found everything he had said utterly stupid. Her heart was frozen to feel the love and desperation he had for her. Her eyes turned blind to witness the longing and sincerity his grey eyes held for her. Her ears turned deaf to hear his side of the story.

"Do you really think you could justify your actions?" She questioned, looking at him with hatred, "you were and are selfish Xavier! you only cared about what you wanted but what about me? What about my feelings?" She wasn't wrong as Xavier had done everything to get her and his confidence that she would love him back one day just worsened their relationship.

"You knew I would be in the centre of attention and would be observed keenly once I would become your fiancé and yet to never care." It was hard for Tiara, ever since her mother's death she was only acknowledged as Xavier's bride to be and she hated it as if her own existence was of no value, "you put me, a twelve-year-old girl in that tough spot and I have been suffering ever since then!"  

"I didn't think about all of that Tiara, I was just fifteen when I asked my mother about you and she died within three days. I had no time left to calculate or analyse the situation." It was the truth; he was devastated when his mother died and didn't have any time to think about it as he was so busy mourning over her death, "A week after her funeral, when my father announced that I were to take you as my wife in future, I see no reason to oppose him because I wanted that and regardless of the fact that it was my wish it also ended up being my mother's last one as well." He tried to explain, to come out clean in front of her because he knew he would not be able to win her heart if her eyes kept looking at him with several accusations.

"You killed a man at the age of thirteen and started firing a gun when you were twelve! you knew you had the power to ruin someone completely and by the age of fifteen you learned all about what the underworld is!" He had always been a fast learner and adapting the dark world he was born to rule was not much of a struggle. People started to fear him the moment he killed his first prey at the age of thirteen and he became famous for his cruel ways of punishment and Tiara knew everything, she knew his dark profession.

"And you still had the audacity to call your fifteen-year-old self naive?" She screamed at him, mocking him with her blunt heart piercing words that seemed to cut him deep inside.

A heavy silence fell upon them, in that dimly lit room the air tended to turn cold. The tension was heavy and everything in that room witnessed the resentment they both had for each other, the vulnerability each of them felt because of one another. Xavier's shoulders were slouched down as if he was carrying a heavy burden. Her words seemed to crush his soul while on the other hand, she kept looking straight in his eyes, not backing down at all because she wanted to uplift the heavy burden she had felt on her heart all these years. Her words were not only hurting Xavier but her own self as well as she was reminded of the way she had lived and felt and that only made her realize how pathetic her life really was.

It was Xavier whose voice invaded the thick silence they seemed to be bewitched by, he swallowed the bile that rose in his throat before speaking.

"I-I was just afraid, Tiara, afraid that one day I might lose you to someone and tried my level best to have you as mine but regardless of everything I did you ended up bringing my worst nightmare to life." something tightened in his chest as if a knot was formed in his lungs out of nowhere.

He felt himself getting emotional, his feelings seemed to take over his mind and he found himself drowning in the sorrow of deception and pain, "I wanted to be the first man you would love, to be your first kiss." He was overwhelmed as he shared all his dreams that were now broken, "t-to be your husband, a man you would always be with and also the man who would make love to you for the first time" His eyes turned teary as the shred pieces of his broken dreams kept piercing his heart brutally every now and then.

"I wanted to be your first in every sense," There was a slight shift of emotions in his deep voice and suddenly his jaw clenched as he straightened himself up, gaining back his dangerous composure.

"But what did you do, huh?" He yelled glaring at her with murderous look, "you f*****g betrayed me and married another man!" She flinched back in horror as he looked like a Satan at that moment, "you f*****g gave that bastard everything I dreamed to have! you gave him your love, your first kiss, your innocence..." He stopped sending chills down her spine, enjoying a brief pause just like some sort of psychopath, "And most importantly my place to be your husband."

His accusations were too much to bear, he had no right to demand and expect any of that from her. It was his problem that he loved her and she wasn't obligated to return his feelings.

"y-you wanted to be my first?" She whispered but due to the heavy silence Xavier heard her loud and clear.

She smiled sadly as tears left her eyes, kissing her rosy cheeks. She let out a laugh at the hypocrite that stood before her.

"You are mad that I gave my first kiss and innocence to a man that was not you?" She questioned and Xavier tilted his head a little as he failed to comprehend in which direction this conversation was heading.

"So, tell me Xavier..." She composed herself and asked him calmly, "are you still a virgin?" Her question left him baffled because she knew he was not, everyone knew that, "I reckon you still haven't had your first kiss since you are the one who wanted to marry me in the first place, you must have saved your all first for me as you have expected me to do for you, right?"

That was a deliberate attempt to mock him, to question his morals and point out his hypocrisy, "I married the man I loved and gave him all my first but you were engaged to the woman you claim to love so I must assume you must have kept your virginity intact and waited for her to give your all firsts."

Xavier was able to grasp what she was implying to state, he didn't need to solve a riddle to decipher her mockery. He knew she was either questioning his love or accusing him for cheating on her while being engaged to her and perhaps both.

Tiara, on the other hand, knew that Xavier wasn't a virgin. He had been seen with a few hookers and some w****s quite a lot. He was very famous among girls here because of his performance in bed and she had even caught him in the middle of erotic act inside the janitor’s room in high school. She knew he had fooled around with different girl however, he had never claimed any of them as his girlfriend and she assumed it was perhaps because he was engaged to her and did not want words about his relationship to reach his father. 

"I was a growing teenage, I had my needs." This was the reason he gave her, a rational man uttering such irrational excuses.

"Yes, I know and I understand." This was unexpected for Xavier because the way she brought up this topic and made a fuss about it would only be done with the purpose of having a fight.

"I was a growing teenager and I craved my freedom and that's why I chose to leave, I hope you could understand that." she didn't care about him sleeping around because it never mattered to her. She had only seen Xavier as a mafia lord and never as a man she could love. "I was a grown woman when I met Mason and fell in love with him right away and as you have said that making sure that the person you love is yours is not wrong that is why I married him, I hope you could understand this too."

Xavier never knew she was this good with her words, the way she justified herself was commendable while he lacked the same skill to justify himself in front of her.

He was sure infuriated and hurt by her betrayal and nothing can take the scar and the pain of it away but yet he found himself silent because he was himself looking for an excuse to forgive her because the sense that he should hate her and the fact that he couldn't made him feel vulnerable and he didn't want to fight a battle with his own self and feel defeated because the man who was at war with his own self was believed to be the weakest and he firmly believed that.

"I understand," he said, putting all the pain and suffering he went through aside just so that he could escape his nightmare he was still trapped in.

"I am not going to question you anymore." He promised and stood up on his feet, dusting off the imaginary dust from his clothes, he cleared his throat before looking at her again.

"I would wait for you to say yes for the marriage," He said as he walked up to the door and opened the door slowly, "you can take as much time as you want to give your consent but once you do it, I expect you to put everything aside and be a good and faithful wife to me... and don't say yes until you are really ready." and with that he went out of her room, not once looking back to see how she was going to react.

Tiara broke down into tears because she knew she couldn't escape from here and one day or another when Xavier would lose his calm, he would drag her out and have her married to him and no one would come up to help her because no one can.