Entrapped

Chapter 10.

"I felt like my soul was being ripped apart from my body by your each and every dialogue, the way you were looking at that kid and the flirtatious exchange of glances that act demanded clenched my heart with sheer jealousy," He expressed his emotions vividly, not missing out any detail as if it had happened yesterday, "that was when I realized that I couldn't have you saying those words, giving your love to any other man because I knew a time could come where this would not be an act and it became my greatest fear." He was insecure and tried everything in his power to overcome it by trusting her, putting his faith in her.

"t-that does not make any sense, Xavier," Her eyes were wide, the sheer look of shock was plastered on her face, "all these years I thought.... I thought that you didn't like me t-that way..." a sudden slap of realization hit her as her mind replayed some memories from their past. "I-I thought you just agreed to marry me in honour of our late mothers j-just like I did."

The memories corresponding to his confession flooded her mind. She now realized why he only used to treat her nicely among other kids. She understood why Xavier was fine with sharing his toys with her, especially the cookies his mother used to bake for him when he was a little kid. He had never even allowed his own father to have any of them but used to give her a few without even asking.

At first, in her childhood days, she used to think that he was being nice to her because his mother asked him to and everyone knew Xavier was a mama's boy ever since he was little and he really hated to make his mother upset.

Everything changed after their mother died in a car accident while going shopping and their death bonded them together. She became his betrothed and Tiara agreed, keeping in mind that it was her mother's last wish before dying.

Tiara, while growing up used to have dinner with Blacks on Saturday night once in a month, she didn't want to go but had no guts to deny the direct command of the mafia lord, Xavier's father who set this custom which was mandatory to attend so that it could help Tiara to be comfortable around them.

She remembered that Xavier always used to come to her, to show his new toy that later turned into bikes and cars when he became a teenager. She had always thought that he was an arrogant man who used to show off his wealth but on the contrary he was an excited kid who wanted to share his happiness with her.

Xavier, although stopped at a certain point when he started to realize that she was not interested in his toys, cars and bikes. It was of no value to her. He realized that his friend was a girl, a frail one and didn't share common interests with him and that was how it all started, he started to see her as a girl and without his knowledge his heart was claimed by that girl who he was sure would turn into a beautiful woman, one just like his mother. He no longer saw her as a friend but as a girl that he wanted to be with and that's how the seed of friendship blossomed into the flower of love in his heart.

His last visit to her was to show off the new thing he received from his father as his birthday present when he turned twelve, the age that his father found fit for him to start learning what he was born to rule. It was the gun; he was very excited to finally get one of his own and he wanted to share his happiness with her like every other time unaware of the fact that it only made her grow distant from him by this habit of his.

The moment he pulled his gun out, that was hidden under her waist band, in front of that nine years old girl, her eyes bulged out from her socket and it was when the seed of fear got planted in her heart.

The nine-year-old Tiara looked at the twelve years old Xavier with utter fear in her innocent eyes, the way he had a mischievous smile on his face when he curled his fingers around the gun, his eyes were glinting brightly in excitement but to her it was a glint of power. She no longer saw Xavier as an arrogant kid starting from that moment, but as a son of an underworld lord, the one who would one day replace his father. She started seeing him as a guy who would hold power in the near future to kill anyone in the literal snap of his finger.

She screamed in utter horror, her eyes were fixed on that gun he held in his hand and Xavier, startled from her sudden outburst, tried to approach her as he kept asking her what was wrong but him decreasing the distance between them with that gun still in his hand made little Tiara more frantic after all it was weapon that could take anyone's life. Her eyes teared up instantly as she let out thick tears from her big green eyes and loud sobs from her mouth which clearly displayed how frightened she really was in that moment.

Her mother came to her rescue that day and comforted her weeping daughter unaware of the fact that the fear had already started placing its root on the warm soil of her heart. Xavier, on the other hand, was confused as it was least of his interest to make her cry and left her house dishearteningly, hoping that she would forget this in a day or two, completely oblivious to the fact that the seed of fear he had unconsciously implanted in her heart would make her heart freeze for his love, soul to ignorant to see his endless effort to win her and would turn her mind numb to understand his feelings.

"I have loved you way before then, Tia." His voice was as soft silk as he stared deep into her eyes, "I never needed an emotionally valid reason to marry you." The light green eyes of her seemed to bewitch him as he just wanted time to stop here, with her in his arms.

The intensity of his words frightened the very core of her soul and she came back to reality, out from the pool of memories. she slowly started to shake her head from left to right and her pace increased within a minute and she let out a whimper out of fright.

"This is w-wrong," She shuttered with her words as she struggled against him, "you can't love me! you have no right to do that!" She cried, he couldn't love her, he shouldn't because if she was his love then it just meant that she would have to live her whole life beside him, her existence would only be remembered as his wife.

"You don't get to choose who you will fall for, Tiara" His voice sounded defeated as if he had lost a great battle, an important one. "Because if given a chance to go back in the past and stop my younger self from falling for you then trust me, I would do that." He regretted loving her because even after what she had done to him, he couldn't resent her. He couldn't take his revenge from her for betraying him. He couldn't give her the same heartbreak to call it even because she had never loved him and what he hated the most was that even after all that he still loved her; his heart still wants her more than anyone.

He felt utterly pathetic and absolutely vulnerable for loving her and still hoping that one day she would perhaps love him back even though knowing the fact that she hates him, that she would rather embrace death than be with him. Was he that bad? He could not help but doubt himself.

"I can't understand w-why would my own mother want to marry me off to you?" She was shaking like a dead leaf that was falling from a tree in autumn. That was the question she had asked herself several times but had never gotten any relevant answer. She remembered that the maids in Black mansion used to talk about it whenever she used to visit them for custom dinner on Saturdays, they used to say how her mother wanted to marry her daughter off to Xavier because he was rich and would take over the throne one day and that reason seemed relevant to Tiara at some point because there was no other rational reason as to why would a mother like to marry her only daughter to someone who was an heir of underworld.

though another part of her never believed it, a part that knew her mother was never after any money otherwise she would have never married Tiara's father by abandoning her rich family but she chose to cling onto more rational facts because she needed a reason and when her mother died without giving her any, she accepted the first one she got to hear.

"I-it wasn't your mother, Tiara but mine," He unfolded one more secret she wasn't aware of until now, "my mother asked her for your hand in marriage and she agreed right away."

It didn't matter much because her mother agreed without any hesitation not even thinking that her daughter was too young to even play a matchmaker though one thing got clear that it was not her mother who initiated the idea. Tiara didn't know which part of the truth that he just unveiled she should cling onto this time because everything was as futile as her struggle to be away from here.

"Why would your mother want that? and why would my mother agree? why?" She wept, complaining and cursing over her existence. Why does her life have to be like this? Why her? she covered her face with her palms and she sobbed in sorrow.

"Because I asked my mother to and like every other time, she didn't say no to me." His mother had loved Tiara as her own daughter and when that fifteen years old Xavier asked her permission to marry Tiara one day, she was elated as she was aware of Xavier's feeling for Tiara and she knew his love was true and there was no reason to deny him from getting the woman he loved.

"y-you asked her?" Her voice started to change from weak to strong, "you asked her?" She pushed him away suddenly and created a good measure of distance between them.

"What do you take me as, Xavier?" she raised her voice, she started to get angry. "a toy? you asked your mother as if I am some sort of object?" She couldn't believe it, everything seemed to overwhelm her poor exhausted soul.

"No Tiara I-" Xavier got the idea which road she was going down onto and he wanted to clear himself right away because there were already tons of misunderstanding between them and he didn't want any more but she didn't let him complete what he had to say in his defence.

"Why would you do that to me? What have I ever done to you, Xavier? why does it have to be me?" She cried because if he had never asked his mother for her then she wouldn't have been in this mess right now. "Why did you do that? Why did you ruin my life by having me tied to you as your bride?" She wailed hysterically, her eyes were shedding tears of remorse. Had it not been for Xavier's selfishness, she would have been free to live however she wanted and free to love a man and start a family with him one day.

Xavier, on the other hand, felt like he was standing on the edge of a cliff and her accusations were just pushing him forcefully to fall down. She kept accusing him and blaming him for everything and was not ready to understand what he had to say.

"I was just twelve, Xavier! How could you ask your mother for me as your bride? How could you demand such a thing and how could your mother agree?" She demanded an explanation but Xavier knew she would turn deaf ears to any explanation, no matter how rational one he would give her but she would choose not to understand it in order to put all the blame on him.

"Did your mother and you consider yourself so highly that none of you hesitated, one from demanding me as his bride while the other one agreeing as if I wasn't a living person but your puppet!" She went overboard with all these accusations, drowning in a deep sea of emotions that seemed to swallow her sanity.

Xavier clenched his fist tightly, his teeth seemed to grit against each other and he felt a sudden rage that started to take control over him. He could bear anything or everything she had to say about him but she crossed the line by dragging his mother who was no longer in this world with him.

"Shut up! just f*****g shut your mouth, will you?" His cold demeanour seemed to return to him, his eyes blazing with fire and jaw clenched, "I was a fifteen-year-old naive boy that time for god’s sake!"