Entrapped

Chapter 35.

The darkness of the night had fallen upon them, the dark blanket that covered the beautiful blue sky was what she had been anticipating. It was both hell and heaven for her to let the clock hit twelve. Her eyes were fixed on the screen of her phone as she impatiently waited for it to be midnight.

It was thirty to midnight and she sighed in longing and anticipation. she just could not wait any longer but was aware that it was not in her to pass the time quickly, she was helpless against time. She had been helpless against many thing; she was helpless as a child when she had to force herself to play with Xavier while other girls used to play among themselves, she was helpless when her mother used to take her to the Black mansion, she was helpless when she could not voice out her thoughts about Xavier and agreed to marry him, she was helpless when she had to prepare herself to be a wife for him regardless the fact she never wanted to do anything with him and all because of the fact that she was a coward, a pathetic human being who let people around her control her.

And now that she dwells into it, she realized that she was always helpless and she hated herself for it. The only decision she had made for herself was when she decided to marry the man she loved, looking at him made her feel empowered as her heart used to beat loudly around him and it just gave her immense amount of power that she was in control of her heart.

Tiara knew that she was driven by the emotions when she risked it all to marry him but she was grateful that at least it was her own emotions that were manipulating her and not someone else’s. Though it might not be a right choice she had made but it was certainly alluring, a future with a man you love would sound appealing to anyone and just like a moth she was drawn to the fire of love that Mason had ignited in her.

Tiara did know if she regretted it or not because both the happiest and most painful moment of her life was associated with that decision, it brought her both, heaven and hell and she did not know which memory to incline on more.

She fluttered her light green eyes up at the dark sky but she did not find it scary, it was adorned with a full moon that was smiling brightly down at her and those twinkling little stars that appeared to be winking at her. The night was beautiful and the night sky was even more beautiful. She smiled gleefully upon the vast view but the sadness her eyes held tended to give her away. She was not happy but was trying to be.

She knew that her love would be looking upon her from afar, she was sure that he would have fought with any god up there to come and see her through the means of stars. She shook her head as some tears leaked out of her eyes and went down caressing her temple and finally meeting her hair line. Mason used to believe that people do not die, they just become stars when their soul has to leave the body. She had laughed at his adorable belief and had told him that she used to think that too but that was when she was a child. 

Mason had always been great with words, he was a man who used to joke around all the time to make sure she was smiling because according to him she did not smile often, he had told her that she needed to smile at life so that it could smile back on you; that was their first conversation with each other. She would have been probably offended if anyone who was talking to her for the first time had made that remark but everything about Mason was different to begin with. She found his words making sense.

Mason had an accountable reason to support his belief, “do you know why you cannot count the stars?” he had asked her that when he found her not believing in his theory and in response she had shook her head aimlessly looking at the sky while she had hugged his arm, “that’s impossible!” she had exclaimed loudly, “there are too many to count.”

He nodded at her answer and rubbed his thumb against the soft skin of her hand, “that’s right and the same goes with people, you could never count them because there are so many.” He had stated a fact that was associated with his belief.

“I guess the sky up there is pretty populated as at least there is life and death on earth to balance out the population but the poor sky had to give a place to every dead person.” She had made a sarcastic comment, as she was not still convinced and did not really think she could ever be. His belief was beautiful but however beautiful it was, it was still a story for children.

“no silly, even the stars are replaced.” he had turned to look at her, “a star is replaced when no one searches for them in the sky.” It was a firm belief he had and she had always admired him for that. He was not the one to impose his beliefs on others like her family back home yet she found herself believing in him because whatever he had said made sense to a whole new level.

“a soul resides in a star once it has to leave and will continue to remain there till the time some one looks for it in the sky, someone has to look for that person’s soul in that vast sky among many others and only who had known your soul and loved you with his soul would be able to find it, to keep it alive there.” It was what he had believed in and to her, it all made sense. It sounded true and it seemed true and ever since that she had developed to believe that belief of his.

“I hope you are doing well up there, my love.” She mumbled to herself but knew he could hear her if he was there and she believed he was, he would have done anything to live his belief. He was watching over her and she was sure of it.

Her alarm went off indicating that the clock had hit the twelve, she looked down and switched off her phone before looking up at the dark beautiful sky, her eyes landed on a bright star on the right of the moon and it’s brightness seemed to pull her attention towards it.

It was a strong feeling of déjà vu, she felt this strong pull before that had left her bewitched, her heart started beating loudly against her chest and she knew that she had found him, her soul had found his soul.

“Happy birthday, love” she wished him like she had been doing for the past four year, the only difference was that he was not standing there with that beautiful smile on his face. He was not here to hug her and ask for a birthday kiss and it was all because of her.

Mason was unlike her, he loved living his life, he loved the idea of being alive that was completely opposite of breathing oxygen and inhaling carbon dioxide. He had always said that not enjoying living is wastage of oxygen and the efforts that the god had put in making us human, he believed that if god wanted us to breath in and out then he would have made us tree.

Mason looked forward to every morning, he liked the thrill of what the next day would be giving him. He wanted to grow old, wanted to celebrate his thirtieth birthday, fortieth, fiftieth and then sixtieth. He wanted to see his wife grow old with him, and wanted to have a family of two kids. He wanted to be a father and wanted to see his children falling in love, he wanted it all with the bottom of his heart and Tiara knew he deserved everything he wanted.

He could have it all but made a grave mistake, he fell in love with her; fell in love with a girl he knew nothing about and she turned selfish the moment her eyes landed on him. She wanted to have him, to be with him. Tiara knew that she was at fault, that all it was because of her. It was because of her he died and did not get to live the life he deserved.

She reached for the light pink box that was placed on the bench beside her, she picked it up gently and placed it on her lap before opening it slowly. There was a simple cake inside, covered with white frosting. It did not say anything, there was nothing written on it as it represented their shallow story of love.

She pulled it out slowly and stretched it out so that the moon light fell directly on it, “I made it myself,” she smiled sadly, her green orbs pooling with tears and her voice seemed to c***k yet she tried to look happy for him, “I know you love it.” He would have loved it, he had a sweet tooth and he used to love her baking skills. He had even suggested she open a big bakery and had even come up with the name, Sweet tooth.

“I know I lied to you since the very beginning but I want you to know that I love you with all my heart.” She said what she had been dying to say to him, “I won’t beg for forgiveness because I know I don’t deserve any but knowing you, I know you would forgive me if I ask for it, and I don’t want you to do that.” She tried to put firmness in her voice but she could see she was clearly failing.

“I don’t want you to forgive who had wronged you and I am the cause of your destruction, so don’t forgive me and if possible, hate me.” She burst out in tears but her voice did not waver when she asked him to hate her, “I promise you I would make sure that everyone who had wronged you would pay for their sins. I have started with my own self, I am paying a huge price and the one who had killed you would pay soon.” She smiled with a flushed face as her eyes kept shedding the tears of her sorrow but she had announced her intentions out for him to know that she was determined and would not waver from the path she had chosen until the very end.

“I have sentenced myself to eternal misery, Mason, to repent for my sins and lies I have fed you.” She was in hell, no matter what her sacrifice was for but it still pained her to look at Xavier. She hated to pretend that she cared for him, she loathed the fact that she had to mask her hatred for him. She hated to lie she was living in order to make him believe her.

“I would sentence Xavier Black, that heartless man who had pulled the trigger at you without blinking his eyes to a life that he would loathe, I would give him nothing but pain and pain. I would make his life hell that he would want to crawl to his grave,” she announced with a menacing voice as the sinister hues danced in her green orbs, “and in order to have him put an end to his suffering I would give him a way out that would only damage him further.” A laugh escaped from her mouth that sounded anything but happy, she shot her head back and let out those sadist laughs as she knew nothing but victory awaits her.