Entrapped

Chapter 36.

It was past midnight when Xavier stumbled back home after wasting his entire day he had earlier intended to spend with his wife. He had wanted to take her out on a romantic date, buy her flowers and walk hand in hand.

Xavier was a huge fan of art and had always fancy the paintings to the extent that he wanted to become a painter, he would have become one if it was not for his responsibility as a leader. He could not just chase his own dream by leaving behind everything his ancestors had worked hard for.

He could have become an artist, had pursued his dream while continuing doing what he was born for but Xavier had firmly believed that his passion and profession would have never gone hand in hand. Artistry and ruling over the underworld was polar opposite, one was done to give comfort to eyes and heart while other was just a terrifying act that eyes dread to witness and heart shivered with it’s thought.

Xavier gave up on his dream of becoming an artist but the desire to admire art was still alive in him and he wanted to take Tiara with him to the museum date, he wanted to visit his favorite Prado National Museum, it has famous and magnificent paintings of different time and era and for a person like Xavier it was a piece of heaven.

Xavier had intended to take her out but not as a billionaire or a mafia king but as a common man who had intended to just spend some amazing time with his lover and he knew she would have like that but nothing went according to his plan. He found himself alone with his insecurities catching up to him and he stood alone with a glass of whisky in his hand as he faced reality that he had been very ignorant about lately.

Xavier was no fool, he could see that she was trying hard to be good with him. She was struggling to be a good wife to him and he realized that due to the tight spot she was in, in between constant struggle to be someone she had been told to become, she really was not getting any time to fall for him.

She was caught up in her responsibilities to actually take her time to love him, he was not doubting her. Xavier trusted her and a thought that she might have an ill intention never crossed his mind, he was just worried for her. Her sudden submissiveness was just bothering him and he felt like his presence was moulding her into someone she was not.

Xavier realized what she had said years ago about getting suffocated with the relationship she shared with him that time, he did not understand much at that time but now he could clearly see her with his own eyes, he could see her trying hard and a guilt that his presence was snatching the essence of liveliness from her life settled upon him.

He could see her eyes that were getting dull, losing the gleaming light they used to have day by day. He could see the visible effect of her trying to keep up with everything in her skin that had started to turn pale, the shiny glow long gone and it was all because of the fact that becoming his wife was too much.

The position of a queen came with great power and responsibility but Xavier had never asked her to carry that expected burden on her shoulder. He had never considered her a part of his underworld clan and he knew she did not want to be one. He knew she hated it, she hated the dark world she was born in.

Xavier just wanted her to look at him with love and treat her as a normal man, he wanted her to forget that her husband was a cruel and merciless mafia who goes around killing people. He never wanted her to feel degraded and that was why he tried to never talk about his dirty business in front of her.

He just wanted her to treat him like a normal man, a man who was in love with her. He just wanted her to be a wife of a billionaire and enjoy everything she wanted to do, he wanted her to love him. He wanted her to be like any other wife who nagged her husband, questioned her husband about his whereabout which Tiara had never done and deep down it always made him feel  that she did not care but Xavier had forced himself to believe that she just understood his line of work and was not interfering in his business.

Xavier had so many things that were troubling him about Tiara’s behaviour that he had started to notice lately. He had recently realized that in these eight months of their marriage she had never for once called him, he had checked his call history today and noticed that it was always him who had dialled her number. It felt a little odd to him as he had seen almost every married employee in his company getting a call at lunch time and by the time they leave for home from their partner but it was never a case with him. It felt strangely painful that his wife who always treats him good at home had never called him.

Xavier had offered her to take her out for shopping quite a few times before but she had always declined saying she did not wish to go. He had even handed her his credit card and had told her to go out anywhere just so she would not feel bored at home but she had not taken a step out of the house. The last time she stepped out of the Black mansion was when he took her out for a honeymoon.

Xavier was getting worried as he started to acknowledge the sudden change in her, he was getting insanely crazy thinking about the fact that if something was bothering her that she had confined herself in the house and isolated herself from the world. Xavier knew it was a worrisome problem and he could not push it any further and decided to talk about it.

They needed to talk, needed to communicate with each other to solve the hurdles or problems that might arise in between them and while thinking about that subject Xavier realized that they did not talk, there was no communication between them.

Xavier had decided that today he would address the issue between them no matter so that it could be resolved, he had an internal debate about it and was nervous but he knew pushing the matter further would only damage their relationship more. He had spent his entire day wasting his time in his thoughts and drinking to get the courage to talk to her, Xavier was not a coward and had always preferred talking to her in his sober state but he needed some courage as he had expected that things could go wrong and he needed to prepare himself for the worst.

He was going straight to the mansion but spotted a petite figure, wearing a white attire sitting on one of the benches in the garden. He narrowed his eyes as his vision was not clear enough and she sat on quite a distance, his scrutinizing gaze kept observing her for a minute and when he noticed that she had golden hairs, he knew it was her.

He found her in the garden and made his way towards her slowly, not making any sound to prevent himself from startling her from his sudden presence but did just that when his throaty deep voice escaped from his mouth, “what are you doing here?”

She flinched slightly at his unannounced presence and slowly turned her head to look at him who was behind the bench she was sitting on, “I just came here to look up and admire the stars.” came a monotonous voice that he was talking about and it really started to piss him off now.

A frown instantly made its way on his handsome face as he came around the bench while nodding at her. He occupied the empty space beside her and his eyes gradually fell on the white cake she had placed in her laps.

Xavier furrowed his brows together in confusion as a caressed line form its way on his forehead, he flickered his eyes up at her, giving her a quick glance he found her gazing at the stars with a saddened expression pressed on her face.

“What’s with the cake?” was it her birthday today? No, it could not be.  Xavier remembered it was still a month away and he would not have forgotten such a precious day, he never had.

“nothing,” came a simple reply from her and he felt like she sounded more distant than usual.

“let me have a piece then,” Xavier asked with a small smile as he shrugged off the unusual treatment she was giving him and tried to be positive although in reality his heart was shuddering in fear.

She turned her head to look at him, slowly very slowly and her emotionless eyes flickered with the hint of emotion that he could not understand, “Its not for you.” In their eight months of marriage she had never denied him anything, had never said no or tried to oppose him in any regard so it was fair for him to felt the sudden feeling of dejection he felt in his guts.

Fear, that’s what he felt at this instant the most. A fear that she realized what this relationship was doing to her. A fear that she might want to save herself by sacrificing the bond of holy matrimony between them. A fear that she might want a way out of all this that he could not give, he dreaded that they might end up right where they had started from.

“I wish to be alone,” she announced in a firm tone as her eyes kept fixed on the dark sky, “can you leave please?”

Xavier was hit by a sudden wave of confusion, he could not quite grasp the situation he suddenly found himself in. she was fine in the afternoon when he left her then what happened to her suddenly? Why was she behaving so coldly with him? He failed to understand that.

“Tiara,” he grabbed her elbow slowly as he tugged at her arm to force her to rip her eyes from the sky and to look at him.

He shifted closer, decreasing the distance between them and she could clearly tell that he was wasted, he reeked of alcohol.

“what’s wrong?” he asked with desperation as he stared into her eyes, trying to look for the answers to all the unasked questions he had for her.

She tore her gaze away from him and turned her head in the other direction as she took a brief moment to answer him, “nothing. nothing is wrong.” she stated firmly.

Xavier knew that was a lie, the expression she had on her face indicated otherwise and her voice, it did not even sound convincing to her own ears. It was a white lie and she knew that he could tell that she was lying.

“Tiara, whatever it is that is bothering you, share it with me.” He said softly as he grabbed her chin in a gentle grip and made her face him, “I am here to listen,” he assured her but she refused to look into his eyes, her eyes stayed on the ground.

She did not say a word and just kept blinking her eyes at the ground and he noticed that she had pursed her lips in a thin line. She refused to say anything.

“tell me, baby.” He said again but got no response from her. She sat there like a lifeless statue.

A few minutes passed and the outcomes were the same, he felt like he was losing his calm. Her silence was scaring him and he wanted her to break it, he needed her to break the silence because it was stirring a feeling of fear in him.

“tell me what’s wrong!” Xavier’s voice started to grow in volumes as he demanded her to speak.

“it does not matter.” She said pointedly, “don’t bother yourself with  it.” She waved him off, not really in a mood to tolerate his presence at the moment. Her heart was bleeding and she needed solace to put a bandage on it.

“it does matter, if its bothering you then it definitely matters,” Xavier exclaimed a little too roughly than he had intended to but he could not help himself, he was never a patient man, “so tell me already for the f**k sake!”

Finally, Tiara snapped out of frustration his persistent self had managed to build inside her and she admitted something she never wanted to admit, at least not yet.

“you want to know what’s wrong, right?” she asked in a hard tone as she put the cake on the other side of the bench and looked at him, staring right into his eyes with a frustrated expression on her face.

“then listen!” she spat harshly as she clutched his arm that was gripping her elbow, “today is the birthday of a man you have killed oh so heartlessly!” Xavier was confused for a moment as he failed to grasp what she was talking about, he had killed hundreds of men and he was not sure whose birthday today was— his eyes widened like saucers and realization soon dawned upon him and before he could say anything she beat him to it.

“Mason would have turned twenty six today but you killed him for no reason!” her voice cracked, and a layer of moisture blurred her sight, “he did not deserve to die like that, h-he did not. You s-should not k-killed him— he did nothing w-wrong.” She burst out in tears in front of him.

She wailed like a mad woman as she kept weeping and saying noncoherent words that were hard to understand but he could comprehend what she meant to say, “h-he did n-nothing wrong, I-I lied to h-him. He did not d-do anything. You s-should have killed m-me instead.”

“How am I-I s-supposed to l-live with this g-guilt, X-Xavier?”