Alice Cove

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

14.

I woke up again a couple hours later. A broken sleep and oversleeping made me feel groggy, I could go back to sleep again. Also, emotionally drained could have a factor. And Josh was gone, I had no barrier between me and a certain someone, and I didn’t want to bring this up. I wanted him to forget about it once again like the first time. But this time felt different. I had a feeling that I had hurt him, I could see it written all over his face when I saw him here yesterday afterwards. I needed advice. Candy. I know what you’re thinking, she’d spill the beans, but Candy wasn’t like that. She was the care free fun loving gal we all know and love, but when something was serious she was as serious as a heart attack. I texted her to come see me on her lunch break, which wasn’t that far away. Yes, I did sleep in that long.

Couple hours later I was sitting on the couch watching Netflix when Candy strolled in.

“I have arrived,” she declared, popping down next to me. She wasn’t wrong.

I felt nervous, “hey, you.”

“So what’s up?” She looked at me with a raised eyebrow, I knew she could tell something was up.

I didn’t even know how to start, I could feel my face going red.

“Spit it out,” Candy yelled, bouncing on the couch.

“Me and Brody almost kissed,” I blurted it out. Ripped the bandaid off.

Candy was frozen, with her mouth open.

“Say something,” I looked at her but she didn’t move.

I clicked my fingers in front of her face.

“Almost?” She queried.

“Is that all you have to say!” I almost screamed.

She laughed, that’s it.

“Help me,” I pouted.

“So how did this ‘almost’ kiss happen?” She asked.

“Well we were in the shed, just talking, working on the lawn mower. Then all of a sudden we were so close, and then it was so close to happening, and then I ran”

“You ran?” She raised her eyebrows at me.

“I ran,” I repeated, trying not to laugh.

She laughed for me.

“Why do you keep laughing.”

“How could you not see this coming?” She wondered.

I looked at her confused. “I have a boyfriend. Josh, you’ve met him once or twice?” That last part was dripping with sarcasm.

“Don’t deny the chemistry between you and Brody since day one.”

I thought about it, “we’ve kissed once before.”

Candy thought for a while, “I know.”

“You know!” What the hell, I never told her. I told you she was good at holding secrets.

“Brody told me like two weeks after it happened, we actually talk a lot you know.”

I thought about it, “yeah he’s come into the office a couple times asking for you, and when you’re not there he leaves. Even when I offer to help.”

“Because you can’t help when it’s you he wants to talk about!”

I took a pillow to my face and screamed, “I’m so f****d up right now.”

“I’m sorry,” Candy began, but went sour, “that you have two hot ass men both in love with you.”

“In love with me?” I took the pillow from my face.

“Yes in love with you! Do me a favour, realise your worth.”

“You’re meant to be helping me, not being rude about it,” I groaned.

“I’m trying! I’m giving you a taste of your own medicine.”

I thought for a moment.

“I don’t think Brody’s going to give up.”

I looked at her confused, “he doesn’t show anything.”

Candy rolled her eyes, “everyone can see it but you.”

I thought about it, maybe she was right. I helped Roy so much because he needed the help. But Brody, he still got me to help even though we all knew he didn’t need me. I passed screwdrivers when it wasn’t necessary. He worked on a farm before this, he could fix a goddamn motor. But yet he still asked me. He would come to my van and hang out, but I never once saw him hang out just with Candy or anyone else. I barely even saw him with Jasper when he was home. Or Jesse and Steph when they were here, his bosses.

I huffed, “what do I do?”

“Well, the fact that you even need to ask that shows there’s something there, right? Or else you’d be like f**k that I’m with Josh.”

She was right.

“But I love Josh,” I said truthfully.

“You don’t have to love one person, it’s never going to be that simple. And Josh is easy for you, maybe that’s not enough.”

“Wow, you’re like Gandhi right now.”

Candy laughed, but her eyes were sad for me, “but is it true?”

I thought about it, maybe. I shrugged. I didn’t want to answer.

“You’ll make the right choice, but just do it for you, even though it’s probably the choice that’s going to break someone’s heart. It just doesn’t have to be yours.”

“I think it’ll be mine either way.”

Candy gave me a hug and got up to leave.

“Candy.” I called her, just as she was about to walk out the annex. She turned to me.

“What does Brody ask you about me?”

She smiled, “how to make you realise.”

Almost instantly I felt alone. I wish Candy didn’t leave, I usually love being on my own, but it felt odd this time. Like completely alone.

I decided to do the one thing that always helped me, which I hadn’t done in a long time. Swim.

I got up for the first time today and got changed into my bathers. I wore a one piece considering it wasn’t warm at all. I put a big shirt over and grabbed my towel.

Stepping outside it was windy as well, I was going to freeze, but I didn’t care. I walked towards the beach with my head held high, shoulders back. Faking my confidence in myself. I had emotionally been ripped to shreds, but I was going to be okay.

I got to the beach and no one was around, of course, it was cold and the water was going to be icy. I didn’t care, I dropped my towel and took off my shirt and went off towards the water.

I walked in slowly and just as I thought the water was f*****g freezing! But I kept going, I didn’t run but I didn’t slow down, every wave that crashed against my legs made me adapt to the cold, but the more I stepped and the higher that water got made it colder. Until I was up to my waist and I just dove through a wave.

Coming back up for air the cold water had constricted my chest and I struggled to breath. But after a couple of moments my body temperature heated up mildly and I was okay. I wasn’t going to die. It was the rush I needed and I dove again. Coming up once more I swam hard towards the buoy in the distance. It took a while but when I finally reached it I held onto the bar and treaded water there for a while before turning back.

I looked towards Alice Cove. The ocean, then the beach, then the grassy hill behind it was beautiful. There was no one to be seen, apart from a dark figure up at the look out. Was it my stalker Harry watching me? Was it just a random person. Was it Brody? Either way, I stuck my arm up and flipped them off. Before diving under the water once again and then swimming back to the shore where the waves were crashing.

I played around for a while, swimming with some waves into the shore, then diving through them, to just sitting in the white wash. It put a smile on my face, and I felt happy again.

So I was starting to think the figure at the look out before wasn’t Brody, because as I get out of the water I now see Brody sitting by my towel with two beers

“Hey,” I say, sitting down next to him and grabbing the beer off him. I look straight ahead as I open it and let the cool beer slide down my throat.

“Hey,” he says back. Also looking forward.

It reminds me of the first time he sat with me at the beach, looking at the dark sky and listening to the waves crash, I wonder if he felt these feelings for me then.

We sat in silence for a while, until we both tried to speak at the same time. I laughed and took a swig trying to be less awkward.

“You go,” Brody motioned.

“How long have you been feeling this way?” I asked.

“What way?” Brody asked, trying to hide he knew what I was talking about.

“I spoke to Candy,” I declared.

“Oh.” Was all he had to say!

I looked forward again, I didn’t want to see his eyes, or any type of emotion on his face. I was angry at him, for making me have to make a decision.

“Since that first night we kissed.”

That was so long ago.

“You knew you liked me since then?” I was surprised. I was single then, that would have been a much better time to spring this on me.

“No.”

I looked at him confused.

“I knew I liked you since the first time I saw you, I knew I loved you since the night I kissed you.”

Wow. I was shocked. I didn’t know what to say next. I gulped really loud.

He chuckled, “I’m sorry. I know this isn’t ideal.”

“I thought I was too young for you?” I said.

He looked at me surprised, “I never said that.”

Didn’t he?

He looked back out at the ocean, I took the chance to look at him. He seemed just as torn up about this as I was.

“Do you even like Josh? He is genuinely your friend.”

“I do,” he looked at me pained, “that’s why this is so hard. But I can’t help it anymore. I tried.”

I looked at him for real. Even with the pain on his face he was beautiful. How was this guy claiming he was in love with me. It was quite attractive that he was cut up about this, not just trying to steal me away.

“This is really hard,” I put my head in my hand, rubbing my forehead.

“That means there’s actually a decision for you to make,” Brody half smiled, but it was a sad smile.

A shiver ran through me, and that’s when I realised I was still sitting in my bathers.

“Here,” Brody noticed it too and quickly unzipped his jacket and passed it to me.

“Thanks,” I put his jacket on. It smelt so much like him. All dark and mysterious.

“What are you even thinking right now,” he finally said. Giving up I think.

I looked at him dead in the eye, “I really don’t know. My heads a mess.”

I finished my beer, “did you really only bring one?”

He laughed, “yeah sorry.”

I smiled and shook my head. Was the first time for the last two days I felt at ease with Brody. Like it use to be not so long ago.

“Let’s go.” Brody stood up and put a hand out for me.

I looked at it for a moment, questioning it, but then I took it and he lifted me up. I grabbed my towel and shirt and we walked back to the park.

We walked close to each other but without talking, without speaking until we got back to my van.

I turned to face Brody and he nervously pulled a hand through his messy brown hair. It had grown a bit over the last few months.

“Well I’m going to shower,” I hitched a thumb behind me to my van.

He nodded, “okay. I guess I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight Elody.”

Night.”

I watched him walk off towards his van. I didn’t stop until I couldn’t see him anymore.

I shook my head going into my van, “what the f**k am I going to do?”