Alice Cove

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

13.

Josh was waiting for me at my van and my heart hitched into my throat. My mantra was gone. f**k.

What was worse was I saw someone else sitting on the other chair with their back to me. But I knew that head of hair. It was Brody. Double f**k.

I walked up cautiously, but as soon as he saw me he got up, a grin on his face. Wasn’t what I expected.

He walked over to me and embraced me in a big hug, giving me a kiss before keeping an arm over me and walking me back to the gazebo.

He sat back down, pulling me onto his lap

“Where have you been huh?” Josh asked me, kissing me again, this time on my cheek.

“Just went for a walk,” I glared at Brody, trying to communicate ‘what the f**k’ without saying a word.

“You’re freezing,” Josh stayed, rubbing my bare arms.

“I was just telling Josh how we got the mower started,” Brody looked straight at me, almost like he was communicating back ‘I haven’t said shit.’

“I have an old pick up truck on the lot, if you can get a trailer I’ll be happy for you to take it off my hands,” Josh told Brody.

“That’d be sweet man,” Brody nodded. How dare you take something off my boyfriend after what you just did.

Even just thinking ‘boyfriend’ after being so close made my eyes sting.

“I’m getting a beer, anyone want anything?” I asked getting up. I didn’t want either of them to see my face right now.

Brody raised his almost full beer like he didn’t. Josh stood up behind me.

“I’ll get one when I come back, I’m going to the toilet.”

“You can use the one in here,” I insisted.

“Not for what I need to do,” josh smirked and walked off.

Brody laughed as I went in and got a beer. When I came back I sat in Josh’s chair across from Brody.

“What the f**k are you doing?” I hissed quietly, making sure no one could hear, especially Josh.

Brody shrugged, “Elody, nothing happened.”

“Luckily,” I rolled my eyes.

“Elody,” Brody began, but I cut him off.

“What happened to not wanting flings, the next girl I’m with I’ll marry?” I used his words against him.

“I mean that.”

I scoffed, “then what was that then?”

“I can’t stop thinking about you,” Brody looked defeated.

“Bullshit,” I spat.

I could see my words hurt him. But I kept going.

“And what about Josh? Your right hand man, your mate? What about him. I’m his girlfriend.”

Brody looked down at his beer, “I know.”

I couldn’t help but watch the tattoo on his bicep flinch. God dammit.

“You had all this f*****g time and you decide to do this now? That’s ridiculous,” I exclaimed.

He looked up at me through those thick eyelashes, “I didn’t decide now, ever since I kissed you months ago I knew.”

I couldn’t help but laugh as I shook my head, “no, you can’t do that.”

“El-“ but he stopped, Josh was walking back over from the ablution block.

“Well I just lost 5kg,” Josh laughed.

He went straight back in to get another beer.

I literally skulled the three quarters left of mine, “me too please,” I called.

“Someone’s thirsty,” josh smiled, bringing me my beer.”

“Long walk.” I lied, getting up to give Josh his seat back, he pulled me straight back down onto him.

“Well guys,” Brody drank the rest of his drink, “I better leave you to it. Got to head out early tomorrow.”

“See you bro,” Josh shook Brody’s hand as he stood up.

Brody kept his eyes on me.

“See ya Brody,” I said, looking away.

“Bye.”

I went to get off Josh and take Brody’s spot but he pulled me back down.

“Hey you,” Josh looked up at me with love in his eyes.

I know it should make me feel guilty, but it made me soften.

“Hey,” I put my hands on his face and kissed him.

I didn’t see Brody or Jackson behind closed eyes, just Josh.

“I didn’t know you were coming over tonight.”

Josh smiled and put his head against my shoulder, “I have something to tell you.”

“That sounds bad?” But imagine what I could tell him.

No! I must remember that I was the one that stopped it. Where’s my mantra?

“It’s not bad, but it’s definitely not ideal.”

I turned and looked at him, confusion of my face.

“I have to go away for a couple day,” Josh began, “I need to go into town and do some farm stuff.”

“What town?” Perfect f*****g timing.

“Huntford.”

“Huntford!”

“I know, I know.” Josh kissed my back where his head laid, “twelve hours away.”

“How long are you going for?” I asked.

“Couple days,” he repeated.

I punched his arm, “specifically.”

“Well at least three, a day each drive and I’ll try get my s**t done in a day,” he thought for a moment, “most likely four.”

I wrapped my arms around him, “don’t go.”

He laughed into my chest, “I have to.”

I pouted and Josh kissed my bottom lip. The pout didn’t last long as he put a smile on my face.

After such a whirlpool of emotions I felt so content once again. I couldn’t deny Brody was still in the back of my mind, but Josh held a bigger place. Even further back was Harry and Jackson. Jackson was always going to be there, at least for a long time, my wounds weren’t healed. But what was I going to do about Harry? Four guys! I wondered if this is how Candy feels at any given moment. Actually no, she never gives any of her flings a second thought.

Flashback.

“Are you f*****g kidding me?” I yell at Jackson as we enter the house, “that was so embarrassing.”

I can’t believe he acted like that at the doctors surgery. A time we should be happy, we’re having twins, but no, he made a scene like a spoilt brat.

Jackson slams the door behind himself, “don’t you dare speak to me like that.”

He raises his voice, it booms down the hall as he comes towards me with, pointing his finger in my face.

I back up against the stairs no where to go, he holds onto the bannisters on either side of my head, staring intently down at me.

I immediately recoil below him, something about him seems menacing and scary.

“Give me time to think and process,” he bellows and then punches the bannister beside me with his right hand. He turns on his heels and walks quickly through the kitchen and outside to the back yard.

I look at the bannister and there’s blood splattered all along it. I feel my face and there’s a wet spot. I go to the bedroom and through to the ensuite, I check my face in the mirror and sure enough Jackson’s blood is on my face. I wash it off quickly as scared tears dwell in my eyes.

Jackson has been so completely loving and understanding that this was straight out of left field and I was scared. I looked down and my hands were shaking uncontrollably. I went back into the bedroom and collapsed on the bed, I couldn’t stop the tears now streaming down my face. I felt like I could not breath properly, it was hitching in my throat. I pulled my legs up to my chest as far as I could with this stupid belly. Stupid belly? Jackson may not be happy with twins but I was, how could I call something beautiful like this stupid. I held onto my belly as I scrunched my eyes shut and tried to focus on my breathing. I could feel my heart beat slow as the counting did the trick. Soon enough I was tired, I tried to block out everything and keep myself calm as I tried to fall asleep…

I woke up gasping for air.

It was still pitch black so it was still the early hours of the morning. I looked next to me and Josh was soundly asleep thank god. I laid back down and snuggled into Josh, he put his arms around me willingly and my face was in his chest, his smell enveloped me and put my at ease. I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes to try and go back to sleep, thinking of happy thoughts, mainly of Josh to try and conjure a better dream.

“Are you smelling me you creep?” josh said softly.

I laughed silently against him.

“Go back to sleep,” he whispered.

“I’m trying if you just shut up.”

Josh kissed my head and we fell silent.

I did my counting with my breathing and surely enough it wasn’t too long til I fell back asleep.

A couple hours later I was woken up to multiple kisses on my face, on my nose, my cheeks, my forehead.

“Are you trying to smother me?” I giggled swatting Josh away with my hands.

“Just loving you is all,” he said with ease, so carelessly. I had almost forgotten about yesterday, but the guilt blocked my throat.

“I’m sorry babe,” Josh said.

“Why? You’re perfect.”

“I know,” Josh raised his eyebrows smirking, “but I have to go.”

“Okay,” I rolled back over.

“No I mean, to town,” he said.

I sat up instantly, almost smacking Josh in the face. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pulled him back down to me, not letting go.

“Noooo.”

He laughed and kissed me, “I have to.”

“Mmm,” I resisted listening to him but I kissed him again, this time biting his lip.

He opened his mouth and his tongue darted towards mine and they tangled together. I hitched a leg up onto Josh’s hips and pulled him closer. He didn’t fight me one bit. I need all of him even if it was just for a moment before he left.

We were both already shirtless as Josh cupped my breast, and used his other hand to pull my panties off whilst we kissed with more force. Like we were hungry for each other. I know I was hungry for Josh. He helped wash everything else out of my mind.

My underwear was left hanging off one ankle as Josh pulled down his own. My hand instantly went for his member to find he was already hard, I stroked it a few times before guiding him to my entrance.

Josh thrusts and pushed himself deep into me, we finally broke our kiss as my head dropped back as I moaned. Josh held the back on my head so we were continuously looking into each other’s eyes.

We held that position while Josh moved slowly in and out of my as I thrust my hips in time with him.

I bit my bottom lip feeling completely exposed as Josh watched me intently.

I think this is what making love felt like, we weren’t f*****g, we weren’t in a race to make it to the end. We were savouring each other. I’d never made love like this before.

“I love you,” it escaped my lips, I didn’t even have to think about it.

“I love you too,” he breathed back.

We finally kissed again, it was long and soft.

And then we came together. From the built up emotion. It was bizarre but felt so good. We stayed in that position for a while before Josh kissed my collarbone and got up to get dressed.

“That was f*****g sick,” he said, jumping into his jeans.

There was the fun Josh again. I laughed. The s*x we had was like it was from a day time movie, then he comes out with that?

“Yeah it was,” I smiled.

After he got dressed he knelt back on the bed and tried to give me a quick kiss, but I held him a bit longer than I think he expected.

“I really do have to go now.”

“I know, I’ll be thinking about this morning until you get back and we can do it again.”