Forever Forgotten

I watched the clouds above me with great fascination, I felt like I belonged up there, nothing floating through my heart or head to disrupt the peace. I could hear children giggling and looked to my left as my two beautiful boys bounded towards me being chased by the most beautiful man I have ever seen in my life. He had dark hair and stubble that was well maintained, and I almost choked, looking at his physic. perfect arms and shoulders that could flip a car with ease. He was wearing a black singlet that looked a little baggy even though he no doubt had muscles all over that would be solid to the touch. he was wearing faded blue jeans that looked a little worn, but with him in them, there was no complaining. the one feature that was breathtaking more than the others were his eyes, a faded green that shone through his dark features, I almost felt violated just by a glance my way with the added combination of a smirk that sent shockwaves through my soul, i felt myself smile back. He was chasing the little boys who deffinatly shared his looks, and all three of them were giggling, heading towards me. How could I be so lucky, my beautiful family they all landed on me, including my beautiful mate, who kissed me and sent tingles throughout my body. That's when I started to come to my senses, where the hell am I, then a massive bang shot my back into a black void. beep...beep....beep. I was fighting against myself to open my eyes, and my body felt like it had been hit by a freight train. I saw the brightest light trying to blind me, edging its way into my sight as I slowly opened my eyes. I wanted to speak, but my throat was parched, and there were no words that could pennitrate through the parched barrier. Suddenly, I become self conscious that my breath probably stunk to all hell. "Mina honey, can you hear me, baby?" It was a man's voice that sounded chocked up, but something about it seemed familiar yet foreign. I turned towards the voice and was able to make out a silhouette, but my vision was still blurry to put a face to the stranger yet. I was trying to figure out where I was, but my body wasn't responding to anything either. Am I dead? Nothing was working, my brain was trying to get my body to move but nothing, my mind seemed to panick and it felt so wrong that my body could not join in on the frantic response to this situation. An image jumped into my mind of those two beautiful boys running through the field giggling towards me, and I had to gulp back a sob, but it did seem to get my unruly panick attack to calm down whoever was in the room probably heard the beeping getting erratic and grabbed my hand, trying to comfort me. "I'm here baby its okay, I love you." My hearing seemed to be fine, so at least that was a plus. something that felt sharp bumped my lips slightly, and I realized it was a plastic straw. I took a small gulp and tried to sit up, but nothing was working with me to create that action, and my eyes were still extrmly fuzzy, but at least I was starting to make out colors. "Where...am..I" I tried to stumble out, but it probably sounded like gibberish, and all i could think about again was the water. "Water," I begged. I felt the staw against my lips again and took another sip. It was almost erotic feeling my throat slowly come back to life. I repeated my first question, "Where am I?" The silhouette that was beside me chuckled a little "You're in the hospital, baby. I'm so happy you're awake,". I felt a hand run down my cheek before he continued, "You had to have surgery after the accident. Do you remember anything?" His voice seemed so genuine and full of love and so deep. I was trying to think but nothing, but that dream was coming to me, and even that was starting to dissipate, not even my own name was coming to me, great I thought now I've got memory loss. "I remember our boys." It truly was the only thing I could remember right not. "What boys, honey?" The dip in his voice made me think he was deeply worried about what I asked. " Our sons, are they okay?". There was a deadly silence that coated the room I had this sudden urge to pick my fingers or bit my nails it felt like an intense need, and the fact that, in this moment, it was impossible was ultimately sending my brain into a new evolution. I held my breath and thought of every worst-case scenario. even though I couldn't remember the boys apart from my dream, I knew I would wish for death if anything happened to them. the silhouette sitting next to me abruptly stood up, and I watched as the shadow man exited the room. I released my breath and then burst into tears. They were dead, and his walking out confirmed it. A part of me broke and shattered, I wished I was dead. I cried for hours and finally stopped as my throat was extremely parched again. I couldn't even breathe properly without coughing. I stared at the ceiling in a numb state, like all my senses were put on hold, and my brain had shut down to resemble my body. At least I'm consistent, I suppose. A doctor walked into the room, wearing a long white coat and eyes attached to the clip board running through the notes. she was pretty for an older lady, round face, short brown hair, and brown eyes. "How are you today, Miss Staten?" she said without raising her eyes from the clipboard. "Thirsty," I croaked out, trying to hint as best I could to the water bottle on the bedside table. It wasn't until I did this that I realized I could see properly, no blurry shapes or water filtered vision. I could see clearly, and it made me want to cry cause all I wanted to see was my boys, but I chocked back the tears as the doctor gave me some water. she smiled at me, and it almost made me want to smile back she sighed a little before putting the water back. "I came in before, but you were upset, so I checked your charts and left, I have a few tests I need to do before I leave if you're up to it." I just nodded my head, I felt so tired after everything, but I was enjoying not being alone. She asked how my hearing was and my eyes, I told her both were fine, and she did a few tests but advised me I would have to do a few more in a couple of days. She asked me to sit up, but I informed her I couldn't move anything below my neck. After I mentioned that, she looked at me puzzled. "That's unusual, I mean..um your chart says you came in unconscious from a head injury, is this true." The whole time she was here, I forgot to ask what brought me in here in the first place. "Im not entirely sure what happened to me, I remember nothing before waking up in the hospital." "Did your fiancee not tell you? Maybe it's better if you wait, and I can tell you with him, or he can tell you personally," I cut her off "No, can you just tell me please just tell me." "Okay, you received a head injury, plus scratches and bruisers all over your body like you were running in a forest at the time. The police are on their way to make sure you are okay and to ask you some questions." she said this while inching towards the door, letting me subtly know she wanted to leave now, but she did seem genuinely concerned if I was okay, I told her I was fine and would wait for the police, I'm not going anywhere anyway, I wanted to face palm myself for making a stupid joke but couldn't so just shrunk away on the inside. she gave a fake laugh like the one that says she hasn't heard that forty times in the last hour. After she left, I felt that darkness entering the room, and then a man came into the room dressed in a suit. I couldn't even guess who he was until he spoke. "Hi baby, sorry for leaving quickly it was just hard seeing you like this, I got you some flowers." I'm sure he now felt that awkward silence as I just stared at him with a look that made people think they have something on their face. He kept talking, but I couldn't hear a word. My mind kept drifting off to the man I loved, the father to my children, I knew who my fiancee was, and this man before me was not him.