The Ending Light

I'm use to it. A phrase that I use often. Sadly deep down inside i know there is no pain in this world you can get use to. Sometimes I hold my breath and pretend nothing's wrong. Most of the time it works but today it didn't. I felt my heart sink to my stomach and my saness fade away. I began to kick and scream like a five year old. I just couldn't believe she was gone my only friend in this world. growing up my mom would continuously loose her job and my father would beat her for it. The only person that would hide me in the closet and cover my eyes and ears were her. She was the only person I knew that were brave enough to stop the fight. Whenever I looked at her she always smiled no matter what was happening around us. From that day on I new type of person she was. She was honest forgiving and brave. At least that's what momma would say. She always got straight A's and encouraged me to do the same. She was my idol so I did what she said. When she died I didn't how to respond to this retched world anymore and I let the bullying get to me. I thought home school would stop it but that just lead me to online bullying. Should I die?