Being Enamored By Him

I hate you too

We all have our share of weaknesses, fears, and insecurities but love has that invincible power through which every fear, weakness, and insecurity can be mended......

Kabir POV

"Shhhh" Naina muttered while wiping her tears. And I was hell confused as I wasn't able to understand what was happening so rather than saying something stupid I stayed quiet.

"For once in your life just shut up and listen to me and this time let me speak. Trust me if you interrupt me then you don't have any idea what I will do to you" she glared at me and I wanted to laugh.

The way she was looking at me trying to keep her angry woman look made me laugh but somehow I controlled my emotions and just nodded as I don't have any idea what will happen if I disobeyed her. Even though my choice of words amused me.....

"Kabir you never listen to me completely and start assuming things which aren't even for real. Like the way, you reacted when I didn't tell you about my infatuation towards Avinash or the way you assumed you will lose me forever if I get to know about that Avantika. Urghhh, see this is your problem you assume too much. Now just listen to me carefully and this time You will not say anything until I am finished" Naina said trying too hard to be rough and tough but looked too adorable. I didn't reply I just nodded my head and she continued...

"When I was young, I and my parents always used to have silly arguments related to divorce, unhappy marriages, in end of it I always end up saying something which I let myself believe is so easy which in reality is bizarre, it's immature and it is unfair. My parents always used to say this to me, it is easy said than done. I understood their point today when I myself went through it I realized it is indeed easy said than done. Kabir, you know when I decided to leave you and everything behind I thought I can do it. I can move on and start my life all over again like nothing ever happened but it was really very irrational of me to take such a big step without even thinking about us or anything. I was just hurt and Kabir you know me more than anybody does in this whole world but you also know that my life has never been normal like yours. I have genuinely struggled a lot in my life to get what I want. When we got married I wasn't expecting you to be like this. I was hell scared about everything that was yet to come but again you never failed to surprise me and not even for once you let me fall. You are always the one who did and say all the right things in our relationship. You are too perfect for me Kabir. Before I even knew I fell in love with you and maybe our wedding night was the first time I seriously felt something more for you. You never forced yourself on me. You gave me my space and time to know you. I started feeling secure. You gave our relationship so much time that at times I was myself baffled with the way you were, it wasn't normal for me you know!. You never gave up on me, on us. I was broken from inside Kabir but you mended every piece of my heart again slowly steadily. Before I knew it bamm I was in love with you completely, madly and totally. But when I saw you that day at your office my every fear that was hidden somewhere deep inside my heart came back, it invoked all the insecurities that I buried with twice intensity. I was terrified seeing you with someone else for me it was like someone has stabbed me to death thousand times. My belief of never letting someone know the real me was like a reality check for me. And I couldn't take that thing, I wasn't able to think straight, also that time I had that opportunity of leaving everything you, our house, maa, dad everybody so I ran. Rather than facing or solving our problem, I ran from everything. When I realized that I still cannot let you go and no matter how much I try to hate you but this love that I have for you will always overpower everything. I hate you soo much but I also love you so f*****g much that I can't let this go that we have between us. This time I know I acted like a coward but now I genuinely do want to give our bond, relationship one more chance. This time I promise I will never ever run away from you no matter how pathetic the situation will be. I will never leave you ever" she said all in one breath that till now she was out of breath and tears were flowing freely from her eyes.

To say that I was stunned after her revelation was definitely an understatement. I was flabbergasted. That moment I wanted to comfort her but I couldn't I was so absorbed by the things she just said that I was trapped in my own thoughts. I never see things like she does. I know that her parents relationship was never strong and her fear of losing me brought all those fears alive.

Fortunately, everything was going so good previously but one stupid mistake or should I say misunderstanding brought back everything that she ever feared. She thinks she is a coward no way! She can never be one. One thing which I was grateful for is our bond is so strong that it can overpower everything. Keeping every thought that I was battling myself aside I walked towards Naina pulled her in my arms and keeping both the hands on her cheeks I took a minute and then said.

"Naina, you are not a coward. In fact for me you are one of the strongest women I have ever known. Even after going through so much in your life you gave our relationship one chance.... and also everything was perfect it was just I gave you that one reason because of which all of your fears were back again.

You know what Naina now I think our bond is much more stronger than it ever was. I don't have any secrets which you don't know and you also don't have anything to hide it is a very positive and good thing. We are here for each other for forever. This time we both will never let each other go. I am really sorry that I gave you that one reason because of which we both suffered so much but I am also glad that now after hearing all those words somewhere I know you better now. And yes I hate you too for leaving me behind and not sorting out anything. You just left us Naina, we could have talked and we could have avoided all this, it was not a very great step but knowing all this makes it more clear. Also, it is true that I love you so f*****g much that I was hurt badly when you left me. You weren't ready to listen to me. I also had my share of fears too Naina . This is one reason why I could never tell you about Avantika. I never thought if I will meet her ever again in my life. I can never lose you Naina just the fear of losing you makes me sick. Let's just start all over again. Let's forget everything and start a new beginning? I am really sorry Naina for not telling you" I said cupping her cheeks and she leaned into my touch.

"Kabir. I am sorry too but I love you" She said ignoring my last question and hugged me.

I hugged her tightly keeping her secure in my arms forever is what I intend to do and this time forsurely she isn't going anywhere far from me.

"I love you too Naina more than you could ever think." I said every word with utmost sincerity and meant every single word.

After confessing every feeling and every emotion we both were lost in each other arms. It was like I was breathing again and was finally at peace. There were still some things that we have to sort out but I guess all those can wait. I was finally feeling great about my decision of coming to Canada. But the most surprising thing was that nothing happened the way I supposed it would.

There is a reason why it is always said that somewhere everything that will happen in your life is already written. As human beings you can just do one things is you can put your efforts this is it after that you should always leave everything to your destiny. I never thought I would ever get married to a woman like Naina but that happened too and not only that I fell in love with her.

There aren't enough words to describe how much we missed each other but there is one thing for sure is that having each other back in each others arms is the most blissful feeling......

Love is actually now in the air.... I hope this air never fades and always be there for everyone..... today I am understanding what being in love feels like.....