Rebirth: My stepdad is mine

Lily Pov “You’re a slut! I’d have killed you when you were a baby if I knew you’d grow up to be a b***h!” “How could you seduce your stepdad?! He’s my man! I hate you!” My body twitched desperately on the cold floor, my head and heart pounded with the vicious words that rang in my brain. Those toxic words that will never be forgotten, those hard times that will forever remain in my memories, haunting me every day and night, just like this time. I felt trapped in the cage and different memories haunt me. I tried to break free just like always and wake up to my painful reality but it seems today was different as no matter how much I moved or yelled for the voices and images to stop, it just wouldn’t. Images flash by and so are voices. Sometimes it was a woman looking at me with hatred and disgust as she yelled for me to die. Sometimes it was the face of a man with an indifferent and cold expression that looked at me with such softness. Sometimes, it was me holding a cold body in my arms as I cried and pleaded for it to wake up and other times, a crazy image of me hitting the head of the vicious woman flashed in my head. They trapped me, they screamed, and my brain and body responded to them. They obeyed them and tied me down as if they were forcing me to watch how everything began. My body trembled, sweat soaked my blue prisoner’s clothes, but even if I was conscious of my surroundings, unfortunately, I still couldn’t open my eyes or move. Then the memories came rushing again. How it all began, how I landed in this hot mess and why my life would forever be saddened. The woman who screamed in my memories, the vicious face that looked at me with disgust and anger was my mother, or should I call her step-mother because she looked and acted like one. My mother…Bianca… From the day I began to have a sense of my own, I had always known my mother didn't love me. From the age of four, I was left alone to find a way out on my own while she went out drinking and f*****g around and the only time I saw my mother was when she brought in men to f**k in our house. From a young age, I knew what it meant to be mentally and physically abused. I knew how to beg for food and shelter from the neighbours and also knew how to hide from my abusive mother until I’d become numb to every abuse. I lost my sense of emotions—No feeling of pain, excitement, or sadness, just like an emotionless robot. But still, I tried to survive. I pick meals from the bin, beg for food and clothes from the neighbours who find me pitiful, fight for meals with dogs and then endure being beaten and locked in a dark room by her when she comes back home drunk. Just the thought of those dark days made my blood surge with despair. It felt like I was back in those dark times and seeing my little self grow gradually to become a scruffy but tall and beautiful young woman, I felt pity for myself. But then, it all ended when that man came. I could feel the pain I felt lessened at the thought of him, I could feel the corner of my lips curl up when I thought of that mature and handsome face and it felt like he was in front of me, chiding me to study. That man… the one I love, the only man who reached out to help me when he found out my situation, the only man who smiled at me and was ready to change my situation, though I knew he wasn’t someone simple, but still, I didn’t care, because he was my world and salvation. I fell in love with him even when I knew it was forbidden, even when I wasn’t sure he would love me back, or that it was dangerous, but I couldn’t help it.. I really couldn’t… Berlin Cole…My stepdad, the husband of the vicious woman who is called my mother. Just the thought of that woman and my every being wouldn’t stop clamouring to stab her again! I should have stabbed her a million times! I didn’t regret it…. I never did… She ruined me, not only did she ruin my life, but she also ruined the only man who cherished me, the only light that had managed to shine into my dark life, she killed my soul and heart, she returned me to the dark place again. “Ahhh!!” I screamed but only whimpers sipped out. I didn’t want to recall the pain, I didn’t want to recall that darkness again, but they wouldn’t listen to my plea, instead, they pulled me to watch it all over again. The moment when my own mother had sold me to the old gang leader to be his s*x toy, the moment I pleaded for her to let me go, the moment I fought back and asked why she did this and if I was her daughter, her replies had been so devastating. She had said I had seduced Berlin, she said I was a b***h who had taken away her man, but the truth was, Berlin was never hers! He didn’t love her but their relationship was a deal, but even if I knew that, I still kept my feelings in my heart because I knew he was still my stepdad and it was forbidden to love him, but she didn’t let me go. She pushed me to hell with her jealousy, she hated my guts for falling for my stepdad. She killed him… they killed him.. “Beelin…” I whimpered that name again. It was like I could still see the man who had protected me from the gang boss who tried to catch me after I escaped. I could still see his strong frame protecting me behind him as he fought hard with them. He protected me from the start, and still protected me from being shot. He had pushed me from an incoming bullet and got shot, not just once but twice! My eyes shook and closed tight, my breathing became harsh and cold. My fist scratched the prison floor. I really don’t want to see the cold scene again, I really don’t. “Please… wake me up..” I cried and shook, but the image of his bloodied face still filled my mind. They haunt me crazily. The man who protected me, died for me, and he left me alone in this world. I could remember the loneliness of burying him alone, the pain of seeing his cold picture. I had wanted to call his family but I knew nothing about the man I love, so I did it all by myself. But still… that woman didn’t let me go. She had come to taunt me with words, told me to be fast as I still needed to marry those who had killed Berlin, so I did the unthinkable— I hit her head with a stone! I had continued hitting her until she died. Hatred had filled my mind, I wanted to kill them all. The one who had caused all this, the one who had shot him, every one of them! But who knew I had only managed to kill just her… my mother who had caused all my misfortunes, the woman who was behind his death, but when I wanted to find the rest and avenge Berlin, I was arrested in front of his tomb. I was handcuffed in front of his tomb, but I’m glad I was able to kill the one who caused all this… My heart pounded against my chest, and my eyes trembled. My brows furrowed in a tight lock and my blood surged. The images all flashed by, and then all that remained was a cold tomb and the face on the picture. Suddenly, I felt my heart beat slow down and my breathing seize. “Am I about to die?” I whispered inside me, but instead of being sad, I felt relieved. It was nice to die too. After staying in this prison for 7 years, it was time to end it all and meet the man I love in the other world. “Berlin…Berlin…” I choked, “If there is another world, I want to have you.. I want to be yours…” Tears slid down my cheeks and down to my lips. My breathing constricted and it felt so painful. I found it so hard to breathe and I knew my time was coming… my body had failed me. But then, before I give in to the darkness, I wish.. “If there are gods, devils or angels… Make me come back to this world and I promise that this time… I’ll make my Stepdad mine!”