From A Place Behind The Smile

Salt On My Pillow

Once upon a time, we were birds of a feather

And now I'm taking meds just to hold it together

And when I try to bring it up and hit you with some real talk

You kick in your defenses, and you leave my heart in lines of chalk

To tell the truth, I don't believe you understand love

It isn't something perfect or a gift from above

It's a journal of the moments that you're holding one another up

And the times you laugh and hold each other, knowing it's never enough

And then there's one more thing that was always gonna happen

And if it hurts to watch, it seems I'm gonna end up a bad friend

But picking up the pieces of my heart, I've grown so tired of

Why can't someone fight for me when I have only shown them love

My attempts to fix our problems got me left batting zero

And if I want to spice my food, gonna use salt from my pillow

The worst thing that I've found is that when you cry yourself to sleep

You wake up, and the nightmare's real, not another lucid dream.

I don't know how much I can take while walking this road

My life has got me with a now unbearable load

My fears had all but gone away the day you smiled and took my hand

I wish the house of love we'd built had not been placed upon the sand.

I know me, so I'll lock away my feelings of hurt

My love for you wants just good things it's what you deserve

But please forgive me if there's times my heart starts showing weakness

I held on too long to a love I now believe did not exist

But I can't believe the times we shared are all at an end

I feel that it just isn't fair to be reduced to a friend

But I will love you from now on because I know that in my soul

That one day, it could all work out cause I don't want to let you go

I've been at work lost in a fog for most of the day

I wish I had the words that would convince you to stay

But if I have to chase you, there's no point in telling you what's inside

I know that it would hurt me when my one request would get denied.

Onward I will move. My stride is strong but sometimes weak.

I found a balance in my life that stopped me feeling miserably.

I have begun a new life that will help, I suppose.

Maybe this time, my love can be much more than a ghost.