Oxytocin: The Love Hormone

Pacing back and forth throughout my apartment I didn’t know what to feel or how to feel about the disaster that just occurred today. “How could I be so blinded, how could I be fooled for the last five months of my life!” screaming in the mirror in my bathroom my hair was disheveled, curls tangling as my hair draped over part of my face. My eyes were darker than normal, almost turning black from the anger that surged inside me. I didn’t know how to process this much amount of anger inside of me, keeping the urge of punching the wall inside me frustrated beyond belief. I almost didn’t hear the knocking on my door. Storming towards it, if it was him I figured I would strangle him or worse he betrayed me. I was loyal to him for three years and the last five months he was playing around with some, some tramp.  Opening the door fist balled up and to my relief, it was only Dessa with a small smile upon her face that just said sorry and held a bottle of wine and a bag of Chinese take out in her hands. “I thought you might need this after what happened today.” stating the obvious she knew me better than anyone we’d been friends since college. Letting her in all I could say was “Thank you” looking at me “You don’t have to thank me, Raven, this is what we do even if Derek didn’t cheat on you I’d still be here it’s Wednesday.” She was right. I was so full of rage that I forgot what day it was. Derek may have been a piece of s**t but Wednesday was always Dessa and Raven's night takeout and wine. A sense of calm came over me. She just had that effect on me for some reason. Her bluntness was something most people didn’t like but I enjoyed having someone around who didn’t hold punches when it came to telling me how it was. “Are you calm and able to talk about it now?” She was scanning my face looking for some sort of sign that I wanted to talk. Her dark skin and dark curly hair made her eyes look like two sapphire gems on her face. She was beautiful for sure. “I guess” I gave in since I knew she would keep pressing the issue if I didn’t talk about it. “I’m more than angry, I'm pissed off and if I didn’t have any sense to me there would probably be a few holes in my walls right now.” handing me a full glass of wine she just sat down on the stool in front of the counter. Her eyes pressed me to continue “If he wasn’t happy why didn’t he say something to me?” starting to feel as if it was my fault I started noticing more of the lies that he told me. “Don’t blame yourself, you know I never liked him but I never wanted it to end like this” pausing for a snarky response to come from me since I’d normally defend him in some way or another instead I decided to let her continue “I always thought you would come to your senses and the fact that you were with him for three years and he never brought up moving in together or avoid the subject was a red flag for me alone.” she was right every time I would bring up moving in together he would push it off and want to talk about it another day which made me question how many other women were there at the same time I wasn’t sure I wanted that answer. Dessa watched me and she knew what I was thinking except she didn’t say anything. “What’s next for me Dee? I might as well throw three years of my life away wasted on a man who cheated on me.” Studying my face looking for the right answer Dessa may be blunt and gets straight to the point but when it comes to the people she cares about which is not many though I was lucky enough to be one of them. “You don’t need a man. Do you hear me say you have a wonderful career? You are strong and independent, you don’t need that piece of shit.”  She was right. I am a successful reporter and I did have a big story coming up. I actually have to go to D-Tech on Friday. Doctor Russel Freedmen just created some groundbreaking nanotechnology that would change the medical industry for good and could even help discover a full-on cure for cancer. This was a story that would really set my career into action. I had side columns published but this would be a cover story for Tomorrow's News Magazine. A full spread with my name on it. That's the type of writer I want to be. I want to prove that the world is worth saving just as much. I’ve had this interview set up for months. Mr. Russel Freedmen wasn’t the easiest man to track down and didn't do many interviews. When I found out he went to school with an old friend of mine I begged them to help me get an interview with him. I used up almost all of my resources just for this one interview. Not many people have gotten in-person interviews with him; most have just talked to him on the phone and he gives short answers.  “You’re right Dee as you are most of the time.” swirling the wine in my glass and picking at my fried rice she looked a bit shocked and was just grasping exactly how much Derek had hurt me “I know some people if you want to shake him up a bit if you want.” she was just trying to cheer me up with a bit of sarcasm but at the same time, I wouldn’t put it past her to actually know someone since she was a security guard at one point. “Nah, it’s really not worth the trouble plus I have that big interview Friday. So I can throw myself into that project to distract myself a bit.” I sighed to reassure her I was going to be okay. It might not feel as if that’s the case right now but I had a feeling this story is really what I needed to secure my spot in the magazine to get more features and to write for other magazines as well. I could be a sought-after writer, magazine companies would be coming to me to see if they could feature a story that I would be working on. This interview is a big career move of mine and no one can bring me down, not even that cheating asshole Derek.