Contrasted Desires

Rain. It was the only thing that I could think of that might help the mood I was in. The rain may depress most people, but not me. I loved it. I loved how it sounded when it hit the pavement, I loved how it smelled and I loved how it made everything look so fresh. I sat on my window seat and stared out into the blinding sun. It was hot today. I looked down to the street where people walked beneath my window on the blistering sidewalk. I could see the wavy heat lines rising up from the pavement. I sighed and turned from the window. My cat Lexington walked lazily over to me and rubbed his head on my hand. I sighed again, put my hand on his head and rose from my seat. I crossed my small living room over to the couch and flopped down. It was Saturday. I should go outside and get some sun on my skin, but I just couldn’t get up the energy to go. I closed my eyes, trying to block out some of the light but it was just so bright. Lexington climbed onto my lap. He purred and rubbed his head on my hand again. I opened my eyes and looked into his big green eyes. I smiled ruefully and stroked his long fur. “Yes, I know I should go outside.” I said to him, smiling. “I just don’t want to.” He stared at me for a moment, then stepped off my lap to curl up in the corner of the couch. I put my head back and closed my eyes again.  I had moved to New York to get away from the heat of California.  I had grown up in a small town, with big dreams of being a famous writer.  Writing novels had been all I had dreamed about growing up.  I had been a good student, all my grades were good but all I wanted to do was write.  Once I graduated, I went to the University of Southern California.  I couldn't wait to take the journalism program and get my dream started.  I loved the program, but I didn't want to do broadcasting, I just wanted to write, and get my ideas out there.  I finished with an undergraduate degree in journalism.  I was frustrated at life in California, I never felt like I quite fit in with the people there.  Both of my parents had died when I was young in a car crash when I was fiften.  I had a sizeable inheritance, and had received a large settlement in trust from the driver of the other vehicle, who had been drunk and speeding.  I was an only child, and didn't have any ties keeping me in California, so I packed my stuff and moved to New York with aspirations of writing for a magazine or the New York Times. When I got to New York, I was instantly in love.  Having come from a small town in California, the big city was amazing.  I was continuously amazed at the hustle and bustle.  I felt immediately like I was home.  Something about New York made me feel like this is where I was supposed to be, this was my home.  I found a nice, affordable rent controlled apartment and set myself up.  I had been here for 3 years now.  It's amazing how fast a place can grow on a person.  I'd never been so happy and comfortable.  I started working in a retail shop, just to make some money while I looked for writing jobs.  It was a nice job, flexible hours and allowed me to meet some people.  I went out sporadically, but wanted to concentrate on finding writing jobs that I liked, and besides, I was kind of a homebody. I felt very comfortable in my life, and had never been more content than I was in my own apartment, with my cat.  Life was good so far.  I was just starting to fall asleep when I felt a drop of water on my forehead. My eyes snapped open just in time to see another drop of water fall from the ceiling. “What the....” I muttered to myself. I stood up and followed the jagged water trail on my stucco ceiling to the corner of the room. “Great, just great.” I thought to myself as I walked into the bathroom. I flicked on the light and gasped. A large bubble, of what I presumed was water, was slowly separating the paint from the ceiling. My jaw dropped open at the sight of it. I spun quickly and dashed to the phone to call the super of my building. “Yea...what?” the gruff voice on the other end of the phone answered. Buddy, the superindentent, was a big, rough looking man with thick fingers, dirty finger nails and a mouth that was just as dirty. He always had a five o’clock shadow and a cigarette hanging off the side of his lips. He was balding, with beady blue eyes and deep lines around his eyes and on his forehead. He reminded me of a guy who had had a very hard life, worked hard and had just taken on this job and that where he was was where he was going to be forever. I kind of felt sorry for him. “Hi Buddy, it’s Cara from 306. There’s a leak in the ceiling, and a big water bubble in my bathroom. Think you could come and take a look?” I asked, looking back into the bathroom. I glanced at the bubble again and rolled my eyes. “Yea, I know ‘bout it. Feller above ya ‘ready called me. Said that ‘is toilet is plugged and leakin’ onta the floor. Sorry ‘bout that. Meant ta call ya.” he said in a nonchalant voice. He coughed and I jerked the phone away from my ear. “Ok, well, do you know how long it’ll take? I don’t really want this bubble popping and making my bathroom a pool.” I frowned.  The guy above me?  That apartment had been vacant for a few months. I didn't even know there was someone living there.  Shows how much I pay attention to people, I thought to myself.  I hadn't even seen anyone moving in. “I’ll come by in ‘bout half an hour. I gotta go down to the basement an’ shut off the water, then go up to his place and see what the problem is. Hang on till then.” He said roughly and hung up. “Great, thanks.” I said to the dial tone. I sighed and replaced the phone. I grabbed a few of my not-so-great towels and put them down on the floor in the bathroom. If that bubble did start to leak, I didn’t want to have a lake on the floor, might as well be proactive. As I laid the towels down, there was a knock on the door. “That was fast! I thought you said half an....” I flung the door open and stopped mid-sentence. Instead of the stalky, balding, maintenance man was a tall, brown eyed god. I gasped, startled. “Uh...sorry you’re not Buddy,” I stammered. He smiled, showing a row of perfectly straight white teeth. “No problem. My name is Derek Grant. I live above you, I thought I’d come down and introduce myself since I assume I am making a mess of your apartment.” He held out his hand and smiled again. I nodded and let him take my hand. I felt my heart beat faster as he touched my hand. We stared at each other for a moment, his dark eyes locked on mine. I struggled to breathe for a moment, then he pulled his hand away. “Oh, uh, yea, I’m Cara. Cara Potter.” I smiled, “The water is just making a new ceiling fixture in my bathroom.” I chuckled ruefully and motioned to the open door.  "What happened up there?  This is a heck of a lot of water." I mentally shook my head at how silly that sounded. “Unfortunately, I believe that my toilet has been leaking around the seal.  I have been away for about a month,” he said, taking a step towards me "And I just returned yesterday.  I didn't realize that it was leaking." I hesitated. I didn’t really feel comfortable letting strange men into my space, let alone one that was inadvertently ruining my bathroom. I took a step back. “Um, sure, I guess.” I said, and held the door open a little more. I stepped to the side and he gracefully walked by. He smelled amazing, like cinnamon, ginger and something I didn’t quite know. My heart fluttered in my chest again. I took a deep breath and followed, but kept the door open. “Ah, I see.” He said, gazing at the growing ceiling. “I guess this is more of a mess than I expected.” He ran his hand through his jet black hair and gave me a half smile. I felt my heart flutter again. “I am expecting it to burst at any moment, hence the towels.” I smirked and pointed to the floor. He glance down and back to me. His coffee brown eyes locked onto mine again. His gaze was so intense, it made me slightly uncomfortable. We stood silent for a moment, I cleared my throat and looked down. “Well, I supposed I should get back up to my apartment, I’m sure if Buddy comes by and I’m not there it will not be a pleasant scene.” He smiled easily and walked to the open door. “It was very nice to meet you Cara. I’m sure I’ll see you again.” He stopped in the hallway and turned to me. “Perhaps I can take you out to dinner to make up for this mess.” I blushed, not really sure what to say.  It was an unexpected thing for a stranger to say.  I was surprised, but not unpleasantly.  He had charm, I could see that.  He was the kind of man that got what he wanted, I could tell by his smile and the way he held himself.  This was a man who knew what he wanted, and I was willing to be that he usually got it. “Uh, I'll think about it.” I answered, putting my hand on the door and smiling sheepishly. “I’ll see you around.” He smiled at me again, a wide smile.  His brown eyes crinkled at the corners, and I melted a little more. I managed to smile back this time and closed the door. I put my back against the door, leaned my head back and closed my eyes. What just happened? I’d never had that kind of reaction to anyone before. I ran my hand through my long brown hair. I sighed and pushed away from the door. What was it about Derek that was so appealing?  I mean, other than the fact that he was drop dead gorgeous, clearly a good dresser and charming as hell, there was something about him that was mezmerizing.  He was incredibly graceful, his movements were hypnotizing and his smell....I shook my head.  Snap out of it!  I didn't even know this man, it was as if he had appeared out of nowhere!  I sighed and walked down the hall toward the living room.  The bubble had begun to leak, and was draining onto the towel I had put down on the floor. “Great.” I said to Lexington, who was standing on the arm of the couch looking around the corner at me. I stopped and glanced in at the watery mess. I rolled my eyes and waved my hand at the wet towels on the floor. I’d clean it up later, I didn’t feel like doing it now. I walked back to the couch and flopped down.  My mind drifted to Derek. What was it about him that made my heart flutter? Why did he have that reaction on me? I could still picture his deep, smoldering eyes, white teeth and smooth black hair. He was attractive, but I’d seen attractive men before. I shook my head, trying to shake him out of my mind. A knock at the door brought me back to earth. I pushed up from the couch and walked back to the door. “Who is it?” I called, not wanting a repeat of earlier. “Buddy.” The gruff voice returned. I sighed a sigh of relief and pulled the door open. Buddy stood there in a pair of denim overalls which looked about two sizes too big. He had a red flannel shirt underneath, unbuttoned with a white undershirt. His beat up blue base ball cap was crooked, the brim off to the left. He was holding a crescent wrench in one hand and a bucket in the other. “Just wanted ta check that bubble. Haven’t been upstairs yet, thought I should take a look and see how much of a mess this will be to clean up later.” He said gruffly, frowning. “Well, there’s no more bubble. It started draining just before you got here.” I replied and opened the door wider, motioning him in. He brushed past and walked into the bathroom. I heard him whistle, then cough. I stayed by the door waiting for him to come out. He appeared quickly and trudged out into the hallway. “I’ll be back in a while. The water’ll be off for ‘bout an hour. I’ll send someone to fix your ceiling. That’ll prolly take about a week to fix. You might wanna make other arrangements cuz your bathroom will prolly be outta order for that week.” He barked at me, “I’ll letcha know.” He turned and stalked away. I sighed and l closed the door. This was turning out to be an awful inconvenience.  I would have to call Kya, my childhood friend who also lived in New York, to see if I could stay with her while my ceiling was being fixed.  She and I were very close, and had been for most of our lives. I groaned and walked back to the living room. Lexington had positioned himself on my window seat in the sun, lying on his back. I walked over to him and patted his belly.  I glanced outside, and down the the sidewalk.  Maybe I should go for a walk, clear my head.  I was still feeling the effects of the man upstairs, and with the new news of me being proverbially homeless for a week, I was feeling like I needed some fresh air.  Lexington, who had been purring contentedly as I absent mindedly stroked his soft belly suddenly sprang up and hissed at the door. I frowned as I heard a soft knock. I walked cautiously over to the door and looked through the peephole. Derek smiled his perfect smile and my heart skipped a beat, my breath caught in my throat and my mouth hung open in surprise.  Could he see me?  I gasped and pulled back.  I instinctively ran my hands over my hair smoothing out my curls, and tugged my shirt, not that it did anything before opening the door. “H-h-hi...” I stammered. I could hear Lexington hiss again in the living room, but I didn't turn around. “Hi," he murmmered, his smile softening, "I just wanted to apologize again about the water.” He said in his velvety voice. His eyes were locked on mine. “Oh, uh, that’s alright. It’s not really your fault...” I managed to say, and smiled. "You weren't even here." I pulled the hem of my shirt again, I was acutely aware now of how I must look. I was still dressed in my ratty, torn-in-the-knee USC sweats and black tank top. My hair was hanging loosely around my shoulders, and I had no makeup on. I suddenly wished I was back in bed. He smirked, as if hearing my thoughts. “Well, I must admit it wasn’t just the apology I was coming back for.” He tilted his head to the side and his eyes seemed to soften.  I felt my knees go a little weak. “Oh?” I said, trying desperately to appear casual.  I leaned on the door frame to help out with my 'That's totally cool' look, but actually needing something to help support me.  He looked so amazing, and that smell was turning my bones into jello. “I did want to try to persuade you to allow me to take you to dinner. I can be very persistent you know.” He chuckled softly and I blushed. My blue eyes met his. “You have definitely caught me off guard.” I said, trying to break his away from his intensity.  "You definitely seem like a man who is used to getting what he wants."I couldn’t take my eyes away from his. It was as if they were drawn to him, locked in place by some invisible force. I forced my myself to look down. I could feel his eyes still on me, and my heart fluttered. “Well, you are right Cara.  I usually do get what I want, in business that is." He chuckled again.  "I don't usually ask women I just met out either, so this is a first for me.” He said softly. I felt myself blush, and I nodded.  When I looked back up to his beautiful face he was smiling. "Well," I said "I don't usually get asked out by men I just met, nor do I usually say yes to a stranger." I said trying to be witty.  "Not that I think you are strange or anything, I just meant that since I don't know you and this is kind of an odd situation..."I bit my lip to stop myself from rambling.  Derek smiled, a big genuine smile.  I felt myself relax a little bit, and my stomach fluttered.  He tilted his head to the side, clearly amused. “Well, I will take that as a yes and I will be back to pick you up at 6:30. Will that be alright?” I nodded again, amazed that I had agreed to let him take me out. “I look forward to seeing you again, in better circumstances of course.” His smiled widened and he winked at me. I felt myself go hot and I nodded again. He turned and walked to the stairs. I slowly closed the door and let out a long breath. I felt a little dazed, what had just happened? I had agreed to a date with the most mesmerizing man I had ever met, a man that made me light headed and dizzy, a man that I had just met not an hour earlier. I took a deep breath and pressed my forehead to the door. It was then that I remembered Lexington and his reaction. I turned from the door and went to the window where Lexington had been. He was gone. I looked around the living room, under the couch, the TV stand, my desk and even out on the balcony although I knew he couldn’t be there since the window was closed. I frowned and went into the bedroom. “Lexington?” I bent down and looked under the bed. He was there, near the head of the bed, fur on end looking ready to pounce. “Hey baby, come here,” I reached my hand under to touch his fur. He hissed and swiped at me. Startled, I quickly pulled my hand back. “Jeez, what’s with you?” I wondered. As I stood up, thoughts of my cat disappeared from my mind and thoughts of the mysterious Derek drifted back in. I smiled to myself and looked to my closet. I suddenly had the urge to find the perfect outfit, even though I had a few hours. I was looking forward to seeing him again, and when I did I certainly was not going to be wearing sweats. After a few outfit changes and questionable fashion combinations, I finally settled on a strapless black lace dress with a sweetheart neckline cut just above my knee. It showed off my legs nicely, but was not too revealing. I decided to pair it with a sheer purple shrug and my strappy black heels. I pinned my hair up into a loose knot, with a few strands out here and there. I walked into my now soggy bathroom to put on my makeup when Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” rang through my apartment. I dashed out of the bathroom to find my cell phone. I grabbed it off my desk. “Hello” I said breathlessly. “Hellllllloooooo!” a familiar voice chirped musically. “Hi sweetie.” I laughed. Kya Willow was my best friend. She was small and whimsical and looked like a pixie.  All she needed was wings.  She was short, only about 5 feet if she was lucky and had bright blue eyes with a hint of green in each. Her blonde hair was a mass of ringlets, and she kept it in a bob. She had deep dimples in each cheek and smiled often so they showed. She was always perky and happy. I always said she was contagious and loved being around her. We had been friends since we were five. I had been eating ice cream at the park one afternoon and my ice cream fell onto the sand. She saw me crying and came to share her cookies. We had been inseparable ever since. She and I knew each other better than we knew ourselves. We both had moved to New York three years ago, me to write and her to do fashion. She worked for a small company organizing their fashion shows and booking models. She loved fashion and the owner of the company let her design outfits from time to time. She loved her job and was very good at it. I, on the other hand had yet to hit it big. I was no longer working in the reatil store, I had been writing freelance, doing periodic columns for newspapers, sporadic interviews and news pieces but nothing solid yet. I was happy writing freelance, it gave me the opportunity to write what I wanted and still have free time. I wasn’t really looking for anything permanent yet, but if the right opportunity came along, I wouldn’t turn it down. “Whatcha doing?” Kya asked in her bubbly voice. Hearing her always made me smile, and always made me feel better. “Getting ready for a date,” As I said the word, I blushed. Thank goodness she couldn’t see me.  I could see her face in my mind, blue eyes wide and mischevious, ready to fire questions about this mystery man. “A new man in the place upstairs had a water leak in his bathroom, which cascaded into mine so he figured he’d better take me out to pay for it.” I laughed and Derek’s face entered my mind. I felt my heart pound as I thought of his face. My face flushed again. “Cascaded into your bathroom? What did I miss here?” She asked, sounding confused. “Just some water from his place leaked into my bathroom, causing my floor to become a pool, and my ceiling a waterfall.” I explained as I walked back to the mess and shook my head. My towels were soaking wet, and the ceiling was a mess. It had stopped leaking so that was a plus. I grabbed a new towel and put it down on the floor in front of the mirror. I pulled out my makeup kit and balanced my cell between my shoulder and ear. “Well isn’t that nice of him. Is he cute?” I could hear the smile in her voice. I didn’t know how to answer that, Derek wasn’t cute. He was dashing, handsome, debonaire, but not cute. What could I say?  He makes my heart beat so fast I feel like it's going to come out of my chest, he makes my brain so fuzzy I can barely remember how to talk.  It sounded insane!  I coulnd't tell her that, even if she was the only person who might understand, it was just too crazy. She sensed the hesitation, “What? Is he a troll?” She asked, a hint of seriousness in her voice.  "Do I have to come and save you from him? “No, no it’s not that.” I answered, giggling at her question. “He’s not the type of man you'd refer to as 'cute'. He’s very handsome, very charming, very suave. He actually makes me physically dizzy.” I paused for her reaction and cringed to myself.  It sounded really stupid when I said it out loud. “Wow. He must be cute!" she giggled "Maybe I should come over and make sure you look presentable! What are you wearing?” The fashionista in her couldn’t resist. I laughed. “My black lacy, with the purple shrug and black heels.” “Nice,” she replied. “When do I get to meet this man who makes you weak in the knees?” “Well, I just met him, so let's see if this even goes anywhere first.” “Fair enough.” She sighed loudly and laughed. “Well, I was calling to see if you wanted to hang out, but I can see you are far too busy for me. So, I expect to see you tomorrow for brunch and I also expect to hear every single detail. Deal?” “Deal. You driving?” “If you’re buying.” We both laughed. “Alright, see you tomorrow.” I smiled to myself and hung up the phone. I checked the time and went back to my soggy bathroom. I had about twenty minutes before he was going to be here.  Time had flown by and now I was facing the reality, I was going to be with this man in close quarters!  I had to think of things to talk about...I had to talk!  How was I going to be able to make it through an evening with this man with whom I could barely piece together a coherent thought, let alone have full conversations with?  I took a deep breath and looked at myself in the mirror.  Get ahold of yourself, I thought to myself.  This is a man I didn't even know.  I literally know nothing about him and I am acting like he is my destined love.  I rolled my eyes at myself and made a face.  I was being crazy, this was very unlike me.  I took another deep breath and picked up my eye liner.  I was nervous. What was I going to talk to him about? I barely knew what to say to a cashier at the grocery store, let alone a man who made me breathless. I sighed and delicately lined my upper eyelids with eyeliner. As I applied my mascara, I couldn’t help but think about his perfect smile, his aromatic scent, his broad shoulders....I shook my head. “Stop it Cara! Jeez, you barely know the guy and you’re already obsessed.” I muttered to myself. I finished applying my make up and stared at myself in the mirror trying to be calm. I took a deep breath, puffing my cheeks out and exhaling slowly.  I put on my lipstick and grabbed my perfume  As I spritzed a dab onto both wrists and my pulse points on my throat, I couldn't help but wonder if my perfume would match with Derek's.  I shook the thought out of my head.  I was ready, well more or less. Now all I had to do was wait, which I was not good at. I hated waiting, it gave me too much time to think. I walked into the living room scanning my desk for my keys. Lexington had finally come out from under the bed and was sleeping on his cat perch in the corner of the living room. I had grabbed my cell phone from the bathroom and keys from on top of the desk and shoved them into my clutch. I could feel a thousand butterflies taking flight in my stomach. Why was I nervous? I’d been out on plenty of dates before and never had butterflies like this. A soft knock on the door made me jump. At the same time Lexington sprang up and darted under the couch, hissing at the same time. I frowned and turned towards the door. I tugged my skirt down, took a deep breath and pulled the door open. There he was.  He was looking like he had just stepped out of the pages of GQ. He was in a dark suit, with a lavender shirt, top button open. His scent wafted over me as the door opened and I had to fight to keep myself standing. His black hair was perfectly smooth and styled. His brown eyes were smoldering as he looked me up and down.  I felt my heart flutter in my chest. “Hello Cara. You look stunning.”