Insomniac Overthinker

Day 3

Living does feel so exhausting. It's been 2 days and I haven't slept yet. I close my eyes but my mind is active.It's quiet, but my mind can't find peace.My body hurts despite not doing anything, I really have poor health. I am 27 but I feel like 60.I hate social media, it really tells me how lost I am right now.How I am so left behind, physically, career wise, relationships and in life.I used to visualize my adult self at this age with a family of a husband and a child. Damn, where did it go wrong.

I know people have different circumstances, and regardless what they show everyone has their struggle.However, I know that life is unfair because privilege by birth is real.It got me thinking, why am I born poor with an unhealthy environment.I know that a lot of people have similar circumstance but they were able to overcome it. They all say that it takes a lot of struggles and failure before they get there but just how many will it take? I have been in survival mode since I have known hunger. All I can think is to make money to have something to eat. I worked when others played because damn, the feeling of starvation of not having anything to eat for more than 3 days is the hardest feeling I've ever felt before.At that time, I didn't feel this way.However, this time when I'm now an adult working and having a regular income always wonders if this life is really worth living.

Well, two more hours before my shift.Good night.