Her Unheard Weeps

Empathy

Chapter 14

Life is not all about rainbows and unicorns. You can't expect everything to turn out your way.

You can't just wake up in the morning with a smile in your face and expect to have a great day, may sisira at sisira talaga ng araw mo, you can either not having an available ride to school making you end up late or accidentally step on a poo on your way. It sucks. Life sucks...

And believe it or not, That's how life works.

And mine, is just about to start.

It was Sunday again so meaning...no school. Nandito ako ngayon sa GoldenCrest daihil bibisitahin ko ang nobyo kong workaholic na kahit sunday ay hindi pa din nagpapahinga. I doubt if doctors even have any.

Naiintindihan ko naman na their patient's life is at their hands, that there is a huge weight on their shoulders because of the huge responsibility. But would it kill to have At least an hour or two of sleep?

That's why i'm here right now, dahil pagkatapos ng huling pagpunta namin sa bahay nila para sa kaarawan ng ina niya, his mother personally contacted me and begged for me to convince his son to have a little bit of rest. At siyempre hindi ko naman matanggihan ang nag-aalalang ina, i would too wanted it for him.

"Did you know that your immature boyfriend still doesn't speak a damn word to me?" Asked griffin.

I know the floor where oliver's office is, i'm just not sure kung nandoon nga ba siya ngayon o nagra rounds. So i had to contact someone even though oliver would hate the idea. Tinawanan ko na lang.

"Hanggang ngayon?" I said amused.

"Damn right he don't" he murmured and pressed the elevator.

Umiling lang ako. The elevator made a sound indicating na nakarating na kami sa tamang palapag.

"Nasaan ba siya?"

"I think he's in his usual rounds with his assigned patient"

"Ano ba ang sakit ng pasyente niya?"

Ilang lakad pa ay nakarating kami sa harap ng isang pinto. It was a children's ward, as seen on the sign. Dahil nga may kasama akong doktor ay pinapasok kami.

It was a large room, full of children, siguro mga fourteen na kama ang nandoon, seven on the left, and seven on the right. We were walking in the middle space and i can't help but roam my eyes. Hindi mapigilan na makaramdam ng awa para sa mga batang nandoon. They are not supposed to be here...

"Doctor Tan"

Tumigil na pala kami sa isang kama na bahagyang nakasara ang puting kurtina sa bawat side. I can't fully see the patient dahil maraming makina ang pumapalibot, and oliver was busy checking something on it kaya hanggang ngayon ay hindi niya pa din ako napapansin.

"Not now Blakely" aniya sa medyo iritadong boses.

"You have a visitor"

"Who? Make him wait outside. Sabihin mo lalabas na ako maya-maya" hindi pa din lumilingon.

"Doctor" i said formally.

Kaagad siyang napalingon at napansin ko ang bahagyang pagliwanag ng kaniyang mukha. Kaagad niyang iniwan ang ginagawa para lapitan ako.

"Anong ginagawa mo dito?"

"Binibisita ka" I said, "and your mother called me"

Kumunot ang kaniyang noo.

"Anong daw kailangan niya?"

"She wants me to convince you to take a break from work even just for a day"

"I'm sorry to interrupt your little conversation, but i also have a patient waiting for me. I'll just leave you two be" ani griffin.

Nginitian ko siya. "Thank you grif"

"It's nothing" aniya tsaka umalis na.

"Well?" Binalingan ko ang kaharap tsaka humalukipkip.

"I can't"

"And why not?"

"I can't just leave my patient here. Responsibilidad ko sila" Aniya at bumalik na ulit doon sa kama.

Doon ko pa lang tuluyan nakita ang batang babae na nandoon. Amongst all of the children that is in this ward, she was different...in a negative way, hindi banayad ang kaniyang sitwasyon, her lips was pale, and her head was...huge. Her eyes are this close from popping out of their sockets because of the abnormal growth of her head.

I'm no doctor nor a professional but i can diagnose her sickness myself.

Hydrocephalus...

"Oh..my...god" i can't help but gasp.

"Now you know how important this is to me?" Ani oliver, "this little girl is counting on me, in every doctors in this hospital for a normal disease-free life"

"How old is she? Nasaan ba ang mga magulang niya?" I whispered.

Pansin ko kasi na wala siyang bantay.

"They just went downstairs for lunch, sabi ko ako muna ang magbabantay" aniya. "And she's just barely two years old"

"This is too much to handle for a kid her age" i whispered sympathetically. I wanted to somehow touch the child but i'm too afraid that i might cause her pain and uncomfortableness. So i just settled on watching her.

"It's genetic."

"Are you going to perform surgery?"

"As soon as possible"

Tumango lang ako.

The baby girl was awake. And somehow, her gaze suddenly darted on me, and i was amazed that despite her situation, she can even barely move her head, she still managed to c***k a smile at me. She was so cute, so delicate.

So i smiled back with a friendly wave.

I don't know but i do have a soft spot for children. At ngayon, naawa ako sa sitwasyon ng batang ito. Now i fully understand why oliver barely leaves this place. He is this little sunshine's life support. Her chance.

"You could at least get some sleep" naalala ko ulit ang dahilan kung bakit ako nandito. "Kahit ilang oras lang"

"After this. Kapag dumating na ang mga magulang niya"

"Have you stared at yourself in a mirror? Baby...you look like s**t"

"I'm completely aware of that...believe me" he chuckled pero bahagya ding kinusot ang mga mata. See? He is tired.

"But you still love me" aniya na nagpatawa sa akin.

"Yes, i do. But i'm not sure if i would feel the same once you turn to look like a freaking zombie because of your under eye bags" i joked.

He chuckled sexily and i can't help but roll my eyes when he pulled me by the hips and planted a small kiss on my temple.

"I promise. Okay?"

"You better be" i glared. "Ah basta, if i would become a nurse in this hospital i don't want to see you all worked up, you understand me mister?"

"Yes honey" he said in a humor.

"I'm serious Oliver. I swear to God ako mismo ang hihila sa'yo papunta sa opisina mo. Don't try me." i warned.

"Yes Astrid" he said.

"Good"

Both of us turned to the child when we heard her groan a little. Oliver immediately attended her because she was asking for her stuffed doll na hindi namalayan ay nalaglag sa ilalaim ng kama.

"Little one, totoo ba? mukha ba talaga akong zombie?" I heard him whisper to the child.

Hindi ko napigilan ang matawa ng makitang hindi tumugon ang bata, she just naively looked at him.

"Believe me oliver, the child barely knows what a zombie is, don't you sweetie?" I said in a cooing voice, slightly leaning but enough not to touch nor move her body.

I can't help but be awed when the baby girl smiled at me, slightly giggled.

"She likes you" ani ng katabi.

"Aww! You do?" She giggled again, now raising her hand as high as she can towards me as if she was trying to reach me.

I looked at oliver first at tumango naman siya. Doon ko na lang tuluyang hinawakan ang kaniyang maliit na kamay. Her hands were so small that she can only fully grip two of my fingers.

She's so precious. So fragile...

"She's beautiful, isn't she?"

Tatango na sana ako ng mapansin ko na imbes na nakatingin si oliver sa akin ay sa bata siya nakatingin.

I laughed when the little girl slightly moved her shoulders with her body from side to side as if she was agreeing.

"She agrees"

Bahagya ko naman hinampas siya sa balikat. "Ano ba 'yang pinagsasabi mo sa bata!"

He just laughed.

Ilang minuto pa ay dumating na ang mga magulang ng bata. Pagkatapos no'n isang beses 'pang chineck ni oliver ang batang babae. He said something to the parents and instructed the nurse to keep a close eyes to the child.

Doon pa lang ay ramdam ko na ang pag-aalala niya sa bata. Ang attachment niya. It frightens me a bit.

It was a sigh when he decided to spend his rest on his condo than his office. We went home. Hindi din ako nagtagal. I just ordered us some food, and as soon as he dozed off to sleep ay umalis na din ako. I didn't want my mother to come into conclusions. Dahil palagi na lang akong umaalis kahit weekends.

The whole week was okay. Hindi kami minu-minutong nag-uusap ni oliver but i was okay with it, i understand his obligations to his hospital.

We were both becoming busy, most especially me dahil malapit-lapit na din ang mid-term exams namin.

Just like i said, it is not a must in a relationship to speak with each other everyday. That's what makes a mature relationship.

Everything was fine. Until i received a call from griffin on a certain day. It was unusual for him to call. I didn't even know that he still has my number.

"Hey griff, what is it? Napatawag ka ata?"

There was a slight pause for a while.

"Anong meron?" Ulit ko.

"It's nothing too serious really."

I chuckled. "So why call?"

But i can't sense any humor on the other line.

"I just think that it is a need for you to know. Nag-aalala na ako sa kaibigan ko ash"

"Kay oliver? Bakit? Anong nangyari? May nangyari ba sa kaniya?" Napatuwid na ako ng upo.

"No...no—nothing happened to him. It's just that, may napagalitan siya kaninang nurse"

"The reason? Ang unusual naman ata niyan. Hindi niya ugali ang pagalitan ang mga katrabaho niya"

"If you were there ash, maaawa ka talaga sa nurse." He sighed. "It's about his patient"

"Which one exactly?"

"The child with a water baby syndrome"

"You mean the child in ward 227?"

"Yes. He assigned a nurse for the child. And it so happen that the child had a serious seizure na hindi kaagad napansin ng nurse because she had to accommodate a phone call on her station"

Hindi ako agad nakapagsalita.

"You need to talk to your boyfriend ash. He's breaking a medical practice"

"Griff" ani ko ng sinalubong niya ako pagkalabas ko pa lang ng elevator.

Kita ang pagkabahala sa mukha niya

"What happened?"

"Come quick" aniya at sumunod naman ako sa kaniya sa pag lakas takbo.

"Ano bang nangyayari?"

"You are the only one who can cool him down ash. Bilisan mo"

Cool who down? Oliver? Bakit? Ano bang nangyayari?

"Akala ko ba pinapunta mo ko dito para kausapin siya?" I asked confused, still trying to catch up to him.

My question was answered once i saw oliver in the hallway getting in an intense stare with his colleague.

"What is happening?"

"Damn! Akala ko ba pinaghiwalay na nila ang dalawang 'to" griffin murmured. I know he was starting to get annoyed dahil nakakapag tagalog na siya.

"Get out of my f*****g face Ramirez before i have your license taken." Ani ni oliver sa nagbabantang boses.

Hindi ko mapigilan ang maging kuryoso kung ano nga ba ang puno ng pinag-awayan nila.

The doctor was not as old as he looks, in fact, mukha lang siyang ka edad nila griffin at oliver. The Ramirez guy equaled oliver's intense stare which left me and i guess the whole room shook.

"Why would you? You are not the boss of me. At least no yet." aniya na kinalaki ng mata ko.

"Ramirez!" Pumagitna na si griffin. "Tumahimik ka na lang!"

"Blakely. Pakisabi nga diyan sa kaibigan mo na kako 'wag siyang magmayabang dahil hindi pa din naman siya tuluyang doktor o boss ng building na 'to"

Oh no...

I can see the lividness on oliver's eyes, ngayon ko kang siya ulit nakitang ganito kagalit. He looked like he was too eager to beat the hell out of someone, too violent, deadly.

All the witness gasped concurrently when oliver raised his fist. Pero mas mabilis ako sa kaniya.

"OLIVER!" Mabilis na din akong pumagitna.

Umawang ang kaniyang mga labi. Kaagad niyang binaba ang kaniyang kamao pagkatapos ko siyang pinandilatan.

"Stop it! Calm down..."

I heard griffin's voice telling the staffs that the show is over and they should get back to their works. Naramdaman ko din na inakay na ng kung sino ang lalaking doktor kanina na kaaway niya.

"See? Works like an ice" ani ni griffin sa likod ko.

I saw oliver's glaring eyes turned to the doctor behind me. He looked at his friend with a look saying 'why-the-hell-did-you-brought-my-girlfriend-to-my-fight' look

"Wala kang pasok?" Aniya sa mababang boses na tila walang nangyaring gulo kani-kanina lang. Nakarating na kami sa kaniyang office at habang nasa lift kami kanina ay wala siyang imik.

"What the hell was that? Nakikipag-away ka sa trabaho?"

He sat on the sofa.

"I wasn't. May rason kung bakit ako nakikipag sigawan sa gagong 'yon"

Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. Hindi ako nag-abalang umupo.

"I assigned that motherfucker to check up on izzie"

"Izzie? 'Yong bata?"

"Yes. And guess what? While he was checking her up, the fucker had a drink! Which is against hospital regulation!" Bakas sa boses niya ang iritasyon at galit.

"Oh" tanging nasabi ko.

"Hindi dapat gano'n ash! Paano kung may nangyari sa bata! Pasyente ko 'yon e! Kahit check up lang 'yon. Meron pa ring possibleng mangyari. Paano kung mali ang mailagay niya sa chart?"

"Naiintindihan kita" ani ko sa malumanay na boses.

"He's a f*****g surgeon in training ash! Paano kung saka-sakaling may operasyon siya at mali siyang magawa? He will not only endanger the patient's life but he would destroy the hospital's name that my father built by sweat and blood!"

I cleared my throat at dahan-dahan ding umupo sa tabi niya. I grabbed his hand and slightly squeezed it.

"I have something to tell you"

He looked at me brows furrowed.

"What is it?"

"I'm concerned"

"Concerned saan?"

"I'm concerned about you. You're being too attached to the child"

Nakitaan ko ng iritasyon ang kaniyang mukha. Bumuntong hininga ako.

"You're caring...too much"

"I'm her doctor. That's my job" aniya sa mariin na boses.

"You already know...i know..that you do, that a doctor shouldn't get too fully attached to his or her patient. And you know the reason baby" ani ko sa malumanay na boses. Trying not to further annoy him. He already is.

"You're saying that she won't make it. That she will die" he bitterly spat.

"What? No! I mean...i just don't want you hurt! Oliver...you need to understand na hindi mo hawak ang buhay nino man. Especially ng batang may malalang sakit"

Tahimik lang siya,

"Oliver...i'm saying this because you're my boyfriend. And i'm just concerned. All of the doctors here, all of them knew that medical practice. Hindi kita masisi if you are starting to care for the child dahil ginigive up mo nga ang pahinga mo para sa kaniya diba? That's how you wanted her to be fine. And i understand...i do baby"

Hindi pa din siya nagsasalita. Nakatungo lang. Both hands are supporting the weight of his head while he was leaning on his knees.

I sighed and just kissed him on the head.

"I'll just leave you to rest" i whispered.

Wala pa ding tugon kaya tumayo na ako.

"I just want you to know that i'm not the villian here. I'm just your concerned girlfriend" lingon ko pa bago tuluyang lumabas.

You see...there are problems who just suddenly arises.

But there are two options here, you can either face it, or walk away from it. Pero ako, papahingahin ko muna siya. He's just frustrated.