Her Unheard Weeps

Rains in rainbow

Chapter 15

"Hindi pa din siya nakikinig sa akin"

Nagkatinginan ang dalawa kong kaibigan. As if they were talking with their eyes. As if trying to formulate a solution for my miseries.

"We...tori and i, nakapag-isip na kami ng solusyon diyan sa problema mo" ani nissy.

She looked at tori like she was saying na si tori na ang magsabi.

"Iwan mo na" ani tori which caused her to be hit by nissy on the arm.

"What tori...is trying to say is..." pinandilatan niya ito. "You should just support him"

"I know, that idea sucks. Nasasaiyo na kung makikinig ka" tori said in a bored voice.

"Victoria!" Saway ni nissy. "So 'yon nga, supportahan mo na lang siya dahil sinabi mo na din diba na hindi mo siya mapigilan?"

"Stop calling me victoria!...Venice" she rolled her eyes.

"It's not that simple nissy. You would understand if you were in my situation that i...just don't want him to be hurt"

"Edi hayaan mo para matuto."

Sinamaan ko ng tingin si tori.

"What? Totoo naman diba? People learn from what they experience" she said nonchalantly. "He will weep but he'll live. Disappointment? Tsk!...malayo sa bituka"

"I hate to admit it, but she has a point" ani nissy. "But there is also a second option"

"What is it?"

Tinanguan ni tori si nissy. I was starting to think that their plan is frightening. Turns out it was was. Ilang minuto ko ding pinag-isipan pagkatapos nilang sabihin sa akin.

"So?"

"Gagawin mo?"

"It's our last shot"

"Maybe we'll wait for a couple more days bago natin gawin"

Tori groaned while nissy just nodded understandingly.

Ilang araw din ang dumaan at ilang araw ko ding sinasaisip ang plano. I'm still not sure, hesitant, and i still think that it's a bad idea. Dahil kilala ko si oliver. Ang pinakaayaw niya ay ang pinapangunahan siya.

Every passing day, i'm starting to think that i should just do the plan. Lalo na't sobrang naging busy na siya to the point na hindi na kami nagkikita. I really understand his profession, i really do. Before we even entered this relationship, i built myself a respectable line for him, the line of his time and presence, and the boundary for his work.

At sa tingin ko ay iisipin niyang gigibain ko 'yong linya na 'yon once na gawin ko ang plano.

I got up from bed. Kinuha ko ang aking phone at sinubukang tawagan ang nobyo. In this time of hour, siguro nakauwi na siya sa condo niya, unless nag overtime na naman siya. The ringing reached it's peak and the call directed me to the voicemail.

I groaned.

Ilang beses ko pa siya sinubukang tawagan ulit pero hindi niya talaga sinasagot. That night, i slept in disappointment.

"Griff, i'm sorry to be of bother pero kakamustanin ko lang sana diyan si oliver?"

I can't help but call griffin the next morning. Sobrang nag-aalala na ako.

"He's in the ward ash"

"Again? I mean...nagpapahinga pa ba siya?"

"Actually...he spent his night in there."

Hindi siya umuwi? I sighed.

"Pwede ba akong pumunta diyan?"

"You're asking me kung Pwede kang pumunta dito?" He lowly chuckled. "Yes astrid. Pwedeng-pwede, i don't own the damn building. Your boyfriend does. E ako? Pwede pa ba akong magtagal dito?"

"You're crazy" i laughed.

Pagkatpos kong magpasalamat ay binaba ko na kaagad ang tawag para makabihis.

"Saan ka pupunta?" Tanong ng ate ng magkasalubong kami sa hallway.

Kumunot ang noo ko ng mapansing medyo namumutla siya.

"Okay ka lang?" I asked concerned and placed a hand on her neck. "May sakit ka na naman ba?"

"Okay lang ako" she chuckled. "Wala akong sakit"

"Namumutla ka" i stated.

"Namumutla ba?" Sinapo niya ang pisngi. "Gutom lang siguro. Bababa na din ako"

"Sigurado ka ba? Ate..."

"Okay nga lang bunso" she chuckled once again. "Halika na" inakay niya na ako.

Tinitigan ko siya ng ilang saglit.

Nilingon ko siya ng nasa pintuan na ako. "Uminom ka ng gamot pagkatapos mong kumain."

"Yes nurse." She waved her hand in a humor. I rolled my eyes at lumabas na.

"May i know where Doctor oliver Tan is?" I asked when i reached the information area in that floor.

The nurse looked at me as if she recognized me. Saglit tumagal anh tingin niya sa kaniyang desktop at bumalik ulit sa akin.

"He's in a lunch break ma'am. Baka nasa hospital Cafeteria siya ngayon" ani ng nurse.

"Okay thanks" i said at bumaba na naman.

Once i entered the cafeteria, i roamed my eyes for a while and stopped at a certain spot.

I huffed and sighed deeply, trying to remind myself to be calm and gentle kahit gusto ko na ng away.

"Good to know na kumakain ka pa pala" I didn't mean to sound nagging.

"Baby..."

"Baby? May girlfriend ka pa pala?" I sighed, calming myself.

"I'm sorry"

"Bakit hindi mo sinasagot ang tawag ko?" Ani ko sa mahinahon na boses.

"I'm sorry"

"Wala ka na bang ibang masasabi kundi sorry?"

He sighed deeply like stress was coming for him lately.

"Look at yourself. Natutulog ka pa ba?"

His hair was disheveled, his has huge under eye bags, sa tingin ko nga ay medyo pumayat siya.

"The hospital has been very busy lately"

I just hummed unconvinced.

"Hindi yan ang tanong ko"

He looked at me. Like his eyes were searching for understanding.

"Izzie's operation would be later this evening. I would get to scrub in"

"Then she's in good hands" i whispered. He looked at me and i smiled a little. Just like that, he sighed like a whole weight was lifted from him, siguro naiisip niya na galit ako kanina. And the smile just assured him.

"What did i ever do to deserve you?" He reached for my hand.

Pinagsiklop ko iyon. "You save lives"

He chuckled a bit by that. But it was stopped in a sudden and his expression turned into a slightly shocked one while gazing from behind me. Napatayo siya.

"Oliver"

I stilled. Kahit hindi ako lumingon ay nakikilala ko ang boses.

"I heard..."

I stilled more when oliver's gaze turned to me. Gamit ang mata niyang tila nambibintang.

"You called my father!?"

"Oliver. Don't blame your girlfriend. You are the one who is overworking yourself. Sinabihan lang ako"

"Oliver—"

"I can't believe you..." he shook his head.

"Baby—i didn't know...hindi ak—"

"Son. Look at yourself. Rest. Go home" his dad demanded.

"No dad! You go home!" Tumingin siya sa akin. "Go home astrid. Umuwi ka na lang..."

"What?" Hindi makapaniwalang saad ko.

Hindi niya ako pinansin. Tumingin siya ulit sa ama niya.

"I can't go home. I won't. I have a scheduled operation this evening. A very important one" he said in a different tone this time, formal. Like he was speaking to a fellow surgeon.

"Your mother is asking of you. You go home. I'll take it from here"

"You'll do the operation?" He asked unbelieved that his father is taking his place. "No dad! This is my patient!"

"Oliver!" for the first time, i heard his father's low and intense voice.

"At least let me scrub in! The little girl is my patient! And you're retired!"

I can't take the intensity anymore. Lalo na ang tingin ng boyfriend ko na sa tingin ko ay kung hindi pa ako umalis doon ay kakainin niya ako ng buhay. Kaya umalis na lang din ako.

"Bakit mo naman kasi pinaalam?"

"I didn't ate. Nagulat lang din ako na nandoon na siya."

Kumunot ang noo ng kapatid. "Hindi ikaw ang tumawag sa daddy niya?"

"Hindi nga." Pamamaktol ko. "Actually, i was thinking about it okay? Naisip namin 'yon ng mga kaibigan ko."

"Na tawagin ang daddy niya at ipaalam? Para ano?"

"Kasi nga ate halos maging bahay niya na ang hospital. Natatakot ako para sa kalusugan niya. Tsaka sa attachment niya doon sa bata."

"And you thought that his father could help you with it?" She tsked. "Mga baliw din kayo e"

"Basta hindi ko alam kung bakit siya nandoon. Baka ang asawa niya nagpapunta sa kaniya. Even his mom is concerned of him, if i know marami iyong mata sa hospital"

"Well you two might as well rest. Breathe. Give him space while you...mag review ka na doon dahil may exam ka pa bukas!" Saway niya.

I groaned. Ngumuso ako and leaned further to her on her side of the sofa. Niyakap ko siya sa gilid which made her slightly chuckle.

"Naglalambing si bunso?" She said caressing my hair.

"Mamaya na ako mag review" i murmured.

Napaigik ako ng mahina niya akong pinitik sa noo. "Ayan! Love life pa"

I just chuckled.

I leaned further to lean on her chest. Bahagya kasing nakasandal ang likod niya sa head rest ng sofa.

"Ate? Kinakaban ka ba?"

"Huh? Sa ano?"

"Ewan ko. Ang bilis kasi ng heart beat mo"

Nagulat ako ng bigla siyang umayos ng upo sabay tikhim.

"Ate?"

Mabilis siya tumayo at mukha siyang nababahala o ano.

"Aakyat na ako"

"Huh? Bakit? E hindi pa tapos ang pinapanood nati—"

"Okay na 'yan. Ilang beses na din nating napanood yan e. Sige na, akyat na ko. Mag-aral ka na din" aniya at mabilis na umalis.

Wala na akong nagawa kundi patayin ang pinapanood at umakyat na lang din.

Maya-maya pa ay dumating na ang ina. Sabay kaming nag dinner at pansin ko ang pagkailang ng kapatid.

Pagkatapos kumain ay kaagad din akong umakyat na dahil nga magre review pa ako.

Pero paano ako makakapag review kung ang utak ko ay mukhang naiwan pa ata doon sa ospital? Hindi ako makapag focus. Naiisip ko pa din ang reaksyon kanina ni oliver.

Mukhang nagalit pa yata sa akin.

The thought made me pout like a child. "Wala naman akong kasalanan doon e"

I just shrugged the thought off at pinilit ang sarili na mag focus.

I groaned in pain. My back was already aching at ilang tsokolate na din ang naubos ko bago ko lingunin ang night stand. The clock was indicating that it was already past 1 a.m.

Already? Hindi man lang ako nakaramdam ng antok?

I just hope for the best. 7 bukas ang exam ko. Sana hindi ako ma late.

I got up from my bed and stretch my body for a bit. Pagkatapos no'n ay isa-isa ko ng dinampot ang mga basura; plastic wraps, papers and more papers.

Bumaba na din ako dahil bahagya akong nakaramdam ng uhaw. Maybe it was of all the chocolate that i ate.

I returned the pitcher full of water on the fridge. At saktong pagsara ko no'n ay biglang nakarinig ako ng katok mula sa main door ng bahay.

Hindi ko mapigilan ang pagtaas ng balahibo.

Who would came in and knock on our door two in the f*****g morning? My goodness!

"Sino yan?" Syempre hindi ko muna binuksan no!

No response.

"Sino—"

Like a cue, my phone in my hand started to ring.

"Hello—"

"Baby...It's me"

"Oliver?"

"Open the door"

Dumako ang tingin ko sa pintuan. Siya to?

Mabilis ko namang binuksan iyon at bumungad sa akin ang pagod niyang mukha. He looked exhausted as hell. He looked like hell itself!

"Anong ginagawa mo dito?" Akala ko ba galit ka?...

"I'm sorry"

"Huh?"

I yelped when he suddenly hugged me. Rested his head on my shoulders.

"Are you okay?" I caressed his back.

"I'm not"

"Anong nangyari? Nag-away ba kayo ng daddy mo? Kamusta 'yong opera—"

"She's dead." Aniya na kinagulat ko.

"Huh?"

"Izzie. The innocent little girl. She's dead" he said exasperatedly.

"Oh my God! Teka...bakit—paano?"

I looked at his face and he was just looking down.

Hindi siya nagsalita.

"I'm sorry. O-okay ka lang ba?"

Umiling siya.

"I'm so sorry" i said in an empathetic tone.

Hindi pa din siya nagsalita. I sighed.

"You go home. You should rest" i stated. "Kaya mo bang mag drive? Pasensya ka na. You can't stay here for the night. Si mommy—baka makita ka niya—"

"Take him home ash"

Napalingon kaagad ako. I forgot to breathe for awhile, only to see my sister near the stairs.

"Ate..."

"Ako na bahala kay mommy" tinanguan niya ako. "Kailangan niyang magpahinga"

I stared at her for awhile. She made a small smile understandingly.

Lumingon ako ulit kay oliver.

"Stay here"

Kaagad akong tumakbo pataas at kinuha lang ang wallet, mga textbooks, wallet, bag, tsaka nilagay ko na din ang uniform sa paper bag.

I went downstairs in a haste at ang ate ay nandoon pa din sa kung saan ko siya iniwan, gano'n din si oliver na nakatungo lang, mukhang wala sa sarili.

"He's broken" whispered by my sister.

"I know. Maraming salamat talaga ate. " i hugged her tightly. "Anong sasabihin mo kay mommy? Magdududa 'yon kapag hindi niya ako makita mamayang mag-agahan?"

"I would just tell her that you got off early. Let's say five?"

"That's unbelievable" i chuckled.

"Six it is." Tango niya. "Sige na"

I hugged her one last time. "Thank you ate"

Hinila ko na si oliver. I placed my things on the back seat at pinaupo ko naman siya sa passenger seat. Kita pa ang taka sa mukha niya.

"Ako ang magda drive" ani ko.

"Hindi. Kaya ko—"

"Ako na sabi" kinuha ko na sa kamay niya ang susi at pumasok na sa driver's seat. Marunong naman talaga akong mag drive. Just slowly of course.

"I'm sorry. I'm a mess" i heard him said.

"It's okay. I still love you though" i lightly smiled.

"What did i ever do to deserve you?"

"You save lives"

He scoffed sarcastically. "Now i highly doubt that"